Monthly Archive for December, 2004

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Mad Cow Disease

Published on December 9, 2004 in Uncategorized. 3 Comments

I studied in the Computer Science department of Jadavpur University in Calcutta where in our year there were 52 guys and 1 girl. Other departments like Mechanical Engineering had 100 guys to 1 girl. Hooking up with members of the opposite sex outside one’s social/educational circle was much more difficult than it is today— chatting and SMS-ing was unheard of in those dark ages (1995-1999) . Testosterone-driven desperation hung thick in the air —some became hooked onto “palm piloting” , some sought solace in same-sex experiences, some stayed awake at night for the non-deterministic half-hour of Playboy TV on TB-6, many watched Sun TV’s After Dark with the sound off , the adventurous few jumped the red light. The more academically inclined, ambitious people used their frustration to motivate themselves by fantacizing about what they would do once they landed in USA after a kick-ass GRE score—straight off the plane and straight into the set of “MTV Grind”.

Even the kind of volcanic stirrings we felt were nothing comparable to what must have prompted these two fine men from Tughlaqabad (yes from a city named after a mad emperor–how appropriate) to rape a cow and stab her. I shall not go into the sickening details of this bestial act but I cannot help but wonder as to what level of desperation would make human beings stoop to this level. I do not support this dastardly act–not in one bit.(A measure of how civilized we are is how we treat animals) But on a level…yes I understand.

I remember from sociology that most people commit suicide in summer rather than winter (intuition would say that winter makes one depressed and hence winter should see higher number of suicides) because the way a depressed person looks at it is that everyone else is having fun and feeling good (this is obviously a Western summer) while I am miserable. The same sentiment is beautifully echoed in “As Good As it Gets” where the following exchange takes place.

Carol (Helen Hunt): “OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you—”
Melvin(Jack Nicholson): “It’s not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that’s their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you’re that pissed that so many others had it good.”

With so many young people in India now indulging their basic instincts (see my post DPS Dhamaka) , the gap between the haves and the have-nots (in this case the “getting-it” and the “getting-it-not”s) becomes even more unbearable for the people in the second category. And this cow incident is just a manifestation of that “unbearable heaviness of not getting”.

A question that intrigues me is : given that such a woeful incident has happened ,how will the moral guardians react? Well they could have reacted in a wrong fashion–like the big guys at DPS do. Their latest boo-boo is the moral stricture imposed by the principal which makes girls compulsorily wear “flannel trousers” (Trust me sir that won’t help matters any) . For once however the moral guardians have got it right with respect to the cow incident….and it needed the sagacious government of Bihar to show us the light. [After all if the Yadavs do not look after cows who will ?]

The Bihar judiciary (technically not the government but law and Bihar, as we all know, are oxymorons) has banned, yes sir banned, naked dance shows at cattle fairs. Now this is the kind of jurisprudence I always approve–plain and simple common sense striking at the root cause of problems. Naked ladies dancing near cows is an aberration of nature and should never have been allowed to happen in the first place. It puts cows at further risk of molestation and I am surprised that this was allowed to continue for so long. But at least once the authorities have gotten it right and I am sure all the cows will heave or should I say moo a sigh of relief at this example of judicial activisim. Not so lucky the girls of DPS who shall have to slip in (and out ) of flanneled trousers for some time to come.

DPS Dhamaka

Published on December 5, 2004 in Uncategorized. 15 Comments

A friend (who declined to be indentified), a beacon of high morality, always used to tell me that the students of DPS (Delhi Public School) are , by and large, debauched rich kids who go to school for merry -making. Which in my opinion is exactly how a school should be—Riverdale, the school at Beverly Hills 90210 , DPS and of course my alma-mater South Point High School (which rocks yo !) have all strived to impart knowledge without forgetting ” a little bit of Erica on the side”.

My friend’s worst notion about DPS was confirmed this week by the sex -tape (or clip cause its very brief and retails for Rs 40 at Palika Bazar) that has become the rage all over the nation. (As an aside, this sex-tape has made the MMS market in India just like Halo made it for the XBox). Of course the moral guardians are shocked—–as if the fact that this class 11 couple were engaging in lewd acts was not enough, the boy and girl were unrepentant —the boy sold this clip for Rs 100 each to his pals (a profit of 150% over the market price–good business sense) and the girl told the principal that she found nothing wrong in it and everyone was doing it closing her argument by asking the principal–”Don’t you” ? Touche.

The school retaliated in the same way institutions usually do—by expelling the concerned students. What puzzles me is how it is the school’s call to expel two students engaging in consensual “exploratory” acts —-it’s just another case of institutions acting as moral guardians . This is just a manifestation of a wider malaise: of governments, schools and other institutions getting their “briefs” wrong—-each of them try to transcend their primary responsibilities (governance and education) in order to impose a code of morality on their subjects.

As an example of this , the Indian government has enshrined in the Indian Penal Code the definition of “acts against Nature” (which includes homosexuality and many of the stuff that make sex enjoyable) which empower them, theoretically, to arrest anyone engaged in such lewdity even when it is consensual and private. [Recently a Supreme court judgment ruled that homosexuality cannot be accepted as normal and should remain an "act against Nature"---the way a venerable judge is allowed to impose his own personal bias on the entire country is scandalous]. Similar is the government’s viewpoint on pornography and prostitution : it goes on everywhere and we all know that it does (just like school sex) —but it is technically a crime.

And so the newspapers have gone to town blaming this incident on the increasing promiscuity of our culture. Which is a load of crap. The desire to do “illicit” things is basic human nature (from Eve partaking the apple)—something that does not change with age. It’s just that chat and cellphones have made it easier for girls and guys to find like-minded versions of each other and indulge in stuff which our generation could not. And that was not because we didn’t want to but because we didn’t have the opportunity.

Coming back to the controversy, DPS banned the use of cell phones inside the school after the incident…….Hello? It’s the camera inside the cellphone that took the pictures not the cellphone. And the acts were not on school premises—-how will the school prevent camera phones/digicams at home? As usual in their obscene hurry to do something (about which nothing can be done) the DPS authorities did something that makes no sense.

In conclusion , the boy and the girl in question do not deserve to be punished. One of them has shown good business sense in selling something (over which he does not have exclusive ownership) at a premium and laudable business ethics. While management usually sits and lords over the workers and eats off their labor, here is one who is doing the “dirty” work himself. The girl has shown true scientific temper in wanting to experiment (a latter day Madame Curie). One has to remember it’s not just sex (which is ho-hum) but sex in front of the camera like Paris Hilton and Pam Anderson. If the sex video boosted the careers of these fine ladies why is it that this girl now stands a pariah ? It’s notjust getting horizontal that she should be remembered for but for the fact that she stood up for her convictions in front of the principal and won a point—now if that’s not courage under fire pray tell me what is? I say to these fine examples of youth : may your tribe increase. As old George Bush would say: victory to the coalition of the willing ! Amen.