By now all of you must have heard of the vibrating condom ring scandal that rocked Madhya Pradesh. For those who did not : Hindustan Latex had created a battery-operated vibrating condom (Crezendo) which offended the moral police in Madhya Pradesh because they felt it was a “sex toy” and since adults should never play with toys, they wanted it , predictably banned. What particularly piqued my demented mind was how this problem was brought to the attention of the minister who campaigned passionately against Crezendo. From his words on CNN-IBN
yeh prasn is liye utha hain kyon ki ek vidyarthi mere paas aaaya aur kaha ki yeh vibrating ring lekar hostel ke andar vidyarthi iske upayog kar rahe hain aur iske marketing ho rahee hain. vidyarthi agar parne ke samay main is prakar ki vibrating ring ka upyog karta hain to main samajhta hoon ki yeh kisi ke liye chinta ki vishaaye ho sakti hain.
Which means that one day, our honourable minister, in the course of his peregrinations, was accosted by a student whose complaint was not the unavailability of books in the library, or of placement opportunities or the need to upgrade campus facilities. No. His complaint was that some students had vibrating condoms on their walking sticks. Displaying sagacity of the highest form, the minister realized that if “vidyarthis” are racked with repeated eruptions from battery-operated enhancements while studying (parne ke samay), a generation of young men will be created solely dependent on automation for even the simplest of tasks, unable to use their hands.