Na Na Nana

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[UPDATED POST]

Shocking stuff.

Protesters mobbed Filmistan Studios in Mumbai seeking an apology from actress Tanushree Dutta for allegedly insulting actor Nana Patekar during the shoot of an item song.

On the sets of the film Horn Ok Please, Tanushree was to make some physical contact with Patekar during the item number, which she refused.

Her refusal was seen as an insult to the actor.

The protesters surrounded her car outside Filmistan Studios seeking an apology from her, but she refused to leave her car.

Even her father reportedly got involved in a scuffle with the protesters.

The film’s producer has removed her from the movie

[Video]

What’s the matter Ms. Dutta? What’s wrong with an intimate step or two with Nana Patekar? Remember that the name of the movie is “Horn Ok Please” which means everything is “ok” as long it concerns artificial (“artificial” being the operative word here) spherical artifacts that resemble trucker’s horns and as long as the magic word “please” is being used.

Or is the problem not the act itself but its horn”-Y perpetrator?

In other words, is the supremely handsome Nana Patekar not good enough for you, Ms. Tanushree Dutta?

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Praise The Lord

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Bhaiyya bhaiyaa, maaro isko. Yeh aadmi hain na mujhe bahoot danger dikhta hain. Yeh aap ka sara hua tiger naheen hain. Yeh to mujhko Bengal ka tiger dikthaa hain

.

–Chutiya (Shakti Kapoor) about Shankar (Mithun Chakraborty) [movie: Gunda (1998)]

Yes ! In a sign that God does exist and that He cares about cricket, if not about humanity, Mithun Chakraborty has decided to take over Kolkata Tigers (now called Bengal Tigers for obvious reasons), the franchise that represents the city of Calcutta (and now Bengal) in the beleaguered India Cricket League.

And this is not a moment too soon. With a certain evil cricket corporation headed by a certain “kafanchor neta” attacking anyone who has had anything to do with the India Cricket League with the same avarice that the evil zamindars and the dons reserve for the underprivileged in Mithun-da flicks, the arrival of Prabhuji had become a cosmic necessity. Who knows, if the advent had been delayed, the inevitable “kahaan ja rahi ho chammak challo, aaja janeeman” scene, that occurs within the first 45 minutes of any Prabhuji flick may also have come to pass with the targets being the sisters of those associated with the ICL in any way.

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Sadness

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Getting my daily fix of Rediff in the morning, I came across this piece (Is Shilpa Shetty married?) which if we are to believe Rediff is a Pulitzer-deserving bit of citizen journalism, though some others may call it “gross invasion of privacy”

Readers, you may congratulate yourselves for being the best citizen journalists. You were the first to send us pictures of Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai’s wedding last year, and every time you bumped into a celebrity.

Now, a reader has sent us pictures of Shilpa Shetty and her fiance Raj Kundra at the Shirdi Saibaba shrine.

Speculation is rife that the couple got married in secret, and went straight to Shirdi to seek the blessings of Saibaba

While whether Ms. Shetty is married is out, we know not for certain. However, there is not an iota of doubt looking at the morose face of Mr. Kundra that he is. Normally I would have had sympathy for Mr. Kundra after having seen Shilpa in full cry in Big Brother. But he has already been married once and should have known better.

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A Post on Indian Hockey

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Indian hockey is dead. So say the press, ex-players and the outraged populace. The reason: India has failed, for the first time in 80 years, to qualify for the Olympics –an event where it has won 8 gold medals before.

After all the chest-flailing and the universal condemnation of the incompetence and arrogance of the IHF has run its course, it’s time for some introspection and some perspective.

Here’s the deal.

Not qualifying for the Olympics in itself is hardly the end of the world.

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Knight Rider Korbo Re

92 Comments

As many of you may know, I have nothing but the highest regard for Shahrukh Khan’s intelligence and acting prowess and though I may refuse to acknowledge this in mixed company, an embarrassingly serious crush on his 6-pack abs. So when I heard that SRK had acquired the ownership of the Kolkata franchise of the IPL, I felt that indescribable sensation in an indescribable body part, the kind of which I first felt when I saw a bare-torsoed man,his essentials covered by a white towel, jump off the diving board in Baazigar.

In a way this was inevitable. Owning a company with the name “Red Chillies”, it was fated that the great Khan would plump for the “Red” bastion of Bengal.

But then I got a bit confused.

The “red” part was ok but what kind of chillies, red or small, could SRK possibly be interested in?

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Loanacy

53 Comments

One of the things that I usually do not comment on is the Union Budget. The reason is simple. I know very little about economics and I have mentioned that before. For me the budget is all about special-interests driven fiscal dribbling: tariffs lifted on consumer electronics, an extra cess on cell-phones and exactly the opposite the next year.

In other words, nothing worth commenting on or getting too worked up about.

But then once in a few years, usually right before election time, the government decides to make a grand populist gesture. It gets excellent press, is politically extremely correct, can be spun of as a “crowning achievement” in the coming elections, allows poster painters to put down “savior of the common man” below gigantic cut-outs of leaders, and most importantly serves a vested interest or two. What’s positively evil genius about such gestures is that once you take even a slightly close look at it— you see that it’s blatantly unfair, isn’t that much of a big deal anyways, helps people who don’t need it that much, does not help all those whom it is supposed to and does absolutely nothing to solve the larger problem.

Yes I am talking about Sonia mam’s historic 100% government loan write-off to farmers who own less than 2 hectares and 25% loan write-off for overdue loans for all other farmers (provided they pay back 75% of their loan as negotiated) irrespective of financial condition or location , an amount that will directly cost the exchequer, as originally reported, 60,000 crores.

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ExcuseORama

76 Comments

Hello and welcome to the Cricket Show on Kangaroo TV. Today our hosts are Jingoistic Australian Mainstream Reporter 1 (JAMR1) and Jingoistic Australian Mainstream Reporter 2(JAMR2).

Before we start, a message from our sponsors: Fosters— Australian for Boor.

[30 sec slot of Andrew Symonds drinking Fosters]

Host: Hello and welcome back. Front page news in all the papers today: India have defeated Australia convincingly in their own den. Your reactions?

JAMR1: Okay let’s put this in perspective here. Australia dominated the preliminaries and India just came at the end and took the Cup. The format’s fault really.

Host: Well if we look at India-Australia matches as a bilateral One Day Series, there were 6 matches played out of which one was a wash-out and the remaining 5 India has taken 3 games to 2. So..

JAMR2: I think we are missing the point here. The Indian board has used its money power to destroy the morale of the Australian team. Ricky Ponting and the lads have had so many extra-cricket issues on their minds—bid rates, contracts, tax forms—that they have been unable to focus on the game. It’s disgraceful how the cash-rich Indian board intentionally held their IPL auctions at a time when the series was going on and this totally messed with our player’s minds. I can assure you that if there had been no IPL auction, the Australians would have knocked the Indians over.

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Greatness at Sydney

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The persistent blot on Sachin Tendulkar’s legacy has often been cited to be his inability to finish the game off in pressure situations, especially in tournament finals, knock-outs and the fourth innings of crucial Tests . While it may be argued that for nearly twenty years it has primarily been Sachin who has been responsible for bringing India to the finals and more generally to winning positions in the first place, this criticism has not been without foundation, even more so in recent years with perhaps the most egregious example of Sachin failing when he was needed the most being the final game against Sri Lanka in the preliminary stage of World Cup 07, where he folded up against a straight delivery from Dilhara Fernando.

The last time that Sachin played a command innings under choking pressure is, as far as I recall, during World Cup 2003 in the match against Pakistan. With qualification for the next stage on the line, he came out with all cannons firing and launched a blistering attack on Akram, Akthar and Waqar in the process taking all the fight out of Pakistan. Even then he could not “finish” the game and while it took a solid partnership from Dravid and Yuvraj to put the seal on an emphatic victory, it is undeniable that the ease with which they knocked off the runs was influenced by Sachin’s belligerence earlier on.

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