1920–the Review (with Minor Spoilers)

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I normally avoid writing reviews that give away “surprise” plot twists or the ending. However in this review, I am going to give way a minor spoiler (in that I give you the back story in the beginning whereas it is revealed half an hour before the end—however I do not reveal the “shocking” climax though I am sure all of you will figure what it is an hour into the movie, you will never see how it is accomplished). If you have a problem with that, I suggest you leave immediately. Of course some may argue that the moment Vikram Bhatt decides to direct a movie, it is already ruined and so it is difficult to spoil it any more than it already has been.

I do not agree to this above statement needless to say. Vikram Bhatt is a rare talent.

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Foreign Affairs

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[From here]

Sarah Palin’s meeting in New York this morning with Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari part of her crash course in foreign affairs — began innocuously enough.

“So nice to meet you,” she told him, according to the pool report filed by CNN, and he responded in kind.

Simple, civil salutations. But Zardari soon steered the conversation in a direction that would make Campbell Brown, the CNN anchor who Tuesday called John McCain’s campaign aides sexist, cringe and cry chauvinism. Here is the exchange:

ZARDARI: “You are even more gorgeous than you are on the [inaudible].”

PALIN: “You are so nice. Thank you.”

ZARDARI: “Now I know why the whole of America is crazy about you.”

[A Zardari handler tells the two to shake hands again for the cameras.]

PALIN: “I’m supposed to pose again.”

ZARDARI: “If he’s insisting, I might hug.”

At that point, the pool reporter was escorted from the room.

Video of incident.

—————–

Here is what we think might have happened. The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people and incidents is purely coincidental.

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Mountain Ox Ms Fox

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I have often, in the course of my writings, been looking for a metaphor for desire (or as the Tic Tic Tic man would say “deesaires”) . As in some juxtaposition of words that truly brings out the essence of this sinful sensation.

I think I have found it. Thanks to an article linked from the front page of TOI.

I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl – (OC star) Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.

And before you ask, yes this article did make me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.

Victoria Ki Andar Ki Baat Hain

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One of the misconceptions (and that may have been due to a scene in “Enemy of the State”) I had about the US before I came here was that premier lingerie shops in the US (which I then thought was Victoria’s Secret) employed models who live-demoed their merchandise.

This sensualized ideal lasted till my first visit to Victoria’s Secret (let me assure you not to wear their products myself), an experience that was a huge let-down.

Firstly, with an outlet in almost every major mall, I realized that it was not as exclusive as I had once thought. Secondly the only lingerie-clad models you were likely to encounter were two-dimensional black-white representations of beautiful women framed on the walls and under diffused lighting. And thirdly the most shocking thing about the place were the prices on the tags, constituting perhaps the highest dollars per thread  number you would encounter (unless you went to places like Saks Fifth Avenue, which I avoid).

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Lehman Check

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Darren Lehmann, ex-Australia cricketer and ace beer-drinker is sitting in his living room lovingly caressing his beer gut. As he lifts a Fosters to his lips,  the bell rings. Ever since he joined the Rajasthan Royals as a stop-gap player covering for Graeme Smith and dropped two catches and overall looked as match-fit as Guddi Maruti , Lehman has stayed clear of the cricket pitch as a player and instead concentrated on landing a coaching gig with Laxman’s Chargers. So who could it be that was ringing his bell at 5 in the afternoon?

He opens the door and finds three men standing there. Three men he has never seen before.

One of them says: Khuda ke liye, kuch paisa de do baba

Lehmann, who learnt Hindi to understand the Indian sledging, especially from Nayan “Aigaaa” Mongia says:  Go go you beggars, you wont find anything here.

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Durga Durga

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[Inspired by this article in the Telegraph about sponsorship strategies of Durga Pujas including a Puja committee that has sold all branding rights to an US company and another that has a promotional music video and about Zee Bangla coming up with the ultimate business plan, telecasting live the beautiful people at Maddox Square, my field of Pujo dreams.]

Setting: A Puja committee meeting, somewhere in Kolkata. Circa 2010.

Sujit-da (Mamata-fan and president of Puja committee) : Nontu, so have the people from Sheyal TV Bangla (Fox TV’s Bangla venture) sent in the 30 lac check for the Pujo sponsorship?

Nontu, secretary: Sujit-da this year we decided to do things a little bit differently. Do you remember Habla?

Sujit-da: Of course how can I not remember Habla? A Jadavpur engineer but still so committed to the cause. During the Singur andolon, he was a front-line warrior with us, beating up the people who tried to enter the plant. I still remember Habla standing in the afternoon sun, throwing stones at the Nano plant and shouting Tata-Bye Bye. So what about him?

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And Yet Again

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The Indian Mujra-hideen sends a terror email from an insecure wireless network, an act the press respectfully informs us ” as hacking into a wireless account”. Bombs go off. People die. Which city was it today?

Jaipur, Varanasi, Bangalore, Surat, Delhi, Mumbai or somewhere else ?

Does it matter to you or me as long as our loved ones are safe (for the time being)?

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The US Presidential Elections–the Story So Far

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After more than a year of heated warm-up with a lengthy and dramatic primary season, the US presidential election campaign is ready to enter the last lap. Finally. The Indian media’s coverage of the US presidential election has been most perfunctory and that is to be expected .  I myself would not have been particularly interested in it had I not been in Uncle Sam’s own country where it is impossible to be not assailed by the elections as soon as you switch the TV on, unless of course you watch only “Lost” and “Gossip Girls”.

But tuned into it I am. And here below is my round-up.

Warning: this is a long long post.

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Rock On—The Review

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I am sorry. I know I am supposed to love “Rock On” considering how much it has been appreciated and adored by the hep and the happening crowd, if only to show how “with it” I am and to prove that my brain has not become “down market” after endless listenings of “Humra Hau Chahi“.

But somehow, and you can blame Guddu Rangeela for that, I just could not bring myself to have any kind of fondness for “Rock On”, particularly after all the hype about how good it was.

Maybe it was the genre that was the problem. “Rock On” is an unapologetic chick flick. For guys. Which makes it technically a “dick flick”. Which is why I  hoped it would have been called “Cock On” , if for nothing else than for the sake of truth in labeling.

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