Monthly Archive for December, 2008

Page 3 of 3

Arrest Procedure

Published on December 8, 2008 in Politics. 37 Comments

Rule 1: When arresting terrorists, put pillow cases on their heads. Preferably in shocking purple/ pink and with big yellow flowers on them.

Rule 2: Leave these macho men with these pillow cases on their heads with a 300 lb convict who has the prison name Maharani.

[Photo courtesy Reuters. The men in pink/red/purple are the two SIM-card procurers for the Mumbai butchers]

[Update: As per Akasuna No Sasori, one of these people is actually an informer. The other presumably is a terrorist. BBC link]

The Crank Call

Published on December 7, 2008 in Silly. 38 Comments

[Following is a pure work of fiction wherein my demented mind tries to imagine what the famous crank call that almost caused a Indo-Pak war must have gone like. Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental. ]

Aide to Pak President Z: Phone sir. From India.  Foreign minister Pranab Mukherjee.

Z (on other line): Yes Mr Hafeez. Koi problem naheen. I understand that as head of LET, you are our honored mehmaan. I promise you sir today your mutton kebab will be hot. I apologize for yesterday…I know how much you hate cold kababs. Now I have to go. Indian foreign minister on phone. Yes sir. I will make kabab myself today and bring it personally to your room. You not worry. Ibrahim bhai will be there too…oh good…we will all play Jihadopoly together with fake Indian currency…no cheating..na…

Continue reading ‘The Crank Call’

Fransip

Published on December 5, 2008 in Politics. 101 Comments

The net has been awash with videos of a certain Yugpurush (whose name I shall not take and dignify him nor to whose videos I shall link to and I request you to do the same ), a Pakistani media personality where he reveals, using powers of deduction that is dazzling in its intellectual brilliance, that the Mumbai attacks were caused by Hindu-Zionist terrorists, a fact that is evidenced from the Hindu red strings they wear (I personally thought they were Jihad Jihad Hota Hain friendship brands which say “We will share the same virgin in heaven”) and the fact that they look like Hindus (evidently, intelligence sources inside India are calling him to give him the inside scoop). According to this media figure, the plan failed because as he puts it with traditional astuteness, since these were Indians, they did not have the “akal” to do the work ( “In ahmakon ne complete disaster kiya isko handle karne mein“)

Continue reading ‘Fransip’