Dilli 6— the Review

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Yeh bandar bana hum sabke pyar main

—Dilli 6

Dilwalon ke seher Dilli. Where if the blue line buses don’t kill you,  the babalog in BMWs will.  And where love turns people into simians.

Following his harrowing look at true evil in “Aks” (Manoj Vajpai’s performance being truly a crime against God) and the capturing of the spirit of Youngistan and its revolutionary “Be the Change” message in “Rang De Basanti” (subsequently shamelessly copied by Burback O Bama), Raykesh Om Prakash Mehra is back with a heartfelt love sonnet to Dilli, jahan se, as a great poet once said, log billi ke dudh peeke aate hain.

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Dog Day Afternoon

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Slumdog Millionaire has won ! Yeahhh ! Every Indian can now leap out of human excreta and go Jai Ho under the neele aasmon ke taale. Because as Anil Kapoor tells us “It’s time for me, the whole team of slumdog and every India to cheer and celebrate. We are having an ecstatic moment here in LA. I can only say that India has made a clean sweep here.” Why just Anil Kapoor, who may be forgiven for being a bit carried away, even Raja Sen of Rediff informs us that “India conquers the Oscars”.

Surely a movie/documentary made by non-Indians with India as the subject winning equates to India conquering the Oscars. Just like if the “March of the Penguins” would have swept the Academy Awards, it would have been a glorious achievement of Antarctica and a proud day for all penguins.

[Update: Why Anil Kapoor or Raja Sen? According to the TOI, the Congress is now claiming credit for Slumdog (I hope they have seen the movie to be sure about what exactly they are claiming credit for). Baila Baila ! (link courtesy Rohit) ]

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Dev D–the Review

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As a director,  Anurag Kashyap, the Hindi movie industry’s most experimental young film-maker, provokes extreme reactions. To some, he is a misunderstood genius, a modern master with a distinct visual and cinematic style, an anti-establishment icon who will not apologize or compromise on his creativity. To many others, his movies are monuments to narcissism where he often gets so carried away by his single-minded obsession with raising a “Beat that you punks” symbolic middle finger to imagined enemies, that he drops the ball with regards to the very basics of the filmmakers craft—of being understandable and of being able to sustain audience interest.

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The 25 Things About Me You Were Better Off Not Knowing

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In the spirit of this silly day dedicated to St. Valentine, I copy the viral “25 random things about me” note from Facebook.

1. I do not like driving. My official “oh ho” reason for that is when I was 8 years old, I was involved in a bus accident that killed the people I was with and I escaped death by falling between dead bodies. For which I have an excessive fear of dying on the road. Now you are free to believe that reason. Or just call it an excuse.

2. I studied in Presidency College for one day in the Economics department. I guess I was trying to follow my father’s footsteps. Didn’t last long.

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A Valentine Day Story

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[Long Post]

Scene: A red heart shaped statue. A tourist guide with a bunch of tourists stand at its base

Guide to tourists: And this over here is the monument, the beautiful Broken Heart, constructed to commemorate all those marytrs for love who fell, many of them nameless, on that fateful Valentine’s Day. In the greatest non-violent mass movement since the Non-Cooperation andolan, young men and woman stood together and took a stance against repression. They took blows and punches and had their hair pulled so that successive generations have the freedom to get drunk, pass out, buy overpriced long-stemmed roses and splurge on “My heart will go on” -playing musical cards.

It was a time of great political ferment in the country. Scared that women in low-rider jeans drinking, dancing and cavorting with the Rocky Khannas of the world will wipe out Indian civilization as it was known then, a mass movement of cultural fundamentalists united under organizations with names like “Banar Sena” , “Dushashana Fan Club”. They then announced plans to forcibly prevent Valentine Day celebrations across the country and to marry off any girl and boy who were walking together, unless the boy tied a Rakhi around the girl’s hand and made her a behena.

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Dear Pakistani Government

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Dear Pakistani government,

When writing detective fiction, do remember one of the cardinal sins is changing the ending at the last moment.   I understand that Bangladeshi government didnt quite take kindly to being identified as the “murderer” in your novel “Massacre at Mumbai” also known as “Official Pakistani Probe into the incidents of 26/11″ and so you had to make a last moment change to “Eurpoean country” but do take care that the rest of your pulp fictional narrative builds up to that conclusion.

Here’s hoping a Crooker Prize for you.

Thanks and regards