Monthly Archive for December, 2009

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Thank You Everybody

Published on December 16, 2009 in Blogs. 140 Comments

Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind won the Indiblog of the Year and the Most Humorous IndiBlog at the Indibloggies [polling statistics here] setting off mass hysteria in the country.

According to news agency Reumors, Kolkata went on a general twenty-four hour bandh, Mamata Banerjee asked for the resignation of the chief minister, Katrina Kaif signed another three movies, three more political parties demanded separate states, two more Bhojpuriyas were beaten up in Mumbai and Zardari got  three billion more dollars in “non-military” aid.

Yes mass hysteria. Of the mundane kind seen everyday.

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We Are Not Worthy

Published on December 14, 2009 in India. 102 Comments

Shan, a regular commenter here, posts a link on his Facebook page, an extract from a “travelogue” titled “To Hellholes and Back” [Link] which in essence says that India is the “most annoying place in the world to be a tourist” with “sleazy dishonest” merchants, of the type that presumably cannot be found anywhere else in the Milky way.

And if this piece of “hellhole” bit of writing was not enough of the imperial Macaulian “those poor annoying subhuman bastards” perspective of India for a week, we had insanely popular US talk show host Glenn Beck (who unfortunately calls him GB) on the cable news channel Fox News saying that India does not have flush toilets, their doctors graduate from their less-than-reputable institutes and that Ganges sounds to him like the name of a disease. [Link]

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The State Machine

Published on December 11, 2009 in Politics. 60 Comments

With KCR’s hunger-strike splitting a state born of yet another hunger-strike in a bizzare demonstration of history recursing itself, the floodgates have opened for every selfless politician in every nook and cranny of India to step up their demands for their personal fiefdoms.

Including myself.

I realized a long time ago that there is no way I can become the Chief Minister of West Bengal. Simply because I dont wear a dhoti, I think Groucho Marx is more profound than Karl Marx and most importantly—-I just dont have the time to rise up through the party hierarchy of cadres, being too busy nowdays playing Fallout 3. I also cannot take the opposition route to Chief Ministership as the opposition wont accept me since I do not sing jibanmukhi songs and I have never acted in a Tollywood movie. Even if they somehow did accept me, there is no way a certain person would ever let me have the position she has organized so many bandhs and stalled so much development for.

Which is why I seek to form a state consisting of the Ballygunj area in Kolkata, where being a “local boy” I think the money that I can make from “administering” the shopping districts and the new constructions would be enough to keep me and my future generations in a state of eternal financial solvency.

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Radio—The Review

Published on December 6, 2009 in Reviews. 65 Comments

Acharya Jagadish Bose sits in his lab with Sambhu, his old servant and assistant, standing nearby.

Sambhu: Babu, I never quite understood why you never patented your discovery of the radio and let Marconi take all the credit. Why Babu?

Acharya Bose [wry smile]: Well there are many things you do not know about me. Like this machine I have invented called a temperoscope that enables me to look into the future. And before you say anything, no I am not going to publish this anywhere nor even tell anyone about it.

Coming back to your question. Having looked into my temperoscope I have decided I dont really want future generations to know that I was responsible for the invention of the radio.

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The Tiger In The Woods

Published on December 4, 2009 in Sexuality and Sport. 25 Comments

The whole Tiger Woods incident with the car crash,  lacerations caused allegedly by his wife beating up with a golf club , the consequent confession and then reports of multiple “girl-friends” has shaken the world and seriously dented Tiger’s image as one of the most corporate-friendly sportsmen. While companies for whom he advertises have kept a studied silence, we got some exclusive pictures of certain other not-so-famous products that he has now started endorsing.

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