Random Thoughts Of a Demented Mind

Published on March 11, 2010 in India. 30 Comments

Being in India out of home-base posting has been infrequent. But that does not mean I dont have things to write about. So here in a post, I jot down everything I have been wanting to say for the last few weeks in more or less an unstructured way.

Maha Hope Rahul M, as a person and as a personality, is in no ways as entertaining as Rakhi Sawant. This explains why I didnt follow the program in the US as I had done for RS ki Swayamvar. However while sporadically watching the season finale , I finally became conscious of the show’s significance in the cosmic scheme of things. As comely lasses danced in choreographed fashion to “Kabse aayi hai teri dulhe raja” type songs in a manner that could not be any more “reality” trying  desperately to be the choice of a man with a liking for the “Coke side of life” once discovered alongside a dead family confidante , hailing from a family that has more skeletons in their cupboard than that would be found under the fields of Panipat, and with a, to put it politely, a dodgy history with women I came to the realization that this is not, as some feel, a new low in Indian TV history. On the contrary, this was a Coelhian message of hope and inspiration, at the same level of surreality as Jackie Shroff’s exhortation to use “Musli power” , directed at people with less-than-perfect line items in their marital resumes (like use of controlled substances, wife having “accidents riding his bike“) who despair of ensnaring a living female for the rest of their miserable lives.

Yes you can.

All you need is to get a reality show, preferably titled “Villainiya Dulhaniya Le Jayenge”. And then even a Dumpy you can have a Dimpy.

Swami Ever-Happy In the prescient movie “Teesri Aankh” Sunny Deol, who is known for exercising all muscles and glands except the lachrymal one, distraught at the proliferation of hidden cameras tearfully said “Kahaan chupayenge humare ma behenon ko?” Forget ma and behen, even our holy folk are no longer safe from the malignancy of extreme zooms. I mean here is this man, who had treated a disciple for her “wheezing problems” ( a side-effect of asthma where people find difficulty in blowing) , being given some seva (English translation: being serviced) in return for being cured (“Being true devotee, I offered my services like feeding and massaging him regularly in his room”) and this pesky camera just had to insert its telephoto lens inside this intensely spiritual bonding and give it a naughty subtext. I think Swami Every-Happy and ace politician Randy Tricycle should both do something about this menace, having fallen victims themselves in the last few months. On the subject of massages and other exercises that cause wheezing, here is a picture I took in the course of my travels in CR Park.

Sex Baba: Move over Desi Baba. The real deal is here. What I particularly liked about this fine soul is this line, in the best tradition of the Uncertainty principle: [Link] “I am 99% innocent.” , a refreshing change from the “I am 100% innocent” disingenuity one is used to hearing. Note to self: Next time wife catches me checking someone out I shall say “I am 99% innocent”. I suggest you do too.

Pakistan ban: An angry Pakistan board decided to unleash their khunnas on every major Pakistani player, an action as likely to be taken back as a Mamata Banerjee resignation. Last heard, administrative sanction was taken retro-actively by sending Inzamam to Oxford to do his PhD in post-modern literary criticism.No not to punish Inzi but to punish the British.

Book Update: Doing very well.

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