Archive for the 'Sexuality' Category

Page 3 of 3

Chal Thai-ya Thai-ya

Published on December 1, 2006 in Politics and Sexuality. 29 Comments

It’s tough being a MLA in Bihar.

While members of most state legislative assemblies engage in mutual kung-fu fighting, the MLAs of Bihar are a different breed altogether, ceaselessly toiling and travelling with nary a thought for their individual gratification, gathering information and gainfully spending tax money on constructive causes.

Consider the case of this mammoth contingent of Bihari MLAs who were sent by Bihar CM Nitish Kumar on an all-expense-paid 10-day “study tour” of Thailand to investigate ways and means to control AIDs. After all, for one of the poorest states in India, what could be a better use of money than to send 15 MLAs to Thailand—-a lesser leader would have spent that money on providing better facilities to health officials inside the state. But not Nitish. He knows that when you send a group of 15 Bihari MLAs into a den of prostitutes, seminal ideas come spurting out.

Well at least the seminal part is guaranteed.

Continue reading ‘Chal Thai-ya Thai-ya’

Kabhi Aage Kabhi Peeche—the Review

Published on August 22, 2006 in Mithunda and Sexuality. 114 Comments

[Warning: Long post]

Taran Adarsh, India’s greatest movie reviewer EVER fires a salvo at those whom he dubs “pseudo journos with zero knowledge of film-making and business”.

Which I think includes me.(blogger=pseudo-journo)

Now KABHI ALVIDA NAA KEHNA faces the flak. So what’s new? Nothing. It’s the same old story. The moment a big film hits the screens, a section of the film industry [also include some pseudo journos with zero knowledge of film-making and business] has a constipated look on their faces. Text messages degrading the film fly left, right and centre. ‘It wouldn’t sustain beyond Friday’, ‘Bakwas hain’, ‘The director has lost it’, ‘Paisa kamaya, par reputation khatam’ Haven’t we heard all this and more [the nastiest of talk] before? Let’s not forget, a tree which bears fruits is always stoned. Jo hain naamwala, wohi to badnaam hain.

Indeed. He exhorts:

Why are we so skeptical when it comes to embracing bold themes? Why should Hindi cinema be confined to those three/four stories that are as old as the hills? Why shouldn’t we welcome changes?

So here’s a pseudo-journo’s challenge to Mr. Adarsh. I am going to review KABHI AAGE KAABHI PEECHE — a movie which only I have seen as of yet and which will be released to the general public during Deewali. I am going to try to review it using a style heavily internalized from the great Mr. Adarsh. (Kindly refer here for the gold standard).

The question is: ” Can there be a “bolder” movie than the one below? Are the Indian audiences mature enough for this?”

Read on. And try to find the answers.

Continue reading ‘Kabhi Aage Kabhi Peeche—the Review’

Ek Se Bhale Do, Do Se Bhale Teen

Published on August 1, 2006 in Bollywood, India and Sexuality. 108 Comments

Who would have thought that behind the exquisite voice and the plump, “Bholi si surat” looks hides a playboy polygamist ?

Yes, I am talking about Udit Narayan who will now share his home and hearth with two ladies: his “pehla nesha” Ranjana Jha and “pehla nesha once again ” Deepa Narayan.

“Garam Dharam” having two wives– I understand.

Boney Kapoor– a little tough to believe. Especially when the second wife is Sridevi.

But Udit Narayan? And two wives?

I never saw that coming.

Just like I could never have guessed from his cheerleader moves that Lance Bass of N’Sync was gay. Or that Mel Gibson, the director of “The Passion of the Christ” is a raving anti-Semite.

Continue reading ‘Ek Se Bhale Do, Do Se Bhale Teen’

Inner Chambers of Ritu-Porno

Published on July 26, 2006 in Comedy and Sexuality. 73 Comments

As the opening credits of “Antarmahal” (Views of the Inner Chamber) fade away and the sound of a creaking bed assails the ears, the viewer discerns, in the semi-darkness, Jaggu-dada (Jackie Shroff not Jagmohan Dalmiya), the Bengali zamindar, motoring away romantically like an oil drill while below the supine figure of Soha Ali Khan (playing the Bengali zamindar’s second wife) lies still, impervious to his copulatory charms.

And then the zamindar burps. And seeks to excuse himself by saying that the “papad” he had for dinner must have been fried in bad oil. And keeps on sawing away.

Oh what a wonderful sex life Bengalis had. The operative word is “had”—things are obviously quite different now in the Bong bedroom.

Namely that there is no second wife.

Whether 19th century Bengal had the best of times or the worst of times we know not, but if we are to trust Rituporno Ghosh’s “Antarmahal” (a sex-ed up adaptation of Tarashankar’s “Protima” ) it surely was the most debauched of times.

Continue reading ‘Inner Chambers of Ritu-Porno’