Archive for the 'Silly' Category

Page 2 of 18

Walking With The Men In Blue

Published on April 7, 2011 in Cricket and Silly. 240 Comments

I was expecting an article from my favorite Goddess of Overbloated Things, Ms. Roy on India’s triumph in the World Cup. Since I presume she has not written one yet, let me write it for her. This is *a parody* and does not purport to be written by Ms. Roy. It is also considerably shorter than her 25-page rantings.

——–

Rudyard Kipling, that endearing old-world colonialist, once called cricket a game of  “flanneled fools”. They don’t wear flannels any longer though, favoring tacky, garish uniforms made glossy by shining droplets of sweat from the foreheads of those who made them, in Mexico or closer home in Dhaka. What still remains are fools, namely those who believe they are watching a gentle competition between bat and ball and not a few hours of vacuous manufactured reality, whose raison d’etre is to serve as an orgiastic assertion of  India’s overwhelmingly Hindu middle class’s hyper-nationalistic vanity.

Continue reading ‘Walking With The Men In Blue’

Kya Sarah Sarah

Published on February 25, 2011 in Silly. 33 Comments

Sarah Palin:  I am so glad to be in India meeting all of you newspaper-dudes. Thanks first of all to the India Today group for ponying up USD 100K for my speaker fees and for footing the bill for the 7 star treatment. It is truly a great testament to the intellectual riches available in your country that you had to invite good ole soccer mum me.

I am truly honored to be at a place where luminaries like General Musharaff have spoken before.

(Turning to her aide: “Was he the guy who tried to hit on me?” Whispering aide: No madam, that was another Pakistani– Zardari. Palin: Wait, who is that? Aide [giving up in exasperation]: Yes sorry, forget what I said—it was the same guy.)

Continue reading ‘Kya Sarah Sarah’

Causology

Published on January 14, 2011 in Silly. 32 Comments

So all of a sudden, all our Zodiac signs have changed. So, all you Scorpios, proud of being dangerous and sexy, guess what. You were as bland as a Libra. As astrology-conscious people realize that perhaps their  “Hum baane tum baane ek dujje ke liye” was based on wrong facts and that the stars may not be as reliable as they thought they were , many are offended and puzzled. So we asked several people as to who they think is behind this sinister attempt to break up marriages, who it is that had fundamentally changed our astral identities.

Diggy: It was the RSS. Why just now Linda Goodman called me and said..What you don’t believe me? Records? You mean you want my sun-charts? I have them. You mean her call-records? Wait give me a few days, need to make them up…..

Rediff Commentator 1: PORKI.

Rediff Commentator 2: North-Indians.

Rediff Commentator 3: This comment is awaiting moderator approval.

Continue reading ‘Causology’

Oh The Humanity !

Published on December 28, 2010 in Silly. 43 Comments

If this year hasnt been depressing enough with corruption in every branch of the government, the final pin-prick on the boil is the news that Karan Johar is going to re-make Agneepath. I get it. Since mainstream Bollywood has evidently run out of ideas, they have now taken to recycling old hits. Now I didn’t so much mind when they took “Jab Jab Phool Khile” and made it into the equally mushy Raja Hindustani but, especially after what happened to Sholay, can we please keep classics like “Agneepath” out of the clutches of today’s mainstream directors? Especially a movie like Agneepath, a testosterone-driven celluloid epic for real men (the kind who kept their chest-hair un-shaved and didn’t do their eyebrows in a beauty parlor) from directors like Karan Johar? Forgive me for being paranoid, but I am just afraid that his re-imagination of Agneepath will be the cinematic equivalent of taking an AK47,  painting it pink and inserting a red rose in its muzzle.

Continue reading ‘Oh The Humanity !’

Raktha Hoon Main Khulla

Published on December 1, 2010 in Silly. 69 Comments

[This post is a contextual one, relevant only in the light of recent events]

Welcome to Handy TV–Din Raat Chalta Hai. This is Rukhi Sawant and we are here to speak about the recently aired Laundiya tapes in which Bhakti Kapoor was apparently recorded talking to an aspiring actress in his hotel room. We also speak in general about casting ethics.

This program is totally unedited, just like the Assmit-Ria MMS. We at Handy-TV are known never to involve ourselves in cover-ups.

Our panel consists of eminent personalities Shining Ahuja, and Prabhuji the editor of “Rakhta Hoon Main Khulla” magazine which first carried the transcripts of the Laundiya Tapes. And of course Mr. Bhakti Kapoor. Our show is being taped right in his living room and carried to you live.

First we will play the video tape.

Continue reading ‘Raktha Hoon Main Khulla’