The Rocks That I Got

Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got,
I am still the MP for your block,
Used to have a little now I have a lot
—-JLo ( modified) [Jenny From the Block]

Our politicians are goin gangsta ! And a good thing yo cause frankly I am sick and tired of us being portrayed as devious and cowardly people by the Pakistanis. I am through with Indian citizens falsely accused of spying and being put on deathrow in “Terrorist’s Own Country—Pakistan”. And of our politicos talking about world peace and world hunger and neighborly love when we are surrounded by countries that wanna smack our bitch up. I say its time we got medieval on their sorry asses.

The reason I am saying this is because our dudes in the government have taken the first step in becoming gangsta rap artists by pimping their ride—getting transportation that would make the eyes of the most notorious P.I.M.Ps stand out in their sockets. Move over JayZ…..Jay B (Jyoti Basu, the eternal wannabe) is in da house.

Have you looked at the pimpy interiors of the pleasure pads that our Man ManMohan and the “Wild Bull Avul” will be flying around in ? 5 of them ! At $25 mils a throw. This will surely impress da ladies.

Press conferences? Policy decisions? No way——this place is for partyin. Kick the crusty white-shirted IASs out—get me some video vixens. Cause this shit comes equipped—–a full-breadth lavatory for the fat-ass politicians to get the party “private”. For the bolder Slim Shadys there is the plush divan.

New Rule 1: The next time Musharraf says that there is no cross-border infiltration, PM will go upto him, posse in tow, shake his hand in Mush’s sorry face and say, sarcastically,:

“Fo Shizzle Ma nizzle”

New Rule 2: Uma Bharati, our own Missy Elliot who spends Rs 98,000 for a single day of “taxi rides” , will use this plane as the setting for the raunchy new video of her song “Ek Dhakka Aur Do ” (Give me one more push)—-that brought the country to riot not so long ago.

New Rule 3: BJ stands for Bharatiya Janata. So when they say that there is BJ Party in the government jet, you know that Vajpayee has become the PM again.

New Rule 4: Sessions of Parliament open to the music of “Who Let the Dogs Out”

New Rule 5: Dev Anand is officially anointed the Nostradamus of this century for coming out with a movie in which the PM of India is a rap star—-of course he plays the PM.

New Rule 6: Indians without food/clothing/shelter can kiss ma ass. A fleet of $25 million luxury planes for our rulers is exactly what we need now.