So anonymous commenters, those who call me Oxymoron and advise that I drop the “Great” part from my moniker, you think that you can continue heaping abuse on me/Ganguly and get away with it ? Of course you do. Sitting behind your desks at the “Software Technology Parks of India” (this is where most of the abusive comments come from ) or whatever you think you can keep on defecating in my comments section without any repercussions? After all whats a fat, geeky, timid Bong going to do even if he finds out who you are or where you are from?
All I can say is be afraid. Be very afraid. And remember *if* one day a man wearing a trench coat, a helmet, battle fatigues, two guns, body armour, 1000 rounds of ammunition and a pasted wig lands up at your door, drop whatever you are doing and run. Very fast.
Let me tell you a story. A story of a man called Biswanath Halder, an expatriate Bengali in US and an MBA from Case Western University. Now this man is your average Joe Bengali guy who boasted of mastery in business and mathematics but had a record of repeated rejections (Digital Equipment Corporation refused to give him a job 26 times) and never had a girl friend because according to him he was short of money. In short, the same old story.
He used to run a website for Indian businessmen which he believed someone was trying to hack into. What was fairly obvious was that someone was leaving nasty comments on his guestbook:
[His guestbook which has now messages from white supremacists and people asking for his organs after he dies is here]
Here is what the original Anon wrote—the lines which pushed Biswanath over the proverbial edge:
Bizzy Halder is a moron. This guy makes a living out of creeping people out. From his fake hair, to his fake teeth, his whitey tighty shorts and pants, to his shit stained sweaters this guy is a LOON. He’s been kicked out of every lab on campus and everyone makes fun of him. So let’s not even talk about credibility. Don’t listen to a word this guy says.
Now what this “anonymous commenter” did not know that leaving abusive comments on a Bengali guy’s webspace is like biting the balls of a sleeping lion. Halder using his superior zen traceroute capabilities found out that it was some dude from the Case Western University who was violating his mindspace. After appeals to the university to take action fell on deaf ears (including a dismissed lawsuit), Halder decided to take the matter into his own hands.
Now before we go further on let me tell you Halder, like most Bengalis, had extensive military training (or that’s what he claimed on his resume hosted at the now defunct website halder.ws and at junior.apk.net/~halder/ ) and engineering/real estate expertise. It was rumored that he was once a rogue assassin of the disbanded ultra-secret killing squad called Hilsa Force but that has never been confirmed. What however was true was that pushed to the brink he did what any anti-Iraqwar peacenik would have done—he took up arms.
Marching into Case Western University armed to the teeth with the expressed aim being to “liquidate the university in order to save mankind” (his own words), Biswanath Halder meant business. In a scene inspired from the Bengali movie “Matric” (shortform for Matriculation) featuring “Kanu” Ribs and Lawrence “Fishbone”, Biswanath wearing a bulletproof vest and a wig glued on “a kind of World War II Army helmet” walked through the corridors of learning in super slow motion—brandishing two handguns.
As Biswanath’s defense lawyers argued, despite sporting two guns and a wig and having a wish to save mankind by liquidating Case Western, Bishwanath was not really looking for a fight—he just wanted to protest and negotiate with the university from a position of strength ( a lesson he imbibed from the MBA the same institute granted him). And come on, I am sure all of us at some point of his life or the other has wanted to go into his degree-granting institute brandishing deadly firearms—so nothing wrong in living out that fantasy.
But what was supposed to be a rage-inspired protest against anonymous abusive comments soon turned ugly. He lost his eyeglasses in the confusion. Now what people do not know is that for a Bong to lose his specs is as traumatic a personal experience as a Gujju losing his wallet. Panicking he started shooting (whether he said “Say Hallo to my choto bondhu” [Author’s note: choto bondhu is Bengali for “lil’ friend”] was never conclusively proven)— killing one person, pumping bullets into the buttocks of another innocent bystander and grievously injuring yet another.
A fullscale shootout with the SWAT team ensued with the supremely skilled Biswanath holding of America’s finest using guerilla tactics he acquired in the training camps of Baruipur (a suburb of Kolkata). But ultimately, after taking a bullet himself Biswanath was subdued, arrested and charged under GWB’s new stringent anti-terrorism laws for waging war against USA. (A charge that was subsequently downgraded to murder).
Now Biswanath waits to be sentenced—either to life imprisonment or to death. Lives have been lost and dreams have been broken.
And all this because of anonymous personal comments.
Better be careful dear sirs/madams—some of us bloggers/netizens don’t take personal criticism all that well.
[Note: It may be argued that the original comment-perpetrator got away but that was just because Biswanath lost his specs and could not see who he was shooting. If he had glued the specs together to his helmet (like he did with his wig) and then gone out of control, things may have been different]