Anon Commenters Beware

So anonymous commenters, those who call me Oxymoron and advise that I drop the “Great” part from my moniker, you think that you can continue heaping abuse on me/Ganguly and get away with it ? Of course you do. Sitting behind your desks at the “Software Technology Parks of India” (this is where most of the abusive comments come from ) or whatever you think you can keep on defecating in my comments section without any repercussions? After all whats a fat, geeky, timid Bong going to do even if he finds out who you are or where you are from?

All I can say is be afraid. Be very afraid. And remember *if* one day a man wearing a trench coat, a helmet, battle fatigues, two guns, body armour, 1000 rounds of ammunition and a pasted wig lands up at your door, drop whatever you are doing and run. Very fast.

Let me tell you a story. A story of a man called Biswanath Halder, an expatriate Bengali in US and an MBA from Case Western University. Now this man is your average Joe Bengali guy who boasted of mastery in business and mathematics bizzybut had a record of repeated rejections (Digital Equipment Corporation refused to give him a job 26 times) and never had a girl friend because according to him he was short of money. In short, the same old story.

He used to run a website for Indian businessmen which he believed someone was trying to hack into. What was fairly obvious was that someone was leaving nasty comments on his guestbook:
[His guestbook which has now messages from white supremacists and people asking for his organs after he dies is here]

Here is what the original Anon wrote—the lines which pushed Biswanath over the proverbial edge:

Bizzy Halder is a moron. This guy makes a living out of creeping people out. From his fake hair, to his fake teeth, his whitey tighty shorts and pants, to his shit stained sweaters this guy is a LOON. He’s been kicked out of every lab on campus and everyone makes fun of him. So let’s not even talk about credibility. Don’t listen to a word this guy says.

Now what this “anonymous commenter” did not know that leaving abusive comments on a Bengali guy’s webspace is like biting the balls of a sleeping lion. Halder using his superior zen traceroute capabilities found out that it was some dude from the Case Western University who was violating his mindspace. After appeals to the university to take action fell on deaf ears (including a dismissed lawsuit), Halder decided to take the matter into his own hands.

Now before we go further on let me tell you Halder, like most Bengalis, had extensive military training (or that’s what he claimed on his resume hosted at the now defunct website and at ) and engineering/real estate expertise. It was rumored that he was once a rogue assassin of the disbanded ultra-secret killing squad called Hilsa Force but that has never been confirmed. What however was true was that pushed to the brink he did what any anti-Iraqwar peacenik would have done—he took up arms.

Marching into Case Western University armed to the teeth with the expressed aim being to “liquidate the university in order to save mankind” (his own words), Biswanath Halder meant business. In a scene inspired from the Bengali movie “Matric” (shortform for Matriculation) featuring “Kanu” Ribs and Lawrence “Fishbone”, Biswanath wearing a bulletproof vest and a wig glued on “a kind of World War II Army helmet” walked through the corridors of learning in super slow motion—brandishing two handguns.

As Biswanath’s defense lawyers argued, despite sporting two guns and a wig and having a wish to save mankind by liquidating Case Western, Bishwanath was not really looking for a fight—he just wanted to protest and negotiate with the university from a position of strength ( a lesson he imbibed from the MBA the same institute granted him). And come on, I am sure all of us at some point of his life or the other has wanted to go into his degree-granting institute brandishing deadly firearms—so nothing wrong in living out that fantasy.

But what was supposed to be a rage-inspired protest against anonymous abusive comments soon turned ugly. He lost his eyeglasses in the confusion. Now what people do not know is that for a Bong to lose his specs is as traumatic a personal experience as a Gujju losing his wallet. Panicking he started shooting (whether he said “Say Hallo to my choto bondhu” [Author’s note: choto bondhu is Bengali for “lil’ friend”] was never conclusively proven)— killing one person, pumping bullets into the buttocks of another innocent bystander and grievously injuring yet another.

A fullscale shootout with the SWAT team ensued with the supremely skilled Biswanath holding of America’s finest using guerilla tactics he acquired in the training camps of Baruipur (a suburb of Kolkata). But ultimately, after taking a bullet himself Biswanath was subdued, arrested and charged under GWB’s new stringent anti-terrorism laws for waging war against USA. (A charge that was subsequently downgraded to murder).

Now Biswanath waits to be sentenced—either to life imprisonment or to death. Lives have been lost and dreams have been broken.

And all this because of anonymous personal comments.

Better be careful dear sirs/madams—some of us bloggers/netizens don’t take personal criticism all that well.

[Note: It may be argued that the original comment-perpetrator got away but that was just because Biswanath lost his specs and could not see who he was shooting. If he had glued the specs together to his helmet (like he did with his wig) and then gone out of control, things may have been different]

40 thoughts on “Anon Commenters Beware

  1. My (rather belated) new year resolution after reading this post – never to leave an anonymous post on any blog. Especially I don’t visualize myself “biting the balls of a sleeping lion”..err..Royal Bengal Tiger
    [ that’s you in case you did not get the point 🙂 ]

  2. Your blogs rock. This one was amazing. Chilling, sad and yet funny.

  3. Hi Greatbong
    This story from Sepia Mutiny is sad. The fellow was a bit odd but some idiot destroyed all of his computer files from years ago and he snapped. It was really tragic. But I cannot condone what he did. I understand but not condone.

    What are you complaining about though? Most of your commenters idolize you! Hey, you’re not “Greatbong” for nothing.

  4. @Ananda: Yes I did get the point. :-)….a good resolution too. Just tell me how long it took to break it.

    @Udita: Thank you…your last name would not happen to be Goswami would it?

    @Michael: This man has told different stories at different times—sometimes its his “business plans” which have been wiped out, sometimes his machine is merely “hacked into”: it is obvious that he is mentally not there.

    As to my readers idolizing me, well —it could be pure fear you know. No one wants to be shot by a man with a glued-on wig.

    However you should check out my Ganguly posts—thats where people get nasty.

  5. I would like to apologize to Bipasha Basu for those anonymous comments on her blog enquiring about her phone number(the blog is closed now so I thought GB can pass on the message).

    I would like to apologize to Amir Kahn Bhai for leaving anon comments on his excellent blog calling him a hipocrite for wanting an Oscar badly while ignoring Filmfare awards.

    I would like to apologize to the IIPM’s blog army for calling them a bunch of jokers.

    P.S: I also apologize to Great Bong for leaving an anon comment(once, when I didn’t have a blogger account) and also for driving his blog share price low in the blogshares game.

    Sorry All

    P.S:I am sure all of us at some point of his life or the other has wanted to go into his degree-granting institute brandishing deadly firearms
    I think of it everyday.

  6. Anon commentators are funny – they usually lack the balls to stand up and say what they mean. Usually they are cowards IMHO LOL.

    BTW, anon comments also provide wholesome entertainment at times, and I think just for that they should be allowed hehehe 😀

    But yeah, I can understand anon commentators leaving good feedback or comments at times (but then, why would anyone want to speak good abt you and not leave their name behind, lest you forget them :D)

    Good one



  7. Oh!! Halder was from K-Pax too!?

  8. Hi Greatbong
    “However you should check out my Ganguly posts—thats where people get nasty.”
    It’s Dona – she’s still bitter about N.

  9. Hi GreatBong, I’ve been reading your blogs for a while and I enjoy reading them.

    Ummmm…coming to the point where Anon commentators are now sufficiently warned about their entry in the comments section, I would say, I would rather write a fictitious name and get away with it than face someone sporting a wig. You see, it serves two purposes. You will be happy that its not Anon and I’m grinning away to glory for putting down my opinions/comments, exactly the way I want it.

    GreatBong….GreatBong….what have u done…woken up all the Anons of the world….. :-))))

  10. All Bengalis are born warriors. Its true I tell you. All this poppycock about warriorlike Punjabis and Rajputs is all utter balderdash. Who helped the British conquer India, huh! It was the Bengal army. Where was the first shot fired in the mutiny? Barrackpur. Who fought the longest running insurgency agains the British? the Santhals. When all those cow belt wallahs were fawning over non violence who picked up guns and liberated a few strategic hills in Manipur? Bose. Why was Pakistan broken into tow? The Bengalis revolted (though Bhutto heard it as the Bengalis were revolting:) ) Where do naxalites get their name from? Naxalbari. What is Mamata Banerjee’s home state? Bengal.

    Res Ipsa Loqitor. I rest my case.

    “Now what people do not know is that for a Bong to lose his specs is as traumatic a personal experience as a Gujju losing his wallet.”

    Hahahhaha. You continue to rock!

  11. We bongs are not bad with knives either.

    Nikhil wears specs too. The report does not say he lost it during the scuffle, but we can safely assume so.

  12. u calling urself gr8bong actually saves me the bother of confering ‘great’ on u every time i read ur post. [ except for the cricket ones that i dont understand ] the last time that i laughed hard and often was 13 yrs back ie before the marriage ]just to prove how scared i am of the wig, specs et al am leaving my name- varsha

  13. Brilliant as always 🙂
    and very tactical too.

  14. Ha ha Boss..what a superb post. But Ill tell you..comments enabled (as it should unless you are an asshole) will invite anonymous comments. As Supremus rightly points out, anons who abuse are generally cowards..nothing wrong in using anon though.

    But I agree ..some anons went way over the mark in Ganguly posts…and one or two were exceptionally racial…like Indian and another Indian…waiting for them to return.

    Pick of this post: In a scene inspired from the Bengali movie “Matric” (shortform for Matriculation) featuring “Kanu” Ribs and Lawrence “Fishbone”….Awesomeeee.:)))

    PS. Im not a psychologist but if had to put my money on who the next Vishy Halder would be, I would bet on A (yes you, I and yourfan know who this A is..:))))…we once had a big fight with him..I was about to go the Supreme court then..:))…I read his blog..he seems frustrated and forlorn …just like BH.

  15. @GreatBong:I know if someone says the same thing over and over again it becomes boring or lose weight, yet I am repeating again: YOU ARE JUST FANTASTIC. How on earth you come up with lines like “Now what people do not know is that for a Bong to lose his specs is as traumatic a personal experience as a Gujju losing his wallet.”? How long does it take to come up with line like this?

    @yourfan2: Definitely I remember the abusing personal comments made by certain annons. As far I am concerned, whether one uses anon or a pseudonym for sending a comment does not make a difference. It also does not make a difference whether someone’s opinion is accepted by others or rejected. What certainly matters the most is use of abusive languages and personal hatred under anonymity or pseudonym. I can’t understand why some people think that it is their business to change other people’s opinion and if they fail, they become hostile and abusive – why can’t they accept that there is something called ‘difference of opinion’ which makes the world so interesting and attractive.

    I don’t bother to read his/their blog/blogs because I don’t like vindictive people and I also think it will give him/them at least a little bit of satisfaction that someone who can’t stand him/them is caring enough to read his/their blog. According to you ‘he seems frustrated and forlorn’ – he should be because of his behavior.

    In one of my previous comment for all who like most of GB’s posts(I think on “A few Phone Calls”) (which it seems you missed) I suggested that Indibloggies should have a separate category for humorous/satirical blog. We should write to them. What say you? What say others?

  16. Brahthar, theesh eej jaasht phan-tash-teek. Deed yu noteesh, how hweeth good body-beeldeeng, ebhen Haldar’sh jaw-line looksh like Arnawld een Taarmeenetaar?

    Jaago Bangali, hwee can OL be hiroj! (Eep hwee shteek our glashesh on hweeth glue)


  17. Ok, i give up. I won’t sign in anonymous again.

    (i’m scared..bitting my nails)

  18. @yourfan:
    You said “In one of my previous comment for all who like most of GB’s posts(I think on “A few Phone Calls”) (which it seems you missed) I suggested that Indibloggies should have a separate category for humorous/satirical blog. We should write to them. What say you? What say others?”

    Of course. Not only humour, but best looking Indian blogger, Best blog dealing with Bollywood issues, most couragous blogger (comments and taking abusive comments in stride), most involved blog….the list goes on.

    But frankly…let bygones be bygones. Dont read too much into indibloggies. As I have said earlier the sample size was too small for an y conclusive judgement. Plus how would it have mattered if GB would have finished last in the poll- to you and me he would have remained The Best Indian blogger…the poll was more like a pop quiz with candies for the toppers. But the latent talent, the sheer brillance of prose, the sheer wit coming through like sunshine through the dark clouds, humour of all colours and many many more qualities which continue to enchant us from post to post, month to month, old year to new year are all pointers to one thing- we are witness to a genius at work. GB I feel is blogging at a different level now , like say Sachin’s batting in 1998. May his form turn out to be Bradmanesque.

  19. Hey Greatbong !!!
    This was awesome stuff, man !!!
    How do you come up with such brlliant one-liners and wonderful ways of representation? At times you make me feel jealous of you, mate. Hope and Pray these “Random Thoughts Of A Demented Mind ” keeps us glued to your posts. Great Stuff, man!!! Absolutely wonderful.
    In a more serious note, no doubt what Biswanath Halder did was by no means acceptable in any civilized society but shouldn’t we at least think once what might have prompted him to do that? he landed up in the U.S in 1969 and ever since he had been a loser. May be he wasn’t but everyone around him made him think he was. He himself too is responsible for this to a large extent but again a man who has had no family, no friend, no constructive work to do for more than 35 years is bound to lack in emotions, sentiments and feelings for other human beings. He had ben struggling to get some sort of recognition for his hard work all these years but in the end he couldn’t hold on to his patience and took his grievance and frustration out on others. Whatever he did can never be supported but we have to understand that whatever he had to be through all his life mush have propted him to become like this. When he landed up in the US he too had very high expectations from himself and lofty ambitions like any young Indian going there in search of a better career. Due to several factors he couldn’t meet the standards he had set for himself and fell well helow his own expectations and may be that’s why at the age of 65 he regrets “not having a girlfriend as he didn’t have money”. This is how an average young guy can turn into a monster when everything starts going against him and this goes on for years and decades.

    Anyways, very good representation of the whole incident in the typically inimitable “Greatbong” style by Arnab. Kudos 🙂

  20. Funny as usual ! From the title of the post I thought you were going to talk about good old Uncle Sam trying to make anonymous comments illegal

  21. Even if I don’t want to post anonymous comments but just want to be an innocent bystander I can’t, as some angry Bong will come along and pump bullets into my buttocks! I am damned.

  22. Oops!! I am sorry, really sorry!
    I didnt ever think you would track me down! Think about my biwi and soon to be anaath bacche!
    Meri yeh galti maaf kar do GB mujhe tum ………

  23. Dada,

    I am new to your blog and have got hooked up to it. Your writings are good and its fun to read.

    good luck,

  24. Whew what a ride! Explains the fan following.

  25. Slightly tragic but funny post !!

  26. I am curious exactly what position this Halder guy held at Case Western for all these years, despite what seem to be long known indications that he had psychological problems. Any information?

    In Summer 2004, I happened to visit Cleveland, including the Case Western University Management School where Halder’s shooting rampage took place – the Peter B. Lewis building that is supposed to be a modern architectural design marvel.. personally, I think it looks like it was largely built with recycled aluminum cans.. here is another view and here is the entire gallery. I found it to be none too impressive from the inside either – it might have been tough for a disturbed man to negotiate the maze while banging his head on protruding overhangs.

    My theory is that first not getting a job after an MBA from this school and then having to undergo the trauma of spending his life in that tin can of a building is what drove him crazy – the anon comment merely served to drive him over the edge.

  27. Your topic selections are incredible. If I were the editor of Telegraph, I would have let you do a weekly editorial and then sit back and laugh all the way to the bank.
    See,I love Dave Barry’s style of writing/humor and you are getting there, buddy. Keep it up.

  28. @Anil: (reaching for my gun)—Yeah tell me what’s that about…why are you driving down my share prices like this? What have I done for you to launch such an attack? Incidentally, I have no idea how blogshares works or what an artefact is.

    @Supremus: Well there are so many anons here who leave good comments—maybe its because reading RTDM is a guilty pleasure. And some people really zealously guard their online anonymity.

    @Anon1: Yes but he sure does not look like Kevin Spacey does he?

    @Michael: It might be.

    @Aditya: I would prefer the Anons to sleep..unless they are writing nice things about me.

    @Red: Bengalis are warriors only when their passions are sufficiently inflammed. Which is why Bengal was one of the centers of the revolutionary violent movement against the British.

    @Dipanjan: Oh yes I totally forgot about this incident—the knifing of a teacher. Gawd…talk about being grades obsessed.

    @Varsha: You laughed this hard 13 years ago before you were married? Does marriage dry up all the laughs? Wait I should not be asking you this question–I am married myself. But today being my marriage anniversary (my 4th !) I shall let that ball pass outside my offstump.

    @Voice Within: Thank you…

    @yourfan2: Mmm maybe you should tell me about this on mail—this A thing.

    @yourfan: Thank you thank you as always. Now with respect to Best Comedy Blog I think its a good idea. But *if* there is a category for Best Indian Blog I would prefer to compete in it rather than in a selective “Comedy Blog”.
    The reasons are:

    1. RTDM isnt merely a comedy blog. I want to (maybe I dont do it enough) cover serious topics in a serious way. Yes humor is a big part of it—but it should not be the *only* facet of RTDM.

    2. The idea of a “Comedy” category makes sense only if the Best Indiblog category is broken down into themes (which might not be a bad idea—because more blogs will get nominated and consequently get exposure). However keeping the “Best Indiblog” category and then adding a “Comedy” category kind of means that a comic blog isnt really in contention for the Blog of the Year. I am not sure I like that. (As an aside I prefer the Oscar model of awards to the Golden Globes—which may explain partially why one is vastly more popular than the other)

    And in response to an old comment, I accept that the scene is a bit Raymondish. Now as to whether gramma is motivated by self-interest in wrapping the shawl around grandpa—hmm. Maybe. Or it may just be love. Of course love may be a faux emotion which is motivated by self interest. That deserves a post on its own.

    @JAP: I felt the same way too. Halder also has good shoulders too.

    @Mayank: Yes it is scary. You should be afraid.

    @yourfan2: Thank you again. Its very risky to play like Sachin in 98—the only way you can go is down from there. He was sublime then—that Sharjah knock was just something else.

    @Dev: You are right. Halder represents the American dream gone sour—a person transplanted from home living in an impersonal society through countless rejections (both job related as well as romantic—Halder refused to pose for photos because he considered himself to be ugly): enough to push a man over the edge. As Michael says: we cannot condone what he did but we understand.

    @Jatayu: I did not know about this. What an amazing coincidence? Will this like the son of Sam law be known as the Halder law? :-).

    @SD 🙂

    @Raj: Which is why you should spread the word and tell people at work—dont comment anononymously. You comment and I get an ass full of lead. Not fair.

    @Anonymouse: Maaf…Main tumhe saaf kar doonga (Golmaal)

    @Kisalay: Thank you

    @Inkblot: A ride indeed.

    @Arun: The tragedy is more than slight—in situations like this where a loon gunman shoots down innocent people—you feel sad for the victims and anger at the perpetrator. However this is one case where you can empathize with the shooter also—Bishwanath is just a sad, lonely man whose few moments of utter madness have left so many lives shattered.

    @Debashish: In one of the articles, it was mentioned that the SWAT team found it difficult to subdue Halder because of the design of the building. In case you want to see really bad buildings do visit Stonybrook. JAP can back me on that.

    @Anon: Thank you…I wish you were the editor of Telegraph too.

  29. Arnab, there is one angle that no one is questioning. Its just a tad bit awkward. Its just something jutting out. Something that doesnt fit. Yet its getting overlooked by everyone – even the prosecutors. I blogged on it today. For the sake of repetition I’m not writing it here again.

  30. i just saw a promo in a bengali cable channel yesterday – Mithun is coming to the small screen in some bengali serial …
    you should do something about this … and the fact that his son’s movie will be released later this year 🙂

  31. Yap, Mithun is coming to the snall screen in the avatar of anchor of a music contest on Zee Bangla christened ‘Golden Voice’… with the success of Indian Idol everyone is following suit.

    I am also plagued by nasty slangs on my blog which I had to delete. After reading this post, I have replaced my specs with contact lenses. 😀

  32. As usual, damn good!

    The Bengali loosing his specs/Gujju loosing his wallet cracked me up. 😀

    This Halder story is quite sad, though…

  33. Felt real bad after reading this..
    Its really sad to see a life going waste…

    and dont know why some ppl post such acidic comments on some other ppl’s blogs..If u have a problem with the person’s opinions, mail him or try to reason with him..But this practice of hate posts should stop..

    Maybe sanity will prevail..For now, my mood is quite sombre!

  34. when will anonymous posters, forum gnomes and general cyber miscreants learn to use untraceable proxy servers?
    Seriously people… Not that hard… ask me how…
    You want to commit cyber rape… atleast where a condom

  35. Marching into Case Western University armed to the teeth with the expressed aim being to “liquidate the university in order to save mankind” (his own words), Biswanath Halder meant business. In a scene inspired from the Bengali movie “Matric” (shortform for Matriculation) featuring “Kanu” Ribs and Lawrence “Fishbone”, Biswanath wearing a bulletproof vest and a wig glued on “a kind of World War II Army helmet” walked through the corridors of learning in super slow motion—brandishing two handguns.

    Where do these stuff come to you from man?? rockin… btw i hope that shooting a man for anonymous comments wasnt true. if it was, couldnt get more stupid than that.

  36. Deadly one Mr Bong!

    Been following ur blog from that rocking Parnab “Beautiful Mind” post days! Am a fellow Parnab victim and a fellow blogger who dabbles in humour too.Do check out my blog sometime 😉

    Btw hey what say, u make a movie on this with Mithunda as Bizzy Haldar?Sure u’ll have him mouth the Mithunda dialogues before he loses his glasses


    (On a more sober note; i do feel a bit sad for this guy Haldar.; being lonely, desperate and laughed at in an alien land )

  37. cool!!!!!i’ve become a fan . and did i tell u that ur blog is now in the list of my favourite blogs

  38. Pingback: Fioricet.
  39. Another fucked up bOngOli rant

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