I Am Basically A Party Man
A K Antony, who took over as the Defence Minister, on Wednesday insisted he is “basically a party man”.
Yes Anthony Gonzalves, the original Party man, has returned. Moving into the same Kholi No 420 that used to be frequented by his predecessors like George Fernandes in the Defense Secretariat (now renamed Roop Mahal in anticipation of a ‘tension naheen lene ka’ future as perceived by our Foreign Minister, Pronob Mukherjee), Mr. Anthony, an experienced hand in walking the Prem Galis of power will now be seen at important occasions, popping out of an egg, poking important men in the ass with his umbrella and then delivering speeches like:
you see the whole country of the system is juxtapositioned by the haemoglobin in the atmosphere, because you are a sophisticated rhetoration intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity….
[For those without the faintest idea of what is being talked about here, here, for your reference, are the lyrics of My Name is Antony Gonzalves from the movie ‘Amar Akbar Antony” where Antony Gonzalves emerges from an Easter Egg to seduce his lady-love Jenny.]
Angry at Anthony’s accession to power, Amar (Singh), India’s original party animal has started plotting, singing sincerely to Jayaylalitha : ” Dekh ke tumko dil dola hain, God promise, Hum Sach Bola Hain”.
Meanwhile Hurriyat leader and former Hizbul Mujahideen commander, Zafar Akbar Bhat joined his fellow freedom fighters on the streets protesting by clapping their hands and singing : “India government pyar ka dushmaan Hai Hai Hai”
Indeed, it seems that there is much truth to the lines:”Anhonee Ko Honi kar De, Honi Ko Anhonee, Ek Jaga Jab Jama Ho Teenon, Amar Akbar Antony”
Else how do you explain Times of India being awarded the World Young Reader prize in the Newspaper in Education category, with the award recognizing the TOI’s “effective use of newspaper as a teaching tool”.
And how do you even begin to provide a justification for why a site called http://www.desibabamovies.com (Link Not Work Safe–explicit pornography), offering Indian porn movie titles for paid downloads, advertises as a hardcore erotic flick: “Pather Panchali” which I believe, for the first time in world history, is being made to share the same HTML page as “Utaar Meri Choli” and, in a suspicious connection to the first news item, “Hot Picnic in Room 420” [Information correct as of today…I hope the site owners do realize their mistake as soon as possible]
[Acknowledgements: Megha for the Antony Gonzalves soliloquy]
The Greatbong Blog & Podcast 
TOI getting a journo award!!!
hic
TOI receives an award? Whoa!
Suyog
Good one… It looks like this is a Amar Akbar Anthony season. The other day I was thinking Jack Straw should be singing “Parda hai parda” song from the same Movie.
Speaking of Cabinet reshuffles, our new I & B Minister (ahem), Mr. Ambarish, an old Kannnada cinema veteran, will set new precedents which state you need not be that urbane to hold a portfolio such as the I&B Ministry.
At a launch of Ford Mondeo a few years ago, he suggested that the car be renamed as Ford Mandya in Karnataka -sic (Mandya being a district here and also his birthplace). Henry Ford turned in his grave.
Ergo, such ‘reshuffling’, need not necessarily bring the best card to the top of the deck and A. K. Antony is a shining example.
How ’bout giving Pran’s role in the muvi to Abu salem(now that he is gonna be a neta too)….Sadly, no songs for him though!!
oh I forgot…nd Nirupa Roy’s role to Monica bedi…..EVEN SHE can’t mess up this one….errr can she?
Actually Arnab, TOI has had a department called NIE (Newspapers in Education) for quite some time now, where they tie up several schools in a city and then send “resources” to conduct classes in various subjects, including, GK, Public Speaking, Debate, Craft etc. I was one such resource when I was doing my MA.
Of course it was a money making scheme because all the kids had to subscribe to the paper through the school! Captive, with no choice! It was okay pocket money then for me (Rs. 60-75 per class, if I recall correctly), but a marketing scheme nonetheless.
The award is probably because they were the only nominee in that area! Or the award was given by some TOI funded organization. They can do anything!
Dunno about the award but TOI in Delhi and Cal does, to my certain knowledge, go around bullocking children in schools into participating in ‘workshops’, and writing ‘articles’ and suchlike behaviour. I’ve seen the products of those workshops — even the children are bored by them! — and we have one of those article-writers in my family whose clippings are faithfully saved and passed around to be admired.
TOI has much to be pilloried for, I say.
Pather Panchali?!! Eep
More on desibabamovies:
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of course Panther Panchali.
why not?
after all, somebody must have plugged it ‘hot stuff, not even one of the dames wear a blouse’ and then go giggle, giggle.
ok, it WAS hot. it was a location shoot in the then village of boral. and as for no blouse, he deliberately left off the-plenty-of-sari, wound round-and-round with nary a waterfall in sight.
A long time ago, when I was young (4th-5th standard), the TOI group started a program called “Newspapers in education”. My school was one of the first schools to take that program up (this is really a long time ago……in the mid/late eighties). At the time, it was a good idea (i though), to get school kids to read newspapers. They even had some exciting contests and activities and quizzes which I loved.
Don’t know what has happened since then………..much has changed in the Times of India….from respected newspaper to classic tabloid….so I wont comment.
I had this NIE scheme in my school and trust me the only thing the students used to read eagerly was the the last page of the Delhi Times because it had some (:P:P:P:P) pictures of certain Ms Andresson .
Infact after a while when many schools complained to TOI about the supposedly obscene pictures they even had to stop distributing the Delhi Times with the NIE students edition paper.All this was about 7-8 years back I dunno what the scenario now though
really funny… sorry GB but this time I am laughing about the award, not your post. LOL
sorry for the comment again…. forgot to thank you for the link to desibabamovies. 🙂
@Jhantu and Suyog: The irony.
@Amit: Well said.
@Ali: And to think that old man Ford staunchy opposed the “model” concept (i.e. the need to come out with model versions each year) and got whipped by GM many many years ago.
@Gourav: Yes what a neta he will be. And Monica Bedi as a blind lady with 3 sons..
@Shan: Did you hear about the school which told its wards not to celebrate Diwali and to donate a few thousands for the school? Talking about captive markets.
@Sue: Hmm.
@Mou: I know !
@Bengali Guy: Subramanium—–is that the real name or just a front name which was chosen because it has “bra” and “man” in it?
@Swati: LOL. Indeed women without blouses.
@Sunil: Now they just sell editorial space.
@Clairovoyant: Ooh la la. Indeed that is contribution to a child’s education and emotional development—to see surgically enhanced breasts.
@Vivek: So are you subscribing?
for a second I misread that as ………A K Antony said he was basically a “party animal”.
Great stuff man !!
I believe you (and your fans) have gone a bit overboard this time Arnab. Instead of using invectives at the choice of the new defense minister, an article was probably more apt for why the change in cabinet. The fact remains that India has for some time following a foreign policy that is closely mimic-ing the US. The top political brass understands that this cannot continue, and the fact that the much touted nuclear deal could well fall through in the Congress. Nicholas Burns had visited India sometime back, simply to apprise the government of this matter. US has almost always followed a chamelion like foreign policy, but what works for it will not work for India.
By the way, if A.K.Anthony is so bad in defense, who would your choice be?
Well GB, I’m being a real crass lowlife here, but another possibility would be CHINDUM CHUDUM 🙂
Dear Gr8 Bong…..
All said and done,I do believe that AK Antony is one of the few good politicians around,A basic simpleton,One fault is that he quits at the slightest provocation.
Harping back on the NIE topic again, the scenario hasn’t changed much. Passed High School last year. We were still being made to subscribe to TOI (along with promises of getting free coupons to the local pizza place or amusement park, they all end up being 10% off coupons). Though they do not add the Calcutta Times page to it, the brilliant substitute turns out to be an extra page with some snippets from the more porn related news from CT. Even the International page wasn’t spared much.