Kaho Na Massacre Hain

[Update: Just came to know that this post is being forwarded with my name taken off (not the first time that has happened). Needed to put this here so that at least people do not think that I am the one copying forwards]

Ek Paal Ka Jeena

Phir To Hain Jaana

Tohfa Kya Leke Jaayie

Dil Yeh Bataana

Khali Haath Aaye The Hum

Khali Haath Jayenge

Bus Pyar Ke Do Meethen Bol Jhilmilayenge

To Hans Kyon Ki Duniya Ko Hain Hasana

Ae Mere Dil Tu Gaye Ja

Ae Aaye Aao Aaye Aa

[Pictures courtesy Cricinfo. ]

119 thoughts on “Kaho Na Massacre Hain

  1. Well said GreatBong..
    Lost a bet about India making into three figures.. I hope Dravid and co have had a “Decent Exposure” err experience …

  2. pictures say a thousand words, and you have 9…. enough said

  3. Very well said Arnab Da….

  4. its really “the billion blues” if you have seen the Pepsi ads recently.

  5. The latest run-out hit by the singer (un)lucky al(l)i

  6. Perhaps the time is right to “experiment” with the coach and captain 😀 … Maybe switch their places 😉


  7. But my friend Dileep Premachandran of Cricinfo, Ganguly’s best friend :-), doesn’t believe he or VVS are the answers:
    “However to pick on the likes of Raina is easy. Offering up a solution based on reality, rather than sepia-tinted sentimentality, isn’t.”

  8. It would be nice if it was made into a video/slideshow with the song in the background

  9. Greatbong, I have been reading your blog for close to two years and I rarely comment, but this post simply forces me to! This was just brilliant: I mean I have seen captions for pics, but stringing together pics to give a new face to a song surely adds another dimension to the whole thing! Hats-off to you, sire! Keep ’em coming!! 🙂

  10. ooh aah India
    gaya India

    Men in blues!!

  11. (Serious poker face)- “the result does not matter, it’s what we pick up on the way that does- this is 28 overs of great practice against some outstanding seam bowling- the results are sure to be applied this world cup.”

  12. Shouldn’t we start pressing for terriorism charges against the opposing teams for terriorising Team India?


  13. Pathetic performance by an overly rated/touted team. Aptly put.

  14. Bloody hell!! 1:00 A.M. in the night, with Agarakar and Munaf batting….me still waiting for a miracle to happen…but I guess it’s not xmas yet….maybe we’ll win the boxing day test…wot say GB?

  15. Simply Superb!!!
    and all these days i was thinking only a certain player couldnt play short balls on fast pitches.

  16. Thank god no Sachin Tendulkar in your list!!!

  17. Night at 11.42 My mother calls me from home and says,”So ja munna sachin out ho gaya!!” they too switched off the TV. And with this,I fear, we are again going back to those days when people used to switch off TV sets once Sachin gets out. KUDOS to greg chappell… what a progress!!!!. We are going back to 1995-98 era.

    I seriously doubt his intentions. Once India was truely second number team to ausiees. Now it is nowhere.

  18. Im planning to migrate to SA.

  19. you did the right thing ..didn’t waste time writing for such a dismal performance…pics convey the message

  20. India ko South africa ne haraya nahi…chudaya…


  21. Simply Superb!!!

  22. Apt!

    Now what we need from you, GB, is a scathing post! To put those over-hyped hacks in their places!

  23. Indian Cricket Team is always Interesting Team to have FUN 🙂

  24. GB. I have an idea. (I am in Martin Luther King Jr. mode now!)

    Start a website called BooBillion.com.

  25. No comments … be positive,

    Important-forecast for next maches:
    either SA will win or india will loose … ha ha ha …

  26. Greatbong,

    I guess this is just a classic case of how a team from a position of being the potential world beaters have collapsed to a group of spineless muck ,thanks to hitech coaching of an arrogant aussie supported by moronic selectors!!!

    And the ‘Great Greg’ talks of the future of the Indian team post world cup!!

    I hope we at least learn to bat 50 overs.

    Great post as usual, sir.

  27. Durdanto! Guru , faatafaati! claps…claps…claps…claps…claps…claps…claps…claps…claps…claps..

    And somebody wanted to know the lyrics of GunmasterG9 lyrics on Bappi Lahiri community(orkut), I directed him to here. Told him that you are the greatest ‘prabhuji’ fan alive. 🙂

  28. Fantastically put great bong…..Actually read a blog on times of India site or something after the team’s fantastic performace at the champions trophy…….the guys had some really interesting suggestions…neone has that link…

  29. Sriram Venkitachalam November 23, 2006 — 8:03 am

    Nobody understand the Indian team. I donno why Greatbong is being so cynical. See, the Indian team are just very considerate about their Indian fans and the Indian press back home. They just didn not want kids to stay up too late and didn’t want the newspapers to wait another day, so they finished it as soon as they could manage so that they did not have to trouble anyone. I hope the tournament has a Most Considerate Team award and I’m sure we will win it.

  30. same old same old… deja vu… etc etc etc

  31. The foundation of this post Ganguly team is diplomacy, wicked silence and corporate style blabbering.

    What more do you expect?

  32. GR8 Job Done By Men In BLUES………… They are up to the expectation…. (what else one could expect)

    Really they are in BLUES…as useual……

  33. The best quote in recent tumes, courtesy Greg Chappell:

    “Winning or losing does not matter. What matters is following the process.”

    Did Dravid give his, “This is a young team, and they will learn from this experience” comment in the post match Q&A?

  34. An amazing post. I don’t have words to describe your creativity, really. Only thing that I want to add is that I got two forwarded mails from two different friends which carried your post in toto. The friends said that they had got it as a forward. Good thing you put up that update! 😛

  35. arre ghabraate kaayeko ho doston, Sachin hai na.. next match main century maarega…infact my heart says its gonna be a double century soon.
    Go Sachin….

  36. We are good host.
    We are good guest.
    This is our way of popularizing cricket in other countries.

  37. I also was one of those guys who fwded the mail once without giving credit to GB…

    In the past too, I have fwded but after giving credit to GB..

    Sorry GB for this…


  38. Ranjan Chakravarty November 23, 2006 — 11:56 am

    I had asked for a post on Sourav (the original reason I began frequenting your site) a while back but yourfan2 had said to me in a post: “Ebaar eraa haarbe, taarpor GB mukh khulbe.” He was right…. Yes, what a way to open the innings on this salvo, GB! Tumi sheshe mukh khulechho, and what I hear is not a song but a growl! Of a Bengal Tiger! Way to go!!!

  39. hahahaha

    you will be welcome addition at


  40. the best one is

    “Tohfa Kya Leke Jaayie” pic..ha,haaaaaaa!

  41. typical bengali chauvinist the only thing missing is a line on why the return of saurav will take care of all the misfortunes of the indian cricket team, solve global warming, remove world hunger, etc.

    greatbong cant accept the fact that we have always been a mediocre cricket team that only sometimes shows flashes of capability when there is perfect positive storm of a confluence of good form within the top order.

  42. Typically Muna’ish. Humour or sarcasm dont get in ur thick head…does it ??? nuff said.

  43. @Muna: Yaar, the point is simply this: The Indian team can play like this, even without a foreign coach. So why pay Greg Chappell so much to teach the team to do what they do anyway?

    Great post GB! I note that you haven’t mentioned Saurav Ganguly even once in the post. It took the Bong-haters brigade to bring his name up! Ho Ho Ho! 🙂

    I guess the point is made even if you don’t say it!

  44. Ranjan Chakravarty November 23, 2006 — 4:44 pm

    @Sayon: With posts like these we are forced to take a break from Himess and Bhuter Raja, but for a short while only, OK? Very serious work awaits us. 😉

  45. Aha..Excellent post.Although i wouldn’t have guessed it any differently. Was out of town and missed the whole match (thankfully!). It saved me the agony of going through the entire night watching the spineless performance. Bring back sourav ganguly, atleast other guys seemed to play well when was the captain.

  46. Thanks GB for the great post…. When Sandip Patil was Indian coach, he had resiged after a bad performane on an abroad tour. Will Greg Chappell follow similar line or his ‘white skin’ will save him he will keep drawing 175000 USD annual salary from BCCI?

    How long will it take for BCCI to realize that the “real” contribution of Saurav ganguly towards Indian team was not just the runs that came from his bat – but the passion that he had instilled in the team.

    How long will it take for us to realize that Indians can never be professional cricketers like Aus or South Africans, because we are driven and emotion and can never become machines giving uniform throughput. We need a proactive captain, not a strategist.

  47. After this, can we win against Bangladesh?

  48. I got this as a forward yesterday, today I did a reply all with your link. This was awesome!!

  49. I got this as a forward yesterday…and when I saw the link on DP this morn, I guessed this must be it! Awesome stuff,GB! 🙂

  50. Good post.Very Imaginative.But how come all your posts on cricket recently have been berating the team?There were no posts when india held the record for successful chases.

  51. Got to say, you have a thing with pictures, just as with words. That last one of the tri-coloured clad fan is a classic – almost on par with the Venkaiah Naidu snap and that bare-chested comedian’s (what’s his name?) photos that appear on your banner.

  52. I did give you a link here… :D. But this was very well done. Hats off!

  53. Hi GB…ekdom Soooper post! and hey i forwarded the permanlink of this post to everyone i know, and not the post!

  54. Rahul Dravid now knows how uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. It is easier to (back)stab Caesar with the help of Cassius Chappell and Casca More, than to rule like him. Oh, but Rahul is an honourable man!

  55. freak-alarious!

    P.S – is it just me or does Kallis look positively evil?

  56. If performance is the only criterion that seems to matter, why is Chappell still the coach?
    Why is then Dravid still the captain?

    Chappell’s only contribution to Indian cricket till date has been the sacking of Ganguly. India could only win a few matches, that too in India only, in the first few months after Sourav left … probably taking advantage of whatever was left of the bonding that Sourav had created.

    Time to call back Sourav and Laxman into the team?

  57. Arnab, couple of months back, i would have disagreed with u on Greg and Dravid. But after DLF, Champions Trophy and Durban, all i can say is “Ab Bas”. Arre bhai, bardaasht ka bhi koi hadh hai. What the fuck were the team mgt thinking, sending in Kaif at No 3, after loss of an early wicket? Dravid should be at No 3, and i dont understand why we keep playing ducks and drakes with this position. To date i have rarely seen Ponting drop down the order for Australia. Thats coz u keep ur best batsman there. Why was Irfan Pathan dropped, no sense in selecting 7 batsman, when 4 out of em cant even bat. Pathan would have been a better choice over Mongia. And what the fuck is Raina doing in the team, he is no Tendulkar, he is at the best a good player, not a prodigy, that we throw him to wolves.
    Well on other hand, i think GC has done the impossible. When he started as coach, only Kolkatans hated him, but now he has made sure the entire nation hates him, if not for nothing Guru Greg, should be applauded for uniting the nation.

  58. Well Arnab, i think u should keep some more pics and songs in stock, coz the series in S.A. would be same in all 4 matches. But let me tell u after this, we will come back to India, play some matches on home pitches against SL & WI, thrash them, media will hail the team, Cricinfo will annoint Guru Greg as the latest Saint and hold a roundtable discussion about how Indian cricket has revived.
    People like u and me who tell not to get carried away, will be castigated as Dada supporters, and people who are not patriotic enough. We will have more of Ooh Aah India and Blue Billion Campaigns, aur WC 2007, mein phir wohi kahaani.

  59. Really superb way of presenting yar ….

    This is the present TEAM INDIA in chaios

  60. To be honest, this debacle was not entirely unpredictable. What is also not unpredictable is for 2 names to crop up each time India loses- Ganguly and Laxman. To an independent observer, this might seem irksome, as if the supporters of the duo are not true cricket lovers, but watch each of India’s matches with vested interests- to see India lose and whet the knife for Dravid and Chappell. This was especially true in the aftermath of several great home performances. After many more one dayers and watching all international sides in action in the recently concluded champions trophy – the independent observer may ask- why not Ganguly and Laxman?

    And its a valid question. The coach and the captain can dream of revolution- the next level- the next Australia etc., but patience has its own limits. I am willing to accept Ganguly’s omission if the team unearthed some great talents – team india is always before any state or region. But if the supposedly ‘great’ players like Raina fail match after match (yes the Faridabad pitch can make ordinary batters look great), and there arent no great alternatives, is it a crime to look back at men who are old but have done the job in the past? And then, when you say…no these 2 persons are obfuscated (Ganguly and Laxman), it smacks of prejudice. Both players suddenly didnt become redundant by a particular date. The case of Damien Martyn with Australia has been an eye opener.

    Greg Chappell was supposed to be infusing western values of professionalism in this ‘divided’ Indian side. I rather suspect that he himself has inculcated a lot of Oriental traits of prejudice leaving his Aussie mateship behind. With the world cup just a few months away, Dravid and Chappell are getting even more adamant after every defeat. Lets take the case of Wasim Jaffer opening in ODI’s. Why was Saurav not even considered?….cuz he cant play the short ball…bullshit…noone except Dravid and sachin playes the short ball…but so eyecatching was Ganguly’s body movements were agaisnt the short stuff that thats what lingers in the mind of people…not the 10000 odi runs which he scored and which he could not have scored if he could not play fast bowling. In spite of living in USA, I watch all of India’s matches very closely. Having seen Raina in at least 30 Odis, I can safely say that neither he nor Gautam Gambhir is more comfortable against the short ball than Ganguly….but their discomfort was not that eye catching and hence they are just another member of the fail-to-play-where-it-bounces stuff. Laxman …specially I feel has got the raw deal ..like in 2003 World cup.

    Someone above mentioned Dileep Premachandran’s forewarning that bringing back Lax and Gang would be a mistake. And today I read Allan Donald saying that India need the duo. I am flummoxed….whom to trust….some reporter who by his keen powers of perception has given the verdict (sic) that Ganguly cant play short stuff or the bowler who dished out the short stuff to all international batters in his prime….including Ganguly. 🙂 Recently Cricinfo has realised its folly of diluting its content with too much shit….and hence you see Greig, Chappell, Manjarekar etc. etc….which i must say makes the website much more interesting. Perhaps sometimes the reader is at fault by taking what he is reading too seriously.

    In any case, Im not saying that India would have given a hot chase had the duo been there. But when you use terms like consistency etc, half the batting should be sacked…and then if you do not have MEK Hussey like replacements…is it a sacrilege to consider players who have been there and done that?…especialy when the need of the hour considering the job at hand (March 07) is to sacrifice long term planning for short term success. Even Austrlia have done so for this Ashes…so no need to be ashamed…PA Jacques still has not replaced Langer and M. Johnson is still kept in the leash.

    By considering all newcomers and proven performers who are still out there, we should go about selecting the people for WC 07. If the ego of a certain coach and captain shunt out a few because of personal and cricketing reasons, its a sad state of affairs as we are not giving ourselves the chance to select the best possible side.. Greg Chappell should be asked, by deliberately shunting the duo…are you trying to portray frictional unemployment as structural unemployment?

    In any case, I hope that India does better from here on, and select future teams free of prejudice…a trait of the recently concluded More tenure…and see Greg Chappell as a coach rather than a messiah. The time is nigh…and with a restrictive-at-best bowling attack and a batting order which is very moody, chances are they wont pay a lot of dividend in the long run to the WC glory. In fact India is more like the NZl cricket team now…so I guess our world cup expectations should be NZl like. With the kind of cricket that even teams like WI played recently, India will surrender the war even before the battle begins if it cointinues with the same composition and senseless methods of madness. Change is therefore the order of the day.

  61. Well, India just missed out on a century. Appreciation is required.

  62. Your fan, u echoed most of my sentiments. I seriously doubt Chappel is an Aussie school guy. I mean no sane Australian coach, would indulge in these weird experiments. Since Chappell loves to talk about Aussie way of doing things, i have some points here from some of his Aussie pals
    1) Ricky Ponting during Champions Trophy.We value experience, we believe in having the guys who have been there and done that. We need the right blend of experience and youth. Allan Donald has again stated that however talented a 19 year old might be, he cant be exposed straight away to international cricket, least of all in S.Africa. And Raina is no prodigy like Tendulkar, he is at best a good player, but he is not so exceptional.
    2)Now whatever the Aussies do, i can never imagine myself, nor have i come across a scenario, Shane Warne or Brett Lee, comming in at No3. Thats coz though Warney or Lee can bat well, their job is to bowl and take wickets. The No 3 spot is the most vital one in cricket, and u send ur best batsmen in there. Chappel himself was a leading No 3 Batsman in his times, how would he have felt, if he were shifted up and down in order. Dravid should be at No 3,coz on loss of an early wicket, he can steady the nerves. No 3 belongs to the best batsman in side, Rahul Dravid, Ricky Ponting, Younis Khan, Brian Lara. U cant send in likes of Pathan and Kaif there, and make a mockery of that position.
    3) When Dada and JW were there, we had the best opening stands in both ODI(Dada-Sachin) and Tests( Sachin-Sehwag)and now we dont have a stable opening partnership at all. What has the experimentation achieved, i want to know?

  63. I am sick with Dileep, Prem and R.Mohan,they dont deserve to be called cricket writers.
    I read one article by R.Mohan recently, and here are some of his gems
    1) India should not tour S.Africa, its wrong place for WC preparation. The conditions there are different. My only reaction to that was eh.
    2) Eden Gardens prepared a greentop to take revenge on Ganguly’s ouster during S.Africa’s tour of India last year. So if it was a greentop, how come our pace bowlers failed to take a single wicket.
    Prem Panicker of Rediff is even worse, he has just stopped writing giving different excuses every time, and Dileep, come on ur a cricket writer, its ur job to talk cricket, not play favorites.
    Luckily with Ian Chappel, Ravi Shastri, Sanjay Manjrekar writing there, the columns make some sense now.I want to ask is Gambhir a better opener than Aakash Chopra, why was the latter left out.
    Yourfan2, when choice is between one of the greatest fast bowler the world has seen and an average cricket writer, the option is simple. GC’s tactics have come under fire from Sunil Gavaskar, Ravi Shastri, Imran Khan, Tony Greig and by no stretch of imagination can u call them Ganguly supporters. Gavaskar is not a fool when he lashes out against GC’s tactics of making team play games like kho kho.
    Allan Donald is not a fool when he asks for Ganguly and Laxman to be bought back. The Proteas are happy, for they can’t forget India’s last tour of S.Africa, when Dada lead the charge with a brilliant ton in the ODI.
    Dada might not have the best technique, but he had a lion heart, he fought fire with fire. Laxman has one of the soundest techniques and is one of the best players of fast bowling. To make him sit out that he is not a good fielder, is stupid. How good a fielder is Inzy or Yousuf, is Glenn Mc Grath a great fielder, and btw Laxman is a decent fielder. U cant be in side just on fielding strength alone.

  64. RD and GC, must realize, that their well of excuses has dried up. It’s been a year, and forget about taking Indian cricket to next level, they are bringing it down by a level.
    Yeah once again since GC keeps harping about the Aussie way of doing things, take a look at the first Test in Brisbane, most of em are the same team who had been in Ashes 2005. Hayden, Gilchrist, Martyn, Langer who had a miserable time in that series are back again. The bowling is the same old team of Lee, McGrath, Warne and Clark. For all his brilliant talent, Mitchell Johnson, has not been bought into Test side, nor have they bought back Shane Watson.
    I think GC is confusing dropping dead wood with continous changing and chopping. From Ashes 2005 to Ashes 2006, the core of the Aussie team has remained intact. So i dont understand what Aussie way GC speaks about. Every one keeps harping about Steve Waugh, he was asked to leave after it was confirmed there was a suitable replacement for him. Had some 1 like Raina or Mongia replaced him, it would have caused a national uproar in Australia.
    Actually i think, GC was not much of a success in coach Down Under. Unfortunately, we Indians paid him a princely sum, overlooking the fact.

  65. Ranjan Chakravarty November 24, 2006 — 10:57 am

    @yourfan2 and Ratnakar: Well said! I really hope the Indian selctors are reading this and someone has had the good sense to forward this to Sharad Pawar.
    @yourfan2: Good to see you posting after a while.
    @yourfan2 and GB: Please read my earlier comment.

  66. Hi Great bong,
    Always a pleasure to read ur blog.. but yesterday after i had read this… i found Star news showing the exact same thing in the evening… I am not sure whether they have taken any pemission from you… Please dont let these b****** pass off easily…

  67. Ranjan, indian selectors aur pawar ko yeh dekhne se kya faayda. BCCI is not bothered, its the world’s richest Board, and it has lots of money. They are only interested in fighting with ICC or getting some meaningless series with Pakistan on dead pitches or arranging some meaningless ODI series in India, for our superstars to win and feel good about. Pawar or Dalmiya, all they are interested is in politics and money, they care a damn about the game.
    Daljit Singh prepared one of the best tracks in India at Mohali, why is his help not being taken. Hey 1 more thing,our heroes have not been able to fare well on Indian pitches also. When was the last time we scored a total of 500 in a test match here in India?
    When a second string English side toured here, Hoggard, Harmison, Anderson and co, totally exposed the Indian batting?
    Hey forget about Pollock and Ntini, our guys were totally exposed in WI by Collymore, Taylor and Bravo.
    When we lost the ODI series 4-1 to WI in WI, that itself should have raised an alarm. Because to date, the WI was losing ODI series regularly to all the top teams visiting it. So Guru Greg should be complimented for that achievement.
    Come on when our guys were exposed on Indian tracks itself, is our Durban nightmare a surprise, this was comming for a long time.

  68. Very Innovative, Arnab. 🙂

    Love it or hate it, I have my own views about the whole thing happening…

    No, I am not going to demand Sourav Ganguly’s comeback or protest against his much spoken about exclusion from the Indian team.
    Instead this is intended to serve as an eye-opener in way of exposing a great Australian Conspiracy against India.

    Which one would you choose between ‘A consistently winning team led by a non-performing captain’ and ‘A consistently losing
    (getting thrashed, actually) team led by a performing captain’
    Or, let me put it in this way, which one is better –‘Mark Taylor-led-Australia’ or ‘Andy Flower-led-Zimbabwe’?
    Unless some scientifically acceptable psycho-analisis proves I am either mentally retarded or possess the same Intelligence Quotient as Dubya, I have no hesitation in concluding in a straight and simple manner that any sane person, on any given day would choose the former option.

    Ganguly wasn’t scoring runs regularly (like Veeru isn’t these days) but he was making up for it by making everyone perform at their best. This was EFFECTIVE PEOPLE MANAGEMENT.
    Dravid has completely failed at that. He has time and again proved he is no good at it.

    Indian cricket, beyond doubt, has seen its best time (in terms of consistently performing well) under Ganguly’s captaincy.

    If there was one team in the period 2000-2005 the Aussies, the undisputed world champions feared, it was India. Yes, Sourav Chandidas Ganguly’s India.

    Aussies needed to take some preventive measures as they could clearly see Men in Blue getting right where they were slowly but steadily.
    If there was one man they wanted to knock down really badly, it was Sourav Ganguly.
    They needed an Australian version of 007.

    Then came the brave soul, the great son of mother Australia, Guru Greg , to the rescue of his motherland.
    And the rest is history … never there been so rapid a fall by one team in the history of international cricket…..one small example (the latest one) out of the numerous ones in the recent past.

    The team that was beating almost everybody and threatening the Aussies’ total dominance is now getting consistently and disgracefully (to be statistically exact, in 6 out of last 8 ODIs between them) demolished by a team which had all the test playing teams thrashing them until a few days ago. . .yes, it’s the West Indies. Remember how they were performing before we, the friendliest of all cricketing nations, helped them regain their long lost confidence and form?

    Anyone, be it a team or a player, has always overcome a bad patch and regained supreme form against India – History proves it.

    Guru Greg has already done his job. Whether or not he manages to keep his heavily paid coaching job after India ingloriously exits (which India anyways will unless some miracle happens) from the World Cup 2007 is yet to be seen . . . and it doesn’t really matter to him anyway because he has already delivered what he was sent here for. 007’s mission Accomplished !

    All we see is the Blue Billion rising , shouting, chanting ‘hooh haah India, Ya ha India’….only to get disgusted by the series of comedy of errors by the ‘prized blue eleven’ on the field … again and again … again and again …

    A conspiracy. A successfully executed subtle international conspiracy. Something which the ‘blue billion’ failed to notice.

    PS: This has been one of the smartest initiatives taken by the Indian Cricket Administrators in a long long time.

  69. Wish Guru Greg Bahadur Chappel, would read this Post by Tim de Lisle, about the first two days of Brisbane Test. As also Guruji’s chelas who are so enthusiastic about youth, energy and all that stuff.

    “Australia have played the first two days superbly. What they have done is to apply their experience.

    Justin Langer was scratchy early on – the comment from Bob which provoked such outrage here contained a grain of truth – but he imposed his will, converted nerves into nervous energy, and targeted Steve Harmison as surely as Harmison targeted him last time round. Ricky Ponting was back to his magnificent best, and showed with his anger at getting out that he wanted a second hundred as much as the first.

    Mike Hussey, a highly experienced novice, played shrewd second fiddle. The tail rubbed England’s faces in it: Stuart Clark batted with the fearlessness of a man who waited a long time for the limelight and is going to enjoy it while it lasts. Glenn McGrath was gifted one wicket, but had the nous and skill to produce a snorter next ball and turn one into two. Only Adam Gilchrist failed to make his experience tell.

    The seven most seasoned players on the field are all Australian. The most experienced Englishman, Andrew Flintoff, is also having to be the captain, the talisman and the leader of the pack. His one clear mistake today was not to realise that his best bowler was himself and bowl at the start. Around him, there was plenty of bowling experience, but with Harmison’s action in tatters, it was only when Matthew Hoggard had that one over of brief, belated glory – with a little help from the massively experienced Steve Bucknor – that it made any impact.”

    Is there a lesson in this for us. Substitute Australia with S.Africa, England with India,Flintoff with Dravid and Tendulkar, Ponting with Kallis, McGrath with Pollock, and Brisbane with Durban.
    Maybe GC should start reading such blogs, instead of his weird coaching theories.

  70. Hilarious !!

    Lets have a show of hands, how many of you think India will reach the finals of WC’07?

    Haha He he. Ho Ho.

  71. My ‘miss fortune’ — I missed the match. Nor did I check the result. On my way to work in the morning — read your saty-ly-rical lament. Reached office to see Arunava already there – giving finishing touches to his saty-ly-rical lament as well.

    Chitra-‘haar’ 🙂

  72. Ranjan Chakravarty November 25, 2006 — 9:26 am

    @GB, your responses? This is one of your most trenchant posts ever.

  73. @All: First, thanks for the words of appreciation. Please forgive me for not individually replying to each comment. Let me instead make some general observations.

    1. The most important truth is that India just does not have fresh talent, as Dilip Vengsarkar said. We may argue till Doomsday that Gambhir would have been a better selection over Wasim Jaffer and that Sikhar Dhawan should be in the tour party, but I doubt whether any of this would have any effect on the wider malaise for which we have lost 10 out of our last 13 and quite a few of them on home pitches.

    But yes VVS needs to be in SA. Because his so-called “fit” replacements are totally clueless about their primary job function: batting.

    2. Given our pool of talent available, we still can perform a lot better. However GC’s poor man-management skills and vindictive politicing had torn to shreds the team spirit and camaraderie that was built up during the SG-JW era. And when the lights go out, it is this spirit that holds the team together. And contrary to the way it is being spun, this is not an issue of foreign coaches. Bob Woolmer has to deal with a bunch of people who are very difficult to interact (to put it mildly) with and yet manages to perform much better than GC.

    What’s been the worst fallout of this series of debacles is that RD looks like a pale shadow of his 2002–2005 self. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders, has to deal with barbs from the fans and noise from Parliament. Consequently his batting has not been consistent and that’s too much of a pull on India’s already fragile line-up.

    3.And yes the question. SG. Should be brought back? I doubt whether, with his well documented shortcomings, will be able to turn things around as a BATSMAN. However, he has performed decently in Ranji trophy ( a century and then 43 on a grassy pitch) and will not perform any worse than the Rainas and the Kaifs and the Mongias.

    But he is needed. as a captain and and as a leader. In an ideal world, that be the move to make. It would free RD to concentrate on his batting and it would bring the team together (SG’s man management skills being legendary). However we are far past that stage— SG and GC cannot work together and removing RD from captaincy in favour of SG will open a whole new can of worms.

  74. @ GB: But GC isn’t doing any good for the team at all. So any day, it would be wise to kick him out and bring back SG as a senior player in the side. We do not need a formal coach. Probably stripping RD out of captaincy might look like a punishment – which he doesnot deserve, so I donot recommend it.

    If Sharad Pawar can work something out to unite the trio (Tendulkar, Dravid and Ganguly), I am sure they are capable enough to guide the team through the worldcup better than GC and all his imported techniques. Once upon a time Zimbabwe team had Dave Houghton as a playing coach, and Andy Flower as a senior player, and (I think) Heath Streak as captain. Isn’t this formulation better than sitting and watching things go worse for India.
    But yes, I agree, that this entire idea is contingent on how compatable SG would be with RD given RDs present alliance with GC. But again SG is a great manager – he can be trusted blindly on these issues.

  75. Ravi Shastri is a menace to mankind and I hope he dies. He was the first to go ga- ga over Chappels stupid tactics of lionizing bits and pieces cricketers (and turning some perfectly decent ones into bits and pieces). Now, the wimp has gone harping about Gautam Gambhir. Like Gambhir has played even 1 decent international knock on a hard, bouncy track.

    If somebody remembers Indian performances around 1990-92, one would be careful about the involvement of certain individuals in Indian cricket. A team involving Srikanth, Sidhu, Azhar, Shastri, Vengsarkar and More embodied the spineless worst of India- a team that would get regularly pounded by an Australian side that was not a scratch on the current side in terms of talent or attitude. This is inspite of the fact that a number of these individuals were exceptionally talented- and that it had the services of the one and only Kapil Dev.

    From early 2000, the Indian team started showing definite signs of improvement as travellers, and a stomach to fight, whatever the adversities might be.
    Like an evil spirit from the past, a parasitic leech of the name of Kiran More has pushed Indian cricket back into the quagmires of mediocrity in foreign conditions, regionalism and poor cohesion as a team.
    If Vengsarkar’s lack of spirit as a batsman left me not too delighted about him becoming the selection top boss- his perception of Wasim Jaffer becoming a big hit on South African greentops in ODIs has not made me too optimistic, either.

  76. @Ranjan Chakraborty: Thanks. I would have liked to talk a lot on other aspects too…but I am watching the Brisbane test very intently. …3rd ODi about to start…whatlll happen today…thankfully its not a Day nighter …India would have surely set some ignominous record batting under lights at Newlands. 🙂

    Look at our ODI periods of triumph after 95….its all (mostly) been centered on great batting performances. India should be realistic…our team wont win crutial WC matches with that bowling attack defending say a 160…Australia can do that with Lee and other attacking bowlers…we should therefore put on big totals when batting first and chase well too…all this means a set stable batting line up…far from oozing with confidence…its shaking and looks wobbly…the gap between the abilities of the players and their performances is starker than ever.

    From India’s point of view, Sehwag’s fading as a ODI player is a concern…he looks like a blunt tool that was sharp enough to cut into any bowling attack on his day…maybe the opposition has worked him out. Apart from Rahul, Sachin, Yuvraj and Dhoni, no one is a certainity.

    My grouse with Chappell is that for the remaining places, he is favoring some players more and backing them more than other contenders. The senseless no 3 musical chair thing did not help at all.

    I also believe that no matter what…Anil Kumble should be in the WC team no matter what (at least in the 14 if not on every match 11)…this fielding shit is ok if the basic things are done ok…at out of form Kaif and Raina in the field hardly gives you anything.

    However lets hope that its the lowest ebb of the trough…so to speak. Otherwise Malcolm Speed’s words about Indian Cricket would haunt us like anything.

    @Ratnakar: agree with you about BCCI. Instead of improving things at domestic level, they simply think that a foreign coach at the top would work wonders. No wonder we flounder finding suitable replacements.

    My point is that some GC sounds so God like when you read an article like this

    …but a great theoretical coach need not a successful one make…otherwise Oz would not have stuck with only first-class Buchanan for so long.

    GC however has been quite adamant about his methods on the media…my only fear as an ordinary cricket lover is that he doesnt get obsessed with his methods to the point that its obfuscates basic realities and order of the day. GC cant be blamed for lack of great fast bowlers or batters who play the short ball well….but he ought to maximise what he has on his hand…without prejudice. As usual, if India continues its current dismal ODI form…and gets f** badly in WC, criticism directed at him wont be unfair by any means.


    “Ravi Shastri is a menace to mankind and I hope he dies. He was the first to go ga- ga over Chappels stupid tactics of lionizing bits and pieces cricketers (and turning some perfectly decent ones into bits and pieces). Now, the wimp has gone harping about Gautam Gambhir. Like Gambhir has played even 1 decent international knock on a hard, bouncy track.”

    :))) lol…lol.

    Absolutely agree with that and the rest of the article. Dont forget WC 92.

  77. This post is the best post match review I’ve ever read. Now i’m just waiting to see what GB comes out with after India grabbed defeat from the mouth of victory in the 3rd ODI.

  78. Today the Chappel Dravid “think”-tank…(if thinking is a word that can be used in this context) proved that while so far they could have been considered injudicious, capricious, partiial and incorrect… today they proved that they are plain f***in crazy… Dinesh Karthik as a specialist batsman (when they had three specialist batsmen… Jaffer, Raina and Mongia in the side, admittedly Raina and Mongia are nonsensical and Jaffer slightly better..but still Jaffer has failed only once.. whereas Sehvag… as Sehvag…)…. You are tellin me that he is India’s.. the whole bloody country’s best No. 5 one day batsman… Further, Karthik didn’t keep wickets… Dhoni did…. whereas Karthik is widely recognised as miles better than Dhoni in keeping… (Karthik incidentally dropped Kemp in mid-wicket when he was 34…)… Dhoni arguably can make it to the team as a specialist bat… Karthik simply cannot…the no. 3 roulette continued… Dravid coming in at No. 3 today and rightly so…

    here what Dileep Premachandran, that messiah of Indian cricket writing has to say …

    “Karthik made only 14, but the technique and gumption he showed suggested that he’s well worth persisting with as a batsman alone….” … Karthik better than VVS Laxman, or Venugopal Rao, or Diensh Mongia or even Gautam Gambhir??? (notice I didnt even say a particular left-hander’s name?)… somebody here needs a mental examination… Sangakara makes the Srilankan team as a batsman because he is that damned good… Gilchrist would… Karthik does not…

    Dravid and GC have sunk to a new low of technical nincompoopness….I am looking forward to a new post Arnob… or maybe you should just publish this again… our performance wasn’t any different…

  79. Now I have actually received this as a forward:). I guess in a way your work is being appreciated Greatbong! Even if they don’t acknowledge it…

  80. In a word…brilliant!!!

  81. Jokes apart (wrt my earlier comment),
    Conspiracy or not, Guru Greg’s sole objective seems to be bringing the Indian team back in the early 90’s when a failure by Sachin meant invariable defeat and a good innings by him gave us a 50-50 chance of winning. The GC+RD super-combo possibly has worked a bit hard in this it seems and has taken the team to a much worse comdition than that. Because, even in that era, despite being continuously slaughtered overseas, Indians at least used to thrash any team on home soil. Now even on home soil they are struggling.
    I don’t think GC/RD really knows what they are taking things to. Does God know? I doubt. I seriously doubt.

  82. Hi GB,
    This was wonderful!! But be careful of those who like to lick Greg’s middle finger, they may come haevy on you!!

    Good Luck!!!

  83. Aniket, no sane person in India, would want to lick any part of Greg’s anatomy, unless he is gay. I doubt even gays would.
    Jokes aside, GC’s chamchas like Dileep, Prem, R.Mohan are quite, because they know that joothe pad jayenge. BTW how come a Dad’s Army of Aussies, defeated an English side, comprehensively at Brisbane. Me thinks Greg dearie got chucked out from Australia, as they did not agree with his weird theories. But we welcome the trash of every nation, and we made him coach. The result is there to see.

  84. @yourfan2:
    who on earth is is Dileep Prema-whatever?
    Should one be taking his opinion more seriously, or Allan Donald’s?
    The performance of the team ever since the WI tour has been nothing short of disaster. Out of top 7, only two have been performing with some degree of consistency – Dravid and Dhoni. Tendulkar is way past his prime. There is also no denying the talent of Sehwag, so it’s only a matter of time before he blossoms. The same goes for Yuvraj.
    So we have positions in the top 7 that are questionable – if one were to go by recent performance.
    I want to understand by what justification does a Kaif or Raina or Wasim Jaffer or a Dinesh Karthik deserve a place ahead of Ganguly or Laxman? Even the team management has no confidence on these chaps – one bad performance has seen 3 of them get dropped, with a statement from Chappell that this (with Karthik, Kaif as batsmen) is the best team we can field? So why take along Raina or Jaffer or Mongia.

    The way the team has used Mongia is questionable – it appears it is more an issue of personal favourtism. Mongia has been VERY successful in county cricket this summer (more successful than India’s current middle order) and surely deserves more chance. After all, he’s had at least some experience of playing the moving and/or bouncing ball.
    Look at the way Zaheer Khan was treated in the last year. There was no reason to drop him from the side in the first place. He was the highest wicket taker in county cricket this season – and see how has made his comeback!!!

    High time that politics and performance in Indian cricket is separated – and for that the first thing we need to do is give Greg Chappell the sack, and link cricketers’ payments to the number of match wins/series wins …. offer special bonuses of tournament wins, etc.
    Why should they be allowed to lose match after match and still get paid crores???

  85. Awesome creativity GB. I couldn’t help but write a short post about you. 😛

  86. Guess what? Rahul Dravid injured his middle finger yesterday while batting. Methinks he might be replaced by Greg Chappell’s famous middle finger in ther next game. At least Greg’s middle finger has more gumption, passion, and character!!!

  87. You need to repeat the post!

  88. @Bonetallis:

    “High time that politics and performance in Indian cricket is separated – and for that the first thing we need to do is give Greg Chappell the sack, and link cricketers’ payments to the number of match wins/series wins …. offer special bonuses of tournament wins, etc.
    Why should they be allowed to lose match after match and still get paid crores???”

    Bang on. That is a surefire way to shake up players who otherwise may get into a comfort zone and take their performances for granted. But i dont see it happening….theres that ICPA thing which will not let it happen…I mean no player would be too happy with the issue…and i fail to remember the last occasion that the board has stamped its views on the players against their wishes.

    I look forward to the India Test team selection with keen interest now. 🙂

    @Dealer: Well said.

    @GB- Great pics. The verdict is out- readers want more cricket related articles. 🙂

  89. stfu dilip premalingam and other uppam-lingam types.

    ganguly will come back to pwn your collective ass.

    and WTG greatbong.

    (pls delete the previous message and keep this one instead. and delete this parenthesis bit too)

  90. With so much response to this post, have a new post up trying to sum up what has not been said in this comment thread and I feel still has to be said. And thank you Beaupeep :-)…flattered.

  91. This is what is happening when I’m not captainising the team. My boys haven’t given their 051 per cent.

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  93. Main nahin bhaga….
    Believe me….
    Main darpuk nahin hoon…
    Mere anguli mein chot hainnnnn

  94. Well after lots of thought and research etc… i have come to the conclusion that the current state of indian team is because of ganguly… (not because we are missing him but because of him)
    i think ganguly should be arrested and interrogated to find out ki aakhir usne kaali puja main kya maanga thaa… kyon

  95. Stolen of course ! Shameless bastards.

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