Monkey Jain of the Vishwa Bandar Parishad (VBP) was frothing at the mouth as he and a bunch of simians he was leading vandalized the zoo. Taking a break from flinging his own excreta at a panda bear, Monkey Jain explained the reason for his agitation, all the while violently tweaking his own nipples in anger.
“A few days ago, we received news that panda porn was being shown in this zoo, which as we all know is totally against our culture. We may piss in our mouth and have lice in our fur, but such vulgarity is absolutely unacceptable. Once we arrived here, we found the situation was even worse. Not only were copies of Bear Hug triplex freely available, but panda orgies were taking place accompanied by rampant partner swapping and other things that offend our religion. ”
Monkey Jain is no stranger to controversy. He made the news some time ago for launching an assault on a tortoise George when it was learnt that offensive tortoise-human behavior was taking place where a 26 year old female graduate student in zoology was pleasuring George with her hands.
In late developments, a panda bear was arrested from the zoo on charges of lewd behavior. George, the tortoise, could not be reached for comment as he had gone into his shell.