Animal Crackers

Monkey Jain of the Vishwa Bandar Parishad (VBP) was frothing at the mouth as he and a bunch of simians he was leading vandalized the zoo. Taking a break from flinging his own excreta at a panda bear, Monkey Jain explained the reason for his agitation, all the while violently tweaking his own nipples in anger.

“A few days ago, we received news that panda porn was being shown in this zoo, which as we all know is totally against our culture. We may piss in our mouth and have lice in our fur, but such vulgarity is absolutely unacceptable. Once we arrived here, we found the situation was even worse. Not only were copies of Bear Hug triplex freely available, but panda orgies were taking place accompanied by rampant partner swapping and other things that offend our religion. ”

Monkey Jain is no stranger to controversy. He made the news some time ago for launching an assault on a tortoise George when it was learnt that offensive tortoise-human behavior was taking place where a 26 year old female graduate student in zoology was pleasuring George with her hands.

In late developments, a panda bear was arrested from the zoo on charges of lewd behavior. George, the tortoise, could not be reached for comment as he had gone into his shell.

20 thoughts on “Animal Crackers

  1. Hi GB,

    My first post on your blog. Took about a month in reading thru the whole lot, each one is just as awesome. Keep up the great work, the GB hour is one of the best parts of my daily routine 🙂

    Another great post above 🙂 although, I wish you write another post exclusively on the MS University (and MF Hussain) issues and your views on the Moral policing.

    Have a great stay in India.

  2. lol…

    kucch bhi !!!!!

  3. jata bollei holo.. ei news gulu tomar chela gulu internet e dhale tomar blog lekhar jonye.

    (ok ok for the uninitiated, that means these news bits are engineered by the bong himself and his croonies put them up on the net to help him write the posts.)

    neways, happy cal visit…

  4. Not so good as ur other posts, I think Curious Gawker (Renegade of Junk) wud have done a better job at something like this. Anyhow, you have your own style and the other posts rock!


  5. Ektu beshi breif hoye geche ….. you could have written more ….but i guess you have written on similar topics before …..

  6. I was under the impression that lonesome George’s girlfriend, the young grad student, was simply co-authoring a seminal paper with George who, reportedly under VBP pressure, turned limp on the collaboration and declined to deliver.

  7. Hi GB,
    lately, your posts arent so funny anymore, this 1 being an example. I do remember some of ur older posts – i’d to try hard not to laugh out loud in office; what happened? r u forcing yourself to write posts?

  8. Dibyo-da….from Turkey with love ke? GB…nice post. Could’ve done with a few more animal crackers though.

  9. Again,
    Any interesting bytes from the blogmeet???

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