U Me Aur Hum—the Review

47 Comments

It was 2002. Stonybrook. I was watching the Ajay Devgun-Sonali Bendre starrer “Tera Mera Saath Rahen” in a company of raucous graduate students as part of “Baatcheet”, a mix and greet that the Indian Graduate Students Association there used to hold. The movie had a serious theme– that of Ajay Devgun trying to cope with the responsibilities of raising a physically and mentally challenged brother. However, with myriad side-plots, issues and songs that arrived with the regularity of pop-ups at a porn site, “Tera Mera Saath Rahen” induced more derision than empathy from the audience. When Ajay Devgun, at one point, shouts at his brother, who has a bed-wetting problem, something on the lines of: “Tang a gaya hoon main tumhare susu saaf kaarte kaarte” (I am sick and tired of cleaning up your pee), there was more than a few snickers. Now lest people think us heartless, let me say in our defense that it was not the situation but the way that Devgun delivered the line that made the audience, which I should say was bored out of their wits, react so.

For me however the moment of the movie came towards the end of the movie when Ajay Devgun, under pressure from his girlfriend, sends his brother to an institution and starts regretting the decision.

In a supposedly heart-wrenching scene with a sad song blaring in the background he wakes up at night, looks at the bed, realizes his brother isn’t there and starts crying.

At this moment of pathos, my calm was shattered, not unpleasantly, by one of the insensate grad students commenting: “Abh usko pata chala ki un dono main bistaar pe kaun susu karta tha” (Now he understands which among those two actually wets the bed).

“U Me Aur Hum” sees Ajay Devgun essaying thematically a very similar role to the one he played in “Tera Mera Saath Rahen” with the brother being replaced by an Alzheimer’s-affected Kajol. And this time the concoction is even worse. “Tera Mera Saath Rahen” albeit simplemindedly and despite multiple distractions, managed to maintain something akin to focus on an extremely complicated issue by focusing almost exclusively on the following dilemma: should one spend all your time caring for a sick loved one whose recovery is impossible or should you move on in life? Even though it failed to be good cinema, you had to give it points for trying.

“U Me Aur Hum” doesn’t even make the attempt. Or perhaps with Devgun as director, it simply cannot. Pleading with the audience to be taken seriously and trying desperately to be a cross between “Taare Zamein Par”,”Notebook” and a Mills and Boons (Ajay Devgun is no M&B hero, thank you), “U Me Aur Hum” is a trite, hammy endeavor that is so way out of its league while dealing with an issue as serious as brain atrophy that it is not even funny.

Starting from the SMS-ese title, the cheesy romantic lines in the starting credits, the straight-from-the-age-of-Tuntun ugly fat kid (not however called the usual “Panchu Beta”), the never-ending PJs and shayris, the almost-ready-to-order-from-your-Hallmark-store “book of possibilities” to the casting of over-acting, irrelevant side-characters (the likes of which I last saw in “Mann”, a similar monstrosity set on a cruise), “U Me Aur Hum” is a vision of hell where the Devil would be the manager of an Archies store, a vision brought to realization by Ajay Devgun’s directorial ineptness in which the serious issues (like the dilemma of Tera Mera Saath Rahein) are given 5 minutes of ham-time while the fluff and floss are allowed to bubble and froth. And lest I forget, there are some amazing directorial “touches” like when in an operation theater (where we assume the lighting has to be stable) the halogens flicker on and off in a horror effect seen many times in the “Saw” series but totally out of place in a movie with “U Me Aur Hum”‘s ostensible theme.

And did I snicker as the serious events unfolded on the screen? Yes. I confess I did. Not of course at the scripted comedy moments but when Kajol, after singing a seductive song lies in bed with her screen and real life husband. And as Ajay Devgun makes love to her and the camera focuses on her face, we see her vacant, unfeeling, not aware of where she is, oblivious to her husband’s manful exertions.

At that point of time, I had to interject : “That’s not Alzheimer’s disease madam. That’s just marriage”.

Yes some things are better forgotten. Bad love, bad food and of course “U Me Aur Hum”.

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47 thoughts on “U Me Aur Hum—the Review

  1. woohaa. first?
    i thought you would probably be posting a ganguly tribute, but this one works just teh same.

  2. This review made hilarous reading , the SMS-ese was a wonderful neology. but i think it was a bit harsh on poor devgan. the film was not this bad, or as LS as Tera Mera Saath Rahen. agreed it was no ‘tare jameen per’. as an aside, i feel that our snicker-propensity is higher while judging some one like ajay, as compared to, say aamir 😀

  3. Thank God I did not see this movie…BTW you have got a very good memory…not many remember movies like Tera Mera Saath Rahen, you remember some dialogs as well:lol:

  4. Why are you wasting blogspace reviewing insignificant and irrelevant films like U, Me Aur Whatever and Race while there is so much happening out there? Sourav’s twin 87s, the start of IPL…

  5. “That’s not Alzheimer’s disease madam. That’s just marriage”.
    Film stars knows the cure for boring marriages 😉

  6. It’s really not that bad but like most movies it falls into the “half” trap- in this case, the first half is irrelevant and irritating, while the second half is quite decent.

    The cruise portion could have been used well to develop the love story (somehow love at first sight with a cocktail waitress seems implausible) that would have made some more sense in the second half, i.e. after she is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

    And I did hate the lifted jokes and scenes (“FRIENDS”, “50 first dates”, just abhout every chick flick ever made- you name it).

  7. There is so much cheesiness in Hindi movies these days, I think, we can start supplying cheese to Europe.

    And the cheesiness is obviously affecting the quality of my comments. Will stop here.

    Rohan
    Daily Humor

  8. “At that point of time, I had to interject : “That’s not Alzheimer’s disease madam. That’s just marriage”.”
    haha…..the best part of the post

  9. I fully agree, dude.

    What do you have to say on that sleazy child-naming part. The fu_ _er part?

    And one more thing, why have all the websites given the movie such positive reviews?

  10. Dear all,

    Like we all look forward to movie reviews is there any chance good for nothing fellows like me can await review/comments on sundry other stuff like blogs (let’s say someone takes off on stuffwhitepeoplelike with its thousands of inane responses to just 95 posts & yet a gazillion hits).

    Or is it ungentlemanly to peep at the next man’s instrument & snigger?

    What say Greatbong? Are you going to treat us to this fare?

  11. let me ask one question was anyone expecting anything better?

    guys but tell me about “khuda Key liye”. what is ur recommendation GB?

  12. “…there was more than a few snickers”
    1. Is it sniggers? Or, you are the type who takes a chocolate for every silly gag inflicted upon you? 🙂
    2. “were”?

    This article seems to have missed your QA process!

  13. numerous moments in the movie reminded me how similar the picturization is to a horror movie.. kajol has come of age :D..

  14. Just watched ‘Shurya’ and it is much much better than this u and me shit..
    Wasted 20 bucks on couple ticket and 10 more on popcorn and soda.
    horrible watch.. and that screw eye reviewer ‘Taran Paadarsh’ gives it 4 stars.. 🙂

    nice post GB.. your post is actually much better than the movie..

    Thanks,
    Tarzan

  15. V

    – Khuda ke liye is indeed a good movie. Must see. You’ll be surprised to see a mature movie from a relatively unmatured pakistan cinema.

    LOL @ “That’s not Alzheimer’s disease madam. That’s just marriage”

  16. GB,
    Been waiting for a post on IPL and its ridiculous media norms… i know ur not exactly a cricinfo fan, but im sure u’ll agree that the restrictions imposed on them are to the detriment of cricket.
    What say?

  17. Very interestingly, a few people liked the film very much ( like 3 stars and all on rediff)- though I absolutely agree with every point on the review- the movie deserved “Yes some things are better forgotten. Bad love, bad food and of course “U Me Aur Hum””

    I am not sure how people who hadn’t seen notebook found it, actually it was a nice theme, and the director could have done a much better job out of it.

  18. An interesting plot twist would be if Kajol was suddenly cured – she is subjected to late night soft porn on Sun TV of the old days for three days, and it leaves an indelible impact on her memory, by which she remembers everything for ever!

  19. I decided I won’t see this movie the moment I heard the song, “maine toh maanga tha… saheli jaisa saiyya”. What does she want? A husband who will sit with her and discuss the shades of lipstick, nail color and stuff… or a guy who will join her with his version of “Men are such dogs ya” statements…

    Ajay Devgan a la Mills n Boons? The ladies are going to get nightmares!

    “That’s not Alzheimer’s disease madam. That’s just marriage” was a gem. I like 🙂

  20. “That’s not Alzheimer’s disease madam. That’s just marriage”.

    Gem. And thats just so true. 🙂 Amazing that they chose Alzheimers amongst so many diseases. Its almost unheard of in SE asia and generally affects 65 people. Maybe it just sounds cool. “Hey do you know what disease my gf has? No no no not your common cold or cancer. She has Alzheimer’s disease.”

  21. Funny, of course, and as expected from the great bong 🙂 What has been really irritating about this movie is the promos that are being aired on TV and Radio. As though the whole country should be keenly following everything that is said about this movie.

    On an aside, how come your disclaimer post (the latest one) was removed from your site? I got it in RSS feed 🙂

  22. Can’t believe people are comparing this movie with The Notebook almost like the latter is the three Godfather’s rolled into one.
    GB, I think you are getting lazy and falling into your own trap. Hey, everybody seems to love the way I trashed those b-movies, so lets keep them happy with some more. I can almost see you buying your jumbo popcorn and regular coke, sniggering all the way about how much fun you are going to have trashing this one.
    “U Me Aur Hum” doesn’t even make the attempt? I think you missed a beat there. Devgun makes a decent attempt at a sensitive movie, staying painfully within the boundaries of commercial hindi cinema. Were there scenes/jokes lifted from other movies? Yes of course, this is a hindi movie we are still talking about, where copyright is the right to copy. But was there originality somewhere in there? Dont even bother to answer that.
    Is it a great movie? No, it falls short in more than one way. But I noticed you didnt bother commenting on the performances, probably deeming it unworthy of comment. Thats another trap for the critic with a set agenda to label something as trash, they tend to ignore the good bits.
    BTW, I am a fan and hope to remain so.

  23. Guys, read the following exchange on the rediff message board (for a review of U Me Aur Hum, or what the review called UMAH)
    :

    by Jhandu Singh on Apr 15, 2008 03:14 PM

    the film is gud.infact i know the story of a similar couple
    they were happily married..but the guy was gud actually….and he loved his wife too.
    however, things turned bad when the couple got into family way.
    there was apprehension in the family, plus the old members of the family were very keen that they should have a baby boy.
    As things went, the lady ultimately gave birth to a boy.
    now they are happy

    by Hawk Hawkeye on Apr 16, 2008 10:30 AM
    Tune naam sahi rakha hai apna. How is the story that you told simillar to U ME aur HUM’s story??

  24. @GB:

    Sorry ! I realise that you wont be thrilled to see reproductions of asinine comments from rediff message-board on your page. But as one demented mind , i thought you would be interested to know how other demented minds work!!! 🙂

  25. This is a bit random but I had watched the shooting of Tera Mera Saath Rahen, I went for the movie simply to see if I could see myself on screen. No, didn’t make it.

  26. HaHa,..

    Noone cud do so right a justice to this Movie’s Review.. 😀 lol..

    Well…same feelings…Irrelevent..Irrelevent…dunno why even it was all there…i felt i was sitting watching some stupid daily soap..Phew…dunt even wanna remember…It cudnot evn come to dat level…the first half was ignorably forgettable…Wen in the second you started to think may be smthing is dere(worth)…blah…..

    This problem arises when you cant bring yourself to decide what to put and what to just edit out…

  27. Pingback: U Me Aur Hum - Review » without giving the movie away…

  28. Pingback: U me aur Hum = Ho-Hum | DesiPundit

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