Cholche Cholbe

[Cholche Cholbe–a famous CPM slogan that basically says “Whatever we are doing will go on”, a great ode to mediocrity]

We all heard the IPL Knight Riders theme song—that rousing anthem which was supposed to inspire Shahrukh Khan’s team.

It has since changed—to the right in bold face is the new theme song.

Jeetne aaye hai, Jeet ke jayenge,
Unme se Hum nahi
Maat jo khayenge
Jeetne aaye hai,Jeet ke jayenge
Lakh roke koi,Hum fateh payenge

We are too hot,we are too cool
All are King’s men , We Rule
We are too hot,we are too cool
Ami Kolkatar , We RULE.

Korbo Lorbo Jitbo re,
Korbo Lorbo re, jitbo re, jitbo re
Karenge Larenge Jeetenge
Jeet Jaayenge, Jeetenge, Jeetenge

Saara Jahaan Piche ,
Hum to Chale aage
Dushman Jo Dekhe Humko,
Dum Dabake bhage re bhage
Saara Jahaan Piche,
Hum to Chale aage
Dushman Jo Dekhe Humko,
Dum Dabake bhage re bhage

We are too hot ,We are too cool
All are King’s men,We Rule
We are too hot, We are too cool
Ami Kolkatar,We RULE.

Hagne aaye hai ,Hag ke jayenge,
Is mein sharam nahi
Sabse maar khayenge,
Shahrukh ko lootne aaye hai, Lootke jayenge
Lakh roke koi, Humare phat jayenge

Our Hussey is hot,Our Butt is cool
All are King’s men,We are jhool [1]
Our team in a rot,but We cool
Ami Kolkatar , CPM RULE

Harchi, haarchi, Haarbo re ,
Haarchi Haarbo re,Haarbo re , Haarbo re
Haarenge Haarenge Haarenge
Sab harenge, Haarenge, Haarenge

Saara jahaan aage ,
Hum to chale peeche
Dushman Jo dekhe humko
Khub Hanse re hanse
John Buchanan peeche ,
Uska beta aage [2]
Aur Dada ko leke
SRK phaanse re phaanse

Agarkar’s hot ,Ponting’s a fool
All are King’s men , worse than Trinamool
The night is hot, buke chool [3]
Ami Knight Rider ,BIG BHOOL

[1] Jhool: Bangla for dirt that hangs from ceiling.

[2] John Buchanan’s son Michael Buchanan is also on the payroll of the Knight Riders. It’s a family deal.

[3] “Buke chool” means “hair on chest” in Bangla.

I really feel sorry for Shahrukh Khan. Now long-time readers know that I am no fan of the great Khan. But one has to accept that of all the owners. he has emotionally (and perhaps financially) invested himself most into his franchise doing virtually everything, from publicity, marketing,buzz creation, to signing the checks and teaching the players dance steps with single minded devotion.

The least thing he could have expected was that the cricketing brains he had put his faith in would repay him by at least getting half-decent players for his rather considerable investments. Instead they got a number of batsmen with questionable credentials (Butt, Hafeez and Taibu), a chronically under-performing T20 megastar (David Hussey), a horribly out-of-form master (Ponting). Not to speak of Dada, the icon player who came with the franchise’s furniture, consistently all at sea in this paradigm of the game.

SRK, for all this enthusiasm and drive, deserves better. Here is sincerely hoping he gets it.

56 thoughts on “Cholche Cholbe

  1. SRK wearing a synthetic hair wig? Not the right way to hides his swollen head.

  2. oshadharon lyrics, hats off…
    i wonder if ur hope gets fulfilled, cant see any reason why the loosing streak should end.

  3. SRK invested most emotionally….what abt PZ giving hugs to the lesser mortals πŸ™‚

  4. all teams iconing fab 4 are at the bottom of the table…is it a coincidence?

  5. @vaibhav…may b thts physical investment πŸ˜‰

  6. but then they have won 2 mathces and lost 2…50% result..10 match abhi bhi hai.. y write them off so early GB!!!.. jab tak “THE END” na aaye, “Picture abhi baaki hai” πŸ™‚

  7. @Vaibhav: Indeed that is noble too. But you have to accept SRK just does everything PZ does. And more.

    @Vishesh: No I have not lost faith. I would sincerely like them to come back…it would be a good underdog story. Though making his team an underdog may not have been what SRK thought at the beginning of the season.

  8. Why so depressed? Look at Mumbai Indians the most expensive team. As expensive as Real Madrid…. and as ineffective too!!

  9. Could not agree with you more on this…Shahrukh seems to have gone out of his way to make his players comfortable…lots of publicity, freebies and not to mention, personal attention yet they have failed time and again. This team is just not gelling at all!!

  10. Yeah, I think SRK deserved batter (pun intended). The batting has failed. The bowlers are not able to capitalize on initial momemtum. They can’t contain the team in sub-150 total.

    I am really hoping that KKR becomes a turn-around story though its not based on any logical deductions.
    Btw, what do you think of Gan-Gul-y and Warney controversy?

    Dada is not in form but you can’t leave him on the bench for whatever reasons. Unfortunately, he is the most in form batsman for KKR.

    To end, another dramebaazi:
    IPL abhi baaki hain mere dost.

  11. GB when are you going to write about films again?

  12. I pity for Ranadev.

    Looking at CSK and their Gony, I seriosuly feel Ranadev would have got a chance had he played for a different team.

  13. They are going down. They did make a great start.

  14. Don’t worry, SRK will re-born as a Bangla 20/20 cricketer after 30 years and will win back all the money. Gaurav Ganguly will be the villain (i mean rival captain) at that time.

  15. @V…agree with u…its been too much of IPL anyhow…pls give us sthelse…movies or Ms. Rice comments tht world food shortage is because of Indians eating more or anything but cricket.

  16. Hi GB,
    I didn’t like this post. The quality of sarcasm is far below the RTDM standards. It seems you were really miffed after seeing KKR’s performance against Rajasthan. It’s painful to see a post like this immediately after the gem of a post β€˜Indian Premier League—Team Reviews ’

  17. offtrack comment… Please comment .. cheers !!!

  18. Arnab da,

    firstly good lyrics.. u might wanna try ur hands on some bengali cinema now..mimoh chakrabarty/locket chatterjee/ swapan saha/aquatica/rain dance/wet sarees.. ulti guru(maximum master)think about it..

    secondly dada.. i thought he has changed.. but was wrong.
    ponting: ya sure mate u got what u wanted from IPL- greens
    mac koolaam( as bongs say):lets face it it was a one time show in bangalore, the opening match, just like 6 sixes in an over, he is not that a good batsman..
    hussy: people do confuse him with his brother untill they see his batting..
    hafeez: do me a favour add khuda before his name..
    ajit agarkar: a vegetable is better that that thing..

    come on arnab da this team can never win..(though a tiny itsy bitsy corner of my heart always prays 4 them to win. its not warth but frustration comming out.

  19. I think the KKR team can at best win another two more matches (against Mumbai and Bangalore). However SRK should not loose his head over this. Hopefully next season there will be bigger window for the IPL. This is the team I would play –

    1. Gayle
    2. McCullum
    3. Ponting/Akash Chopra (depending on Punter’s form)
    4. Ganguly (can’t drop him)
    5. LR Shukla
    6. Das
    7. Karthik/Hodge (depenging on whether Punter is playing)
    8. Agarkar
    9. Dinda
    10. Gul
    11. Sharma
    12. Saha (for refreshments and substitutions)

    Now that does not look like a bad team to me. Just sell Akthar and get some money !

  20. I agree with Sayandip…not as good as it shud be when its from the Master…Sayan we must remember even top class cricketers are out of form some times…in dada’s (not Sourav but greatbong) case its a rare one…

  21. Are yaar, at least they are doing better than the two teams that had the highest bid (if I am not wrong), Bangalore and Mumbai !

  22. “All are King’s men , worse than Trinamool”

    I laughed out LOUD at that! πŸ˜€

    And the KKR has a kickass player in Iqbal Abdulla – India U19 world cup player, 10 wickets at an average of just 13. Has the best figures in the country (I think) in a domestic T20 match. That is five wickets in four overs for ten runs or something.

    Having him in your team and NOT playing him is daft.

  23. You seriously have been bitten by the IPL bug! Last four posts of yours has been about this megalomaniac event.

  24. g.b.:

    good to have someone share in the misery – at least you folks didn’t get a test team (sheep in wolves’ clothing) like bengalooru did!

    – s.b.

  25. In Calcutta, Mithun’s team is the only one that matters.

  26. Agreed their team selection isn’t much efficient, however the way Shahrukh gets his money’s worth is by generating and capitalizing on the hype and popularity created by his team (compared to whats spent on the team I suppose prize money’s what he’s least interested in). Winning matches is perhaps the best way to achieve that strature, however drawing an analogy to say football clubs in Europe, which IPL team do you think would sell most merchandise? Which team do you feel has the most sponsors? Which team has the most popular player (if you didn’t get that I meant dada :)). SRK may not’ve created a winning team, however he’s successfully created a popular team, which’s perhaps not all bad in IPL world :).

  27. Hey there!
    awesome post man
    i was ROTF!!
    rite from the first line =))
    great one greatbong πŸ˜‰

    ~$udhi πŸ™‚

  28. Hmm…
    long time admirer of your posts…
    This is probably your worst post πŸ™‚ I normally find some comedy in your posts… but found that totally missing in this post…

  29. W.r.t Abhishek Sheopory links, the last graphic just shows that the kolkata fans are fanatic…Unfortunately their team sucks..

  30. Knightriders sliding to their fourth straight defeat. Not even Bangalore has managed that yet.

  31. last_commentator May 3, 2008 — 5:12 pm

    GB, I can understand ur feelings. But I think KKR loosing badly drives home the point again that cricket is the real winner. Extreme overhype and media frenzy with SRKs, Rampals, Gandhis and Vadhras can not replace the good old performance on the field. The supposedly week teams of Royal challengers and Rajasthan Royals are still winning because they know their limits and play accordingly unlike most of the spoiled brats of KKR.

    And regarding the financial investment made by SRK and Mehta, it is their own fault. How can you invest your considerable amount of money without knowing anything about team structure and performance? Do anyone invest his/her money in options-trading without knowing what a stock or bond is?

    Its one thing for Mallya and Ambani to loose their 0.0001% money on some sport they like. But setting himself at par with Ambani and Mallya was plain stupidity for SRK. Its good that he’s been brought down to ground sooner than later.

  32. last_commentator May 3, 2008 — 5:14 pm

    Sorry its should be “weak teams”

  33. The last line could be also like:

    “Ami Knight Rider ,BIG CHOOL”

  34. Today was especially disappointing. Piyush Chawla hitting like that in the last over? Wow! Sadly, Ganguly has been the most disappointing. For some reason, he, along with Dravid, has reminded me of Amitabh’s ‘shing bhanga bachhur’ dance number in Lal Badshah with Shilpa Shetty, the one in which he is desperately trying to be 28 again…

    The first match was won because of a freak innings by Makhalaam McCullom. The second was a fluke due to the pitch. KKR has been found out after that. Maybe if Gayle wasn’t injured & Ponting in better form, it might have been different. As of now, it seems Knight Riders will ride away in the night to escape an agry mob of supporters.

  35. Intentionally or not, Dada seems to have selected a crop of players with some particular traits. All good teams in this IPL have at least one good young Indian ODI player, which lends balance to the team as you can play only 4 foreigners. Not Dada and Dravid, probably the didn’t want the ones to whom they lost their ODI place in the first place.

    And at least I wasn’t surprise when he chose Ajit ‘Allrounder’ when he had the whole universe open to him in the auction. Whether his picking up a lot of wickets giving away so many runs works or not, he is always known as ‘yes man’ of the old timers. Just look at the other players, Debabrata Das misses one crucial catch every match and believes in only boundaries and then plays 2-3 dot balls without rotating the strike. Gul, Ishant gives away at least 10 runs each through misfielding every match.Soemhow all these players come from the same ‘Dada school of cricket’ which sadly is incompetent at least in T20 format.

    Whatever Dada and Dravid wanted to prove by choosing such teams, they have just underlined the fact that not only they will always be bad T20 players themselves, but their thinking is also as backdated as WG Grace when it comes to IPL.

  36. Oops! Another loss!

    This way Mumbai seems to be heading for some company at the bottom of the table!

  37. Lol.

    But look at the bright side: It might just make Shahrukh Khan shut up!

  38. @GB
    Hilllllarious post as usual.. Laughed … Ha ha .. hugne aaye hain.. Hagke jaaenge..

    Tumhara mooh mein Ghee Shakkar… πŸ™‚
    Villans ka milan .. hoga not KKKK Kiran but KKKKKR..

  39. on the positive side : the Kolktata team has brought out a few youngsters who show promise, wriddhiman and laxmi batted / kept wickets bravely. i wish the other took a page out of their books…

    i think male cheerleaders (also called ‘cheerboys”) are a bad omen; look what they did to the bombay & calcutta teams!

  40. @ Aditya: Yenna Rasscalla… How dare you challenge Deccan Charger’s position at the bottom of the table. As a loyal Chargers fan, I take offence! C’mon man… we’ve been beaten even by the old-age home team of B’lore! How much lower do you want us to stoop? It is physically impossible!

    GB: I empathize with your frustration… My team’s doin no good either. But hope still prevails over better sense 😦

    When this all began, the odds put (Hyd)DC first and (Jai)RR last. As of today, it’s the exact other way round. I agree with last_commentator when he says that cricket is the winner. No other solace 😦

  41. walker, whats it with Yenna Rascalla. Nobody speaks like that in hyd or guntur or chennai or thiruvannamalai or chikmagalur or trichur, if you get my drift – in the history of mankind, one person, Mehmood spoke like that. Nobody outside a Hindi Film speaks like that. If you want to parody, why cant you do it intelligently or smartly?

    BTW, I almost thought jeetbo, korbo as a parody of Bengali. It turns out that it is just poor, bad usage that only a bollywood mind can think of, going by Greatbong’s previous post.

  42. Yenna Rascalla Raj, mind…. er… don’t mind it. We are like this only!

    TheWalker – you have my sympathies. Mumbai has disconcertingly started winning and all – rather unfamiliar territory. I think slapping Sree was the best ting Bhajji did since that series against Aus where he ripped them an extra orifice or three. Now that there is actually a competent captain at the helm, we’re destined to be middle-tablers 😦

    Mind you the way Bangalore imploded today, I think you guys are going to have competition for the wooden spoon!

  43. aditya, seriously, you think thats funny? Man, how bollywood has damaged India!

  44. @Raj:

    Loosen that constricting tie or the tight trouser, and just call Aditya “Yenna Rascala” back. Or even “baaler chhal” if you want to give him a Bangla gaali.

    In any case, a look at your own humor quotient is in order… πŸ˜€

  45. wow this is resembling a rediff message board

  46. shan, I have my standards in humour. GreatBong for instance. Now, thats humour(most of the times, anyway). You have proved my point anyway.

  47. Shan:

    I’d prefer an “Abbe Saale!”, if you please. Haven’t been given a proper Bambaiyya gaali since seven o clock this evening πŸ˜€

  48. Finally ….that too a close match with the miserable Bangalore Royal Challengers. I guess at best we can win one or two more this season.

  49. Otha Aditya,if you want profanities in Tamil or ‘madrasi’, atleast learn a few real ones instead of cluelessly throwing some non-offensive, meaningless word formations pioneered by a non-funny comedian and re-popularized by a useless actor.

  50. Dumdum_er_Aantel May 9, 2008 — 12:06 pm

    Very substandard and *unnecessary* post!!!!

  51. I think the teams with the most publicity blitzkrieg/hype have ended up towards the bottom – case in point being the Mumbai Indians and the Kolkatta Knight Riders.

    But I think its still early days – the tournament has another half in which we can expect a rebound from non-performers.

  52. hey and forgot to say! lolz @ the Kolkatta Knight Rider’s theme spoof!!

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