[No this is not a post on Hayden’s retirement]
It all started when I came to know that Noddy telling Big Ears “Let’s have a gay time in the woods” did not mean that they were going for flowers a-plucking but possibly to do something that simply rhymes with plucking.
Barely had I recovered from that shock then I was told of the subtext in the dynamics of the relationship between my two favorite superheros—dynamic duo Batman and Robin. Suffice to say, there were many activities happening in the darkness of the batcave that Alfred “Penny(s)”worth kept hidden from the world.
Finally it was revealed by wise men that Prince Adam’s transformation from a pink-wearing softie to a muscle-bound confident “He-Man” was a metaphor for “coming out of the closet” and that the secret of Prince Adam, the one that the Sorceress and Man-At-Arms knew, was not the one we were led to assume.
In the middle, Dumbledore’s orientation was exposed but since I was never into the Harry Potter thing, I was least affected by that information.
Today I came to know that my boyhood hero Tintin, yes that tufty-haired inveterate reporter who closed down the Mafia in Chicago and made friends with the Yeti and fooled the Incas, has been “outed” by researchers [Link courtesy: Abhik Bhattacharya] Yes it’s true. If we are to believe the dossier of evidence, there was always something more than meets the eye behind Tintin and Captain Haddock living as a happy twosome in Marlinspike Hall as a couple (now I understand why Nestor always was listening in on the doors), of Tintin becoming so emotional for his Chinese “friend” Chang and of Thompson and Thomson with a “p” silent as in “gay” wearing colorfully exotic clothes when in disguise.
The cornerstone for the argument of the scholars is that neither Tintin nor Captain Haddock nor Rastapopulous ever had any female friends. Which implies they are all gay. And that implies that “Society of Sober Sailors” is a code-name for a group of men who follow the life-style and that Red Rackham’s Treasure has less to do with the treasure and more to do with the “ham”.
But by the logic that anyone who does not have female friends is necessarily fond of the same sex, all Indian men in engineering colleges would have to be gay. But wait. If you dream about women, then not to worry. You are straight. Which is why just because Asterix and Obelix dream of “long limbed beauties” [interesting possibly NSFW picture] they are not considered to be gay even though Obelix is frequently drawn with a phallic object called a “men”hir at his back.
Now I wait, with trepidation, for the day when researchers analyze why Feluda, despite being so handsome and always carrying heat in his pocket, was never interested in any woman, why Lalmohan Babu was so interested in Feluda’s ” measurements” in Sonar Kella, what were the exact nature of the “experimentations” that female-company-bereft Professor Shonku conducted on his servant Pralhad, what was the exact nature of the relationship between Pelaram and Habul Sen and what where the nocturnal hobbies of Chacha Chowdhury’s rather queerly-dressed “man Friday” Sabu.