And He's Out !

[No this is not a post on Hayden’s retirement]

It all started when I came to know that Noddy telling Big Ears “Let’s have a gay time in the woods” did not mean that they were going for flowers a-plucking but possibly to do something that simply rhymes with plucking.

Barely had I recovered from that shock then I was told of the subtext in the dynamics of the relationship between my two favorite superheros—dynamic duo Batman and Robin. Suffice to say, there were many activities happening in the darkness of the batcave that Alfred “Penny(s)”worth kept hidden from the world.

Finally it was revealed by wise men that Prince Adam’s transformation from a pink-wearing softie to a muscle-bound confident “He-Man” was a metaphor for “coming out of the closet” and that the secret of Prince Adam, the one that the Sorceress and Man-At-Arms knew, was not the one we were led to assume.

In the middle, Dumbledore’s orientation was exposed but since I was never into the Harry Potter thing, I was least affected by that information.

Today I came to know that my boyhood hero Tintin, yes that tufty-haired inveterate reporter who closed down the Mafia in Chicago and made friends with the Yeti and fooled the Incas, has been “outed” by researchers [Link courtesy: Abhik Bhattacharya] Yes it’s true. If we are to believe the dossier of evidence, there was always something more than meets the eye behind Tintin and Captain Haddock living as a happy twosome in Marlinspike Hall as a couple (now I understand why Nestor always was listening in on the doors), of Tintin becoming so emotional for his Chinese “friend” Chang and of Thompson and Thomson with a “p” silent as in “gay” wearing colorfully exotic clothes when in disguise.

The cornerstone for the argument of the scholars is that neither Tintin nor Captain Haddock nor Rastapopulous ever had any female friends. Which implies they are all gay. And that implies that “Society of Sober Sailors” is a code-name for a group of men who follow the life-style and that Red Rackham’s Treasure has less to do with the treasure and more to do with the “ham”.

But by the logic that anyone who does not have female friends is necessarily fond of the same sex, all Indian men in engineering colleges would have to be gay. But wait. If you dream about women, then not to worry. You are straight. Which is why just because Asterix and Obelix dream of “long limbed beauties” [interesting possibly NSFW picture] they are not considered to be gay even though Obelix is frequently drawn with a phallic object called a “men”hir at his back.

Brilliant logic.

Now I wait, with trepidation, for the day when researchers analyze why Feluda, despite being so handsome and always carrying heat in his pocket, was never interested in any woman, why Lalmohan Babu was so interested in Feluda’s ” measurements” in Sonar Kella, what were the exact nature of the “experimentations” that female-company-bereft Professor Shonku conducted on his servant Pralhad, what was the exact nature of the relationship between Pelaram and Habul Sen and what where the nocturnal hobbies of Chacha Chowdhury’s rather queerly-dressed “man Friday” Sabu.

77 thoughts on “And He's Out !

  1. Amazing 🙂

  2. Hilarious as ever!

  3. well written…..

  4. A correction. Tintin never lived in Marlinspike. He was a frequest visitor there though. Haddock and Calculus used to live in Marlinspike.

    And Tintin gay! These guys are out of their minds. Tomorrow for all you know they might say that Supremo( remember him!!) is gay ( since he had no female friends)!! Mandrake is bi ( Lothar is always on his side)!! and what not.

    Feluda an lal Mohan!! bhaggish Felu and topesh boloni… eke baare incestous gay relationship! Also Ram and laxman and hanuman in the jungle!! 🙂

  6. And next we’ll find out Shaktimaan doesn’t marry Gita becuase his whole Bal Brahmachari act is a charade…sheesh people really need to get a life…though to be honest I’ve always wondered about Chacha Chowdhary and Sabu…disturbing as it may seem.

  7. Asterix and Obelix are not gay.
    They both oggle girls whenever they can and beat up smart, hunky Roman centurions.

    And those Menhirs are just backups, for Obelix, in case he had too much to eat.

    They didnt have Viagra in those days.

  8. Brilliant as usual!! Only you could have extrapolated this to Feluda, Lalmohan Babu & Prof. Shanku. Priceless [:)]

    “But by the logic that anyone who does not have female friends is necessarily fond of the same sex, all Indian men in engineering colleges would have to be gay”

    ROTFL [:D]

  9. Vyomkesh Bakshi and his assitant
    Devdas and Chunnibabu
    Amarsingh and Mulayam

    REsearch will go on

  10. The case of another superhero

    Dhoni and Pankaj Advani are a couple…They visited “Robin Uthappa’s farmhouse, taking every one by surprise, including the media.” in Coorg…
    “A relaxed Dhoni and Advani were at Nakoor on Friday and Saturday, enjoying themselves amidst verdant surroundings and serene nature of Kodagu” (
    When I read the article about Dhoni’s holiday in TOI (,prtpage-1.cms) my mind wandered…The Indian Captain has never been paired with a woman…Maybe, maybe not…

  11. There goes my obsession with childhood heroes… Now I can’t read a Feluda without dirty images creeping up in my mind. Its like imagining your parents having sex, or in other words, disgusting. I read somewhere Tintin clearly gels his hair everyday and therefore the gay slant. Do you then think Nonte Fonte was also cooking up a storm threesome with Keltuda?

  12. Jesus! Very hilarious and very sad too. Its a kind of mentality that you have to be joined at the hip with a female 24*7, else you are gay. You can say that you dont like old meat, you take every opportunity to taste new meat, you like male company, visit strip clubs and brothels, but people will still ask that question. Its the Comedy Central effect. Heh in USof A….you are gay by default for doing certain things. As an example, I bought some pink hangers in Walmart on my first trip there. So I am gay! I have a friend from Brazil who was an university swimmer. So when we were at Miami beach, he became a sure gay in the eyes of they guys there- as he wore a speedo.

    Due to a weird combination of religious influence and polarized views (Propositions 8 et all), the USA is obsessed with gays. Whatever the USA media obsesses with, the rest of the world copies. This is just an effect of that.

    Yes I wait with trepidation too for the day when people say that feluda was gay. That day will surely come when there is a Bengali equivalent of Archie comics with Betty and Veronica type characters.

    My theory is as follows:

    1> The UsofA founders were actually puritans and hence very conservative. People here get a shock when they go to topless beaches in France. So sexuality, for all its pretensions still has an aura of tabboo and fascination around it here. That is why people get shocked to see a Miley Cyrus pic or a pantyless Britney Spears. Satyajit Ray and Herge were not born in a country where sex sells. Wheather it be Archie or Nancy Drew files, it is the insinuations and innuendos (sursuri in bengali is a more apt term barring none) about sex which abound in American pop culture.

    2> The downplaying of sex. People like Akbar had harems. But this was not overtly emphasized. Captain Haddock could well have banged many a woman in every port that he landed in, Felduda could have used some of that salary to go to Sonagachi and Lalmohan babu stayed in a part of North Calcutta from where a trip to the brothel was not too far a journey. But they wrote for an younger audience who unlike the younger audience in the US of A, dont grow up on a boyfriend-girlfriend diet.

    “But by the logic that anyone who does not have female friends is necessarily fond of the same sex, all Indian men in engineering colleges would have to be gay.”


  13. Well fantastic as ever! Some people have nothing better to do in life than conduct these idiotic researches (so called!)…

    @ Rituparna: why should sexual imagery be disgusting?? Nonte and Fonte is possible, Keltuda was possibly the sub to Headmasters dom!!

  14. No future research needed. It’s elementary, my dear, as the other legendary gay icon would have said.

    What do you think Tenida’s erect nose signifies? What’s Magaynlal’s knife-throwing all about if not to win over Gayluda from the clutches of Gaynguly in the gayest love triangle ever?

  15. @Akshar

    Amar singh & Mulayam!!!What a thought!!!lol

    Anyway: these guys are all too much. Thank heavens that Ram & lakshman were brothers! My god! the lengths these fools go to make their own sport look like a legit one!

    Hilarious post though! Absolutely funny

  16. what’s this talk of research? I thought the Tintin gay remarks were made by a British MP who happens to be Tory and gay. I think Herge was religiously conservative, a Christian humanist and therefore a bit “late Victorian” in his morality. Besides he was writing for children primarily (though one wonders because there’s no dearth of political themes really!). I agree with a previous commentator’s observation about the American audience’s obsession with musclebound superheroes who prove their red-blooded sexuality explicitly by having pretty girlfriends. Even Batman couldn’t buck the trend. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons (his not having a girl friend) why Tintin is not so well-recognized in the US. Sigh. Who knows? And talking of academic issues surrounding Tintin, there was once a debate in the French (and they know their comics!) Parliament about whether Tintin was politically more Right or Left. Now that should be interesting!

  17. The contradiction in the real world:

    SRK – KJo – have women around them but still gay. Guess the heart wants what the heart wants.

    Calvin and Hobbies – being gay with an imaginary friend….dayam

  18. balalsangh parivar January 13, 2009 — 8:03 am

    Hmmmm Tintin. Those were the days…
    There is a “Tintin in Thailand”. Imagine! Wiki it out….. 😀 .
    There was one take on Tintin where he’s taught the facts of life by a lady he met during a recuperation trip to Austria. I forget the specifics…. some ultra-obscure-funda question they asked in a quiz a long time ago.
    Then there’s this really absurd anarchist comic called “Breaking Out” (as against “Coming Out” 😛 ) which portrays Tintin and Captain Haddock as revolutionaries. And Haddock is married too. You can get this one in bit torrent.

    And GB’s right… the places folk look for gay under-currents is getting absurd! One idiot found gayness in Zulu with it’s “thrusting Assegais and bayonets”, then there was Peter Cartwright who was suggesting Lord Ganesh was a Gay Oedipus, there was this India chela of Wendy Doniger who said Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda were lovers……

  19. And you do know that George(ina) of the famous five also grew up to be a lesbian,. Rigtht? 🙂

  20. Matthew Parris (and many other like him) has essentially applied the ‘gay’ stereotype to a comic character, found similarities, and hence the conclusion that ‘Tintin is gay’. By the same logic I could apply the ‘comic’ stereotype to gay people (It has been done in numerous movies) and conclude that ‘Gay people are comical’. Funny? More on my blog.

  21. @gb,
    Would you have written an article if the research showed tintin was straight ?

    I hope u get my question…

  22. Maybe Raj Thackeray was dumped by a North Indian fellow ..

  23. I am still mourning Tintin’s ‘coming out’, since he was my childhood’s secret boyfriend…and now that you mention all the others too I am feeling sucidal…

    what will us girls do if all the heros were to ‘come out’?

  24. holmes and watson… particularly considering watson’s propensity to ejaculate

  25. Really? I mean you’re really gong to do this to me?!? Noddy and Big Ears? I mean really?

    Now I have to think 150 times before letting my two-year-old watch ‘Make Way for Noddy’ and worry about what kind of messages his little subconscious is imbibing.

    So does that make George from the Famous Five a lesbian-in-waiting? And what exactly were the girls in Malory Towers tucking into during their nightly feasts?

    Someone please write, draw and publish some openly gay comic book super-heroes, detectives and childrens’ story-book characters before every unhitched individual in the wonderful universe of fiction is outed.

  26. brilliant.
    other suspects include calvin, frankenstein (attempts to create a perfect man), Sherlock Holmes, Bugs Bunny (always in drag) and so on.
    but Tintin: how did I not see that???!!!

  27. The purpose of the whole thing seems to be in line with the growing trend to show “gay-dom” to be something thats cool…and not a perversion that all the holy books condemn.

    I mean…all those people who consider this sort of behavior as a perversion will be slapped by a statement like “U know.. Leonardo Da Vinci was gay….and even your hero Batman is really gay..”

    I personally consider these so called “freaks of nature” as perverts who have some psychological problems and that these people were not naturally made so.

    There was a time when the gay had to hide the fact.Will there come a time when the straight will have to do so too?

    Sodom and Gomorrah revisited….

  28. Thank goodness, Karamchand had a female secretary. But now, this gets me thinking about Nagraaj, Super commando Dhruv, Ram Rahim etc. etc.

  29. Mercy! My jewels! :-O Whatever will they come up with next?! That Jeeves and Bertie are a couple?!!

  30. What a daft line of thought. Is this David Baddiel really retiring for good as his comment says?

  31. Now for the Catholic Church, either accept that Jesus married Mary Magdalene, or he was definitely gay.

  32. One of the commenters said Byomkesh Bakshi in the list of gay characters. I would like to remind that BB did love marriage with a girl whom he met while working on one of the cases.
    But I have my suspicions about Feluda and almost 90% of his clients…there is hardly any woman character in so many stories.

    “all Indian men in engineering colleges would have to be gay.”
    Errr excuse me??
    This generalization is so wrong! Being from the same field and also working as lecturer in same I would say around 60-70% guys have female friends in engineering colleges and outside too. Rest are those who r too shy or unsmart or study in Mechanical branch. 🙂

  33. Somewhere Teela is singing sad songs about heart-break…

    BTW, am I the only one thinking the headline about Tintin implies something completely different than that Tintin is gay?

  34. Don Ayan de Marco January 13, 2009 — 2:54 pm

    Any news of Dhritarashtra and Sanjay?

  35. Dhritarashtra was happily married. At least he and his wife were blindly in love. Karamchand as pointed out is not gay though his propensity for biting phallus-shaped carrots may raise a flag or two. Watson was married if I am wrong so there again. [Somehow being married immunizes you from such charges according to researchers] though Sherlock Holmes’s “The Adventure of the Dancing Men” may have had more than one dark secret. Bantool the Great is also someone who spent way too much time building his body and too little time sitting at bars to pass scrutiny.

    @Reema: Engineering students having female friends? Wow. Things have changed since I was a student. Of course to be honest in our days many engineering students did have one female friend. Her name was Pamela Anderson.

  36. I am going for a week to Goa with my friend who is a male. Yes, I am an engineer. Worse still, in the current context, from IIT.
    I hope these idiots don’t come up with a conspiracy theory about Mr.Vajpayee and Dr.APJ Kalam when they both ruled the country together.

  37. Now, don’t tell me anything about Johnny Sako and Jerry Mano(definitely not about Giant robot), that will completely ruin my childhood memories.

  38. I live with male flatmates.. does that make me gay too!?

  39. but what about Ratan Tata and Narendra modi…. both singles, they r sooo much in love!!! investing sooo much into each oder…? valentine gifts…eeh? hihi

  40. Jai and Veeru?
    Gabbar and Sambha?
    Ram and Balram?
    Even the anmol ratans?

  41. On a serious note, I must add that…

    Not many people might know that Mr. Ashok Row Kavi (India’s foremost Gay Rights activist) is a proud and practising Hindu who also trained as a Hindu Monk with the Ramakrishna Mission (another Bengali contribution to the world).

    Ashok Row Kavi writes: “I may be homosexual in a Western sense, but I don’t come from that tradition. I’m trained as a Hindu monk in the Rama Krishna order, and I was in this training when I first came out as a gay man. My counselor in the monastery, who was an older monk himself, said it was my mission to go out into the secular world and organize and work with my people. The monastery and the ashram are not places for you to hide—you need to go and sort it out. So that’s what I’m doing.”

    Ashok Row Kavi also describes how India has drifted from the Vedic acceptance of homosexuality because of the influence of colonial British education.

    Hindu society has been quite accepting and inclusive of myriad sexual identities.

    – Effeminate Shikhandi and Tranvestite Brihannala are accepted for who they are in the Mahabharat.

    – Compiled after extensive research atleast 1500 years ago, much before the barbaric foreign invasions of India, Vatsyayana’s Kamasutra describes gay and lesbian sexual

    – Eunuchs (Transgendered people) are considered auspicious and are welcomed (and rewarded with cash) at sacred rituals such as Hindu weddings and Babies’ Naming Ceremonies (Namkarans) in many parts of India.

    – In fact, there are Hindu temples which are patronized heavily by eunuchs, transvestites and homosexuals. One such temple is located in Tamil Nadu at a remote village called Koovagam, some 30 km from Villupuram district. Every year on a full moon day in May, eunuchs congregate at this temple to worship Iravan — the Temple Deity who is the son of the warrior-prince Arjuna .

    Accepting homosexuality isn’t something new for India — but we have to recover that tradition.

    How many of us know that Article 377 of the Indian Constitution is a colonial British Relic which has been enforcing an archaic Victorian-era law banning homosexuality in India?

    More power to Ashok Row Kavi and his intrepid group of pioneers (Humsafar) who are doing immense work in the AIDS-Prevention Arena.

  42. What about Manmohan Singh and George Bush ?
    You think anything cooking there ? With MMS’s repeated We love you and Bush saying that proudly in yesterday’s conference.

  43. I am amused, but what irritates me most is the fact that there is absolutely no understanding of the ‘male domain’ when they labeled Tintin as gay. Coming to think of it, its disgustingly stupid. I did read an article where feminists complained that ‘adventure’ stories have ignored women because they essentially think its a guy thing to do.

    Now when we utter the line ‘O! Boys will be boys. Will it imply O boys they always do boys’.

  44. @Greatbong

    btw , what is your honest opinion about the gay community?
    …..natural or perverted ?

  45. This research was sponserd by K Jo to phblicise his film ‘Dostana’ to the western viewers…ha ha !

  46. Byomkesh is not gay…he got married to satyabati and had a kid as well…

  47. Don Ayan de Marco January 14, 2009 — 8:54 am

    “Dhritarashtra was happily married. At least he and his wife were blindly in love.”

    For love(rs) is/(are) blind and lovers do not see the pretty follies they themselves commit.

  48. @Bengal Voice: one small correction Article 377 of the Constitution of India deals with “Comptroller and Auditor General of India” and not homosexuality. What you are refering to is Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code which penalizes “Unnatural Offences” (explained to mean carnal intercourse against the order of nature with man, woman or animal).. yeah lesbianism is technically legal!!

  49. Hi GB & All those who have commented,

    I invariably enjoy all the posts and all the comments. They are always so well informed and intelligent and entertaining, inspite of very less moderation. Whenever I am here I feel that i am in esteemed company ( a very high IQ group)and also sometimes feel a bit dumb 🙂

  50. No no Manmohan Singh is not Gay
    He only has a foot fetish….licking Sonia’s feet.

  51. Don Ayan de Marco January 14, 2009 — 1:26 pm

    @Ritu: remember Janne Tu Ya Jaane Na? there was a character in this group…a girl who plays the guitar…is she lesbian?

  52. Ok so Phantom, Bahadur, Mandrake, Lothar are not gay. Add Buz Sawyer to that list.

    Funny to see someone trying to get a discussion going by calling Tintin gay and how he is vehemently opposed.

  53. Hi J,

    You are absolutely correct.

    I meant “Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code”. This Section 377 was drafted in 1860 by Lord Macaulay.

  54. I meant “Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code”. This Section 377 was drafted in 1860 by Lord Macaulay.

    Wow! we are SOOOO Obsolete.

    Do you think we reached Age of Consent yet to have a proper legal system with emphasis on natural rights and laws based on reason alone?

  55. ha ha…this thought never crossed…world is changing…or are we becoming obsolete?

  56. Yep mate, I agree, the applying of “gay” label to everything has gone too far. By a coincidence, Stan Lee is all set to unveil his first gay superhero. Sigh, the gay movement is suffocating. All we straight males can hope for is for most males to become gay while the women remain straight. That ought to make life a nice fuckfest for us! 😀

  57. Arnab da,
    I can imagine the Captain, in Marlinspike House, screaming after reading this news item in the morning paper,
    “Fresh water pirates, baboons, duck billed platypus, ectoplasm, Neanderthal, vegetarians…….”

    Add to it , phone calls from a concerned General Alcazar, an indignant Bianca Castafiore, a horrified Captain Chester & the horrible Jolyon Wagg.

    Colonel Esponza, Dr.Muller, Al Capone, General Tapioca & Rastapopulous must be opening a bottle of champagne somewhere.

  58. @ Savitabhabhi
    Pl. dont go for Mishraji so soon. There are better choices available than a middle age lecherous pen pusher.

  59. Albus Dumbledore himself is gay according to some websites.

  60. Hara hara bom bom January 15, 2009 — 12:36 pm

    What about Nelson and Hardy at Trafalgar, and the legend of Nelson’s dying words “Kiss me Hardy!!”

    Actually, Nelson’s last words were not “Kiss me Hardy”. That was propaganda fodder intended for eager consumption by Empire’s children. Nelson’s actual last words were “Drink, drink. Fan, fan. Rub, rub”.

    Hmmm. Rub, rub? Naval euphemism for something?

  61. Hara hara bom bom January 15, 2009 — 12:40 pm

    Jay “All we straight males can hope for is for most males to become gay while the women remain straight. That ought to make life a nice f**kfest for us!”

    Not too sure about that old chap. Not if the females decide to emulate the male trend.

    Then all we straight males will be left with, is exactly what we were left with before hitting 19. The only solution will be in our hands.

    If you know what I mean.

  62. BalalSangh Parivar January 15, 2009 — 4:33 pm

    Gay Superheroes have been dealt with in Garth Ennis’s “The Boys”…. but Ennis ain’t someone who has a high regard for the superhero genre. I mean, the X-men, Captain America, Iron Man and poor poor Batman has been savaged in ways their arch enemies couldn’t dream of. The series is a worth read… though not as good as his “Preacher”, “Hitman”, “303” and the “The Punisher”(MAX reboot).

    And the Nelson thing… I thought he really wanted to say “Kismet, Hardy”. Kismet as in the Hindi word Kismet…. Nelson had done some service in India. Hardy didn’t and he must have been a cold hearted sea dog to refuse what he thought his master’s last request was. 😛
    While we are at it, here’s a take on the Trafalgar thing:-

    Nelson: “Order the signal, Hardy.”

    Hardy: “Aye, aye sir.”

    Nelson: “Hold on, that’s not what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?”

    Hardy: “Sorry sir?”

    Nelson (reading aloud): “England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability. What gobbledygook is this?”

    Hardy: “Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting ‘England’ past the censors, lest it be considered racist.”

    Nelson: “Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco.”

    Hardy: “Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments.”

    Nelson: “In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle.”

    Hardy: “The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government’s policy on binge drinking.”

    Nelson: “Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we’d better get on with it. Full speed ahead.”

    Hardy: “I think you’ll find that there’s a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water.”

    Nelson: “Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all despatch. Report from the crow’s nest please.”

    Hardy: “That won’t be possible, sir.”

    Nelson: “What?”

    Hardy: “Health and Safety have closed the crow’s nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladders don’t meet regulations. They won’t let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected.”

    Nelson: “Then get me the ship’s carpenter without delay, Hardy.”

    Hardy: “He’s busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo’c’sle Admiral.”

    Nelson: “Wheelchair access? I’ve never heard anything so absurd.”

    Hardy: “Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled.”

    Nelson: “Differently abled? I’ve only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn’t rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card.”

    Hardy: “Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency.”

    Nelson: “Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons.”

    Hardy: “A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won’t let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don’t want anyone breathing in too much salt haven’t you seen the adverts?”

    Nelson: “I’ve never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy.”

    Hardy: “The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral.”

    Nelson: “What? This is mutiny!”

    Hardy: “It’s not that, sir. It’s just that they’re afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There’s a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks.”

    Nelson: “Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?”

    Hardy: “Actually, sir, we’re not.”

    Nelson: “We’re not?”

    Hardy: “No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn’t even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation.”

    Nelson: “But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.”

    Hardy: “I wouldn’t let the ship’s diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You’ll be up on disciplinary report.”

    Nelson: “You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King.”
    Hardy: “Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it’s the rules. It could save your life.”

    Nelson: “Don’t tell me – health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?”

    Hardy: “As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there’s a ban on corporal punishment.”

    Nelson: “What about sodomy?”

    Hardy: “I believe that the government plans on legislation making it compulsory, sir.”

    Nelson: “In that case, kiss me, Hardy.”

  63. Ok all Sanghis sucks. and that [edited]

    is there any certified way to end political pests?

  64. Ohh wow, there is a wannabe politician too.

    India seriously needs a certified pest controller system. Specially since that Anbumani Ramodas became health care minister/specialist.

  65. Lately in the “Homophobe center of the world” The USA, some of the biggest gay bashers and outers have been tumbling out of the closet, albeit accidently by soliciting gay sex.

    I wonder if some of these researchers who “study” the sexual orientation of cartoon characters might not themselves be gay?

    How perverted does your life have to be if all you can wonder when Tintin is grappling with the bad guy is if he has a ‘boner’!

    BTW Sherlock Holmes was inetersted in ‘a’ woman, so maybe he was bisexual. I have my doubts about Feluda though:-)

  66. Yourfan…r u gay?

  67. @ BalalSangh Parivar

    That was very well written. I didn’t see any acknowledgments so I guess it is original. Extremely neat (tips hat).

  68. BalalSangh Parivar January 16, 2009 — 2:56 pm

    Thanks Laboroer… but this ain’t original. Wish I was THAT funny. 🙂
    Found it in an email fwd on extreme Political Correctness. There are a number of such parodies….. most of them from Punch magazine. There were other hilarious pieces too: “Today’s spirit at Dunkirk” (instead of “The Dunkrik Spirit today”), a Canterbury Tales type take on Archbishop Rowan (when he made those controversial statements about Islamic terror and a Pirates of Penzance parody on the War on Terror. Wish I could find those links now…..

    By the way, lemme say that I’ll go postal if any punk says that the Star Trek crew were all gay! You know, with all those tight “a$$ hugging” spandex suits and all dollops of male bonding and machine bonding (with Lft Commander Data).
    Oh cr@p, George Takei did actually come out the closet some time back….

  69. I wonder if some he or she man may come out of imaginations to save some poor farmers of vidharbha tilangana and kerala from the governmental tyranny and stop them from committing suicide.

  70. By the way since balal sangh parivar is talking about homophobes, let me present you the greatest and most revered Homophobe of the world.
    Ohh yes our own papa from vatican city, pope benedict and who other can win that speculative title?

    The Pope has declared that saving the world from homosexual behaviour is as important as saving the rainforests.

    and well did i tell you that India is the country with maximum number of hoplophobes?

  71. @ Pretentious Diva

    Since the issue was brought up, let me assure the absolutely uninterested reader that ALL sanghis do not suck. In fact reading some of the comments in the current post and going back to the website linked to your name(s), it appears that at least some of YOU s*ck!

    While I was wondering what the connection between some of your comments and this blog post, my girlfriend (I’m a severely homophobic male, btw) pointed out that the motive could be simply to draw traffic on to the links provided! Her words, mind you. I never thought so, honest, maa kasam! Forgive her please….she’s always like that, b*tchy and all!!!!

  72. BalalSangh Parivar January 17, 2009 — 10:52 am

    If I had a blog, I would blogwh0re like this too…. very very unpretentiously. I shall link to my Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious blog posts with each syllable of my posts here. I would also put in pics of cute little me winning the 3rd place in the Three-Legged Race in Std-III and post all caps hyperlinks to it. Oh yes, don’t forget to check out my Great-Aunt’s unpretentious Clifton Beach Burqini pictures while you are there… don’t worry, I’ll separately post those links too!
    And for an encore I’ll put some gratuitous screenshots from Mysore Mallige at the landing page and post the link here. You know, the thoughtless Greatbong had rebuffed ardent seekers of the DPS video and all…. but I’m unpretentiously open for business, for ALL, 24/7.

  73. mutt and jeff ..from the comic strip…
    santu and kakababu… crutches and all…. nw the brickbats will come :).. or mayb santu and jojo…???

  74. Lots of Batman and Robin here.

  75. n whers my ipod?? 🙂

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