Advertisement 1: Leading national political party, headquartered in Italy, seeks applications for the post of Manager, Division of Fixing . The ideal candidate for this post should appeal to a strong minority demographic, have at least ten years experience in bookie-keeping (preferably in a leadership position) and possess flexible wrists along with fancy footwork. Job responsibilities will include brokering confidential financial negotiations in a dynamically changing environment. Compensation packages are comparable to the best in the industry including but not limited to being given an MP-ship.
Advertisement 2: Movie career going nowhere? Convicted of illegal possession of dangerous firearms? Charged with having helped terrorists? In the middle of a wife vs sister fight on a Ekta Kapoor scale? Think women keeping their maiden names is a sign of disrespect to the “man”? Overweight, wasted and eyes half shut?
No problem !
We are looking for self-motivated individuals with contacts with Bhailog in Dubai and other Arab countries to become the “Mamoo-in-chief” at a fast-growing, dynamic regional party. Work hours are negotiable and you can even work from jail ! Flexibility is our watchword. If for some reason, you are not able to secure a work permit from the court, your spouse can also discharge job responsibilities, provided she has item number experience [Video] and is a subservient lady who “takes permission from her husband if she has to go for coffee or go to dinner with her friends“.
[Note: The linked video is of the new Ms Dutt]