Advertisements We Did Not See

Advertisement 1: Leading national political party, headquartered in Italy, seeks applications for the post of Manager, Division of Fixing . The ideal candidate for this post should appeal to a strong minority demographic, have at least ten years experience in bookie-keeping (preferably in a leadership position) and possess flexible wrists along with fancy footwork. Job responsibilities will include brokering confidential financial negotiations in a dynamically changing environment. Compensation packages are comparable to the best in the industry including but not limited to being given an MP-ship.

[Link]

Advertisement 2: Movie career going nowhere? Convicted of illegal possession of dangerous firearms? Charged with having helped terrorists? In the middle of a wife vs sister fight on a Ekta Kapoor scale? Think women keeping their maiden names is a sign of disrespect to the “man”? Overweight, wasted and eyes half shut?

No problem !

We are looking for self-motivated individuals with contacts with Bhailog in Dubai and other Arab countries to become the “Mamoo-in-chief” at a fast-growing, dynamic regional party. Work hours are negotiable and you can even work from jail ! Flexibility is our watchword. If for some reason, you are not able to secure a work permit from the court, your spouse can also discharge job responsibilities, provided she has item number experience [Video] and is a subservient lady who “takes permission from her husband if she has to go for coffee or go to dinner with her friends“.

[Note: The linked video is of the new Ms Dutt]

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41 thoughts on “Advertisements We Did Not See

  1. You should be from minoriy community and your thousend crimes would be forgiven. Azharuddin from Hyderabad LS Seat a muslim dominent Seat. Manyata Dutt (former wife of a sufi saint mehraj sheikh who is famous for giving knowladge to Bollywood heroines). Mark My word Mrs Manyta Dutt is going to contest from Lucknow.

  2. Azhar is joining congress. what can we accept from a party whose cabinet minister take the pakistani line on mumbai terror attack and the party not even condemed his statement.

  3. Splendid !!! With the political climate heating up, this is a great post.

    What are the odds of Congress-UPA losing the Parliamentary Polls in April/May 2009?

  4. Unstoppable Price Acceleration = U.P.A

    Unpopular Parties of Assh*les = U.P.A

    Under Pressure Always = U.P.A

    Un Productive Alliance = U.P.A

    Undoubtedly Pakistan’s Allies =U.P.A

    Under Pakistani Authority =U.P.A

  5. The new era of politics begins. Cricketers, filmstars, goons…

  6. Sigh…Such a sad state of Affairs!

  7. Banned from Sports for taking bribe

    Movie career going nowhere

    Been to prison at least twice

    Then welcome to Indian Politics.

  8. Great ads. Need more of these. And as the elections come closer, I’m sure the madness will only get more disgusting, or is it more entertaining?

    Have suggested a speech that Sanjay Dutt can use. And Mamata, Raj & Barkha btw. Do check http://www.rameshsrivats.net/2009/01/100-word-election-speeches-part-3.html

  9. ROFL…Greatbong Jeee yu r the bestest!

  10. GB wats wrong with u!!! it’s been a week since Prabhuji’s movie released (CC2C) and you are still writing these articles!!!
    Has obama, recession, job security, fame etc. sidelined the bhakti, prem and dedication you have ???
    I immediately demand an apology, a review and gungaan of our compassionate Prabhuji.. He’ll forgive you for this delay .. Amen!!

  11. Thanks for publishing these ads which have been there from past 60 or so years and have only spread through referals!

  12. Too brilliant, GB! Still laughing my head off from the second ad!

  13. Seriously GB, with all of this and the rest of the politics being ruled by families, be it Gandhi, Badal and scores of other parties… I really wonder, are we truly such a true democracy as we claim to be??? I think there is some truth in the fact that there cannot be proper democracy without education.

  14. Wow!!! That was great!

  15. Were the fixing charges against Azhar ever proven? A lot of people were implicated in the 90s when the charges first came out, somehow they resulted in just Azhar and a few other non-entities being punished and the rest were allowed to go scot-free. Azar was one of the finest stroke players of the 90s, a fantastic fielder in the days when the other members of the team wouldn’t dive for fear of getting their outfits dirty and one of the most successful captains of Indian cricket. I think the joke on him is in bad taste. The guy is one of the legends of the game, and he deserves to be treated better.

  16. Darun… in fact, most of our actors are getting into politics and our politicians are born actors! Just children of controversies!

  17. waiting for the day when Rakhi Sawant also joins politics…her slogan will be “Roti aur Makaan.. kapade ki zaroorat nahin hai”

  18. hilarious post. Keeping up with traditions, I think your note “The linked video is of the new Ms Dutt” – should be coorected be MRS Dutt. You wouldn’t want to offend dil-ke-acche Sanju Baba

  19. still waiting for the chandini chowk to china review. hurry up man. u think i have nothing better to do then to sit around and wait for ur posts all day long??

  20. @DJ

    From news reports –

    “Congress sources said Azhar would soon be joining the party and contest Lok Sabha elections. The sources indicated that Azharuddin might be fielded from Secunderabad Lok Sabha constituency.

    They dismissed speculation that the former captain would be fielded from the Hyderabad constituency, which is a stronghold of Muslim political party Majlis-e-Ittehadul Muslimeen (MIM), an ally of the Congress. They pointed out that MIM president and sitting MP from Hyderabad Asaduddin Owaisi is also one of Azharuddin’s close friends.”

  21. http://passionforcinema.com/emosonal-atyachar-fanboys-x-rated-version/

    check this out guys!! this is F***ing awesome.. reminds me of the college day versions of various songs!

    Mone pore Ruby rai, Behalai…

  22. Hi,

    U do have a very good sense of humour. This post was simply hilarious. But m waiting for your review of CC2C. The movie is trash, tried to watch it but got irritated in the first 45 minutes. But still I want to read it written by u.

  23. @DJ,

    http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/uncategorized/azharuddin-meets-congress-leaders-may-join-the-party-lead_100145946.html

    Congress sources said Azhar would soon be joining the party and contest Lok Sabha elections. The sources indicated that Azharuddin might be fielded from Secunderabad Lok Sabha constituency.

    They dismissed speculation that the former captain would be fielded from the Hyderabad constituency, which is a stronghold of Muslim political party Majlis-e-Ittehadul Muslimeen (MIM), an ally of the Congress. They pointed out that MIM president and sitting MP from Hyderabad Asaduddin Owaisi is also one of Azharuddin’s close friends.

  24. @pramod
    Dont get fooled ….Azhar has always been in controversy..the way he treated his wife….and the minority card he played when accused of fixing matches.

  25. Azharuddin was a great stokemaker and fielder….but a bad captain and worse role model. I always will be a fan of Azhar the batsman, but not as a potential MP.

    Sanjay Dutt is a great actor but again, bad role model. His recent utterances makes you think that the drug addiction and spell in jail has melted his brain.

    Every time when Annual election is around, these political parties go around scouting for celebs. Do they think people vote based on the celebrities?

  26. India needs another Netaji.
    Jai Hind and Happy Birthday, Netaji.

  27. @joyjit

    thanks for sharing, this was good.

  28. Can that mammoo in chief promote my advertisements of cigarettes with Big Bold Letters that fag will never end?

  29. Whres is kishore ? Everybody is thrashing a south indian Cricketing Hero. Come on kishore Azhar needs a adovocate in this forum to defend himself.

  30. Nominating a candidate is probably 1/4 of the crime. When people vote and elect such “qualified” candidates, they complete the process. Habitual late comer Govinda was elected as MP by voters of Mumbai north (http://164.100.24.209/newls/Biography.aspx?mpsno=4054) constituency, the very same voters who struggle every day to catch their regular commute train on time and for whom every minute is important.
    I doubt if those who express great concern over this situation will ever go to vote to the nearest municipal school on voting day.

  31. BTW Sanju is perfectly OK to say that he is offended by women who dont swap their last names. Marriage is a contract and therefore it depends on the parties as to what theit terms are! If you dont like Sanju’s terms, just move your ass instead of bitching.

  32. Yep if Sanju doesn’t agree for the contract and the condition that the girl won’t swap her name/second name, then he has full right to deny the deal/marriage/contract.

    Also, if some one chooses to bitching instead of moving their ass, its their choice. one can just criticize nothing more than that.

  33. I am not very sure if Arey-ja-haruddin would still prove to be a crowd puller 🙂

  34. @Unpretentious Diva- Well said. You are a true libertarian. Unlike the effeminate faux-libertarians who actually criticized Dutt for speaking his mind.

  35. Please take a look at http://www.ppi.net.in. It’s a new political movement. And it needs support from educated and rational people.

  36. What is PPI? The link does not work

  37. Hara hara bom bom January 29, 2009 — 12:54 am

    @ anonymous “What is PPI? The link does not work”

    Come on, friend, employ a modicum of initiative. It is evident thet the “net.in.” has an extra full-stop at the end.

    Copy paste the link in to the address bar, delete the last “.” and press enter.

    Then “Chiching Phaank”

  38. Another good one GB!

  39. Excellent piece. I also liked your story about Kasai in Bengal. Keep up the good work.

  40. balalsangh parivar February 1, 2009 — 11:32 am

    Is it just me or was Munnibehen Manyata/Dilnawaz a *really* long-in-the-tooth extra? I remember that evil pixie face (I mean it in not-a-good way) from a few videos right from the 90s. Yeah, yeah, I scour the crowd behind the heroine for the more earthy beauties… you would be surprised at what you find! ‘specially the late 90s-mid 2000s era Ahmed Khan troupe had some real cuties…. while Shiamak’s troupe from those days were more, errrr plastic.
    If I remember correctly a pre-Circuit Arshad Warsi’s “Naach Meri Jaan” video featured Munnibehen as a back up dancer too….

    D’oh! The kind of questions that come up if you have a lot of free time… 🙂

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