In the spirit of this silly day dedicated to St. Valentine, I copy the viral “25 random things about me” note from Facebook.
1. I do not like driving. My official “oh ho” reason for that is when I was 8 years old, I was involved in a bus accident that killed the people I was with and I escaped death by falling between dead bodies. For which I have an excessive fear of dying on the road. Now you are free to believe that reason. Or just call it an excuse.
2. I studied in Presidency College for one day in the Economics department. I guess I was trying to follow my father’s footsteps. Didn’t last long.
3. I love cricket. I forget very little about any game I watch. For instance, if I see the highlights of a match I watched sixteen years ago, I can still say things like “This ball he is going to edge to third slip.” This is strange because my memory is in general horrible.
4. I wanted to learn to play the synthesizer when I was a kid. My mother wanted me to learn to play the harmonium. I, needless to say, learnt neither.
5. I also wanted to learn how to break dance. My dad decided it was not something good Bangali kids, with a solid foundation in “kulture”, should be doing. He wanted me to learn swimming. Which I actually did.
6.I find it much easier to make friendships online than in real life.
7. I am always afraid I have offended people. In real life that is. I fear losing friends. I also fear driving. But I think I told you that before.
8.I love Bollywood B and C grade movies. I miss the old tacky Bollywood where the villain (Amrish Puri) would actually be making faces at the hero in the climactic denouement while they would dance together. Mainstream Bollywood has lost that charm of yore, that honesty and the endearing amateurishness.
9. One of the things I want to do is to tie a red bandana around my head and dance the Bachchan shuffle on the road to the tune of “Ami Kolkattar Rosogolla” in front of my shocked “community” (para in Bengali)
10. I suck at small talk in a party with strangers/casual acquaintances. Sometimes when I am in the midst of such a “small talk” session, I just want to shout out loud “Mere naam hain Bullah rakhta hoon main khulla” just to spice things up a bit.
11. I am an agnostic. I do not accept nor do I reject the presence of God.
12. I love Shyamasangeet. Not for religious reasons. I just find them immensely moving.
13. Overtly public displays of affection make me queasy. I am also romantically challenged.
14. My favorite subject in school was History. Least favorite was Geography.
15. If I did not have middle-class anxieties about an assured livelihood, I would have gone into the Liberal Arts—Political Science or English Literature. But I did have anxieties. So I did engineering.
[When I was struggling whether to go to Economics or Engineering, a gentleman of our locality, a very very nice man, asked me “What do you want? A beautiful wife, a secure life or satisfaction?” This made my choice easy.]
16. I loved my school. With the same intensity, I disliked my undergraduate experience.
17. I frequently conduct free concerts in the shower.The water droplets are ,needless to say, my audience. The soap, the shampoo and the towel silently shout in song requests and I mostly oblige.
18. My first attempts at writing anything was a red diary I used to keep when I was about seven. It was in Bangla and now I realize it resembled Twitter feeds.
19. I am hypersensitive to certain types of noise. And to even the slightest of vibrations. This makes living in an apartment with almost cardboard walls and roof (like the one I stay in right now) quite a bad one.
20. I have always wanted to be a published author.
21. Should God exist and if He/She/Amar Singhji encounters me at heaven’s door and asks me my biggest regret I would say “Why did you not make me a better batsman?”
22. A glass of tequila, some good music and politically incorrect talk, without the fear of offending people, amidst a small group of trusted friends. That is good. But alas so rare. So rare.
23. I am sentimental in many ways and rather cold-hearted in many others.
24. I want to go to Egypt before I die.
25. If there is one motto I have, it is this. Go through life by hurting the least amount of people possible.