In the Future

Commentator 1: Welcome to the first game of the Kalashnikov cricket World Cup, 2015 brought live by the Lashkar e Toiba, who proudly tell you to “Live and LET die”. We are at the Kasab stadium in Karachi and the atmosphere I have to say is just electric.

Commentator 2: Who would have thought that after the whole world stopped touring Pakistan on the basis of some unfortunate minor incidents involving players from Sri Lanka in 2009 that we would be hosting an event like this—the World Cup? Of course India, Sri Lanka, West Indies, Australia, England, South Africa have declined to come and the ICC has refused to recognize this as a World Cup. Just like the world refuses to recognize what our textbooks tell us—that we defeated the Indian army totally in the 1971 Bangladesh war and that India is responsible for terrorist attacks in Pakistan and that India is a failed state. But really who cares what they say? It is the World Cup if the avaam say so.

Commentator 1: Exactly. And its not as if we do not have international teams. There is the Bangladesh team. And one from Swat. And one from the Tribal Regions. And of course one from Afghanistan.

Commentator 2: I think the full house today is sending a clear message to the world. Pakistan is a safe country. And security arrangements as we can see are topnotch, being provided by the world’s leading security organization, the Bangladesh Rifles. Noone messes with these badasses, not even their superiors. Let me tell you that all spectators have been thoroughly searched—-you should have seen the number of belt-bombs they had to confiscate outside the sign at the gate that said “No satellite phones, plastic water bottles and remote detonation devices allowed”.

Commentator 1: True. No effort is being spared by the organizers to entertain the packed house. Just before we came on, there was a public stoning spectacle where two girls from the Swat valley who had dared attend a school were pelted with igneous rock near the practice pitches as the band played “We will…we will…rock you”. Nothing like that to get the crowd going.

Commentator 2: I think the best moment was when the giant scorecard flashed the “Happy 21st birthday Shahid Afridi” message. That sent the crowd wild.

Commentator 1: Haha. I thought that was less because of the message but more because of the unmanned predator drone that just happened to fly across the stadium around that time. But I do agree. Truly a Taliban moment of exhilaration.

[Advertisement for “Mystery Kabul Potion”:

Asif: “Mystery Kabul Potion” is the secret of my energy.

Shoaib: No no…our energy… [and starts beating Asif with a bat]


Commentator 2: Welcome back viewers. Now coming to today’s match. Your thoughts janaab?

Commentator 1: Pretty even Stevens. Tribal provinces are playing with 17 players which is a big advantage assuredly. Of course as we know that there is no law inside the Tribal provinces and so we pretty much let them do whatever they want to. Including playing 17 players and carrying rocket-launchers into the pavilion. But then the Swat team is very strong, has been extensively training in a terrorist camp and are in prime physical condition. Rumor has it that their coach makes them do catching practice with live grenades.

Commentator 2: So what happens if someone drops a catch?

Commentator 1: Well then that guy is automatically removed from the team. Yes they are that dedicated to the game.

Commentator 2: In all, has the makings of a fascinating contest.

Commentator 1: Before we sign off, remember to watch our lunch-time show where there will be mid-pitch public executions, brought to you by Mullah Omar Records “The music-less music company” Rawalpindi Web Hosting and Hostages “Our customers never leave. Guaranteed” and Jaish Corporate Recruitment Services “Leave the head-hunting to us“.

116 thoughts on “In the Future

  1. This is sarcasm at its best….

  2. And somewhat macabre too.

  3. Very well done, Arnabda.

    Maybe this is the only valid response left.Pakistan’s security apparatus and Govt demean themselves no end.Can they sink any lower?

    What price failure to provide security to a visiting team inspite of the known dangers? A team that volunteered to fill a gap?

    I was following the NZ game yesterday when I noticed the rolling headline in Cricinfo. For some reason I thought it was a joke, this cannot be happening – not for long – till I noticed Sangakkara’s name.

    After Sachin and Sourav, I count him as my favorite cricketer.A gracious,gentleman and a fine sportsman who rises above national boundaries and represents so much more than just the game he plays.

    I was glued to the computer till 4 AM and am walking wounded today.I never realized I worshipped these guys so much.

    If this happened to ANYONE in the Indian side, it would have been war.

    As usual, the games begin right after the attack..India gets blamed by some in Pakistan’s establishment.

    Have they no shame left at all?

  4. That was very funny. At the same time I could relate to the vexation in your tone. I thought our Indian intelligence agencies were incompetent to even prevent things from happening inside our country, leave alone orchestrating terrorist attacks on foreign soil. But what a bunch of losers. Shamelessly turning the blame game.

  5. ” Advertisement for “Mystery Kabul Potion”:

    Asif: “Mystery Kabul Potion” is the secret of my energy.

    Shoaib: No no…our energy… [and starts beating Asif with a bat] ”


    Just waiting for the day when the taliban will take control over the whole of Pakistan.Something tells me it will happen this year.

    From now the PCB will not have to ponder about where to host their home matches the middle east till things are safe there and then maybe England

    If the Indian team had been touring may be they would have attacked on a larger scale! Just the thought of such a situation sends a chill down my spine.
    When will the Pakistan Administration learn that it can’t blame everything on India.I am sure when the Taliban takes control of Pakistan they will come out saying that all this was a part of a plan by the Indians!!

  6. This is absoluetly brilliant!!!!!

    On a more serious note, this is only the second time ever apparently in modern history at least, that athletes have been targeted by terorists. The only other event was the Munich massacre at the 1972 Olympics where Israeli athletes were attacked. I hope Pakistan realizes for their own good what they have done!

  7. MumbaiMeriJaan March 4, 2009 — 2:22 am

    @Sanchita .. the point is that its not Pakistan anymore that’s doing it i guess. Pakistan has almost got a parallel govt. (with popular support).
    What with the prime minister scared shitless of his own security etc.
    God help the world if the terrorist get hold of their nukes.

  8. This is a quote from Rashid Latif former Pakistan Captain when India canceled the tour of pakistan
    Former captain Rashid Latif said Pakistan should seriously consider cutting off cricketing ties with neighbours India.
    “Our team went to India in 1999 when conditions were worse and there were threats to the players from extremist elements who even dug up pitches at match venues,” said Latif.

    “The Indians need to show more responsibility.”

    and he added

    “It has nothing to do with security,” said Latif. “It is terrible the way the ICC and other boards are insisting on cricket resuming in India. What happened in Mumbai was terrible, but if teams can play in India, why not in Pakistan? It is…

    and this is the statement that he said today.

    “Cricketers have never been attacked in Pakistan despite what the situation has been in the country,” Rashid Latif, a former Pakistan cricket captain, told Reuters. “Today is a black day for Pakistan cricket and a black day for Pakistan.”

    Mr Latif,

    we would have loved had you apologised for your earlier statements. More than anyone else, Pakitani’s should be aware of how bad the security situation in Paksitan is.

  9. Not that Rashid Latif holds much sway in PCB nor is he a super respected cricketer (he is fairly respected for the fair way he played), but still I couldn’t avoid noticing for his comments on the incident yesterday.
    This is a quote from Rashid Latif former Pakistan Captain when India canceled the tour of Pakistan
    Former captain Rashid Latif said Pakistan should seriously consider cutting off cricketing ties with neighbours India.
    “Our team went to India in 1999 when conditions were worse and there were threats to the players from extremist elements who even dug up pitches at match venues,” said Latif. “The Indians need to show more responsibility.” and he also added
    “It has nothing to do with security,” said Latif. “It is terrible the way the ICC and other boards are insisting on cricket resuming in India. What happened in Mumbai was terrible, but if teams can play in India, why not in Pakistan? It is…
    And this is the statement that he released today.
    “Cricketers have never been attacked in Pakistan despite what the situation has been in the country,” Rashid Latif, a former Pakistan cricket captain, told Reuters. “Today is a black day for Pakistan cricket and a black day for Pakistan.”
    Would you mind apologizing for the super optimistic view of Pakistan’s security situation and for wrongly gauging the mental state of militants, who you thought would be so noble as not to target a touring sporting team.

  10. I felt glad after watching what happened to SL team. They deserve it. That idiot Arjuna Ranatunga got what he deserved. They toured Pakistan to show India in poor light and behaved as if they are the only people in the world with balls. Now see what happened. It was very amusing to watch SL cricketers running for their life. If they are really the only team with guts, they should have stayed back and finished the cricket series.

  11. “their coach makes them do catching practices with live grenades.”

    Doesn’t get any better than this.

  12. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! The sad part is, this could be a terrible truth in a few years hehe!

  13. @Kishor: Wow, so Sri Lanka trying to be nice & make some $$ is them trying to show India in a bad light? Relax; just because the Pakistani media sees the Foreign Hand of their Padosi Mulk everywhere just as Indira Gandhi used to, doesn’t mean we need to start seeing conspiracy theories lurking in every corner.

  14. i couldnt help laughing at some of ur jibes, yet there is a gripping chill. what if….?
    some people dismissed atwood’s dystopic ‘a handmaids tale’ as propagandist, striving to shock, etc, but history has shown us that thats exactly what the taliban wud reduce women to given half a chance. how far away are we from this, i wonder?

  15. Brilliant article ..
    @Greatbong : may i dare say that it was long overdue.

  16. This one’s totally ROFL material mate..!!
    Hats off to you..!!

  17. @MumbaiMeriJaan : Not god help the world. God help India. I am sure they would use some Indian city for alpha and beta testing.

  18. I sure hope the half-time show is Imran Khan 😛

  19. brilliant, brilliant sarcasm. i loved the head hunter part.

    somehow it does not look like a piece of fiction. it looks like a peep into the future. thats scary.

    arjuna ranatunga was foolish to have played politics and not cared for the well being of his team. as has been pointed out the SL team was not being brave. they were sent there, just as the Indians were in ’04. the reaction of the SL players on returning to Colombo clearly showed that they were not trying to play rambo and were relieved to be back home alive.

  20. Dark, macabre humour !! ROTFL. I feel sorry for the Lankan team though. Glad none of them got hurt.

    But looks like “The Land of The Pure” got what it asked for in 1947. No wait … There’s (hopefully) more coming their way.

    My parents and grandparents clearly remember the chilling slogans of “Nara-e-Takbir…” and “Pakistan ka naara kya…” and helplessly watched the crimson blood of our kith and kin flowing freely in 1947.

    But me? I remember just one thing – Mumbai 26/11.

    [edited by GB: Let’ keep the hate off please. One hateful comment leads to another. Thank you]

  21. PRICELESS !! But then such a scenario is far fetched…iam sure in the future even afghanistan will refuse to travel to pakistan citing security concerns !!

  22. @Raj,

    Rashid Latif’s brother (or rather step-brother) Shahid Latif lives happily in Kolkata. Maybe, the brother might be able to help convince Rashid..or maybe not.

  23. “So what happens if someone drops a catch?” lol!!

  24. @ Wafa
    Actually, Kishor has a point.
    Sri Lanka has played a very smart game of “whos my best friend” with India and Pakistan, especially after India started losing strategic leverage with the withdrawal of the IPKF..

    Nothing wrong with that, it makes perfect strategic sense for SL to do so (ie, unless they start considering the “Islam factor” and realize the scalding potential of the fire they are leaping over)

    In the past few years, SL had blackmailed military hardware support from India by threatening a more pro-active military tie-up with Pak.
    In fact, during the initial stages of this successful offensive against the LTTE, SLA used multiple barrel launchers gifted by the Paks.

    Monies aside, cricket has often been used as a diplomacy tool in this part of the world, and Sri Lanka’s decision to extend a friendly hand to Pakistan had connotations of a snub to the big bro across Palk Strait.

  25. India is quite well placed, vis-a-vis Pakistan (the state) at this point of time.

    – Balochistan is smoldering. Some Balochis are re-thinking of returning back to their Hindu past. The Shaktipeeth at Durga Hinglaj, one of the holiest shrines of Shakta Hinduism, is getting more and more pilgrims from all cross present day Pakistan.

    – The Afghan frontier is compromised, with NATO and US entrenched in, and the Indian influence sucking drops out of all that was built during th Zia era.

    – Islam is at its glorious best in NWFP, Wast Punjab and Occupied Kashmir, but that is not proving enough to make any big difference in Indian Kashmir.

    [edited by GB. Not germane to present post.]

  26. Amir Sohail’s “1 balls 2 run” english would have been great for this one.

  27. Maybe 10 years before the World War II, people all over the world had the same gripping chill about the Germs and their Leader!

  28. @ EMC3


  29. Awesome GB! Hilarious as always…

    remember to watch our lunch-time show where there will be mid-pitch public executions, brought to you by Mullah Omar Records….


    Btw, I did a post on Pakistan as well.

  30. Saddening sarcasm. This is all so painful! 😦

  31. Great writing GB. While reading two films somehow, sort of flashed in my mind, ‘Death Race’ of Jason Statham while reading the description of the stadium/match etc. and towards the end , the film ‘Osama’… when I heard the news after reaching office, I hoped that it is not anything like the Munich Olympic incident.
    I am glad that the SL team is fine, can’t help but think of what would have happened if BCCI had not cancelled the trip. The reason was offcourse 26/11 but even if that had not taken place, I am pretty sure that there are enough fanatics in that country who would have tried to score points with their handlers and the hoories-in-heaven by creating some mayhem on anything Indian.

  32. Happy 21st birthday Shahid Afridi, that reference came from nowhere – Brilliant!!

  33. ROTFL 🙂 21st Birthday….Rawalpindi Web Hosting and Hostages! 😀 Priceless!:))

    Hope that the rapidly diminishing influence of the LTTE, doesn’t make it do an ‘Operation Wrath of God’!

    Stage is set for a Tom Clancy-esque disaster though! 😦

  34. Not very subtle!! But by jove, what a delight it has been, to have read this one…

  35. “We will…we will…rock you”, 21st birthday, 17 players….:D:D:D

  36. @Vamsi
    If this happened to ANYONE in the Indian side, it would have been war.

    I dont think so 😦

  37. Superb post, vintage GreatBong!

  38. Lol @ the Avaam says so!!

    This is hilarious!

  39. like your style of writing very much.

    most annoying part of the whole thing is pak putting the blame on india, perceivably to turn the tables after the mumbai blasts and wash its hands off.

    couldn’t agree less with you. hope to see your name and politics in the same line in papers soon! 🙂

  40. Now, that was vintage GreatBong!!! I laughed aloud after a long time!!!

  41. Sarcasm at its very best i must say!
    Thanks for an awesome post yet again. I was wondering what the presentation ceremony would be like in this Kalashnikov World Cup. Say, presence of sponsors like Janaab Osama bin Laded, Janaab Ayman al-Zawahiri, Janaab Maulana Masood Azhar of JeM, Janaab Hafiz Muhammad Saeed and Janaab Zaki-ur-Rehman Lakhvi of LeT, Janaab Sayeed Salahudeen of Hizbul Mujahideen, and others?

    They will share the stage with personalities who have constantly supported and encouraged the endeavor, such as Janaab Asif Ali Zardari, Janaab Yousuf Gilani, Gen. Ashfaq Kayani of Pak Army, Lt. Gen. Ahmad Shuja Pasha of ISI, and Janaab Mullah Mohammed Omar, and so on. Honorary guests would be some of the religious leaders, politicians and security officials from neighboring India and Bangladesh. And guess what the Man of the Series will get? An M1 A1 Abrams tank (probably the best of the lot this one) which will accommodate all his team-members for a ride around the ground.

  42. Couldn’t have said it better! Very funny

  43. Comiccatastrophe March 4, 2009 — 10:42 am

    You went wrong somewhere- it is Shahid Afridi’s 19th bithday!! Comeon!!! 😀

  44. LOL.. good post.. the Afridi reference in particular.

    Pathetic comment by Kishor. I am surprised you didn’t edit that.

  45. After the attack on SL players in Pakistan, many people including Indian politicians started saying the security measures taken by Pakistan were not up to the mark. But in reality, security in our country is even worse. Remember the Mumbai incident. Almost same number of killed carrying almost same number of weapons killed ~170 people. If the same incident happens in India then no player would have survived the attack.

  46. Great bong admirer March 4, 2009 — 11:43 am

    Great post

  47. When we used to play cricket in hostel, it was allowed to throw a burning match stick near the batsman’s feet as “acceptable sledging”. In retaliation, the batsman used to hit the sledger with his bat and maybe a kick or two.

    Now I realize that we are yet to progree in the evolution chain.
    What fun these guys would have while sledging the batsman :hurling grenades, hammering his toes, poking swords in batsman’s butt as he takes his stance…

  48. “We will…we will…rock you”
    Priceless ..

  49. Mayuresh Gaikwad March 4, 2009 — 12:29 pm

    You may want to patent this form of cricket under the Jaish-Swat-Taliban patent law. I am sure this event shall happen in 2015 in Af-Pak 🙂

  50. Dada, Good news for your blog readers. L-e-T has started online ticket booking site for this world cup. World greatest sciencetist A.Q Khan (greater then Ainstine)is devoluping a new bomb for the Final match. I have already booked 4 tickets and i am sending my bosses there. if you are fed up with your bosses then send them to watch world cup match. address of the site is

    *condition apply

    *buy a new policy for your family before going to world cup because it will look after your family “Zindagi ke saath bhi Zindagi ke baad bhi”

  51. Wow… I was very shocked at the incident… Like someone already put it- Sarcasm at its best…!!! Well written…

  52. Meanwhile, the great Zaid Hamid has been quick and spot on in blaming India for it.
    More about it here :

  53. Vasabjit Banerjee March 4, 2009 — 2:39 pm

    This post was excellent and humorous. I would have said most humorous, but that goes to the Pakistani officials who claim this incident to be an Indian conspiracy.

  54. @kishor,
    Who can understand Sri Lankans better than you? Sri Lankans and South Indians are pretty much same.

  55. @Wafa,

    Where did Indira Gandhi (as India’s PM) see a Padosi Mulk’s hand that you don’t? Would you care to elaborate?

  56. @ Rich and famous
    Actually, ethnically speaking, Sinhalas has more in common with South Bengal and Orissa. Most Sinhalas migrated from there.

    But what has that got to do with this?
    Just kidding.

    Kishore man, so essentially it is South Indians vs. East Indians. Go.

  57. @Ayan
    Most non American experts consider the German “Leopard 2” to be better than M1-A1-Abrams.

  58. Oh come on! Don’t be so harsh on them?
    Don’t we have people in India who say we have our very own Taliban? Like Renu Chodhry and Co…?

  59. great write up, happened to visit ur blog by chance and glad i did stop by

  60. @ Kaunteya:
    Yes yes…say after me, Ram sena and these Jihadis are the same. Where are you Pink Chaddi wallahs..come support me.
    Every time people are butchered I have to keep reminding people that Ram Sena and Taliban are the same.

  61. @Delhi Watch: Indira Gandhi didn’t explicitly say “padosi mulk” but she was great at blaming a Foreign Hand for anything that went wrong in India, truth be damned. Her son also continued that honorable tradition for a long time. Apparently some Pakistani ex-generals have now picked up that slack; do we really want to be emulating their example?

    @Megatron: Maybe it was a snub. Or maybe it was a chance to make some money & further develop friendly relations with another country in the region. Diplomacy is complicated & South Asian diplomacy even more so. But when it’s about money things tend not to be so complicated any more. Either way, does it really matter? Samaraweera took a bullet, one umpire is critical & 6 innocent policemen are dead.

    There’s a good chance the terrorists were planning the attack for India, & when the SL team stepped in they figured, eh whatever, ek nahin to doosra. People were bored of the market & mosque bombings anyway.

  62. @Megatron

    You wanted to know what the Pink Chaddi wallahs were doing? Well, they are busy fending off the “tons” of prophylactics they are receiving, thanks to the “Pink Condom” campaign.

    Did you see this? Funny !!!

  63. Awesome post !
    Its a very tough team dada .. very tough team i tell u .. The Terrosits XI .. too hot to handle.

  64. Gr8Bong
    You just can not make fun of each and every thing !

  65. First of all i dont understand the logic behind attacking the Sri Lankan team at all…
    most of the terror attacks have some motive behind them…religious or region or whatever…but this one doesnt seem to make sense…
    had it been the indian team, then it would have been understandable bcoz of the whole history between india nad pak and the enmity etc…
    even an attack on some other team like england or australia would be understandable…bcoz mabbe the terrorists take them to be a symbol of the evil western world who is anti islam etc…
    hell even an attack on the bangladesh cricket team would be understandable…bcoz of the whole east pak-west pak enmity…
    but Sri Lanka????on what basis???
    as far as i know there are no problems between pakistan and sri lanka…no “disputed” territory…no victimizing of the “minority community” in one country on which the other takes offence…no “cross border terrorism”…hell they dont even share borders…
    if anyone needs any example of terrorists acting without sense, it is this one…
    when the entire world refused to tour pakistan due to security concerns, the lankans stepped in as “goodwill ambassadors”…and look at the goodwill they got…
    the sri lankan cricketers seem to be a friendly bunch…the entire lot of sangakkara and jayawardene and murali and vaas and co seem to be an affable lot…its not like they r unpopular and arrogant like the australians…i think they generally get along well with their opponents…very unfortunate…
    shudder to think of what would have happened to the indian cricket team…those terrorists would definitely not have run away…
    now hear of the obama administration readying another aid package worth billions for pakistan…will they ever learn?

  66. well said..
    but where did all the attackers go?

  67. @ Delhi Watch
    Nice link, you got to your id.

    Sad it is, but the motive hs to be examined.

    @ Sudhinder
    Most likely, the Jihadi group that did it is not Lashkar or Jaish or any other Muslim group from west Punjab. Pashtoon jihadis are possibly involved, with strong connections to Taliban.

    Unlike Mumbai attacks or attacks of similar nature in other parts of India (including Kashmir), where Muridke and POK based groups are most active, most jihadi attacks in Pakistan are done by Pashtoon and frontier agency based Islamists.

  68. The bell tolls for Pakistan. Forget failed state, its positively tottering! US ka life support nikaalne ki deri hai.

  69. Vintage greatbong! really! 😀
    Loved this line
    And its not as if we do not have international teams. There is the Bangladesh team. And one from Swat. And one from the Tribal Regions. And of course one from Afghanistan...

    You are trying to assign a logical justification to what are acts committed by people of an essentially a murderous ideology. Ramachandra Guha too said he was “puzzled” at the attack on the Sri Lankan cricketers. HE says “there is no rational or irrational logic to justify this attack”. This is because people like Mr.Guha are conditioned to explore “justifications” for every terror attack. When there is plainly no reason in sight, they are forced to grope in the dark. (More in my blog)

  70. Absolutely Howlarious!!! that’s more like the Gb of Yore!!

  71. KORBO LODBO JITBO… was translated to We will BOMB , ATTACK and WIN

  72. Correction:

    3rd para 1st sentence was meant to be
    “couldn’t agree more with you.”
    u rock greatbongda! hope u teach some healthy politics soon to all the buddha-debs and mamtadis who’ve ruined our poor state

  73. I think the entire attack plan was hatched keeping in mind Indian team’s visit. Maybe, the news of Indian team backing off and SL pitching in instead did not go through to the Taliban.

  74. MumbaiMeriJaan March 5, 2009 — 5:17 am

    Delhi Watch , you’ve got a great link in your id.
    but i’ll just browse thru it, wait for my blood to cool down and go back to making money and stuff. FK MY LIFE !

  75. Too much! Loved every bit of it.. You rock 🙂

  76. Absolutely amazing!!!
    Hope next post would tell us what actually happend in the match!

  77. Left a lot to be desired. Actually it kinda acted as a starter, and ended being just that.
    Not one of your memorable posts, by your standards.

  78. Ok, I will say it was a great read.

  79. @ Mumbaimerijaan
    Delhiwatch does have a macabre blog.

    You know money is important too for this kind of work. A small amount at the right place at the right time can effect outcomes significantly, 10 years down the line.

    Delhiwatch knows that, right?

  80. Great Work Sir!

  81. This is Hamid Zaid’s take, enjoy.

  82. Contrived. Could have been better. But I guess if you had spent more time, there was a risk of it being dated….

  83. Exellent!!!!!

    Once i had read an article (US-Ex army official) about dividing PAK into 3-4 individual states.The day is not so far off…

  84. Ha,ha,ha…Great one…GB…This is what we call true SARCASM!

  85. This is wordplay at its best. Absolutely loved the Shahid Afridi rejoinder. That bastard suddenly seems to have turned over a new leaf from his hard-drinking, gallivanting ways – he is now the spiritual anchor of the Pakistan cricket team, especially after the departure of Saeed Anwar and Yousuf Youhana aka Mohammed Yousuf. At least the last two could play cricket, and very well at that…

  86. @Greatbong : Do you have anything to say about Arundhati Roy being an option for the thinking man’s dream date on this rediff poll …

  87. This is your second-best ever, after the Mithun-da one.
    Loved it.

  88. @Deepak Iyer…

    all thinking men are cursed to date the ones like Ms Roy…:D:D:D

  89. Really GB, you can do better than this !

  90. Arnab da, please do give ur 2p on the irony of the liquor baraon restoring ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi’s stuff back to India…

  91. I had been a regular visitor last year and today was my first visit this year and have been cursing myself for not reading your blog for last 2 months… This is superb and humour to the best… Pls keep on postings……………. 😉

  92. @Deepak Iyer..i wonder how rediff missed my name

  93. @Savita Bhabhi :
    Once a guy gets frustrated after a few mins on the date with Arundhati Roy, he would excuse himself for a smoke or such like. There he would run into you and you can guess the rest.

  94. Wow stuff. This is simply amazing!

  95. @Savita Bhabhi

    you are always in our hearts(& desktops)…rediff doesn’t know anything…

  96. GreatBong, this was a fantastic read! excellently weaved together the different events etc. I loved the Happy 21st Birthday bit – it was hilarious and the catching practice with grenades was very good too! Kya baat hain, ek saath itna sixers and fours in one post is too much!

    aapka ek fan!

  97. One of your best!
    I will have to read it again 🙂
    No one writes on Pakistan better than you.

  98. @jitaditya….oh, with this much of support n love, i m soaking wet…i mean meri aankhon mein ansoo aa gaye

  99. For all those folks with an undertone of rejoice at the failure and impending collapse of the Pakistani state, doesn’t the possible fallout of such a scenario for India worry you. If the Taliban take Lahore or Karachi, do you know what it could mean for India. Even if Pakistan were reduced to ashes, the fire that would burn there would char us in India too. It is a frightening predicament.

    Sadly it was neither Mahinda Rajapakse, nor the crazy brat Ranatunga who bore the brunt of the attacks at all. It was the hapless SL cricket team.

    Anyway, didn’t the whole incident in Lahore look fishy to you. The terrorists getting away so easily without any significant interruptions from the security, the very attack itself on a visiting sports team from a friendly nation, something is very wrong somewhere. Things just don’t tally. And it would be foolhardy and simplistic too think that the perpetrators of this incident were foolish bigots with nothing better to do than blow up anything in their sights.

  100. @arindam
    yeah… thats India’s biggest concern
    plus a few things hard to digest
    1. terrorist left behind whole lot of material and we all have seen how easily they fled away. Well if you are going to get away easily, why to leave the stuff behind, you can very well carry them with you. There were lot of AK47s left behind and the TV tape which showed running away, almost everyone was carrying their guns. So did they carry one plus gun each?
    2. Pakistan team delaying their timing of departure at the last moment due to “some reasons” sounds too much of a coincidence
    3. Now even SL cricketers are complaining that security was lax for last couple of days.
    4. As soon as it happened, there were clear voices – same people who attacked mumbai did this. we are also victim of terror.
    5. TV tapes clearly showed terrorist’s bike (with open guns) crossing a police vehicle and police didn’t even bother to stop them.
    6. Its really hard to digest how 12 men heavily loaded with guns were waiting for a supposedly highly secured convoy on a busy street, and no one noticed them.

    I am sure there would be many more which more intelligent brains here would have found. But to me it looked like a well planned event to divert attention from 26/11.

  101. 🙂 Awesome.

  102. @yourfan2..what about twosome ;)?

  103. Funny, interesting and illuminating.

  104. Well, Well, Well! A Cricketing comment being held up for moderation? Astounding!

    Now I have to exercise a lot of cautions before I forward any comment. That’s the reason, why I am refrained from commenting on your latest post on the ‘Best Indian ODI Batting Line up’ – Though, much would I have liked to say on one of my favourite topics.

    By the way, one positive outcome of the Kalashnikov World Cup Cricket is that no losing captain will now have to offer any apology to “All the Muslims of the World” at the Presentation Ceremony. (Remember what Shoib Malik said after the T20 World Cup Final).

    Pardon Me, Did I cross the limits again?

  105. Arnab da, loved every bit of it!!! have put a link to your blog on mine – The quintessential Bengali wisdom!!

  106. More on the International representation at the World Cup:

    Commentator 1 – Actually, a team from the Indian Mujahedeen also tried their luck at the World Cup. Since they have not yet attained full membership, the Indian Mujahedeens had to first play the qualification matches. But the team was simply not good enough. In fact they did not possess even the requisite kits, whereas other teams came armed with Rocket launchers, AK-47s and unlimited supply of hand grenades. All the Indian Mujahedeen team could do was assemble some crude bombs out of locally sourced ammonium nitrate or pilfered gelatins, plant them in dust-bins or cycle-stands and then hide themselves amongst the crowd. Ultimately the Indian Mujahedeen team had to face defeat at the hands of Chechnyan Rebels.

    Commentator 2 – La Haula Wa La Quwwat! How could they lose to Chechnya, who know nothing about cricket!

    Commentator 1 – Yes, The Indian Mujahedeens have to learn a lot to graduate upto our levels. Till then we wish them Good Luck.

  107. Jokes apart, isn’t this the right time for a plebicite in J&K. If they choose India, no article 370.

  108. BOW AT YOU!!


    Truly Great!

  109. This is absolutely awesome….take a bow!!


    Now that the elections are over, and the “M” votes have been secured by the pseudo-secualr parties, this news comes out

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