April Fool Banayaa

60 Comments

“But a youth who is yet to grow a moustache is termed a threat to the country”.
[Reminder: That youth, yet to grow a moustache, is just 29 years old] [Link]

I am not constrained by Sonia: Manmohan Singh [Link]

Shahrukh Khan gets “kissed off’ by Sourav Ganguly[Link]

The best April fool gags are the ones that are not made up.

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60 thoughts on “April Fool Banayaa

  1. gb is getting decidedly “secular”.

    The book contract has made him very “responsible”. No more reckless pro-Hindutva articles.

  2. 1) The biggest April Fool’s joke is going to be on the Congress when the people vote in two weeks.

    Veteran journalist and intellectual Mr. M.J.Akbar seems to have launched a veritable “Congress Hatao, Desh Bachao” campaign. He pointed out that before an unproven and inexperienced Rahul Gandhi becoming India’s Prime Minister, he he has to run a municipality first.

    Mr. M.J.Akbar dubbed the Congress’ foisting of the fourth generation of the Nehru-Maino dynasty on the Indian nation as feudalistic. This sycophancy and dominance of one family infuriates Mr.Akbar. “The central place of dynasty in Congress politics is now immutable,” he snapped. “So now we have another fair and lovely – it’s medieval.”

    2) Another April Fool’s surprise on the Congress is RSS General Secretary’s (Mr.Ram Madhav’s) revelation that ‘RSS Members Are Present Even In The Congress Party’

    Who are these “Chhupe Rustom” (Congressi RSS members)? Any guesses?

    See Mr.Ram Madhav’s interview to know more: http://www.tehelka.com/story_main41.asp?filename=Ne040409rss_members.asp

  3. Yeah GB’s seething passion and unbridled honesty is gone.
    Another book contract and he will be a full scale pseudosecular.
    But he has a long way to go to catch me.

  4. The worst April’s Fool joke is on Bengalis.

    Bengalis should realize that we are not a proud society. We do not inherit a proud history. The Gorkhas, a relatively non-intellectual society as per our own complacent interpretations, have a history prouder than us. Because they did not accept the foreign invaders on their soil; while we Bengalis did – for 800 years. Our society suffered from periodic bloodbath in the course of last one hundred years, but we chose to turn our eyes away. Our people were killed; our women were raped, but we buried their memory into the ground. The process of refugee settlement was grossly mismanaged, but we failed to understand who is responsible behind it, and let the helpless people be played into the hands of the communist betrayers.

    Our history textbooks have been manipulated, distorted to an extent unimaginable to us (the State Circular issued by the west Bengal government in 1989 to review our history textbooks, carries the number Syl/89/1. [Read “Eminent Historians: Their technology, their line, their fraud” by Arun Shourie]). We chose to ignore such vested distortion.

    Our so-called intellectuals misguided us, fooled us, but we continue to worship them. We cry for the support of Sourav Ganguly, a millionaire cricketer, hold rallies, celebrate day of mourn after his expulsion from the cricket team, we pray for the victory of Brazil (which is none of our business), but we happily forget the reports of Mukherjee Commission, which threw a fresh light on the mystery of the death of Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose, the greatest hero of Bengal. We can not manage time to hold rallies with a strong demand that the report of Mukherjee Commission must be made public.

    We can not demand that a similar commission should be set up regarding the suspicious death-in-custody of Dr. Syama Prasad Mookerjee – by whose valiant efforts the entire territory of West Bengal was prevented from being handed over to East Pakistan in 1947. Shame on us Bengalis.

    We can burn thousands of candles, raise a thousand slogans, write articles after articles for one Rizwanur Rahman, but not a single candle, not a single slogan, not a single line can be reserved for the millions of our own Hindu brethren in Bangladesh, our own flesh and blood in the land of our own forefathers. Bengal, the one time commercial hub of India, has been converted into one of poorest pockets of the world, corrupt, ravaged by this worthless brand of politicians, but we continue to dream of a proletariat society, and scream slogans for the people of Palestine, Cuba, Nicaragua…..with our vague notions of international affairs. All we do in the name of the holy ghost of communism.

    Who is responsible for all this shameful mess? We – the Bengalis – are responsible for this disastrous state of affairs. The population explosion (as a result of the silent invasion by millions of Bangladeshi Muslims), the steady decline of industrial growth and rising unemployment in West Bengal fostered an unhealthy competition, petty vested interests and selfishness among people. Parents can not think beyond their children, and children can not think beyond their career. The habit of an entire generation have been spoiled in the name of an antediluvian ideology of a particular political party, which never stopped to betray and abuse the Hindu religion and culture since its formation in faraway Tashkent. But we chose to vote them into power, over and over again.

    Everybody of us hereby put our society at stake. We are digging nails in the coffin of the Bengali Hindus, one after one. [edited]

    And who is responsible for all this? We believed our intellectuals, who used all their weapons to malign Hindus. Our intellectuals glorified the Mao Ze Dong inspired Naxalite agitations in Bengal.

    B. Raman [former RAW chief] in an Article “China’s Interest Is Our Interest?‘ published in Outlook writes: “After joining the IB in 1967, I went on a visit to Kolkata. Those were the days of the Cultural Revolution in China. The Marxists were not yet in power in West Bengal, but were very active. As I was traveling in a taxi from the Dum Dum airport to downtown Kolkata, I saw the following slogan painted by the Marxists on the walls everywhere: ‘China’s Chairman is our Chairman.’ ”

    The intellectuals played with our faith. Because we let them. We continue to be brainwashed. We shut our eyes. We gag our mouths. We stifle our brains. We blame others. But the blame falls on us, on all of us.

    Happy April Fool’s Day to all Bengalis.

  5. Dear GB

    I have suitably modified the paragraph that has been edited above. I hope this is acceptable.
    ——————————————————————-

    Every one of us has hereby put our society at stake. We are digging nails in the coffin of the Bengali Hindus, one after one. We are waiting for the Day when the last Bengali will be forced to reject his own religion and culture and devoured by the violent and imperialist alien history. We ridicule such possibility, because we think we are secular.

  6. @ Bengal Voice :
    I am happy we do not have too many people like you who would rather sing praises about people who i feel are the few people who never understood being a bengali. I am glad i am not from Gujrat and i am glad that people in Bengal do not take religion as their over encomapssing yard stick for judging everything… You can rant all you want but I do not see Bengalis going the way most parts of India is heading… Regarding saurav ganguly, brazil and intellectuals i am glad I have culture which rises above stupid petty religious and laguage barriers.[ yes we have miles to go in some areas and i agree we are falling behind in ‘development’ and it frustrates me; But then when I see the ‘developed’ states of India producing morons like Modi, Thakeray and Muthalik, I sort of be happy with a state that might be ‘under developed’ but thankfully does not let bigots flourish! And that ism y biggest pride in being Bengali…

    I also feel by using a handle like ‘Bengal Voice’ you doing a gross disservice to bengalis in general and I hope you get well soon!

  7. @jyojit:
    What a rebuttal bro.
    [edited by GB: This has been edited just to prevent a discussion on a person’s religion and loyalties which gets ugly and communal]

  8. @ Joyjit

    I am sure your forefathers expressed exactly the same thoughts sitting in a chop-er dokaan in Dhaka’s Shakhari Bajar (a famous Hindu majority area stooped in culture and history), on a sunny morning in 1905.

    Now its a training ground for Bangladeshi Taliban just a stone throw away from Baitul Mukkarram Mosque.

    I am afraid to say…there is no other “Hindu” Bengal to escape to- this time when the next Zihaad happens.

    You might as well start cosying up to Modi and Mutalik. I know its a big climbdown for a supercilious Bhodrolok like you.

    But then again…what is life without its twisted irony.

    Look at Ila Mitra and Jogendranath Mondol 🙂

    (google it up if you havn’t heard these names)

  9. @ Joyjit

    google the names-
    Ila Mitra and Jogendranath Mondol…you will know what BengalVoice is talking about.

    You see, life is full of twisted ironies. I am sure the Bengali Hindus in Dhaka’s Shakhari Bajaar spoke exactly like you on a sunny morning in 1905.

    Now all you hear there is the noise of Madrassa students going to the Baitul Mukarram mosque.

    You know, this time there is no other “Hindu Bengal” left. You might just as well start cosying up to Modi and Mutallik. Their’s might be the only place you might find refuge after 20 years.

    Btw, which district do you live in?

  10. @ Joyjit

    google the names-
    Ila Mitra and Jogendranath Mondol…you will know what BengalVoice is talking about.

    You see, life is full of twisted ironies. I am sure the Bengali Hindus in Dhaka’s Shakhari Bajaar spoke exactly like you on a sunny morning in 1905.

    Now all you hear there is the noise of Madrassa students going to the Baitul Mukarram mosque.

    You know, this time there is no other “Hindu Bengal” left. You might just as well start cosying up to Modi and Mutallik. Their’s might be the only place you might find refuge after 20 years.

    Btw, which district do you live in?

  11. @joyjit

    “Regarding saurav ganguly, brazil and intellectuals i am glad I have culture which rises above stupid petty religious and laguage barriers….”

    ROTFL..

    Dada, have you lived in bengal or you are talking ’bout Kolkata only?

    Dont know about kolkata , poschimbangla-y giye thakun du-din amader kaalchar dekhte paaben, koto broad, jokhon aapnar poRa-r club-er chhelera apnar baRi-r saamney mod kheye boma fuTiye jaabey, baRi korar somoy du bosta cement kom ghush diyechhilen bole..jokhon poRoshi nordomar jol aapnar beRa-r dike ghuriye paye paa lagiyte jhogra korbey apni co-ordination committee koren na bole..paRa committee ese shashiye jabey kalipujo-r chnada kom diley..

  12. Actually everythin that thackrey said was quite valid. (cept the moustache comment :p). Funny how thackrey is the most vocal about bangladeshi illegal immigrants than even bengali politicians.

  13. WoW!!! Quite a few people with exact same statements, is that some sort of a co incidence??
    @Dodo: Haan aami thekechi… ebong amar jiboner 22 bochor okhanei thekechi, ebong I hope I will be back there… I understand all that you are talking about but how on earth does justify all the crap??
    Also FYI for a lot of people here who want me learn about what happened in Bangladesh, I would like to say that my grand dad and grand mom had to flee from their ancestral house, land and come to Kolkata during that period but that really does not give me the license to go about and continue that crap! Dude Shit happens in this world but you got to take it on your chin and go ahead… that what I was taught in my home and even by the same grand parents who had to bear it all unlike the commentators out here. I did write what happens in Bengal frustrates me and pisses me off but I also feel that I am better off than running behind some bloody bigot like a Modi or Thakeray… Muthalik is nothing but an illiterate swine who is getting all the unnecessary attention… I am more angry then rather than my local councilor taking me for a ride or my bank clerks working 2 hours a day…
    I just wish better sense prevails over some people and the best part is that no matter how much you rant your ass off Bengal is going to be what it is and you can do nothing but whine!

  14. Also FYI I was born in Kolkata but I grew up in Siliguri from when I was 2… And I stayed in Siliguri till I was 22…

  15. @joyjit
    agree with you abt muthalik and varun gandhi types… But infiltration from bangladesh …and real cause of communal violence in past and present is something you ignored.

    Do you remember the violent mindless crowd on streets in kolkata opposing taslima stay in India ?

  16. @joyjit

    ….I sort of be happy with a state that might be ‘under developed’ but thankfully does not let bigots flourish!

    Bigot – A bigot is a person who is intolerant of or takes offence to the opinions, lifestyles or identities differing from his or her own, and bigotry is the corresponding attitude or mindset….(Wikipedia)

    Mamata Banerjee…..comes to mind?

  17. Bhodroloks like joyjit will soon be cleansed from WB and will have to live in places like Gujarat ( gasp! ). Just wait 5-10 years and see.

  18. @ Joyjit,

    “am better off than running behind some bloody bigot like a Modi or Thakeray… Muthalik is nothing but an illiterate swine who is getting all the unnecessary attention… I am more angry then rather than my local councilor taking me for a ride or my bank clerks working 2 hours a day…”

    really?

    to each one his own. modi, thakrey and muthalik come and go but the bloody bank clerk is never on his seat. in my world if the basic building block is crooked then the building is bound to come crashing down.

    if you tolerate the missing bank clerk, i am sure you would have no problem with mamta or nandigram. your state has produced its fair share of modis, thakreys and muthaliks but slightly low key (because they target ideologically opposed people and keep away from minorities) and well concealed (the leaders in kolkata wear their secular underwear over their pants, a la superman – even the color matches). so don’t gloat.

    about modi, thakeray and muthalik let me rephrase your statement – Dude Shit happens in this world but you got to take it on your chin and go ahead… thats what most people are taught at home even by grandparents who had to suffer the partition (eastern or western border).

  19. Hey greatbong,
    It IS already ugly AND communal when you let shmuck like delhiwatch have his say and edit others.
    Good luck.

  20. One interesting thing is that most of the “savious of Hindus” create such a fuss about the partition but somehow i do not see them or their families[previous generation] ever being affetced by the riots or partitiion! Isnt that funny?

  21. Yogi Raj,

    Here I was trying to be pseudo-secular so that people buy my book (according to comments posted before you) and there you with your perceptiveness come pricking that balloon.

    Bad luck for me.

  22. @ Joyjit

    One interesting thing is that most of the “savious of Hindus” create such a fuss about the partition but somehow i do not see them or their families[previous generation] ever being affetced by the riots or partitiion! Isnt that funny?

    Yes, its funny.
    Especially when people like you not only live in complete self denial, [edited by GB]
    Siliguri, you said you live in …right.

    You still have time.

  23. Again please keep communally inflammatory messages off the comment space. I do not like to have to ceaselessly moderate or edit comments especially since many of you keep commenting with same message again and again. Please respect my time and my policies since you are commenting on *my* blog. The discussion is not even relevant to the blogpost above. I have said this before and I will say it again. Move your communal “discussions” and “vote for particular parties” to other forums. Just not here.

  24. @joyjit
    It would have made sense had it not been truncated due to GB’s strict policy.

    But then again, you could be right..you dont seem to have the ability to tell the difference between Tibet and Timbaktu.

  25. @ greatbong:
    Your book? it’s news to me. Sounds interesting.

    As for your plea about keeping the comment section non-communal, Tough Luck.

    You let the muck-stained bigot stray into your room and let him walk free while ordering others to maintain dicipline.

    One thing is for sure, he must be getting lots of his through your blog and that makes you partly responsible for spreading the hate propoganda.

    Want to clean up your comment section? Flush out the shit first.

  26. I have enough things worry about than Jihad! I would rather not have another similar “anti Jihad”. Anyway its no use trying to put reason into your head! people whose dope is their religion [no matter which!] are always the worst of the lot!

  27. @Joyjit
    All I can say is…inform yourself and stay awake.
    A time will come when you may regret why you didnt stand up to the Jihad in Bengal right now.

    Until then consider me crazy.

  28. @Joyjit,

    You blabbered: “I am happy we do not have too many people like you who would rather sing praises about people who i feel are the few people who never understood being a bengali.”

    So, let me get this – I am singing praises of Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose and Dr. Syama Prasad Mookerjee – both of whom, according to you, never understood what it means to be a Bengali. And you do? LOL…Did anyone tell you that you are a pompous ignoramus, and a pathetic one at that?

    You jabbered again:”I also feel by using a handle like ‘Bengal Voice’ you doing a gross disservice to bengalis in general”

    Given your suicidal outlook for Bengalis, you should probably take your own unsolicited advice and rename yourself as “Lemming Voice”.

    You brayed: “I hope you get well soon”

    Given the hopelessness of your mental state, you would be turned down by most lunatic asylums in Siliguri. I know of only two wise men who can heal you: “Ali Sina” and “M.A.Khan”.

    Just google their names and you can get your treatment done online.

  29. @Joyjit,

    You wrote: “I am happy we do not have too many people like you who would rather sing praises about people who i feel are the few people who never understood being a bengali.”

    So, let me get this – I am singing praises of two patriots – Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose and Dr. Syama Prasad Mookerjee – both of whom, according to you, never understood what it means to be a Bengali. And you do? LOL…. You are funny!

    You wrote: “I also feel by using a handle like ‘Bengal Voice’ you doing a gross disservice to bengalis in general”

    Given your suicidal outlook for Bengalis, you should probably take your own unsolicited advice and rename yourself as “Lemming Voice”.

    You wrote: “I hope you get well soon”

    Given the state of your mental health, I know of only one person who can heal you: M.A.Khan. Just google his name and you can get your treatment done online.

  30. @bengal’s stinking voice:
    YOU need to STFU because your verbal diarrhea is stinking up arnab’s fine place.

  31. @ Inavada
    Sometimes a posted comment vanishes, making the poster think that his message didnt go through. Thats possibly why BG ended up posting twice.

    Take it easy brother.

  32. Look at Bengal Voice’e salutation address while retorting to Inavada Bhatt! Shameful. With this foul mouth you can expect a million sympathisers for your cause. I mean you even linked your site to that comment….man! Discretion is certainly not your forte

  33. @Inalauda Butt,

    Looks like you are too retarded or wimped out for a debate. So, why don’t take your attitude and shove it up your butt? And while you are at it, STFU asswipe.

  34. @Laborer,

    I appreciate your concern. A civil comment deserves another. An unprovoked expletive (“STFU”) deserves more in return. Try teaching your friend manners and he will get more in return.

  35. @GB,

    Sorry. For the last 4 years that I have been a reader here, I have seen several debates on this portal… Nobody has used such unprovoked foul language (“STFU”) against me (or anyone else) while debating an issue. I should have known better than to indulge such potty-mouthed trolls who can barely weave a sentence together.

  36. @ Bengal voice

    Please dont reply to the person using the ID “Inavada Bhatt”. He/she is pulling you down to poop-slinging that, there is no way, you will benenfit from.

    Stop replying to him/her.

  37. I thought Rishi Khujur was Bengal Voice & Hara Bara Hom Bom’s chhadmanaam (in Jatayu’s inimitable words), but looks like it isn’t. Scary!

    Rishi, BV is definitely slinging poop with those references to proctology & wipes of the ass 🙂 But at least he said sorry, so some props to him.

  38. @”Pankaj Roy”

    I am surprised why there has been no “Tomaar Salaam” from you addressed to your bhatt-buddy (the Father-Of-All-STFUs).

    If you and your bhatt-buddy lack the knowledge or rationale to debate my thoughts and concerns (that I have raised so far), that is fine. But at least don’t cheapen yourself by condoning Mr.Spit-for-Brains’ use of expletives (STFU) to shout down others who don’t subscribe to your brand of anti-Hindu herd-mentality.

    As demonstrated in the debate above, politeness begets politeness…and the first-use of a STFU will be generously returned with interest. 🙂

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