If there is anything that attests to how committed the political parties of India are to providing the citizens with good governance and well-thought out policies, it has to be their selection of celebrities, mostly filmie people, as candidates for Parliament. This election season has been great in that respect with politically plugged-in stars coming out in full glory, if not asking for your keemti votes as a candidate themselves then definitely asking for your support for their favored party.
Taking to the streets is the Nabokov professor for endowed Lolitaas Shakti Kapoor [pic courtesy: Screen India], famous for his enduring attempts to uplift women, campaigning along with bumchum Kiran Kumar (the honest cop in Loha) wearing a Tshirt with Gandhi’s picture on it.
And unlike many other politically aware mega-stars Shakti is not politically partisan—–he campaigns for the Congress in one place and for BSP in another bringing to light the fact that there is absolutely no difference between political parties on the core issues.
Among other star campaigners are Salman Khan for the Congress who is targeting his message to a “swing” constituency—pavement dwellers, endangered species and people who love shirtless beefcakes. Not so sure whether he will be going ” Vote for C-C-C-Congress” is King Khan who is playing his political cards carefully.
Some stars have however have taken the next step and have actually thrown their hat into their election ring. For instance Shaker Suman [pic courtesy: Buzz18], the great comedian known for making a clean chest of his assets, is trying to attempt the impossible—-stand upto mega Shotgun Scarface Shatru, BJP candidate from Patna Saheb. Of course whether he will be able to make strongman Shatru go “khamosshhhh” or whether Suman-ji will do a “seedha patli gali se nikaal ja “remains to be seen.
With Suman in the frame, fellow laugh-man Raju Srivastava is also trying his best to get onto the electoral rolls while Navjyot Sidhu from BJP continues unabated——with the political rise of three comedians a sure sign that the country is now ready to be ruled by professional comics, as opposed to the amateurs who form the power class today.
And if we talk about Sidhu how can we forget his eternal rival Azhar-bhai (with whom he fought and came back from England) who is a Congress candidate this time, at last recognized for being one of the nation’s foremost bibliophiles with the people lovingly addressing him, in honor of a character from “Gulaal”, as Bookie Bana.
Bhojpuri mega-star Manoj Tiwari is a Samajwadi Party candidate and I for one am not surprised. Ever since I heard the Bihari pride song “Hum Bihari Dil Baate Bhola Bhola, Humre Ka Neta Sabke Nachawe Wala” with lyrics like “Pipe main hoi jaye sooo” [reviewed here] I knew there was a revolutionary in this man and my faith in him has been vindicated this election season.
Though not from Bollywood, the most significant movie-star who will play a role in this elections with his proposed “fourth front” is the legendary Chiru. Though I accept that I have not seen most of his work, which I am assured is stellar, I have nothing but awe for the man who danced to “Nobody can dance with me” in “Aaj ka Gundaraaj” (a telling comment on the state of the country) in the process sounding a “It’s a challenge” to his political rivals, poked a sword in Juhi-ji’s navel in “Gentleman” and stood ramrod amidst a hail of eggs being hurled at him by his detractors. [A tribute video to the eggs here]
The other big non-Bollywood players is Vijaykanth, the Captain, who I am sure if he came to power would make sure that the power situation improves if for nothing else than to make sure that doctors are not forced to perform surgery using light from their cell-phones as the Captian himself did once. [Video]. Not to forget our own svelte Bangla-r chele Tapas Pal (after whom some conjecture that the Spanish delicacy “tapas” is named) opposite whom Madhuri Dixit made her debut in Abodh and “Lal Paan Bibi” Shatabdi Ray who are both ready to storm the Red Bastion of Bengal.
But then how can there be election season without heartbreak? Some jealous people inside the Congress created trouble for Govinda and he “voluntarily” decided not to contest this time. I mean Hello? Okay so Govinda did not much bother with attending Parliament (just like Dharmendra and Vinod Khanna and some other luminaries including no less than Shyam Benegal [who may have been busy in Sajjanpur]) and had a 12% attendance and in general was reportedly less than prompt in discharging his duties so much so that his constituents put up a reward for any information about his whereabouts.
But this is Govinda, the man who makes wearing yellow trousers look cool, the man on whom the song “Tum to dhokebaaz ho waada karke bhool jaate ho” was picturized. Surely he could have been given a chance? I am sure he had a good excuse for his abysmal attendance like “Angana main baba, dooware pe ma, kaise aaye gori hum Lok Sabha ma”.
And of course how can we not talk about “the Deadly” Dutt [pic courtesy: Rediff] whose sincere attempts to introduce Gandhigiri into the diplomatic lexicon was aborted due to the small matter of a court conviction? I say we need more politicians like him who can combine a “jadu ki jhappi”with pure badass-ness “Apna to ek hi jawab hain yaar, Tez dhaar” [For those who have not heard the song (a personal favorite of mine), here is the link], a rose with an Ak47, and total “eyes-half-shut” macho with cluelessness.
On the topic of cluelessness, the biggest tragedy this election season has been that Amisha Patel is not contesting a seat. There were rumors that NCP had approached Amisha Patel to be a candidate, rumors that were scotched by the actress herself.
Amisha Patel is disturbed at rumours linking her to politics. Recently the Nationalist Congress Party stated that she’d contest the Lok Sabha election from Rajkot, Gujarat on an NCP ticket. Amisha says, “These statements are news to me. I have never shown willingness to contest from Rajkot” I have been approached by many political parties over the last seven years to contest. People are keen that I enter politics”
It was indeed heartening to know that many political parties have Amisha Patel pencilled in as a potential legislator. With her deer-caught-in-headlights look and her cerebral performances, Amisha is the ideal Youngistan candidate to navigate the country through perilous times. I honestly think that Amisha’s place in history will be assured if she champions a quota for talentless people (after SC/STs, OBCs, minorities and Brahmins have had their slices of the pie), a powerful voting bloc, who have historically been deprived of jobs and admissions to colleges.
At the very least, she can bring in the votes by contrasting the policies of her party with her oppositions through that song from “Kaho Na Pyar Hain”: ” Udhar to raat hain savera hain idhaar”
In an encouraging sign that the dawn is not far off, Amisha has not ruled out a run in politics
I will be interested in entering politics in a couple of years perhaps, but not right now. Right now, I am too young and inexperienced
Till then, we wait with bated breath.