Me Cheenaman

This article appeared in the policy magazine Badgati.

Chinese foreign policy strategy to break up India was laid bare recently in an article by one of the country’s foremost defense experts [Link], whose writings reveal him to be in the same class as the venerable ex-Jihadi Hamid, Pakistan’s No 1 public intellectual . However what has gathered the most interest in Indian policy circles is the startling revelation of a plot that many people have suspected for long.

Namely Chinese intelligence attempts to trigger a separatist movement in West Bengal.

Creation of at least another free Bengali nation state as a friendly neighbour of Bangladesh, would be desirable, for the purpose of weakening India’s expansion and threat aimed at forming a ‘unified South Asia’.

Yes. A free Bengali nation. It is indeed a measure of the sagacity of the said Chinese foreign policy expert that he has such amazing insight into Indian geopolitics.

For one, Bengalis have, over the ages, bristled at their consistent marginalization in the national scheme of things ever since the reign of Emperor Sasanka (or as he used to be called Soshi-da). They have seen Bangali greats been made to step down for “other” Indians. Pranab Mukherjee for Rajiv Gandhi in 1984. Sambaran Banerjee for Chandrakant Pandit. Jyoti Basu for Deve Gowda. Kedar Bhattacharya for Kumar Sanu for Sonu Nigam. And finally if Punjab had its Operation Bluestar, then Bengal also had  its last straw on the camel’s back, namely the “dropping of Dada”, an event that brought Bangalis out onto the road, paralyzing all life in the state in the Behala area. Mahisashur, the evil rakshasa, was cast in the mould of Greg Chappell and cries of Rahul Dravid hai hai rent the air as unrest and discord ran high including the production of the revolutionary clarion call for insurrection, the soaking -in-parochial-bile “Bonguly” (original audio was provided to me by this man)  (a must listen if you have not heard it)—a series of events no doubt noted by the pundit from China.

Second Bengal and China have shared a close bond of affection for many years, making it that much easy for Chinese spooks (the Hyena from China to quote from “Sonar Kella”)  to move nuclear “fish-ile” material into fish-loving Bengal for starting armed struggle. This close relationship is primarily gastronomic—for decades the Bangali middle class family’s first choice destination for international cuisine was “Chinese”. Which for the Bangali meant fried rice and chilli chicken. And of course the mega popular “chow men” , soaked in all the oil from Arabia and doused in tomato ketchup,  stirred in gigantic pans on street sides with a tempting sizzle-sizzle, garnished with small specks of meat of doubtful provenance and sold along side egg rolls, chicken rolls, mutton rolls and the hybrid “egg mutton” rolls. Centered in a place called Tengda, there has always been an active Chinese community in Kolkata and though their numbers have dwindled markedly and though many of the Chinese restaurants in the city have been taken over by local Bengalis with the chef who prepares American Chop Suey likely to be the pot-bellied Kanai-da  who used to make rosogollas in his last job, China still exerts a great influence in Bengal. After all this is the state which has had a communist party in power for more than three decades, a party which came from a mother-ship where some Indians had supported China in their war against India and where people still love to pop  Cheena badam or “The nuts of Chinese” into their mouths, even though they cause much gas later on.

If any further proof of this brotherhood is needed, one only has to see the movie “Neel Akashar Neeche”, directed as a love poem by Mrinal Sen for China, where Kali Banerjee played the role of the “Cheena silk” selling  “Cheenaman”, looking as authentically Chinese as possible (as authentic as if Sanjay Dutt plays the role of a sixteen-year old Romanian ballerina) whose “Me no foreign me Cheenaman” appropriately captured the status of Chinese people in the state of Bengal (some critics say that this syrupy movie actually started the Indo-China war).

Of course getting Bengal to separate from India has its challenges.  After all this is not the revolutionary Bengal of Binoy, Badal, Dinesh, Masterda, Pritilata Wahededar and Matangini Hajra.  Revolution has to be launched on Monday and has to be finished by 3 pm on Friday evening so that the babus can take the early train home. And nothing more deadly than the burning of a few decrepit state buses, lying down on railway tracks, delivering speeches on footpaths standing in the shade, drinking tea from earthen cups, and sleeping in the afternoon in “sando genji” (banyan) should be attempted. [Some may claim that not much more might be needed as the rest of India would not mind losing Bengal or perhaps will not even notice. But since we do not know for sure, further speculation on these lines would be unwarranted]

However if any country can actually get Bengal to move its gigantic ass and do something significant like declare its independence from India it has to be China, efficient enough to sell low-grade medicine in Africa putting “Made in India” stickers on it [Me no foreign me Cheenaman], lead-laden toys all around the world and supply nuclear material to Pakistan.

In conclusion, should the rest of India fear Chinese plans to disintegrate our country? I don’t know but as long as it keeps producing informed “experts” like the one whose ruminations have gotten so much press, Indians need not worry. At all.

[Top image courtesy here] [The idea to do a blog on this story came from Roops78]

44 thoughts on “Me Cheenaman

  1. “some critics say that this syrupy movie actually started the Indo-China war”… Priceless, Arnab! 🙂 Great post…

  2. oh my God! aami aage ei audio ta shuni ni… Hasste haaste matha kharap hoye gelo! 😀

    Thanks Arnab da!

  3. Good One…

  4. Awesome !!!

  5. Hi GB
    y dont u post smthing on swine flu.chk mine post on swineFlu. Hope it proves useful to all of us including u

  6. First again…

  7. Shouldn’t the nickname of Sasanka be Shosha-da :).

    Do the Chinese truly understand the implications of having a free Bengali client state on their hands? And honestly, why bother breaking up when brilliant Trojan horses like Mamata-di and Paposh da can accomplish their aims with minimal effort?

  8. The humour notwithstanding, the double face of China has been exposed, acting as friendly in highlevel meetings, but secretly wanting to destroy us clearly shows that the Hindi-chinii bhai-bhai days are defenitely over..
    Taking one of the teachings of Chanakya’s arthashastra “an enemy’s enemy is one’s friend”, China being Pakistan’s all weather friend will always have animosity towards us..
    If needed, the Indian govt should fish in china’s own troubled provinces like the Xinjiang province where ethnic and religious clashes are rampant…

  9. Don Ayan de Marco August 12, 2009 — 5:51 am

    Thnx for the audio. I seriously think that doctors should use the audio to treat patients who are suffering from depression.

  10. @MASKA:

    “the double face of China has been exposed, acting as friendly in highlevel meetings, but secretly wanting to destroy us clearly shows that the Hindi-chinii bhai-bhai days are defenitely over..”

    While I would be the first to consider China an enemy, to consider this particular plan as evidence of their treachery is a bit far fetched. This is the opinion of one strategist, who is obviously too incompetent to realize the sheer impracticality of the plan.

    If these strategists are holding sway in Chine today, we are pretty safe! 🙂

  11. GB,

    How about China (Cheena) Bazar near burrabazar? I could never figure out what Cheena Bazar had to do with china save for the comparatively cheaper stationery it sold.

  12. “where people still love to pop Cheena badam or “The nuts of Chinese” into their mouths, even though they cause much gas later on.”


  13. Cheena badam or “The nuts of Chinese”
    Never has literal translation caused as many laughs!

  14. The Chinese have always been back-stabbing little nasties as far as their policy towards India is concerned – they have made enormous progress in infiltrating the North Eastern states (our government is obviously also guilty of treating them as step-children). They also control Nepal, our only (erstwhile?) friendly neighbour.

    Disgusting pic by the way 🙂

  15. Only nuts of Chinese won’t do, we need the chopstick(s) as well. Further more, we need a revolution, so Hu Jin Tao, chop chop ! (LOL !!!)

  16. The dude in that bonguly audio is superb! Good old bong style hardcore talk! And a great post, by the way. I have had cheene badam so many times but never thought of it as nut of chinaman — priceless!!!

  17. Jokes apart, Apart from making fake “Made in India” medicines they are also making fake Bajaj Pulsar

    Indian bikes are immensely popular in South America and Africa where these bikes have a reputation of being able to run on rough roads and are good on mileage.

    Not only are these bikes cheaper than the Indian counterparts but also they are cheap on quality too.They only last a year and then you have to throw them away.

    What are the Chinese good at any way.
    See this building which was under construction and got toppled

    Gives a whole new meaning to the poem “London Bridge is Falling down”

    Is there anything coming out of china which is not posionnious

    I think the Ughir Muslims in China have a better chance of breaking away from China when compared to Bengal breaking Away from India.

    They are probably saying this because they the states they have named to break are also communist rules States


    May be!

  18. B. Raman served as additional secretary at the Research and Analysis Wing, India’s external espionage agency, and headed the counter-terrorism division at RAW for more than a decade till his retirement in 1994. In his article below, Raman points to the extra-territorial loyalties of West Bengal’s Communists :

    ‘China’s interest is our interest’

    After joining the IB in 1967, I went on a visit to Kolkata. Those were the days of China’s Cultural Revolution. The Marxists were not yet in power in West Bengal, but were very active. As I was travelling in a taxi from the Dum Dum airport to downtown, I saw the following slogan painted by the Marxists on the walls everywhere: ‘China’s chairman is our chairman’.

    The present day Indian Marxists don’t say this, but they do believe that ‘China’s interest is our Interest’. It is this belief which is behind their present campaign against the Government of India. Their hidden motive should be exposed.

  19. Prakash Karat to the Government…. “Me no foreign me Cheenaman”!!

  20. The Communist Party of China (CPC) leaders are not exactly day-dreaming. They have good faith that their Indian Communist comrades in Kolkata will do exactly as commanded by Beijing.

    The Communists displayed a strong liking and ideological as well as political linkage with Mao Tse Tung – the person who is perhaps the worst butcher of all time in human history as he is credited with 70 million deaths in China during peace-time – and a persistent hater of India.

    This is precisely why all Communist party meetings and conferences in India display large portraits of the Chinese Communist leader Mao Zedong.

    The Indo-China War of 1962 is a classic case of the treacherous Communists betraying India. Indian-born Communist leaders – and traitors – openly betrayed the fighting jawans on the front. The very guy who was responsible for their well-being while he gave up his life was betrayed open and unashamedly.

    • Both the CPI(M) and CPI claimed that the 1962 Chinese aggression of India was nothing more than “Government of India propaganda”.

    • Several top Communist leaders (in the CPI) openly supported the Chinese in this war.

    • China Supporters included: Jyoti Basu (Yes! Our own Jyoti Babu), Harkishan Singh Surjeet, B. T. Ranadive, P. Sundarayya, P. C. Joshi, E.M.S. Namboodiripad, A.K. Gopalan, M. Basavapunniah, E.K. Nayanar, V.S. Achuthanandan, Promode Das Gupta, Muzaffar Ahmad, Abdul Halim, Hare Krishna Konar, Saroj Mukherjee, P. Ramamurthi, M.R. Venkataraman, N. Sankariah, K. Ramani, Jagjit Singh Lyallpuri, D.S. Tapiala, Dr. Bhag Singh, Sheo Kumar Mishra, R.N. Upadhyaya, Mohan Punamiya, P. Sundarayya, T. Nagi Reddy, M. Hanumantha Rao, D.V. Rao, N. Prasad Rao, G. Bapanayya, A.V. Kunhambu, C.H. Kanaran, E.K. Imbichi Bava, and R.P. Saraf.

    • These Chinese stooges broke away from the CPI to form the CPI(M), because the CPI (under S.A.Dange) was a Soviet proxy.

    • In a massive arrest in January of 1965, many top Communist leaders were arrested for having betrayed India. Two of those arrested were: Jyoti Basu and Harkishan Singh Surjeet.

  21. And then the fun began:

    • In 1967, Radio Peking announced the violent Communist Naxalbari rebellion as “the front paw of the revolutionary armed struggle”.

    • To this day, the Chinese Communists have continued to arm and finance ultra-violent Communist groups such as the CPI (ML), better known as Naxalites or Maoists in India and Nepal.

    • The Naxalites assassinated the vice chancellor of Jadavpur University, Dr. Gopal Sen.

    • Naxalite students took over Jadavpur University and used the machine shop facilities to make pipe guns to fight the police.

    • The Naxalite headquarters became Presidency College, Kolkata.

    • The attitude of the CPI (M-L) leaders to the Communist Party of China (CPC) in general and Mao Tse-tung in particular, was one of prostrate adoration, reflected too often in emphasizing China’s national interests over the needs of the Indian revolution and taking pains to trot out apologies or explanations for China’s diplomatic manoeuvres (as happened with Ashim Chatterjee during the 1971 developments in East Bengal), or taking ridiculously extreme forms like Charu Mazumdar’s slogan: “China’s Chairman is Our Chairman, China’s Path is our Path”

    • Naxals hold sway in about 180 districts across ten states of India, accounting for about 40 percent of India’s geographical area. They are especially concentrated in an area known as the “Red corridor”, where they control 92,000 square kilometers. The Red Corridor is almost contiguous from India’s border with Nepal to the northern fringes of Tamil Nadu. The Red Corridor consists of large swathes of Andhra Pradesh, Bihar, Chattisgarh, Jharkhand, Karnataka, Madhya Pradesh, Orissa, Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal states

    • In the last three decades, over 20,000 Hindu civilians in India and Nepal have been killed by the Chinese-supported Naxalites by beheading, slitting throats, skinning alive, burning alive and of course, gunfire and blowing them up with explosives. See Naxal Watch

  22. “[Some may claim that not much more might be needed as the rest of India would not mind losing Bengal or perhaps will not even notice. But since we do not know for sure, further speculation on these lines would be unwarranted]”

    Eventhough I didnt get some of the bengali specific jokes, dude that was hilarious!! ROTFL!!!

  23. Bengal Voice,

    Your long comment regarding the nature of Communists has been moderated. Most of the accusations (for example one about Machmohan Line) came without sources. In any case, I am not asking you for sources because this comment-space isnt a political forum. Comments like the one you made (you have been allowed a few similarly themed comments in this post itself), I have observed, lead to the derailment of the comment thread (it soon becomes a receptacle for ranting comments on “familiar issues”) , something that I want to avoid.

    Thank you.

  24. Great post, dada and obviously sonar bengal marxism and maoism should be added to in the mix.

  25. its actually easy to break china
    stop playing with toys for a while;
    it’ll implode

  26. China is a glorious nation ruled by an inglorious ideology.
    India can help spread democracy and Dharma to the people of China.

    While China only captured a part of Ladakh and Nefa, the land of Bharata once ruled over the great Chinese.

    Want to know how?

    Google the word “Kumarajiva” or “Kumarajeeva”.

    We just need to think outside the box and fund the right ideas…..again.

    PS: Dont even think of pampering the Uigirs. That will be a historical disaster.

  27. If india and indians are strong and united, we don’t have to worry about some chinks cooking up BS plans to disintegrate india…
    but that’s the thing.. are we united??

  28. Jokes aside, I think that the biggest existential threat to India comes from China, not the USA or Pakistan.
    History has shown that 2 big countries can never be adjacent to each other and live in peace (think Britain-France, or France-Germany or France-Spain or China-Japan). Even countries with the same ideology like USSR & China could not live peacefully with each other.
    I think it is time for India to strengthen its defences and prepare for the inevitable attack from China. As China develops its economic and military might, it is only a matter of time before India and China start competing directly with each other for natural resources like oil and iron-ore. At such a time, if India is not militarily strong then China will be tempted to annihilate India militarily and remove its biggest competitor in the world.

  29. That is the GB I love so much. This is exactly how I would have loved this chinese think-tank be dissected. Brilliant article.. tomar mukhe ghee “chini” [ghee and sugar on your face – old bengali twisted idiom].

  30. @sourasis: That is a literal translation of the Hindi “Tumhaare munh mein ghee shakkar.” The Bengali version is “Tomar mukhe phool chandan poruk.”

  31. And GB, oh how could you forget Robi-dadu’s song to the foreign lady proclaiming he was a “Cheeni?” Satyajit Ray even got Soumitra Chattopadhyay dancing to that!

  32. You bet, General Dong gotto be the mastermind behind all these shenanigans.

  33. @anirban .. u r right !! I was wrong !! but who cares.. ‘amigo “chini”go “chini” tomare …’

  34. Happy Janamashtmi GB

  35. errrrr….the threat by china is actually quite plausible…though not in the way described in this article..there is a website devoted to exactly this issue of W Bengal being separated from India…the site is

    Would you actually consider Kashmir a safe place to live in for Indians. Obviously not therefore if W Bengal ends up in a similar situation it would have effectively seceded from India.

    Which will happen in the majority of W Bengal in about another 7 – 10 years

  36. Hi G.B! Chinese Nuts! .. Jaataa.. 🙂

    Please write on how the 8 rare Brazilian monkeys got stolen from Kolkata zoo. (Me thinks that they are right now filling up forms at the Alimuddin street part office)
    Link here :

  37. Gosh that was actually me! Carried too carried away by the monkey business!

  38. Hi Arnab,

    Its a pity that the so called national newspapers like Times of India give front page cover to these kinds of reports 😦 There was a good analysis of this in today’s (aug 17th) Hindu by Anand Krishnan. I am not sure if you get that online 😦



  39. @heejeebeejee

    ROTFL. That was a very funny take on Alimuddin Street. Did you hear the other monkey-joke that is aped from “Management” jokes?

    “The Communist Politburo is like a tree full of monkeys. They are all on different limbs at different levels. Some are climbing up. Some are climbing down. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but a bunch of assholes”.

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