Some readers have noted the lack of reviews on this blog recently. While the fact that I am finishing up my book is one of the reasons why movie-watching has taken a backseat, what has been an even more important contributory factor towards my reticence towards Bollywood has been the presence of a certain Miss Kaif in almost every other major release, an H1N1 of pain.
Make no mistake. Miss Kaif is undoubtedly hot and can do a fine Chika-Chika. But she is definitely the size-zero of histrionic ability and the ground-zero of talent —-from her stilted Hindi to her monotone to the paucity of facial expressions, sometimes so weak as to make “deer-in-headlights” Amisha Patel look like Smita Patil. Not that I would expect Oscar-worthy acting in “Blue” but even then it is difficult to sit through even those little gems when someone is as consistently grating .
But then why did I decide to watch “Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani” then?
Reason number 1: Some people who shall remain nameless said that it was a brainless, light-hearted comedy.
Reason number 2: The director was Rajkumar Santoshi. The man who not only gave us Narasimha-Avatar Sunny Deol “the wounded who tore the world up” dhai-kilo ka haath scenery-chewing brilliance and Ajay-Devgun pissing on the carpet “What the hell was that” weirdness in Halla Bol but also that subversive spoof of Bollywood conventions, Andaz Aapna Aapna with its iconic Crimemaster Gogos and Tejas and Amars and Prems.
The only similarity between Andaz Aapna Aapna and Ajab Prem, besides its director, is that one of the characters is called Prem, the song “Ilo Ilo” plays in both movies and there is a buffoon Don in both. But whereas in Andaz Apna Apna “Main Teja hoon. Mark idhaar hai” and “Paidashi chor hoon. Aaya hoon to kuch leke jayoonga” were sparkling in truly a “brainless” way, “Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani” has the most unoriginal and juvenile of gags straight out of the “Singh is Kingg” genre.
So is the movie enjoyable? Sure it is.
For two kinds of people.
Type 1: You find pidgin English (I poor. I like Jenny. I love Jenny. Jenny beautiful. Jenny class. I no class, Baal silky silky gaal milky milky [yes I know]), the age-old Braganza stereotypes, dialogs like “Agar no bolega to kal raat ko Little Tony bedroom main forcefully tumko aapna wife banayega” and “Mere peeche tatti kar raha hai” to be the height of the comedy and consider Sidhu and Sekhar Suman to be the funniest human beings you have ever heard.
Type 2: You are the type who say “Chooo chweet. That Ranbir and Katrina look soooo good together. What chemistry….totally Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi…that Padukone girl…no no….” and just want to see the hot-and-happening couple together on screen considering the gossip linking the two that conveniently gets extensive air-time before Ranbir and Katrina have a movie together, gossip that I personally am totally unaware of but follow compulsively (“Do you know that Deepika was not there when Ranbir walked the ramp in that fashion show? Uuuuuuuu”)
There is nothing much else to say about the movie. There is no plot, no coherence, no acting and not even a bit of zany brainlessness.
As a matter of fact, it is not even the best movie that has Ghazab in the title—-the honor for that going to “Ghazab Tamasha” with its song where Rahul Roy, in the most amazing Mexican get-up, rides around the circumference of Anu Agarwal on a rickety old horse singing “Deewana Deewana” and where Ms. Agarwal later arrives wearing something that is supposed to be a blonde wig having more laughs in it than the whole running length of “Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani” [Video].
However what it definitely is is that it is a packaged and marketed product designed to make Katrina and Ranbir share as much screen-time together.
Of course that totally works as Ajab Prem Ki Gajaab Kahani is a big hit.
Which just means we will see even more of Ms. Kaif.
And more such imbecility passing off as cinema.
The Greatbong Blog & Podcast 
this movie has a great item song… something AAA lacked… I look forward to listening to Prem ki nayya (remix) on my iPod 😛
2nd?
not such a great movie
Hehe.. Exactly what I have been telling people and being ridiculed by a lot of them.. The only people who hated the movie were “we”(a gang of 5 out of 6) people who went to watch the movie together. Everybody else says.. “Cho chweet”(gals) or “sahi comedy hai(guys)..
True… some body who has respected RKS for AAA and went in hoping for some thing in that calibre — feels cheated 😦
Hi Arnabda,
As a reviewer you have every write to exercise your freedom of expression and so do i as an ordinary citizen of this country. First of all not all movies are produced for intellectuals like you. There is a significant portion of the country that comprises people like me, the lesser intellectuals, who would still like to enjoy the brainless comedy and the melodrama of Chopra and Johar house. With due respects to whatever you wrote, i find this ridiculing of mediocrity disturbing at times. Nothing else da!
I did like one sequence though – the one where Ranbir wears the girlie top. Otherwise too many sequences were rip offs of either Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa (Prem trying to drive a wedge between the lovers) or of AAA (the fight sequence).
Unoriginal, but admittedly, still more enjoyable than total dross like 2012.
Hi,
I’ve been reading ur blog for quite sometime. This is the first time I’m leaving comment.
The movie was so ‘bekar’ that I had to.
Though I don’t share your views regarding Kat, but I totally agree with the movie review.
I went to see it expecting only half of AAA…but its not even comparable.
Although the movie had nothing to offer in terms of Orginality……but it was still far better than the bunch of movies like “Blue”, “Kal Kisne Dekha” and “Dil Bole Hadippa”, to name a few.
I expected another AAA after reading the reviews. Was late for the show I booked my tickets for, and went on to purchase fresh tickets just to see the movie from start. What disappointment!! I dont understnad how anyone with an iota of grey matter can like the movie. Finally left it midway!!!
Ok, I cant expect every movie to be brainy, but then it hasn’t got style too. I mean I liked Kurbaan much much more, its really directed with lot of flamboyance. And then I came to read some interviews of Mr. Santoshi in Rediff and trust me GB, reading that interview after watching this movie is way way more funny.
http://movies.rediff.com/slide-show/2009/nov/13/slide-show-1-interview-with-rajkumar-santoshi.htm
“And more such imbecility passing off as cinema” … exactly. You hit the nail on the head with this review. It’s amazing how such banality goes on to be commercially successful.
I still enjoy reruns of AAA …. it was brilliant. Makes you wonder if Santoshi was really the man behind both these movies!
@ Partha: GB went to watch it expecting it to be a brainless comedy. What disappointed him was that it was not good enough to be categorized as either ‘brainless’ or as a ‘comedy’. Brainlessness can be fun, but mediocrity can’t be.
Have seen his past movies and I liked China Gate and the movie on Bhagat Singh. He used to have a kind of hold in his entire movies.
Been a regular reader for past 3 years, writing for the first time. I think Santoshi made me do this. BTW loved the first comment, this time it’s an Ipod with a twist 🙂
Dada..fatafati. Thanks for reminding the song from Ghazab Tamasha. However, I feel this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-8ms2SX-dI) from the original Ghazab and the film too will give good competition to Ghazab Tamasha…! You have watch the entire dance by Dharmendra and the film to conclude. Janio kirokom laglo.
Now marketing is the king ….
“Deer-in-headlights” please. Nothing “dear” about Amisha Patel.
There is a third type:
Type 3: The type who want to impress their to-be-girlfriends/existing girlfriends/new wives. These kind work out ways and means of putting their ideas across through subtle hints by taking them to movies where love survives everything and is usually rosy to such an extent that families across cultures, castes and SECs dont actually give a damn. And if the to-be-girlfriend/existing girlfriend/new wife is of Type 2, then God help the couple..!!
BTW, I agree with you GB, for a change. People like RKS just fuel mediocrity and idiocy in the country. If a stupid film like this makes millions, then who would ever want to make an intelligent comedy film?
u mean she was supposed to act?…i thought all she had to do was smile…awwwww…
I agree with this review completely. When i went to see this movie last week , i expected it to be real paisa -vasool n full on entertainment considering the hype it had.. n also coz of the fact that one Mr Kazmi had given it a 4 star( pray but why!!).. but the moment it started,little did i realize that i was in for a shock. it was totally an idiotic movie and with gags that would appeal more to a kindergarten kid. How can these senseless acts even pass upon as a rom-com movie?? if some lesser known actors had acted in here, not even a fly would have been there in the theaters!
“dear-in-the-headlights” should be “deer-in-the-headlights”, no?
amisha patel to smita patil was funny … katrina should stick to making ads.
Thankfully I opted to drop this movie ! Good review here 🙂
[quote]reasons why movie-watching has taken a backseat, what has been an even more important contributory factor towards my reticence towards Bollywood has been the presence of a certain Miss Kaif in almost every other major release, an H1N1 of pain.
[/quote]
Couldn’t agree more. Thanks to her excellent PR machine, she has managed to remain in the headlines on most of newspaper/TV channels.
GB,
Why have such unreasonable expectations from Katrina Kaif?
You don’t expect Sachin Tendulkar to be a good singer, do you?
@Deshpremi….we dont expect a cricketer to be a singer…similarly we don’t expect a plastic doll to be an actor….reasonable, isn’t it?
jitaditya,
My point exactly – Katrina is not hired to act. Her job is to look good and give “come-hither” looks – an art form under severe threat ever since the closure of dance bars in Mumbai.
GB,
Narasimha was made by N.Chandra i.e., Chandra Narvekar, the same guy who made Tezaab. The tough-as-nails angry young man image of Sunny arguably may be due to Santoshi’s Ghayal, but Narasimha and N.Chandra perfected it into a real full time nasty badaxx type. The tough-as-nails angry young man differs from the simple AYM in that it’s not his dialogue that will crush you, it’s his fists, full time!
Kaangeya, Yes I know that Narasimha wasnt made by Santoshi. Its just that the lion-man is the perfect image of Sunny-paaji with his roar and his drop-in mane. But Ghayal, Dhamini and Ghatak—–three of his greatest with Gadar definitely the piece d’resistance.
I didnt like the movie.. Gags and comedy were too childish for my taste.. doesnt come any way near to Andaz Apna Apna…
Nice review GB. I am however, confused…did I just see you calling Gadar Sunny’s pièce de résistance? That movie was way too jingoistic for me. I did like Ghayal, Damini and Ghatak though.
Liberal, Gadaar had Sunny paaji in his elements defeating single-handedly the entire Pakistani army by letting out blood-curdling sonic bombs. Jingoism —who cares? This kind of Bollywood glory is what I live for.
Never thought anyone would say seeing more of Ms. Kaif is a problem. Apparently, she has seven sisters who look like her. I don’t know why the Bollywood producers haven’t started casting any of them.
Any semi nude scenes featuring Kaif?
Thou shalt not make fun of Ms. Kaif, ever.
So is the movie not entertaining? Sure it is.
For two kinds of people.
Type 1: You are one of those people who have crossed even their after youth state of mind. You have grown so old ( mentally to be precise) that its tough for you to appreciate a fun filled movie which is full of young and vibrant energy. Probably you have passed that stage where you can even imagine to be the lead characters in the movie, who all are carefree and happy, they wear nice slim fit t-shirts( while you look for XXXXL sweat shirts).
Type 2: You only enjoy loud and crass comedies like welcome & Singh King, where your giggles are directly proportional to the amount of profanities poured out on screen.
GB
Great Review …..totally agree with you . This movie has to be the crappiest movie to have become a hit…if you enjoy brainless comedy get a DVD of Deshdrohi it has more laughs per minute than any movie ever made
I am watching that Ghazab Tamasha video after reading your review. I am literally ROTF.
@ soumtira: You actually saw Kal kisney dekha??? Hats off to you, bro.
@GB probably we have grown up watchin slapstick yet tolerable comedy films such as AAA, Haseena Maan jayegi, Jodi No. 1, Judwaa, etc.. but still I cant understand how people go ga ga over a film such as Ajab prem… its not even juvenile… its too cliched… too forced… and just doesnt work for me.. and I still dont believe that santoshi has lost his touch… i mean, even “Family” had its moments of good acting and direction and before that halla bol… khakee was a fair success (in fact one of the few movies in recent years that didnt have bachchan in an over the top role)…
It seems to be too much of a marketing gimmick rather than a film… Ranbir is on a roll… he does 10-15 get-ups…katrina is on a roll… does a song in greece that makes her look good… and all the anglicised hindi (though i loved the way she said “pilla” heh heh… Santoshi makes a hitchkockian entry…movie worked with the youth…. perhaps our own standards are changing…lets see – kurban doesnt work, all the best is a hit, ABKGK is a hit, blue makes 90 crores opening weekend…. whats the world coming too….
and to believe that ranbir and katrina are the hottest stars in bollywood today…. wait till the marketing starts for rocket singh..
Can any one tell me the reason behind the blind worship of this average film called “Andaz Apna Apna” ? Is it even half as gud really as its being made out to be nowadays ?
At best its an average film – it is not a patch on even an average amitabh bachchan film.. and it cant hld a candle to classic comedies lin Hindi ike Golmaal, Naram garam, Rang Birangi, Angoor, Chhoti si baat, baaton baaton mein etc. Come on guys, even an “Is raat Ka Subah Nahi” had hilarious moments of laughter.. tht was much better than all the jokes in Andaz Apna Apna put together
It took her 5 years to learn how to roll eyes and make faces…..so in another 5 years we can hope to see her throwing dialogs perfectly..and then another 5 years later may be she will learn to act…!!
GB,
I think you need to take a break. Seriously. Nt about your liking/not liking a movie…that’s your headache. But to actually call what you wrote a review is hilarious. Everyting you wrote could be applied to your writings recently…tired, repetitive, lazy.
I thought APKGK was ok…no big deal. Certainly compared to pretentious Kurbaan…it was way better. But then I forget..Kurbaan according to you was bordering on what cinema should be.
AAA..good cinema??? Tell me you are joking. It is at best an OK movie. In this day an age of hyperbole even mediocrity becomes great…something very similar to ‘Don’, which also I believe you praised to be something more than what it actually was..a B movie.
Take a break, friend.
Cheers,
Rahul
Hey m i first to comment?
Went to watch it with my wife to celebrate our first anniversary. She wanted to watch as most of her brainless friends had given glowing tributes to this one.. Came out of the theater in 45 minutes.. I simply could not tolerate it.. In bong we call it ‘Codopyrin maarka boi’..meaning a movie which makes you go for a codopyrin.. Wish I had read this earlier.. 😦
Totally agree with Shan above, the movie was oscar winning when compared to 2012. 2012 is one of the most illogical and absurd movie I have ever seen. APKGK was a drag for first half hour but later was ejoyable later and ranbeer(though I dont like him) did some great work on his dancing skills
ALL AAA HATERS GET THE F*** OUT!!!!!
As Amar would put it in AAA….
“na roop
na rang
na shakal
na akal…….Chale aate hein kahan kahan se”…..LOL
I too was sucked in because of glowing reviews. Hated it from the beginning to end. No originality, no funny jokes, crass acting and shoddy production values.
Movie felt like it was made for a television budget and most of it went to stars with nothing left to pay the writers. Now thinking about the movie still makes me angry even if its been over a week now.
i walked out of the movie in 17.08 minutes. I agree with u greatbong
The movie was crap
Bang on GB