Sunny Side Up

42 Comments

When we were young, the only Sunny we knew was this one guy called Sunil Gavaskar. Some of us knew a  Leone too, some firang director whose spaghetti Westerns like “A Fistful of Dollars” and “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” we had seen on bad-quality VHS tapes loaned from Neha Video Library. But we had never heard of the term p***star and even those who had, never knew that this was a legitimate career option. The word adult star was known but in a different wholly innocent context, like what Jugal Hansraj endeavored to be after his lakdi ke kaathi child-star days in “Masoom”.

Yes we had no idea. But it was not our fault—- we did not have Sunny Leone in Big Boss and the media assault of her advent then. Through the centuries, Indian culture has greatly benefited from those that have travelled to it from distant lands like Hiuen Tsang,  I-ching (There is a B-tex itching joke I am itching to make here), Al Beruni and Ibn-Batuta (who came bagal main joota…yes this joke I had to make) to name a few. To that list of great names, now add that of Sunny Leone (and yes I am tempted to make the “anals” of history joke here) for bringing the word “p***star” into the Indian cultural lexicon, a natural progression of lust-triggers from “vamp” to “item-girl” to now this.

I was particularly pleased by her statement here where she entreated Indians to understand the distinction between p***stars and p**stitutes/g*golos. Though both engage in intimate acts for money there is a subtle difference between them, which some ignoramuses have difficulty wrapping their minds around. One is reality, and the other merely the artistic simulation of it, the difference between an old man reaching out to yank the finger of a naked man and Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam on the Sistine Chapel.

I am also pleased by the step-by-step “break it to desi parents that I am going to be a p***star” algorithm that she has revealed—-first tell them that you will be doing same-sex scenes whose implication is the same as that of a guy telling his parents he is going to a residential engineering college.

Then migrate to telling them it will be with your committed partner (“It’s like marriage but with cameras and no quarrels”) and then finally to other extreme things (“It’s like having friends over” and “Of course it is with someone I am committed to, but you know how I change my mind every 17 minutes”).

The possibilities of p***star becoming a legitimate profession are endless—- a movie called “P***star” with a lot of intellectual salad-dressing that chronicles a woman looking to become a P***star by experiencing pain, Emran Hashmi finally shedding the label of actor and becoming what he truly has been for years, Madhur Bhandarkar to make a simplistic Class 6-type movie on the subject called P*** and then tout his intellectualism by showing he does “story-boards”, a special FX movie between two characters called R.And and G.And who come out of a p-movie to duke it in the real world.

At the very least, I am happy that after decades of flowers kissing, and heroines being drenched under waterfalls and songs like “Hoton sa lagayee to hungama ho gaya” we may finally move to an age where we can legitimately accept, without hand-wringing and chest-beating and the need to brush under the carpet, the existance.

Of porn. And of pornstars.

 

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42 thoughts on “Sunny Side Up

  1. Our Pauli Dam is much Hotter than this Sunny Leone. Last episode of BB5 showcase her Pole Dancing skills. Have to say it was awful

  2. GB,you talked of the hypocrisy and “the need to brush under the carpet, the existance of pornstars”.Sunny,inspite of being in demand, is ashamed of being a pornstar and not wearing her badge with pride.she hid her profession is proof enough.
    maybe she’s accumulated enough money now to quit.I won’t rant in the name of indian culture,but you seem to be suggesting that teenagers have a need for porno…

  3. 8 hours have gone by since you published the post and still there is just one comment ??? surely Sunny Deol (the lookalike) must be trending over Sunny Leone again…
    btw, after following your blog for more than 4 years… this is my 1st comment ;)…. just imagine, what nostalgia does to people !

  4. Do I sniff a saffron/green/white/black/nlue controversy here? Not the usual barrage of comments, are ppl shying away from this article?

    In anycase, Ms Karen Malhotra aka Sunny Leone is doing a great service to the millions of hungry (jism ka bhooka) masses 😛

  5. “the difference between an old man reaching out to yank the finger of a naked man and Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam on the Sistine Chapel.”

    Superb!!!

  6. We are all shying away from it. I am surprised that no watchdog or some other television body had nothing to say on it. Neither Ambica soni nor Sushma swaraj or any other political party raise this issue. No Comments from the usual brigades either. Every one shying away as PJMan said before.

    It is surely an end of innocence. But whose? The question is should we allow such a topic on prime time tv. (I agree the show is late night, but it is discussed).I am not enraged at sunny’s career choice.

    With all due respect to first amendment and all rights of expression, speech etc etc. We need to be careful on what we allow ourselves to see on TV. shouldn’t we?

  7. I must say arnab tis s one of your best pieces. I thot you were gonna be ultra serious with this one, but you have done a good satirical piece. R.And and G.And and the Emran Hashmi jibes are ulti.. The best part was the ToI article, courtesy leone ToI could start a PoI : porn of india too…

  8. Dear Mr. Bong,
    It seems the business of writing has taken over u. You have lost ur mojo. I m so disappointed after reading ur last few posts. I might never read ur blog again. i m so sad .

  9. @rudhra u r such mad i think Sunny leaon is the most beautifl contestnt ever came to bigboss perhps she is more prettier than any bollywood actress.

    even after being an adult star she has the guts to come infront and for Paoli Dam is the ugliest actress in the world. with Paoli’s black tyer like assets nobody will perhps see her again or vomit if paoli was a adult star. i like sunny leaon

  10. Neha Video Library? Sounds suspiciously familiar to a place I used to frequent in the early 90’s. Is the one you are referring to a real place? If so, where is/was it?

  11. “a special FX movie between two characters called R.And and G.And who come out of a p-movie to duke it in the real world.”…This line reminds me the Old GB is still not dead, albiet on Coma these days.
    As Tennyson once said for Ulysses – “Though much is taken, much abides…”

  12. Brilliant!

    “I was particularly pleased by her statement here where she entreated Indians to understand the distinction between p***stars and p**stitutes/g*golos. Though both engage in intimate acts for money there is a subtle difference between them, which some ignoramuses have difficulty wrapping their minds around. One is reality, and the other merely the artistic simulation of it, the difference between an old man reaching out to yank the finger of a naked man and Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam on the Sistine Chapel.”

    Just that paragraph rolled back the years, Sire!

  13. nice post…the demented mind is still has some life in it, but Madhur Bhandarkar is an easy target no…I was half expecting a Chetan Bhagat reference somewhere too.

  14. Hi, GB
    of course its your block, and you are free to choose your topic, but given that you are a good writer, (something I cannot say of a lot of the bloggers), I do wish you chose more serious topics. I mean, majority of your recent blogs have been film reviews and on TV programmes.

  15. @GB: Why that duration of changing mind is (precise) 17 minutes? Any statistics for that you got from your trusted sources?

  16. You know the words ‘PORN’/’PORNSTAR’ don’t need to be censored. How prudish do u have to be with ur blog…Srsly grow up!

  17. @MumbaiMeriJaan
    We he did spell the words without stars. At the end. Which makes it clear why he was putting those *s in the beginning.
    Well one thing we can safely say; GB is not prudish when it comes to these things….regular readers can vouch for this.
    No 6 year old reads this blog….people who are a bit mature should be able to handle the subjects discussed here 🙂

  18. @MumbaiMeriJaan – re-read the second last paragraph, to understand why those words were censored before and uncensored at the end. #thatawkwardmomentwhenyouhavetoexplainajoke

  19. good article…but too few comments..where have all the people gone..or is it that commenting on a blog referring to a porn star are hurting them ?? 🙂

  20. Sir, I must complain. How dare you say she changes her mind every 17 minutes?

    What … I mean, just how can you say that?? The good ones are at least 25-32 minutes! I demand a retraction!

  21. “One is reality, and the other merely the artistic simulation of it, the difference between an old man reaching out to yank the finger of a naked man and Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam on the Sistine Chapel.”
    Damn!! GB, this has to be the funniest lines I’ve ever read in my lifetime. Vintage GB, one of the best I’ve read.

  22. One of your best pieces Arnab da. Have been religiously subscribed to your blog for the last year. Must say, this one and the piece on Eden Gardens are the best of the latest.

    Just one small point. The “Leone” mentioned in the first para (director of those legendary Spaghetti (err, ahem..) Westerns was a Sergio. Sergio Leone.

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