Jaani Dushman Ek Anokhi Kahani—the Review

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Film critics from Peshawar to Pondicherry acknowledge Raj Kumar Kohli’s “Jaani Dushman–Ek Anonkhi Kahani (2002)” (released 5 years ago on August 15) to be one of the greatest horror/ science-fiction movies ever to be made in the history of celluloid. And the reason for that is because Jaani Dushman is one of those rare genre-busting movies where fear operates at many levels—some levels being so subtle that you realize the true horror of what you have just witnessed, many hours or even days after the end credits have rolled, as you wake up in the dead of night , cold sweat running down your brow and the front of your pyjamas wet, with Sonu Nigam’s (as one of the hero’s) effeminate, uber-girlie “bhaiyya bhaiyya” ringing in your ears in a petrifying cadence.

First the story. Monisha Koirala (a college student) and Sunny Deol (an alumni of the same college) are in love, hanging out in an august group of vidyarthis (Akshay Kumar, Suniel Shetty, Sonu Nigam, Aftab Shivdasani, Arshad Warsi, Aditya Pancholi, Sharad Kapoor and assorted out-of-work Bollywood actors) —a group which harbors two rotten apples (Rajat Bedi and Siddharth) whose every waking hour is spent in designing and implementing plans to molest Monisha Koirala.

That’s however not all that Monisha has to contend with. Everybody knows that the one thing every young girl fears is discovering, once she has given her heart to someone, that she was a serpent in her past life and that her snake husband wants her back. Guess what? That fear comes true for the poor Monisha.

As the tale goes, many eons ago, Monisha used to be a serpent (an anaconda most probably considering her considerable size) in love with another serpent (Munish aka Armaan Kohli, son of the director), two kindred spirits who spend their time dancing on top of mountains. One day bunker-buster Monisha gets too passionate with her thumps and a cave gets flattened—a cave in which powerful tantrik sage Amrish Puri had spent centuries, doing what men do when they are alone. Enraged at being disturbed just before he was going to obtain “enlightenment”, Amrish Puri curses Monisha to die, before the sun goes down, as punishment for interrupting his reverie.

Horrified at this curse that has befallen them, Monisha and Munish beg for forgiveness . In a chilling scene too painful to look at, they alternately bang their head on the rocks in front of them, one going up while the other going down, each saying “Hume kshama kar di jiye maharaj” in a masochistic rhythm of skull hitting igneous rocks.

Even though touched by this bone-crunching display of remorse, Amrish Puri tells the twosome that, regrettably, what has left one of his orifices cannot come back.

Monisha has to die.

But Munish can live, trapped inside a tree such that he sees no other woman, till the 21st century when Puri prophecizes Monisha will be reborn again as a woman (till that , she was possibly going to be reborn each time as a man or some other animal ) at which point he can reunite with his mate.

Cut to the present day. Monisha, in a state of tumult having to chose between her present love and the guy who had been waiting for her inside a tree for centuries, is invited to a party by her band of friends. What she does not know is that the evil duo of Rajat Bedi and Siddharth, through an insidiously devious plot entailing the mimicking of the voices of all their friends, have called her one hour before the party begins. Taking advantage of this window of opportunity before the others arrive, they proceed to ravish her, after which Monisha commits suicide. Thinking that all her friends were in on the plot, she threatens a horrible death to everyone, before she enters the netherworld.

This is when the kill frenzy begins. Monisha, an avenging spirit of death with the ability to enter bodies at will and Munish , a powerful icchadharin nagin who morphs into the buxom Rambha (picture to left) and lets out bursts of smelly gas from his mouth (picture above) with equal ease, take revenge one by one on the gay (as in happy) group of pals, dispatching each of them in bizarrely innovative ways while you, the audience, with sweaty palms and clenched teeth, keep asking yourself:

“Who will survive? And what will be left of them?”

Transcending the scary story is the terror that defines the dystopic world director Raj Kumar Kohli paints with strokes of his directorial pen. A world where Suniel Shetty, Akshay Kumar, Sharad Kapoor and Aditya Pancholi are college students, one of whom (Akshay Kumar) even brings a gun to school. A world where Raj Babbar, the principal of the said college, despite being a Catholic priest engages in pagan rituals like seances and presides over boxing matches. A world where Monisha and her female room-mate shower together, with the camera taking as wide an angle possible to accommodate both in the same frame. A world where Sonu Nigam wears red trousers and dances like a cheerleader. A world where people declare ” main to apne Nita se Internet pe shaadi karoonga” . A world where Jaspal Bhatti is a boxing coach.

Truly a twilight zone.

Some of the spine-tingling chills in “Jaani Dushman” originate from the director’s tapping into some of our basest fears (the fear of finding out during suhaag raat that your dulhan is actually a skeleton who likes rough sex [first picture], the fear of being French-kissed by a python [left picture]) while some of the scream moments are brought to life by the depiction of gratuitous acts of blood-letting (Arshad Warsi is electrocuted in a pool in a gruesome fashion—no wonder his most famous role would be as a character named Circuit).

However what really elevates the movie to epic greatness is the terror implicit in some of its lines, the kind of horror that grips you with its significance the more you think of it.

Like when a policeman declares, with a straight face,

Dulhan to naheen hain, sirf unke kapre hain yahaan

And in the following exchange:

Monisha to evil men: “Tum log kisi ki izzat naheen karte.”

Evil men to Monisha: “Sabke izzat karenge to izzat lootenge kiski?

And most of all, in the scene where the entire college is pleading with Monisha Koirala to forgive the evil men, after their first attempt at izzat lootna.

Shetty: Come on Divya, maaf kar de galti kisi se bhi ho sakti hai.

Monisha: Agar ye harkat kisi ne Priety ke saath ki hoti to tum kya karte.

Shetty: Haath paar tod deta, lekin filhaal tumse haath jodke maafi mang rahe hain yaar. Maaf karde

Akshay Kumar: Divya, ek baat kahe tum jaisi khoobsurat ladki ko dekhkar ek mare hue aadmi ka bhi dil dhadak uthe fir to ye jeete jaagte naujawan hain inka kya haal hoga.

Sonu Nigam: Divya, jahan sab log tumhe itna mana rahe hain, wahan tumhe man lena chahiye. Naheen to hum samjhenge tumhe aapni khoobsoorati pe kuch zyada garoor hain. Come on please…maaf kar do unhe.

Scary.

Any review of Jaani Dushman would be incomplete without a mention of its mind-numbing special effects. Munish flies. Walks on water. Rides his scooter into the sky. Morphs into a man in a black trench-coat and dark shades who avoids bullets in super-slow mo while ripping to shreds all laws of physics. (I somehow cannot remember right now which Hollywood movie plagiarized these effects—”ma” mind must be playing “trix” on me).

That’s not all. In a stunning bit of science-fiction imagination, the “icchadari naag” Munish is conceived as being made of a kind of liquid metal—so that each time he explodes when struck with a rocket from a rocket launcher, he “disintegrates” and reassembles himself, making himself impossible to terminate.

Of course, the presence of such mind-blowing SFX is only to be expected when one of the technical people in charge (as per opening credits) is a person by the name of Kuku Cuckoo.

Summing up, “Jaani Dushman Ek Anokhi Kahani” is a modern classic that combines the snake “nagin” mythology with the latest computer generated special effects (not to speak of a generous garnishing of Sonu Nigam), in the process defining a new benchmark for movie excellence .

But be warned. This is not for the faint of heart or for those who bang their heads against hard objects at the slightest provocation, asking for mercy.

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89 thoughts on “Jaani Dushman Ek Anokhi Kahani—the Review

  1. This is one of the classics we used to talk about in college. Thanks for bringing back so many memories. Special mention must be made of the Javed-Bhai song where Sonu Nigam defies all fashion norms known to man :D

  2. Amamzing choice of pics. I may never have the privilege to see this flick, but I can say that I have read the review.

  3. How do you hear about such movies, and how do you go about getting your hands on them ? Simply amazing. I just watched Mithun-da’s “Coolie” – a bengali movie and its so bad that I’m vowing not to watch another one in the next 2 weeks. What a waste of human and financial capital. I hear Goldman is preparing an exchange where we can trade options on the future box office-worthiness of a movie. No prizes for guessing which movies will be shorted the most.

  4. oh man! you have got to be joking. finally a review of this movie.
    i had the unfortunate experiance of watching it on the big screen 5 yrs ago. but it was with a bunch of cousins, so was a memorable experience! :)
    btw, how come the ‘javed bhai’ song didn’t get a mention. i mean you had sonu dancing and singing amidst all that fear and tension, give him some credit.

    in my opinion this movie is way way up there with all the sholays and mughl-e-azams. too good.

  5. Oh man, I saw this movie five years ago, in a cheap 20 buck theatre with a bunch of inebriated friends. It was most enjoyable.

    Parts of it were shot in Navi Mumbai.

  6. @ Bengali Guy

    “I hear Goldman is preparing an exchange where we can trade options on the future box office-worthiness of a movie. “

    What an interesting idea? I would love to be an option trader on that exchange.

    @ GB
    Would you trash the movies that I have shorted -with your reviews in exchange for a fabulous fee? Remember I’m the first one to make this offer :)

  7. One day bunker-buster Monisha gets too passionate with her thumps and a cave gets flattened—a cave in which powerful tantrik sage Amrish Puri had spent centuries, doing what men do when they are alone. Enraged at being disturbed just before he was going to obtain “enlightenment”,
    Oh My God!!!!!
    This is Awesome…………………
    Must See this one
    LOL GB,
    Great Post and keep it coming!!

  8. I was waiting a long while for something of this sort to emanate from your corner. Now that it has, I stand enthralled. …..How about reviewing “Jo bole so nihaal…” for us??

  9. “powerful tantrik sage Amrish Puri had spent centuries, doing what men do when they are alone.”

    this brought to mind ur words in an earlier post about the ‘unbearable heaviness of being’.
    buddy, ur a rockstar. :-)

  10. LOLz

    “Sonu Nigam’s (as one of the hero’s) effeminate, uber-girlie “bhaiyya bhaiyya” ringing in your ears in a petrifying cadence.”

    I happened to watch the movie when I was in college, awesome stuff. Do write review for the Original Jaani Dushman (Sunil Dutt, Sanjeev Kumar, Shotgun Sinha) and there was one more nagin thriller with Sunil Dutt and host of other people (Kabir Bedi, Reena Roy etc) I can’t remember the name

  11. Great review GB. And to think that TV channels love to inflict this torture (read: telecast) this movie every now and then. I always wondered what made Sunny, Suniel, Manisha (or even Sonu) etc. do this movie? Probably they were repaying some old debt to the director. Horrendous story and screenplay, not to talk of performances. But you have to admit, the movie had great special effects (Cukoo was the editor by the way). Pity they didn’t use the technology for some original stuff though. Finally my only thoughts after seeing this movie were for Arman Kohli (not an original line, it has been used elsewhere for Fardeen Khan): with a father like this, who needs enemies?

  12. @Anonymous coward

    hey GB,

    isnt it “Manisha Koirala” not “Monisha Koirala” ?

    It is Monisha Koirala in Bong. She is a Nepali and she is close to a Bengali than the Bollywood land of India. So, amar Arnab da is right.

  13. haha – awesome. Zee cinema shows this quite often and i somehow end up watching it (and then get worried). Now i see that i am in august company.

  14. Yesss! Finally you have acknowledged what is at the pinnacle of Indian cinema. Jaani Dushman will occupy that slot for eternity. This is my boon to the people of the world

    /me goes back to my cave to do what lonely men do best :D

  15. Haha, another great review as usual. I gave it a complete miss (I know, I know!), but given how strongly the original Jaani Dushman had affected me, seeing this one too would have irrepairably damaged me!

  16. “Monisha used to be a serpent (an anaconda most probably considering her considerable size)”
    This was the best line…
    Howlarious review… fantastic.. got back a lot of old memories..

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  18. I read this article on my cell-phone during a lecture in coll. My 1st reaction was that i’ll have to definitely watch the movie since you dont normally get right minded ‘modern’ indians reccomending a hindi movie so fervently.
    My friend, who claims to have seen it told me to fuhget it and that it was a monotonously hilarious watch. He reccomended ‘raat’ and ‘…haveli’ are better…i havent seen either of them too so i wudnt really know….

  19. Lol,I saw Nagin,the movie thequark is referring to.It is the movie that “inspired” this work of Art,Jaani Dushman.THat one had an equally weird motley crew of actors like Feroz “Wallahh” Khan,Sanjay “Tipu Sultan” Khan,Anil “B Grade movies and Shitty serials” Dhawan,Vinod “Who’s he” Mehra,Kabir “Beard” Bedi and Sunil “Thakur” Dutt not to forget a special appearance by the Jumping Jack Flasher Jeetendra.I wonder how Rajkumar Kohli manages to persuade them to act in such masterpieces.Of course,this movie doesn’t fall in the league of Prabhuji’s classics like Gunda and Loha.

  20. I remember the first time I saw Jaani Dushman.
    A movie that changed the way I look at cinema.

    I can never forget the destruction Akshay Kumar commits: pulling out a pistol, an automatic, a machine gun, a bazooka out of a motorbike in the middle of an empty shipping yard. Such scenes form the base of great cinema. And then, of course, the reforming sunglasses on a speeding Munish.

    Truly a cinematic spectacle that lies in a class all of its own.

    Now, if only someone would dare watch it with me… again.

  21. God review, GB !

    One thing I recall is how in each scene, each of the “heroes” speak in a round-robin way: Shetty says something, Sonu Nigam says something, Akshay Kumar says something and so in till it circles back to the first speaker.

    Manisha looks like a huge slab of meat throughout Jaani Dushman. I always thought that Rajat Bedi and Siddharth were trying to chop her into small pieces and barbeque her.

  22. Sam Aug 13th, 2007 at 2:34 am

    “Someday I am going to burgle your DVD collection, what else have stocked up ?”

    Watch out GB, if he wants to “burgle” your DVD collection, what pray tell does he want to do with you? *insert hindi humor sound effect *

  23. “Arshad Warsi is electrocuted in a pool in a gruesome fashion—no wonder his most famous role would be as a character named Circuit” ——- too good GB. I think I should now watch this movie :D

  24. mmm…is this the point i confess I have watched this movie perhaps every time it has been telecast on tv (ok, i confess, I have no life) ? You get to enjoy this movie due to a constant surprise (shock?) at the sheer innovation and imagination of the director (who must be a very disturbed character). Its like one of those books where you find something new to mull over every time you read it. I mean, here we have all the movies and soap operas one could ever think of brought together in a three hour mash, what with rebirths, love triangles, religious issues, murders, rape, thrillers, horror, comedy (intentional and otherwise) and people not being people they should have been and a parody by Sonu Nigam of himself. If this is not the pinnacle of Hindi Cinema, what is?

  25. agree with Ad…

    if this is not the greatest of Hindi Cinema what is…

    Unimaginable bias and some lobbyist intellectuals did not let it go to Oscars..Otherwise todaay history would have been rewritten…

  26. Arnab,

    What do you do after you sit through such future defining classics. Have some digestive potion or jump up and down incessantly or pull your hair out or something else??????

    You should get Bharat Ratna for patience and nonchalance!!!!!!

    Or at least, a lifetime achievement award from Filmfare(Phillumfare?).

  27. One of the classics that I do not miss any time it is up on Zee Cinema, Set Max or any other hindi movie channels…Another dialogue that I clearly remember and that depicts ‘India shining’ like anything is when one of the policemen says “Poore jungle mein fit closed circuit camera pe humein koi nahin dikha”

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  30. thank you arnab da for reviewing yet another gem gone unnoticed by the cruel mainstrea m world.
    I would also liek to extend my thanks to the Zee Tv franchise for showing this movie on almost a weekly basis on one of their 6 movie/entertainment channels.

    I would also like to present the abstract of the research paper and me and some of my friends doled out after watching this movie on a lazy saturday afternoon. Its titled ‘On icchadhari Naags and their ability of retaining vehicles-of-crime in their bodily orifices’. It was established by some advanced techniques that the subject[Armaan Kohli in this case; wannabe Munnabhais may please sit down] used a part of his human physiology oft unexposed to the sun for storing his favourite vehicle of crime, aka a hovercraft-cum-mobike. I apologise for being unable to recall further details as I am under the infulenece of a bottle of swadeshi wine cooling in a handi full of swadeshi ice right now. Grammar/spelling nazis may please excuse me for the same reason.

  31. A long time reader of your blog, I was hoping this would have been a review done by you a long time ago…. I was wondering whether you missed this masterpiece or not. However, I guess you finally made it.

    Saw it the month after it was released. An Oscar wining performance (unless Gunda gets it ofcourse!), I would like to give Raj Babbar the award for the best supporting actor for this movie. You totally ignored him. But I would say, with such stellar performances from all, his contribution is easily overlooked. But I agree, this movie is not for the faint hearted!

  32. LOL!
    My friends and I 3 old uncles totaled 15 people watching the movie in a cinema-hall at 2pm in the afternoon. The scene where Sunny Deol fights and saves Sonu Nigam was priceless. For those who’ve watched the movie, each one of us at some point in the fight went like this…

    “He’s still wearing his headphones!”

    “Oh”

    ROFL!

  33. LOL!

    My friends and I <plus> 3 old uncles totaled 15 people watching the movie in a cinema-hall at 2pm in the afternoon. The scene where Sunny Deol fights and saves Sonu Nigam was priceless. For those who’ve watched the movie, each one of us at some point in the fight went like this…

    “He’s still wearing his headphones!”
    <2 seconds of silence>

    “Oh”

    ROFL!

  34. I searched for ‘Jaani Dushman’ on wikipedia and uncovered some more gems ..

    1. ‘Jaani Dushman’ (2002), a Hindi fantasy film about a snake with the ability to transform itself into any form which takes revenge for the suicide of its lover on the people who caused it.

    2. Divya and Vivek hang out with quite a few young people of their own age and those 70 yrs older, including Atul(birthday boy!!), Vijay, Prem, Ashok, Nita, Rashmi, Adheer, Niki, and Priti

    3. The story idea is credited to Aatish.(kudos to Aatish!)

    4. It didn’t fare very well on boxoffice A centers and was criticised heavily for everything however, in B.P.O and Call centers it was a good hit and some places (like Bonkode) superhit.

    5. Film left Father-Son duo so devestaed that they didn’t make anymore commercially disastrous venture thereafter.

    6. Cast and characters
    Man who looks like his family .. Amit Shinde.
    Vivek Sexyna .. Sonu Nigger
    Priti’s father .. Raza Gonad
    Nita .. Bimbo (actress)
    Rashmi .. Kiran Bedi
    Vijay .. Sunil Gavaskar

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaani_Dushman:_Ek_Anokhi_Kahani

  35. Excellent Review. But I think you ought to have mentioned the master blaster of them all sunny deol a bit more. The way Munish isnt getting destroyed by bullets or fire or anything else for that matter but is still unable to handle the punches coming at the end from the DHAI KILO KA HAATH of Sunny Bhai, son of Hathoda man (Dharmendra).

    A great review anyway of one of the most pathetic movie I ever saw…

  36. @Smartboy: In case you didnt notice, the Tantrik had said that Munish would meet his match in front of a true-of-heart (or perhaps blank-of-brain). Hence he was taking damage from Sunny’s bunnies but was impervious to weapons of mass destruction.

  37. I was dumbstruck when I watched Jaani Dushman at a friend’s house. I’m sure Kohli’s cinematic gem has caused Ed Wood Jr. to turn green with envy in his grave – it’s afterall reached a level of excellence he could never achieve in his lifetine! What a wonderful review!

  38. aah what a movie! what a movie!! second on my all time great list after the salman khan starrer Suryavanshi (not to be confuse with the Amitabh gem Suryavansham).

  39. Great stuff.

    I’ve watched this movie about 40 times and discover shocking new revelations that the director has expertly layered into reel by agonizing reel! There are many gems in the movie that I’ll probably remember in my next life (or if I’m cursed into living in a tree) . Sample a couple of them:
    1. Munish the ichadari naag walking into the scene where Manisha is in her deathbed after being ravaged. You’ve got the motley crue of jokers , and Munish walks in like he’s walking into the gym!!! Watch his expression as he walks in and when he feasts his eyes upon the dying Munisha- its PRICELESS.
    2. Climax scene where Sunny deol (terminator,predator,ghostbuster all rolled into one) tears (you heard me right…TEARS) the villian Munish up into 2 parts and throws him into molten lava!

  40. OMG! U actually wrote a review of this, this…I cant even call this a movie! I did watch a part of this movie…dint know dat a skeleton can also have smthng called muscular bones!!!!

  41. Jesus Christ ! How do you do this man ….. I fell off my chair laughing !

    I wonder if films like this are made anywhere in the world. I love India :)

  42. I had this link for a long time…today, sitting in office on saturday morning, the perfect way to unwind….and be nostalgic about the time when i saw this movie…complete..even went through the advertisements that were splashed mercifully to amend the sin!

    it gave an urge to bang my head against the wall…head-banging…something i was never fond of before.

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  44. the movie promos had sonu nigam saying ” is movie mein jo special effects hai, pure brahmand mein aise effects kahi dekhne ko nahi milenge.”

  45. I was hoping you had reviewed this movie,especially since I read the “Tehelka” review first.
    Great post! :-)
    I would suggest that you watch the latest RGV Horror flick and review it too ,It’s called “Phoonk”.It gets wayyy too funny,especially as the story progresses.

  46. I was re reading the post bcoz that movie being the worst one i ever saw,i was wondering it you were ‘really’ writing a true review..Even the first few comments made me feel that the review wasn’t sarcastic..Sorry for my poor sense of humour,but as a person said,it would be the worst treat one can give to his/her enemies.. I even wonder what made the director and actors think that people are dumb enough to feel great watching all those crappy animations and dialogues..I am glad this post popped up in the sidebar :)

  47. Pingback: the Bollywood “epic”, a Romantic Vampire & the Boy from Hell.. « The Dark Night Chronicles Of The Dark kNight

  48. This is the most hilarious film i have ever seen and whenever i am depressed i make it a point to watch this movie…raj babbar deserves an national award for his french beard and his english dialgoues…he plays the role of priest better than anyone cud have done….i was surprised why his role was less. nevertheless he is truly a legendary actor. we r hoping to c more of him in the near future!!

  49. Raj Babbar looks like a rapist more than a priest in this movie….he looks everything other than a father….his makeup is so fake. he doesnt look serious in most of the scenes…he starts laughing lifting the trophy in the moxing match…this is indeed a hilrious film and we alove watching it everytime it comes on tv.

  50. Pingback: Bollywood aur Bhoot: the avatars | A Time To Reflect

  51. oops, i am so very sorry. i accidently wrote that slumdog comment on jaani dushman blog. i thought that i was writing on the slumdog blog. i would like to know what did u think of my mom in this movie. she is the bride.

  52. Pingback: Masters of Horror—Part 1 | Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind

  53. Really??
    you call this movie a milestone in bollywood film making. Jeez, you really should reconsider this fancy blog and the piece of crap that you review. Do you have so much time at your disposal, that you review this Crap?
    I mean, I understand that the whole bollywood is bunch of jokers, who copy everything from hollywood and terribly suck at it, but this movie is stupidity at its worst. I’d rather watch the blue screen of my TV that’s displayed when there’s no signal reception.

    This junk, which is one more example why this bollywood ain’t worth shit, made me think when I was watching it (nothing better was being telecast at that time!!)… I kept asking myself… WTF is this?

    You want some reviews. Well consult me. I’ll show you how movies are reviewed. because the movies I review are not just movies, they are masterpieces. Two of such masterpieces have been mentioned by you in here (Coincidentally, the matrix trilogy and the terminator franchise are amongst my all time favs.)

    No offense mate, but calling this movie even “Less Pathetic” is an insult to the word Pathetic!!

    F*** bollywood and the stupid ass clowns it’s composed off!!

  54. 2 gems that people have missed out on:

    1) Generally actors look at each other when they say their dialogues but in this blockbuster, all actors look at the camera while saying their dialogues. Genius

    2) In my schools plays, we would stand side by side. The actor whose line is to be delivered comes ahead, say his lines and goes back again. Similar behavior in the movie. I think the director must have acted in many school plays

    Greatbong, you rule

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