Having been a PhD student not so long ago, I remember spending countless nights wringing in anguish worrying about rejected papers, research plans, the shrinking job market in academia as well as research labs in the US for pure computer science researchers , the dreaded “our research interests do not align with yours” letters of rejection and ruing how the specialization of my PhD had woefully restricted the positions I could apply for. At the same time that I tossed and turned in agony, Masters students from the same department were juggling multiple overtly generous offers from the big hotshots for “product development” type jobs. However, I did not let that get to me in any way and instead told myself and my similarly anguished fellow-PhD-candidates in the way of consolation: “Well they will never be able to define their own work. And most importantly they will never be able to put a PhD after their names”.
Yes I firmly believe that when these fat-cat Masters speed by on their Lexuses wearing non-Walmart clothing, thinking of the health of their stock options, and look at me on the street kicking the bumper of my worn-down 94 Honda as I try to get it to start, they feel a sensation of emptiness in the pit of their stomachs, awash with the realization that, paraphrasing from Deewar, “iske paas maa hain”.
Or in other words, a PhD and a level of academic independence.
My PhD-pride, never in short supply, brimmethed over when a few months ago I learnt that Shilpa Shetty can, like me, put a Doctorate before her name—-with her degree having been given by the Leeds Metropolitan University in honor of a significant body of work in the areas of anti-racism struggle, butt-thrusting, navel exposing and “UP Bihar lootna”. Or as the eminent university official Mr. Kumar succinctly put it: ” for making a difference to society and using all her talents to the full.”
Yes the talented Ms. Shetty. I recollect making conference presentations, early in the morning, to somnolent audiences slumping in their chairs , with the only ones excited being the ones who felt I had not cited their work. And then when I see the way Ms. Shetty packages her research presentations making the audience go wild with excitement even when all they hear is “Chiki chiki chiki ta chiki ta”, I realize why Ms. Shetty is now Dr. Shetty. If any further proof was ever needed of her sagacity it was when after the Richard Gere kissing controversy she compared herself to Lord Shiva saying if He could have swallowed poison so shall She (it was not clear if Gere’s saliva was being referred to as poison here) thus revealing a defining characteristic of a good PhD: thinking oneself to be God.
Of late, I believe that someone should hood the new Shilpa Shetty-wannabe Rakhi Sawant, if only to cover her fake bouncers up, because that self-martyring lady has it in her to be a good PhD. For starters, she has opinions on everything—from how Sonu Nigam should deal with man-love, to what should be done to make the Indian cricketers to perform better (make their wives and girl-friends sit in front row taake unki aankhein idhar udhar na bhaatke) not to speak of worthy mongraphs on topics like how “kaapre utaarna koi asaan baat naheen hain sir”(Link no longer present: source Prabhu Chawla interview) which translates to “It’s not easy taking of one’s clothes”. I specially like the fact that she tries to explain everything in the world with her own pet theory , a common trait among researchers who develop a theory and then try to solve every problem, sometimes forcibly, with it. This silver bullet theory in question—-simply that Rakhi Sawant is very hot and everyone wants her, which is how all her soundbytes end whether it be on cricket, society or the Grand Unification Theory.
But I should point out that a PhD is not for everyone. And I would strongly oppose any attempt to give Rakhi Sawant-wannabe Mona Chopra (or as she know calls herself Sheryln Chopra) a PhD, despite her most sincere attempts. Let me explain why. One of the things professors hate is that “generic” mail from prospective PhD candidates which follows the following template “Sir, I am interested in networks and have, ever since I was toilet-trained, wanted to work with you”—they hate it even more if the professor concerned does not works in networks. Receiving a mail like this means a few things—1) this guy is sending this mail to hundreds of professors saying the same patently false thing 2) this guy has either not read the professor’s webpage or has no idea of what networks is or what the professor does for a living.
A similar mistake is made by Mona Chopra in this exchange. (link courtesy Bongopondit and may be quasi-unsafe for work)
Q:Would you like to act in a porn flick?
A: It depends on who will be directing it. I like Martin Scorsese. If he is the one, then I’d go to any extent for him.
Now as we all know that Martin Scorsese does not make porn flicks nor has he ever expressed any inclination to do so. (and no the movie is called “Gangs of New York” and not “Gangbangs in New York”). It is obvious that Ms. Chopra has not done any research and has just mentioned the biggest name she could think of (like many desi PhD prospectives mention “networking” because they have been told its “hot”). Even if she had said “C”-cup-olla I could understood but Marty?
Unfortunately this horrible mistake ruins the rest of her application which had some positives like a clear statement of past work(especially in the domain of multimedia streaming), experience with using analysis tools for self-satisfaction and even some quantitative data (the ratios 1:3, 2:4 etc) —something that attests for experience in a field of interest much more than glorious declarations of intent.
This post, like my thesis, has become quite verbose and runs the risk of being read about the same number of people who read that dense tome. Which is why I shall stop here and remind readers that no matter how much those Masters and Bachelors earn or go up the corporate ladder they shall never have what a PhD has— a mark of excellence, a recognition of superiority.
Kind of like the “Export quality” label that they used to put on my box of Bapi baniyaan.
[This post was written in response to a mail I got long ago from a reader asking me to write a post on advice for prospective PhD students]
Nice post, Dr. Bong — the Philosophiae Doctor (lit. the teacher of love of wisdom) — my salutations.
I should’ve read this post six months ago! Probably that would’ve saved me.
Quite charming and lucid read this one is, as your other posts. Some points: PhD may be tougher to get but it’s an unavailing comparision between Master/Bachelor degrees and PhD. Both have inherent level of difficulties and strengths. PhD means your work becomes very selective & directed in a singular domain. In corporate world employees are increasingly encouraged to have throughput equalling our great old Vinci . Should you be an expert “who know more about less things” , or you should become great (and not excellent) on most things?
Brilliant, typical GB post !!
Right now, I’m at a very confused stage, having completed my Masters in Economics vacillating between “to PhD or not to PhD” !! Thanks to this post, I now have a clearer perspective 
.
Phd- Piled High and Deep….
The height of dedication and depth of knowledge cannot be taken away.
btw.. myself..just managed to scrape through Masters with a below average grade… thankfully nobody cares about grade in my profession
gosh, now you’ve put me in a dilemma! i don’t have a masters let alone a phd and neither do i have what shilpa shetty and rakhi sawant do. so what is my standing in this universe???? lord shiva - please help and no i will not drink poison! that was a fun read.
Hi GB, have been reading ur posts for quite sometime..they r extremely humourous..potato highly defective - for phd…hahahaha, too good!
Ei tyo guru, ekei bole “ostaader maar”. Kotha hobe na, you made my day!! Thank you very much for the post.
I have been paining myself a lot the past few months going over this dilemma whether it was the right thing for me at a stage to not quit after my Masters & alternately take the plunge to PhD. Needless to mention that I convinced myself all of the above reasons you cite. Added with it are ofcourse the temptation of pursuing the highest degree a person can achieve & the challenge to live through the very terrifying phase that one usually associates with a graduate school experience (atleast speaking in North American terms). Undoubtedly, a degree that is given after countless mental & physical exhaustions (read years of slogging, scooped research, failed experiments, advisor phobia, near social isolation, insecurity, disillusionment & frustration) - that better be worth every sweat of it!
Having interacted with scientists & faculty since the past couple years, some very near their end of career too, everybody agrees almost unanimously that a PhD is not the ball game you wish it were. It is the transition from someone who reads to someone who is being read. Needless to mention that comes with a lot of costs, not something to be given away without having to pay the price for. And not surprising, it presents challenges as well as opportunities
So when in many an unguarded frustrating moment I stop to think - which of my friends is buying a flat or driving a BMW to work and “wtf” I am doing sacrificing my youth, I think of the pleasure that comes with it. The independence of molding my life the way I want to, the only time when people are paying me to learn, of dwelling in the world of the elite, of being a proud nerd in a community that respects being such. Yes,a PhD is not for everybody, it is for only those who brave to achieve it.
To get Piled, Higher & Deeper!!!
PS: I had heard of this phrase Potato Highly Defective from my sister who was then a Physics student at the University of Calcutta in the late 90s. Never heard it ever since but presumably that’s what most Bengalis would refer it to, right? In college ofcourse, this was a derogatory slang for “Alur dosh”.
>>One of the things professors hate is that “generic” mail from prospective PhD candidates which follows the following template “Sir, I am interested in networks and have, ever since I was toilet-trained, wanted to work with you”
err..how about not even figuring out if said professor is sir or madam? that works!
BTW one of my professors used to drive around in some very cool white BMW (at least all the boys said it was very cool, i had no idea), but then he was like 65 years old and had just bought it.
interesting take on the Phd!
@GB,
The whole PhD vs Master’s thing… it kind of comes in with CS and Electronics. When you do biotech/biochem, a PhD is like the lowest qualification permissible. Specially if you want to work here
too good…!!! I am ROTFLing in my office. (Pardon my Engleesh, O Doctor!)
“Gangbangs in New York”… LOL2(square..:))
So what? I think Krish is also a PhD.
@GB
Interesting … Potato Highly Defective equals an Bengali phrase “Aloor Dosh”
–AP
Arnab, I will soon be following your footsteps and getting into a PhD program in CS following my MS. I think the clincher would be if they invite Ms Shetty as the guest of honor for the commencement.
Some real advice on grad student life, please!
Interesting and funny.
But it is fairly clear now that it does not pay to do a PhD in India, at least not in any other stream than pure sciences. Even that has to be done from an IIT or something because others are not considered big deals. As for the Arts and Commerce related subjects. it is just idiotic to aspire for a PhD. The only people who go for a PhD, say, in English, are a) those who want to study , and later teach in colleges for the love of it and do not have any financial problems (read: Dad has lotsa dough), and b) who have accidentally gone and already wasted a few years in that mess and now can’t get out.
No one who has an objective to earn and support a family can afford to complete that thankless degree in India.
Add to that the fact that illiterate morons like Shetty and Lalu Prasad and sundry politicians are granted PhDs everyday - and you know that the degree is sullied beyond salvage.
@Sh: If you are not sure about a PhD, there is another interim, equally useless degree you can try. It’s called an MPhil. That mercifully gets over in 2 years. Of course, it does not guarantee a job either..but that’s neither here nor there…
What about “MBA”?
Will love to read your thoughts on MBA
“Q:Would you like to act in a porn flick?
A: It depends on who will be directing it. I like Martin Scorsese. If he is the one, then I’d go to any extent for him.”
I guess you didn’t see the level of smartness in her reply. As Martin Scorsese doesn’t make any porn flick (she might be well aware of this fact), its a different way of saying that I won’t act in a porn flick
Very nice post with a garnishing of wry humor. Seriously, your strange post has put a lot of people, including me about perusing a PhD. Mona Chopra actually tried to do a post doc before writing her Phd qualifiers. But I am not surprised at all by her remark. After all Scorcese has won the Oscar last year and hence its cool to mention his name out of context!
Also, even if Scorsese ever went back to his cocaine addiction days and in a momentary lapse of reason saw 76’s Jodie Foster (Taxi Driver) as todays Mona (Jodie is lesbi and Mona is quad- straight, lesb, muti ratio bi and maybe animals too); he would probably film her nudity with a solitary long tracking shot where more is obfuscated than revealed. Also, and this is my pet theory- that FF Coppola likes only a particular type of knockers. So Mona can keep her aspirations between her legs. Nobody can do their Postdoc before PHd- the glorious exception being S. Stone in 1991.
Maybe she eavesdropped on him with Coppola in Union Square, where he said inaudibly, a bit like in the famous scene of that great movie “The Conversation”, “She will kill me if I don’t give her the role for my porn flick…Jack Tar hotel…Mona maybe…Mona definitely.”
Kya baat bol diye hain Greatbong jee . Jai mata di . Aapne to pet phad diya
@Shan
The last I heard was that an MPhil is required as a prerequisite for going for a PhD in India. My sister is presently working on her PhD and she had to do an MPhil first and then a PhD. All her friends opting for the PhD had to go through the MPhil first after finishing their Masters. She had the PhD in Geography, which inicidently is an Arts subject in North India. Correct me if I’m wrong.
Furthermore, I tend to disagree in a minor way with you. I understand the general worthlessness of doing a PhD in India, but is it really worthless? There are some govt positions which can be attempted only if you have a PhD, that too from a good college/guide. I mean govt. positions high up in the hierarchy (Finance Commission, Economic growth etc)I agree, that the time spent in doing the PhD may not be worth that effort, but people aspiring for PhDs don’t really care for that. As you pointed out, its the love for the subject/topic and the aspiration to get a coveted position.
What a coincidence GB coming out with an article on PhDs. Was seeing a Flop Show (Jaspal Bhatti) video on youtube on the fate of PhD students. Many of you will remember it.
Interesting to see some full forms for PhD. I add a few to them..
Please Help, desperate
PHinally Done
Passed Having Difficulty
Hillarious! Outrageous!
yes as Ideal Boy has said please opine on MBA especially in India and US of A.
@Mrinal Mukherjee: M Phil is a prerequisite for a PhD in some Indian universities, not in all.I believe that both Delhi University and Kolkata University have done away with it. I guess they’ve realised that those two years, supposedly a practice session for the PhD proper, was quite a waste of time.
Gangbangs in New York- Just too good.
@Sayon
Just had a quick talk with my sis about this. Seems you are right, DU has done away with Mphils. She did it from JNU, delhi. There you got to do the MPhil first. She however commented that at the end of the day, you take the same time to finish the PhD. In other words, the MPhil is taken as a time spent doing the PhD (provided you don’t change your subject/topic).
I stand corrected. Thanks!!
I can understand how it outrages your sense of achievement when filmstars and politicians are handed Doctorate degrees as if they were mangoes from their own backyards. The immense pride and prestige associated with the degree is sheepishly belittled by these acts and no one ever raises a voice of dissent.
Of course its all right to invite Laloo Yadav to Harvard and quiz him on his profit-making policies for the Railways, but awarding him an honorary MBA degree would summarily dwarf the standards of the institute. Good, that they didn’t succumb to such an temptation.
Power to the (real) educated !
awesome dude ..
just when I thought you are getting into the mood of penning a book rite here … u stopped
….
@Mrinal Mukherjee:
I don’t doubt the intrinsic value of higher education or a PhD, just the practical value, especially in the Humanities. However, I agree there are some (read: very few) high paying jobs for Humanities PhDs, but they are almost always in the Social Sciences areas, that too with foreign funded NGOs or organizations. Also remember that there is no guarantee of a job or a stipend while you are completing your PhD, unlike in the States.
I can definitely speak for college lectureships in Maharashtra, having aspired for a PhD at one point in the distant past. I joined MPhil (Pune university requires one) and quickly realized that the jobs available were ALL reserved and that only temp teaching jobs paying Rs100 or so per lecture were available. I decided that there was no future there, quit MPhil. and moved as fast as I could, luckily to the corporate world.
The high posts in the Government you mention are also too few and far between, and almost always “reserved”.
So while I would have loved to complete higher studies, it was just not practical in India to do so.
Back then, the joke in the IIT-Madras Mandakini hostel used to run something like this (on the Bachelor’s, Master’s and Doctorate degrees that desis dreamed of pursuing in the USA):
B.S. = Bull Sh*t
M.S. = More Sh*t
PhD = Permanent Head Damage
For those of us who have been there and done that, can anything be truer than such pithy, wicked acronyms?
- Hujur
Nobody even talks of a PostDoc, there is nothing beyond that.
@ anon : “Nobody even talks of a PostDoc, there is nothing beyond that”.
Actually, there is such a thing in certain European countries. It is called ‘habilitation’, & is the highest academic qualification in those countries.
It has to be earned after a doctorate, & like the doctorate dissertation, requires applicants to complete another dissertation to be scrutinised by an academic committee
In USA, UK & most other English-speaking countries, a doctorate will secure a Uni faculty post. However, for those European countries, only ‘habilitation’ers can supervise doctoral candidates.
In Germany it’s called Privatdozent. In France it’s Habilitation des recherches. It also exists in Austria, Bulgaria, Czech Rep, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary, Poland, Slovakia, Slovenia, Switzerland, & ex-USSR nations.
Arnab, when I look back what really made my degree worth it and equal to the one possessed by the venerable Ms. Shetty and the awe-inspiring samosey-mein-aloo Lalooji is all the free booze and “conference travel” (read - Europe junket) it provided access to.
The highlight of my entire time in graduate school was one evening spent bar hopping with a couple of professors and fellow students after a particularly boring and tedious day at a conference in France. That made academia seem rather interesting as a career choice, but only for a moment.
If I could go back in time will I do it all over again - absolutely! (I’d be more focused though).
@GB: If they gave out PhDs in sarcasm, you would certainly have one. And I for sure, would love to do some research under you, albeit Ekalavya style vis-a-vis Dhrona.
“Yes I firmly believe that when these fat-cat Masters speed by on their Lexuses wearing non-Walmart clothing, thinking of the health of their stock options, and look at me on the street kicking the bumper of my worn-down 94 Honda as I try to get it to start, they feel a sensation of emptiness in the pit of their stomachs, awash with the realization that, paraphrasing from Deewar, “iske paas maa hain”.
Or in other words, a PhD and a level of academic independence.”
Brilliant!! Absolutely wonderful.
I would just like to comment (not that I have anything positive for Mona Chopra) that when she said that name, she meant (may be) that the director is so good that she would work even in a porn flick to work with him.
PhD’s P is associated with being poor always, but Potato Highly Defective acronym PhD is the funniest ever. As for me, I very often envy the primary care physicians in this country. If you ever get to visit a Pediatrician or a OBGYN’s office ( by you I do not mean YOU personally) you will know what I mean. They do very routine jobs and carry hefty paychecks! I do wish I could switch my profession, err no, my paychecks with them.
I thought a Ph.D. was all about knowing more and more about less and less.
Where does it all fit with Ms Shetty?
Then it hit me.
( ) more
)( less
( ) more?
If you are willing to agree with my interpretation, I am sure our very dear Rakhi Sawant should straight away get a Privatdozent degree
“Yes I firmly believe that when these fat-cat Masters speed by on their Lexuses wearing non-Walmart clothing, thinking of the health of their stock options, and look at me on the street kicking the bumper of my worn-down 94 Honda as I try to get it to start, they feel a sensation of emptiness in the pit of their stomachs, awash with the realization that, paraphrasing from Deewar, “iske paas maa hain”.”
So all the master and bachelor students working for Google .. Yahoo ..and all the MBAs working for Goldman and Lehman, when they drive by in their *Lexuses* to their respective Monstrous apartments ..should leave their jobs and get a PhD…
Wonder how many times did
- Bill Gates wanted to go back to school and get a PhD.. or even a Bachelors
- Linus Torvalds while working on his “Master’s Project” decided .. fuck Linux … lemme get a PhD ..
- or how many time did Sergey Brin decided to go back and finish his PhD or
- Larry Page deciding ..fuck Sergey and his search engine ..lemme just get my PhD ..
or countless others who did not get PhD and but now employ them in hordes ..
Not saying PhD is not relevant ..am saying do whatever makes you happy .. I see you are somehow trying to justify your decision to pursue PhD by ridiculing those who did not “Want” to .. I believe more than 99% of Master students dont want to pursue PhD ..coz they dont want to .. and not coz ..they cant.
Desi MS Grad - Are you sure you dont (sic) want or you cant (sic)?
@S.Pyne: Thank you herr Doktor.
@Nanga Fakir: Six months into PhD and you are already Nanga Fakir? Say goodbye to a kidney as you approach thesis defense.
@Naman: Yes that was my point—-doing a PhD does limit your options and your employability. I have no illusions as to the worth of PhDs—trust me.
@Sh: Good !
@Rishi: So what did you do your Masters in?
@Mala:
@Thinkingcap: The “potato highly defective” isnt something I made up it is, as pointed out by Oliveoyl derived from “Aloor dosh” which means men with a roving eye.
@OliveOyl: Hmm..
@KBPM: Good point. I know a few famous rich professors who are giants in their field and yet most MS grads with 2 year experience make more than them.
@Akasuna na Sasori: Yes I understand. My perspective is solely a CS/EE one.
@Nishit:
@Abraham:
@Sriram: He is?
@AP: Yes I know
@Sudipta: Well at least you wont fall asleep.
@Shan: Hmm
@An Ideal Boy: For another day
@Surendra: Very subtle.
@Yourfan2: Postcoc oh sorry postdoc yes
@Greatbong Admirer: Thanks
@Mrinal: Funny have not seen that Jaspal Bhatti…
@TheQuark: Noted.
@Whatisinaname: It gives these universities some good publicity thats all…after all education too needs to be sold if only to finance the real researchers.
@Skp: And people want more !
@Hujur:
@Anon: Well as pointed out, there actually is.
@Thalassa: Oh yes my all-expense one week trek in Switzerland, visits to Copenhagen, Vienna, Barcelona—–but Thalassa I was fortunate as CS theory conferences take place in Europe. I had some friends who got trips to fine cities like Cincinnati, Detroit etc..
@ArSENik: Thanks
@SD: Thanks
@Sourabh: Yeah right.
@Suzi: Marrying poverty like monks.
@Swati: Priceless visual.
@Desi MS Grad works for Facebook and drives BMW:
Maybe somewhere between your hubris at working for Facebook and in driving a BMW, you forgot to read the piece a bit carefully and “get” the sarcasm.
“So all the master and bachelor students working for Google .. Yahoo ..and all the MBAs working for Goldman and Lehman, when they drive by in their *Lexuses* to their respective Monstrous apartments ..should leave their jobs and get a PhD…”
Actually I say the *exact* opposite.
I would have liked to explain to you how genuinely trivial I consider myself even with a PhD certificate in comparison to drivers of BMWs as yourself and that I am under no obligation to justify my career choices on my blog but I am sure you already know that.
GB wrote:
Rishi, So what did you do your Masters in?
@GB
Industrial Design
@Desi MS Grad who drives a Benz and works for orkut.
I have a lot of friends who did/do Phd. It takes a different kind of determination and eye for details, to do a Phd successfully. Many people maybe very successful out in the industry, but may not have what is required to do a Phd.
Somehow this Desi Grad Student who works for a social networking site and drives a BMW reminds me of the famous “Proud Indian Producer” from the Rang De Basanti post both in terms of intelligence and in terms of the “garmi” of supposed wealth. This comment also shows how people like this BMW guy take self-deprecation literally perhaps because they themselves are incapable of it.
Since GB cannot or will not say it, let me point out that GB with his sterling publication record does not need to justify his PhD. More importantly his publications are his legacy to the scientific world, quite unlike your BMW which really means nothing to the rest of us.
GB, great post.
@Desi Grad Student: Wah guru, maan gaye! I vaguely remember a post by GB about Kanti Shah’s brain being part of the Wonders of the World. I want to personally place yours next to his. Either you are really shana and want to create an uproar here by inciting us ‘innocent’ (the quotes are necessary for sarcasm blind souls [soles] such as yourself) commentators, or Bavarian Motors has run out of imported German engine oil for your rusted brain. Something tells me it’s the latter.
My Apologies to all .. that I didnt get the sarcasm… am not a frequent reader here, a friend sent me the link and since he too misread I guess I got a lil influenced by him. .. and I had free time to kill
@Rohan
I never questioned GB’s publication record, my point was PhDs are not a different breed .. they are what ‘Ann Coulter’ wud say ..’Perfected’ MS grads minus the ridiculous pay .. I just hate the fact that some PhD candidates think they are better than Bachelor and Master students .. you just have to goto to my alma matter to look at certain PhD TA’s and Profs to know exactly what I am talking about ..
@Rishi
..
I drive a BMW .. not a Mercedes
GB, Great post. You know mine started with loads of erotic literature, erotic terracota plaques, database of fertility gods, ‘insteresting’ rituals, love charms and then one day they all culminated to this 200 pages….long fertile journeys taken for the right delivery. Or the wrong delivery. Who knows? But when I was declared a PhD for that moment I thought of Gulzar ‘Yeh lamha filhaal ji lene de…’ Will never have BMWs or anything..and as u say, so unimportant and insigificant….
Do, char, che, ath, dus. Bas”
@ Desi MS guy who drives a Jaguar and works for myspace
I thought…Jaguar, BMW and Mercedes Benz are all the same…just like myspace, orkut and facebook
Dont know abt Orkut, but my friend who used to work for Myspace tells me .. its not the same as it was once IAC took over …
Btw, Jaguar is much better than BMW and its too damm pricey
@Desi MS Grad turned Angel: OK man. Sorry, I think that was a little mean on my part then, now that you have offered to hug and kiss and make out, I mean make up with everyone here.
@ Rishi excellent analogy
Btw, Arnab, is this the same car that Bikram, you and I would go shopping to Trader Joe’s in?
Question- Ms..oops ..Dr.Shetty was awarded a doctorate degree in _____? I am thinking physics - the aerodynamics of the jhatka of the butt and the sway of the hips?
Verry funny post!
I just quit my phd coz a company agreed to pay me loads of money
P.S - Dr. GB, I’m a student at UMD, Colllege Park. Hope to see you here sometime
@Desi MS Grad works for Facebook and drives BMW:
You quoted Ann Coulter!
No one who quotes Ann Coulter deserves a PhD really (or deserves being read/listened to), so I guess you are exactly where you deserve to be.
@Desi Grad- Do you see the fallacy in your argument? All those names that you have mentioned are entrepreneurs. Are you one? I am not saying you are not smart or intelligent, but you seem to be so ensconced in your success that you miss the big picture. If technological breakthrough helps business, then business will pay. Say a breakthrough in the field of Abstract Algebra may not help businesses too much. The scientist in question may not get rewarded financially, but will still have the intellectual satisfaction. Yet somebody may want to do a PhD in Abstract Algebra because of his inexhaustible curiosity for the subject. A particular PDE by Black, Scholes and Merton literally changed the financial industry. As opposed to the Algebra phD, the Quant PHd gets rewarded much more. PhDs who can code C and have a good knowledge of options and interest rate theory can get salaries as high as 700k. The reason Wall Street pays that kind of money is because these people make tons of money for them. Similarly, as a very basic explanation, its your skill set and its relative scarcity which makes Face book want to pay you the amount which defines your lifestyle. This was the exact reason why so many developers made lots of hay under the Dot Com sun.
You and most masters graduates are neither entrepreneurs nor innovators. Thats not saying that all PhDs are the same or all entrepreneurs are equally successful. Ultimately it boils down to what makes one happy. Sometimes, an interesting paper can bring you as much happiness as what you get by squeezing the ass of that sexy gold- digging bitch who spreads her legs for you on the bonnet of your BMW under the golden California sunshine. You are a successful person and you have every right to have pride in what you have achieved. You have not taken into consideration the earnings of “intellectual satisfaction”, and I have just given you an example of some kind of PhDs who earn money that Masters grads can only dream of. But an entrepreneur is different. He can be a high school grad, a bachelor, masters, PhD or even beyond. I can give you at least scores of names who are Phd businessmen just like there are thousands of MBA grads who did not achieve anything. Tom Anderson of Myspace didn’t go to B school, he went to film school.
Money can be earned by being a good investor, or through being an established drug baron, or through a 1000 other ways. In any case, you have to bust your ass off. I am not saying that you don’t do that, but you are like the brilliant horse on the race track. Your owner takes pride in you, but you are not the jockey. At the end of the day, you eat only as much as your jockey gives you. Sure you can switch jockeys, but you are not ‘independent’. Do you now see what Arnab was talking about? Don’t misconstrue me- I am all for big businesses and I respect successful businessmen - say like Sam Walton. I just luv Walmart. But when I read in NYT that MS is buying 1.6% of Facebook, I see the photo of Dustin Moskowitz, not Desi Grad who drives BMW.
Maybe you can get some new idea and start your own business. Maybe you will remain happy with you are doing. Maybe someway along the line, you will try to transform from yourself from the horse to the jockey (see Ray- Company Limited).
Lastly, I will ask you to read this brilliant article to fully appreciate Arnab’s viewpoint-
http://monod.biomath.nyu.edu/index/people/dragonslayer.pdf
Do read it.
Hi Boss,
Regular reader, not a critic. Me that is.
Post started with a typical GB aplomb. Brilliant at the Lexus vs Old Honda stage. Dr Shetty was a fantastic idea. Rakhi a bit repetitive - one more film personality in this blog, Rakhi in yet another blog - but still fitted with the general idea, but by the time you reached Mona (?who), I think the chewing gum had been stretched way too far & the blog stopped living upto its expectations raised in the first paragraph!
I don’t belong to the group of theorists who say that the great bong is losing consistency regularly, but I think this is because of the great malady that afflicts all successful people: deadline!
I hope you will not have to beat similar hasty retreats at the end of any more blogs. And let not your ArdentFanMail lull you into complacency
Care
@ swati : “I thought a Ph.D. was all about knowing more and more about less and less”.
No, that’s just growing up !!!
“Where does it all fit with Ms Shetty? Then it hit me.”
( ) more
)( less
( ) more?
It’s actually
Ok. It’s not her knowledge of Milton I crave
.OO. Just right
).( I think its ok. As long as its not [ . ]
x Folically challenged preferred
OO Definitely not more
Appendages are academic. At least for my purpose.
That Sherlyn Chopra interview is obviously a fake. BTW good readable post this.
Pretty cool GB but like the venky dude methinks perhaps the Mona Chopra bit was a bit far out……
Anyways being from Aus, what is it with pHDs in the US, does it help in further job oppurtunities or visa extension etc
One would think an MS would be enough to grab a great job and by the same logic a pHD should make the career prospects even better, enlighten the classy masses
@Desi MS Grad works for Facebook and drives BMW
I was reading all the comments…some with a chuckle and some accompanied with a slight shake of the head. And then came your reply to GD’s comment and I almost fell of my chair. What DESI is his/her right mind would even think of Ann Coulter as a person let alone use it’s quote as a reference.
You not only mistook the tone of GB’s post, but you are plain dumb. Ann Coulter…..of all the things you could have quoted ….*scoff*
ok now i remember. thats why I quit PhD!
Dude,
Now I wonder what possessed me.
Curse you.
How many will second me when I say that
1. As thickheadedness goes GB & Desi MS with his fancy car represent reeeallly the extreme ends of this blog site
2. The masterpieces created by Mr Desi are a very close second to the blog by GB in hilariousness
Care
Prabhu Chawla is Prabhu Bawla.
@GB - Kindly review ‘No Smoking’
First of all, awesome post! I have always been a reader here, and let me tell you that on a gloomy day it brings a chuckle anytime I visit your website:D
Now I feel so relieved that I chose to leave my studies after my Post-bac and went to look for a job. I should show this gem to my mom
She still gripes about my ’stupid’ decision.
@Hara hara bom bom
If other people have enriched cyber-script by inventing emoticons, we can take credit for ushering in the use of alluring descripticons.
Can we patent these?
Hello Arnab-da!!! Gathered the experience of a life-time watching ‘No Smoking’ in a theater. I am sure you will find ” Jaani Dushman” 10 times more enerigisingly entertaining than this mind-sapping crap!!!! If u havn’t seen it already, I implore u not to. And even if u do, I would wait with all eagerness to read your take on it. I have my review posted on my blog. Time -permitting if u cud have a ’say’ on that ‘eulogy’ by yours truly……I would be more than glad.
Regards.
nanga fakir:
“I should’ve read this post six months ago! Probably that would’ve saved me.”
clarification maangta hai! do you mean to say that - had you read this post six months ago - you would not be nanga today or you would not fakir today, or you would be neither today?
- s.b.
i did my phd after anmba - am a bigger fool
“Bangalis” or “Bongs” are the worst hypocrites in this world. Visit the state and you’ll find that a society which allows more than half of it’s people to live and die in utter deprivation and filth will get indignant and shout obscenities if a dog poops anywhere around their “lofty” dwellings. They don’t think before throwing leftover food out on the street “to feed the poor dogs and cats”, but they will spit paan everywhere and pee wherever. You see, man urinating is so much more noble than a dog urinating. They pretend to be intellectual even though they cannot even speak the national language, Hindi. They are inward-looking, opportunistic, petty, pseudo-intellectuals and animal haters. Great Bong finds it strange that puja pandal organizers are sued for violating intellectual property rights but he seems to be completely ignorant that in Calcutta, his beloved hometown, a man who raises several species of birds in his house is sued by his neighbours for, Oh My God!, “excessive noise” and “disturbance of peace”. Ignorance is bliss, they say. Bongs put it into practice, that’s why.
You would have done a great service to your blogging mate and occasional admirer (esp. on the Khairlanji story) Gaurav Sabnis if you wrote this about a year back.
Ihateall bongs “.. I hate all Bongs”.
Hmmm. Quite a forceful tirade. Calm down, dear, it’s only a blog.
I share your frustration with many aspects of Bengal, but not your despondency. Do bear in mind that :
1. During the daytime, the population of Kol exceeds 3 crore. Even if 1 crore of them are outsiders (who support a family base of 4), that means Kol provides livelihood for 2 4 = 6 crore people. One city thus supports the equivalent of the entire population of France.
2. Most of those in deprivation as you claim are not living in ‘real’ deprivation, but squalor. Anyone can come into Kol from any part of India & Bangladesh, bring their horde of broods, live on the streets, set up any venture (sell rotis, fuchka), defecate on the roads, break tubewells for water, pay no tax, and thus make their modest but sufficient living.
These ‘deprived’ people of yours are thus not Bengali, but from outside Bengal. The real ‘deprived’ people are the Bengali “non-Sudra (sic)” middle classes, driven to extreme relative poverty and unable to find decent jobs because of reservation and dirty politics. But they bear their pain with equanimity and get on with life.
3. Kol supports a hinterland of unbelievable poverty : Nepal, Bhutan, Orissa, Bihar, Jharkhand, and Bangladesh. Vast swathes of their poor people throng to Kol to make a living.
4. “but they will spit paan everywhere and pee wherever”
Actually, these are not the Bongs, but more the Biharis & Bangladeshis.
5. “They pretend to be intellectual even though they cannot even speak the national language, Hindi.”
That is why Bongs are intelligent, silly !!
6. Ignorance is bliss,
If so, you must be on cloud nine. How is it up there?
7. “They are inward-looking, opportunistic, petty, pseudo-intellectuals and animal haters. “
Hmm. Sad to say partially true. They weren’t like this always, though. Horrific cleavings & genocides (1947, 1971), mass murder of millions under contrived colonial famines, a continuous mass exodus of many millions in 1930 (Bihar earthquake), 1947 (Hindus from Bangladesh), 1971 (Hindus from Bangladesh), 1947 to 1971 (Muslims from Pakistan), 1971 to 2007 (Muslims from Bangladesh), all have played their part in grinding the state down.
Bongs cannot abdicate their responsibility in this. The ugly Naxal movement, the treacherous communist movement that betrayed nationalists, are at heart as Bengali as a succulent white rasagolla.
But so is Aurobindo, Vivekananda, Ramakrishna, Rabindranath, Shyamaprasad, Bankimchandra, Ashutosh, Vidyasagar, Rashbehari, Bagha Jatin, CR Das and Netaji. Each a giant in his field. Not wishing to sound supercilious, no other state in India can bask in the glory of such a complement of luminaries.
Of course this is the past, and Bongs have failed miserably in the present. As the basic character of Bengali (Hindus) is one based on knowledge, culture and intellect, the future is definitely going to be bright.
Cheer up.
@ i hate all bongs :
The language and tone of your comment reveal clearly the despicable being that you are . You spew out absurd allegations against Bengalis in a manner suggesting a consummate lunatic having gone madder with rage . One cannot help nursing the idea that one of the following might have happened to you :
1) you were defeated in some kind of competition by a Bengali.
2) your romantic aspirations were thoroughly crushed by some Bengali girl , on account of your uncouth and uncultured nature ( as evident from your comment).
Regarding Hindi :
Please understand that Hindi is not the national language - it has got the status of official language. It is a despicable conspiracy by cow-belt-BIMARU-belt-Hindi-chauvinists that has tried to project Hindi as national language. Even then , people from other regions of India have every right to thoroughly reject Hindi.
Regarding Language-proficiency of Bengalis:
There is no reason why bengalis should take special trouble to speak perfect Hindi. Most Bengalis can understand and make themselves understood in Hindi. This is because most Bengalis(specially those in Kolkata) have Hindi-speaking friends( Kolkata having sizeable Hindi-speaking population / Hindi-speaking families residing in Kolkata for generations ).
one should rather try to :
1) Try to master atleast the very basics of all major Indian languages ( tamil/marathi/urdu) etc.
2) Try to learn foreign languages like French/German/Spanish. Bengalis do have a lot of interest in learning at least these three languages.
lol, nice one. Want to hear more about Dr.Rakhi and her histronics.
@ abhirup ganguly : “Regarding Hindi : It is a conspiracy by cow-belt-BIMARU-belt-Hindi-chauvinists to project Hindi as national language. people … have every right to thoroughly reject Hindi”.
Whoooah there, my old chum. We should certainly move the pendulum from ‘I hate all bong’s’ extreme position, but we should not swing it to the other extreme.
For better or for worse, we need one national language, even as a token, to present to the world. It is a symbol of unity. Hindi fits that bill nicely. At least for North India, it occupies the middle ground of the linguistic variations that span its vast geographical expanse.
The current system works nicely for me, & I hope for most Indians as well (South Indian problem duly noted) :
- I can speak, read & write basic Hindi (thanks to Bollywood & not my school) - 1/5.
- I can claim proficiency in my native Bengali - 5/5
- I am reasonable in English - 4/5
- I possess a smattering of German - 1/5
Why would I need to learn even the basic words of Marathi or Tamil, unless I would like to delve in to those cultures in more depth?
It is thanks to Hindi that we can appreciate the unparalelled mellifluousness of Kishore, Lata, Mukesh & Rafi.
I for one am for maintaining (note not strengthening at the expense of other languages) the nominated and token paramountcy of Hindi.
abhirup ganguly:
Your language and tone epitomises the utter madness of a Bong who hits the roof in defensiveness at any comment against them or Saurav Ganguly. I congratulate Hara hara bom bom for having replyed to my allegations in a sane manner rather than become rabid like you. Probably you are a big follower of Mamata Banerjee who specialises in these kind of histrionics instead of rationality. Let me clarify to you:
1) I have beaten a lot of Bongs in all competitions I have participated.
2)I never even thought of courting a Bong.
As for your excuse for not a language that has been given the status of being the common currency(however unworthy YOU might consider it to be! In the last sixty years or so, no one has corrected that mistake), is foolhardy. It is a thinking typical of a frog in the pond. Calcutta boasts of being a metropolitan city. Go to the other metros, including Ahmedabad, Pune, Bangalore or Kochi and you WILL find people able to understand and speak basic Hindi. But that does not happen in Kol. Not everyone in this world is a Bengali and if you belong to the school of thought that non-Bongs should not come to Kolkata, then please continue with this line of thinking.
For those who drop names like Aurobindo, Vivekananda, Ramakrishna, Rabindranath, Shyamaprasad, Bankimchandra, Ashutosh, Vidyasagar, Rashbehari, Bagha Jatin, CR Das and Netaji at the drop of a hat, you need to step out of the past and live in the present. Cal is a grand old city, but just take a short trip around and what do you find….it is decaon the outside but inside too. A bong does not trust a Marwadi. A bong does not trust a Muslim. Marawadi doesnot trust a Bong. and muslims don’t trust either one.
Oh and before I forget, Dear Mr. Abhirup GAnguly, you REALLY need to get a job. I mean, to actually take the time out to reply to someone’s rant, whom you most definitely consider below you, considering you are unnecessarily burdened with the knowledge of big english words, which you you cannot coherently put together…..what a waste of time!! Obviously you are one of those people who use office computers to do all this. As for me, I am jobless. I’m a housewife.
So, you see, I proved you wrong on both your charges.
You choose to single out one sentence in the whole paragraph and blabber incoherent nonsense, but you miss the others. Why didn’t you get so worked up on the charge of “animal-haters”. Or may be you think that’s not true, because fish is an animal too!! Isn’t it?
“strange that puja pandal organizers are sued for violating intellectual property rights but he seems to be completely ignorant that in Calcutta, his beloved hometown, a man who raises several species of birds in his house is sued by his neighbours for, Oh My God!, “excessive noise” and “disturbance of peace”. Ignorance is bliss, they say.” I’m not the one who’s being ignorant here. I don’t rail about the preposterousness of one and stay ignorant of the other in my backyard. It’s time to check the incongruity in thinking. Huh?, gentlemen?
@ Hara hara bom bom
” but we should not swing it to the other extreme….For better or for worse, we need one national language, even as a token, to present to the world. It is a symbol of unity.”
I absolutely fail to see how my position can be labelled as an extreme one. I have proposed equal importance of all regional languages . Extremism/fundamentalism is a way of thinking/doing that tries to force one idea over others without providing any proper grounds - hence the idea to let Hindi have a superior status compared to Marathi/Tamil/Bengali/Urdu is a form of mild extremism.
WE ABSOLUTELY DO NOT NEED ONE NATIONAL LANGUAGE.
India’s identity should be based on harmonious diversity and there is absolutely no need to have banal tokens like national languages when so many equally powerful/important/developed languages are there. If one wants to select one language it will offcourse have to be forced over others. We do not have a need to have a single national language like the German/french etc. people. We can stay completely different.
SHOULD HINDI BE THE NATIONAL OFFICIAL LANGUAGE ?
Thanks to powers-that-be-Hindi-fundamentalists Hindi is now the national official language. However , a official language should be chosen only based on practical reasons. Various practical reasons suggest english should be the official language.
1) For many Indians Hindi is effectively as foreign as english.to master writing skill reqd. for official work one has to undergo as much effort to learn english as Hindi
2) If english becomes official language many Indians would automatically have a better grasp over English - which is the Global Lingua franca practically - this has practical benefits.
LEARNING OTHER INDIAN LANGUAGES:
this proposal is consistent with my view that India’s identity should be that of harmonious diversity. I dont say it is possible to get even a smattering of all major indian Languages. I mean to say one must have this mindset that as an Indian one has a kind of moral duty to try , if possible , to get an idea of major Indian Languages. Also, there has to be easy ways of doing this. The Maharashtra tourism board , for example has a Marathi tutorial at their website.
GERMAN:
glad to know of a German language aspirant. Me too currently struggling through its tricky grammar.:-)
@ ihate…
The rabid outburst in the first part of my comment is totally justified considering the way you started abusing Bengalis. For, I am a firm believer in giving one his due. Your comment did not suggest a sane personality who would listen to reason . Though you sound saner in this second comment yet comments like ‘A bong does not trust …. muslims don’t trust either one.’ , which are totally devoid of any supporting reason and are said for the purpose of sheer abuse clearly show that the way of replying that I used in the first part of my comment is what you mostly deserve.
‘who hits the roof in defensiveness at any comment against them or Saurav Ganguly’
Well, I thought every normal self-respecting person would defend oneself against absurd allegations. Although , now I begin to have a doubt whether one should take any notice of the lunacy-laden comments of a consummate cerebrally-bankrupt.
‘Calcutta boasts of being a metropolitan city. Go to the other metros, including Ahmedabad, Pune, Bangalore or Kochi and you WILL find people able to understand and speak basic Hindi.’
who has ever heard such a preposterous idea that the sign of a metropolitan city should be that people will be able to understand a north-Indian regional language ?
‘belong to the school of thought that non-Bongs should not come to Kolkata,’
As I have earlier said that Bengalis do know hindi because they mingle with a lot of hindi-speaking people. This clearly shows that I am rather proud of the way Bengalis welcome everybody .
@ I hate ….
I am a student . I use my PC for commenting.
I fail to see where have I used difficult english words that are usually considered aracane.
Posting comment with reference to and by quoting sentences from original blog post/another’s comment is a long standing practice in GB’s blog.
@abhirup ganguly
Finally someone who shares my view. I dont know whether its a conspiracy but it still rankles me that most people think that it is a sin to not know hindi.
@hara hara…
I disagree with your view point . Token symbolism is not going to work.
@ I hate bongs “For those who drop names like Aurobindo… at the drop of a hat, you need to step out of the past and live in the present”
Alas, what can I do? It is because the list of present names is blank that I resort to personages past at auto-response.
The name list of 2015 will be more encouraging. The natural talent of any Bong (any Indian for that matter) is to ascend. A host of reasons (historical, social, external, internal etc) have held us all back. Time is allowing us to realize our goals.
“Cal is a grand old city, but it is decaying on outside & inside “.
Pranayama cures the innards & the outtards.
Don’t be too despondent. Kol looks the way it does as it single-handedly supports the population base of France. It can improve. It will improve.
Besides, there is a growing number of nice places. Salt Lake (esp Sector V), Rajarhat, Bhowanipore.
“A bong does not trust Marwadi. Marawadi doesnot trust a Bong”
Alas, this is painfully obvious. There is too much distrust and disunity among us Indians. This was more pronounced in the previous generation, when the race for scarce resources was restricted to Indian bounty. With a wider horizon at our disposal (new economy, globalization), I hope crass competition will develop into healthy competition among us.
From personal experience I can say that inter-state marriages are rising, slowly but surely. I don’t know if this is true at a national level, but if it is, it will help promote a pan-Indian identity.
“A bong does not trust a Muslim…”
Thank God. No one should.
Actually, Bongs do :-(. Time after time after time. And suffer for it.
“(Abhirup), obviously you are one of those people who use office computers to do all this”.
Actually, you are describing not Abhirup, but me in that description. At office, and now home PC too. My poor wife is getting more and more exasperated at this !!
@ Abhirup “I absolutely fail to see how my position can be labelled as an extreme one. I have proposed equal importance of all regional languages”.
I basically mean :-
(a) the baby (Hindi) has been nominated as the token darling of the house for 60 years (its a somewhat aged baby)
(b) one extreme is making the baby (Hindi) rise to rule the household.
© The other position is kicking the baby off the gaddi it held for the last 60 years forthwith.
This is what I mean by extreme. Forcing Hindi off the billboard.
“We absolutely do not need one language. India’s identity should be based on harmonious diversity”
I think Hindi does contribute to gluing the country together. Also, Bollywood exerts a powerful influence over Indian masses. Let Hindi stay as the national language; it is a largely ceremonial post anyway.
“There is absolutely no need … when so many equally powerful/important/developed languages are there.”
Actually it is because there are so many powerful regional languages, that we need a weak language like Hindi to be the flagship. It is so feeble, that it cannot ever threaten to erode the hegemony of rich regional dialects.
“We do not have a need to have a single national language like the German/french etc. people. We can stay completely different”.
It does contribute to external perceptions of our identity. Harmony in diversity is all very good, but there must be certain areas (national security, economic policy, internal law and order, f