Darth Vadra

36 Comments

[Caption: Robert Vadra is so shocked that DLF has given him yet another multi-crore interest free loan that he faints] (from NDTV)

Occam’s Razor, while not shaving Anil Kapoor’s chest, has something really simple to say, namely that if we have multiple explanations for an event, the one that makes the fewest outrageous assumptions is usually true.

Following that principle, one would say that the simplest way to explain the DLF Maximums handed out to Robert Vadra would be that these were tributes to the royal son-in-law, the modern-day equivalent of golden swords and diamond-encrusted elephants.

However every cat that has been lapping away at the milk-filled saucer of government or hopes to have come out to tell us, while not falling over themselves in obscene ardor, that Robert’s amazing success (his personal corporate assets grew from a modest Amrita Rao-ian Rs 50 lakh in 2007 to a Silk Smithian Rs 300 crore [Link]) has nothing do with his being the royal consort.

And I believe them just as I believe in zero loss scams, “90% of rapes are consensual” (link) statements and the other assorted fairy tales they like to tell us at bed-time.

I believe them because if I don’t, I suppose I will be contributing to the “mindless atmosphere of negativity and pessimism” (link) which is Congress-speak for “Leave Robert Vadra alone”.

Most importantly, I believe them because Karan Thapar wants us to believe in them. And I love Karan Thapar for nothing more than that “I can see through you cause I am so smart” stare that he gives those he interviews, which reminds me somewhat of Jackie Shroff’s intellectual gaze at Monisha Koirala’s thighs during the “O Yaara Dil Lagana” song from Agneesakshi, and also for his charming bow tie, which brings to mind memories of liveried waiters bending forward officiously with extended tongs that hold an over-fried, oily chunk of what was once aquatic life and say “Chilli fish sir?”

Keen readers will realize that I am referring to Karan Thapar’s recent “Devil’s Advocate” show, one in which Mr. Thapar crosses the line from “advocate” to “hyperventilating fan-boy” as he lets loose the hounds of Hell on Arvind Kejriwal, spinning a delightful web of logic. On one hand, he repeats Salman Khursheed’s accusation of “blackmail” while at the same time blasting Kejriwal for not privately approaching Robert (which is what blackmailers do) and instead going public (which blackmailers do not do). Brilliant chap is he not this Karan Thapar? Then he points out, in a further gotcha, that Kejriwal has said nothing new, merely repeating what has already been published, thus making Kejriwal into the world’s most idiotic blackmailer who tries to blackmail his mark by threatening to reveal something that is already in the public domain.

I will be honest. I do not want to be subjected to such blinding assaults of white-hot logic from someone wearing a bow-tie.

So how can I explain what’s happened?

How can I explain why DLF, supposedly in the real-estate business, buys land from Robert at 50 crores, the same land that Robert spent 13.8 crores to acquire? [Link]

So what does this mean in simple English? It means that Vadra?s Sky Light Hospitality approached DLF to sell the 3.5 acres of land it had bought at Rs 15.38 crore. DLF valued this land at Rs 58 crore and gave Vadra?s Sky Light an advance of Rs 50 crore against this land. The point that arises here is this. Sky Light Hospitality bought the land between 1 April 2008 and 31 March 2009 for Rs 15.38 crore. They also approached DLF during the same period to sell the land. DLF in turn valued the land at Rs 58 crore.

How can I explain why a bank gives overdrafts of 7.94 crores to a company with issued capital of Rs 1 lac?

How can I explain that DLF that pays 12.38% interest on its debts gives the great man interest-free loans (in the guise of advances that are left lying about for years, like old copies of Tintin loaned out to a friend)?

The only explanation that I come up with and which I am sure will protect me from retribution is that Robert Vadra actually has mastery of Jedi/Sith mind-control abilities which allow him to manipulate weak individuals.

That is he goes in front of the big bosses at DLF’, waves his hands slightly, “I am a body builder. Look how I have developed my biceps” and they automatically believe, due to the Jedi mind manipulation trick, that Robert Vadra is an ace property developer and infrastructure builder. They then stutter and say “Yes…yes we want to buy property from you at the price you declare.” He does the same in front of the bank bigwigs and they say “Yes, we want to give you interest-free loans.” after which Vadra blinks and they forget such a thing ever happened (link), their weak minds wiped clean. That is why even after some of the fantastic facts came out many months ago, the BJP and other opposition have chosen to remain silent, stuck as their tongues have become by ancient Jedi spells.

That also explains why Robert Vadra is the only private individual other than the Dalai Lama exempt from airport searches. A Jedi/Sith cannot be expected to part with his lightsaber or even allow those not initiated to touch it.

Yes I see it all now. He the master. All politicians of the Congress his apprentices. And the Thapar’s bow-tie an adaptation of the little “choti” that a Padawan learner must keep.

Rise Darth Vadra. Your time is now.

 

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36 thoughts on “Darth Vadra

  1. O~some !! loved “namely that if we have multiple explanations for an event, the one that makes the fewest outrageous assumptions is usually true.”

    “One one hand” ->On one hand

    Brilliant chap is he not”,” this Karan Thapar?

    Yes I see it all now. He the master. -> Yes, I see it all now. He is the master.

  2. C’mon are we going to discuss these miniscule 300 crore scams now?..

    On another note, while the subject of the discussion is an individual from a family which does not have an unblemished record….it is more important to focus on the corporate group which indulged in the shady activities…a public company at that. The company should be made an example of. (hefty penalties 10x of the scam) so that no other company can even think of doing the same…whatever be the carrot a darth vadra has to offer…

  3. A mango man like us.. who is working hard.. and when he makes profit, we cry foul. No wonder he thinks “our’s* is a banana republic.

  4. This is exactly how YSR and his son Jagan shaved Andhra Pradesh. But what Vadra managed is like a simple tropical storm when compared to Cat-5 hurricane YSR and Jagan unleashed on AP.

  5. Kejriwal has targeted most powerful person’s most vulnerable spot.
    Congress is seething with anger not seen in ages.
    It will be interpreted as personal attack and replied in same manner.

  6. Dear Great Bong,

    I have been a secret reader of your blogs (having not left any comments so far) I have a suggestion, I think its time, you include Mr Vadra picture among the other distinguished people whose shots appear at the top of your blog. He has done enough to deserve it :-)

    Cheers

  7. Just wait and see.
    Kejriwal will win 2 urban seats in the next Lok sabha elections, and will support a “secular” Congress government along with the Left and the “secular” regional parties, with Rahul baba as the Prime Minister leading the next billion dollar heist.

    Congress knows that well. It is fine with these agitations as long as Sonia, Rahul and Priyanka dont get exposed. Manmohan and some small chatta batta leaders will be sacrificed with fat retirement deals before the next elections.

    All to keep that communal Narendra Modi and BJP out.

  8. My point is ONLY 300 CRORES are you fucking kidding me!!! You marry into India’s royalty and all you can manage is 300 crores?? Even Madhu Koda made more in few months.

  9. The RE deal between DLF and Raabert reminds of when Amitabh went to meet Sanjeev Kapoor with his first deal in Trishul :)

    Very different..but somehow kindled the memory :)

  10. Sith mind control is also the best possible explanation I can think of of how Priyanka Gandhi became Mrs. Vadra.

    A simple look a photo of the couple is sufficient proof.

  11. @devil’s advocate

    From the link you provided
    (http://www.hindustantimes.com/News-Feed/KaranThapar/Advocating-my-case/Article1-944275.aspx)

    ““Well,” I said, unable to think of a better reply, “that’s just bad luck.”

    “For whom?” But now Pertie was smiling, perhaps a bit too gleefully for my taste. “You or them?”

    The grin on his face suggested he knew the answer!”

    Pertie’s grin suggested he knew the answer. But what is the answer. I still did not get it. Whose bad luck is it ours or Thapar’s ? What do you people think might be the answer ?

  12. Ameya, what this means is that while being a devil’s advocate, sometime the meaning is lost on the audience. Then, it is the bad luck of Thapar, since he is the one who faces the ire of the audience. Just to clarify, in this case it is Pertie.. whose sarcasm/anger is what Thapar is facing.

  13. Gopi Kishan- an eminently forgettable flick from the ’90s- had a kid telling Suneil Shetty the following unforgettable line -”Mere do do baap!”.

    Occam’s Razor would dictate that this be accepted as a the possible reason for the overflowing love and gratitude that gets directed Vadra’s way.

  14. Haha ‘DLF Maximums’ … was funny !

    Come on now, you expect Vadra or DLF to be punished for this pocket change 300 crore? I can imagine Robert exclaiming in the style of FATKA from Sarfarosh – “Saala itna toh apna rojka daaru ka kharcha hai !”

    GRAMMAR RANT -

    Btw GB, if you really intended to – ["He the master" is what I meant. Note the similarity in structure with the next sentence.]
    Then you’ve still made punctuation mistakes. Boley toh, commas missing honeka re! Neechoo dekh maine theek sey diya hai (thankyo nako) -

    He , the master. All politicians of the Congress , his apprentices.

  15. Abey Dhakkan kay. Zyada Grammar nazi banne ka nahi. Chapchup blogpost padhne ka. Greatbong English Grammar test nahi de raha hai. Ab chal satak yahaan se.

  16. Abey nintookley pintookley … nizaam ke andey.. merkoo bolta hai satakney ko? merkoo?

    Grammar Nazi koi banntaa nahi… apne aap hota hai – samjega nahi tu dheelay dhakkan. GB test nahi dey rahelaay toh kya hua, suggestion leke correction toh kartay woh.

  17. Aur sun bey nalayak, itni khujli hai toh jaake teacher ban jaa. Agar teacher nahi toh chaprasi ka job toh mil hi jayega kisi municipality school mein. Jobless toh nahin rahega.

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