Salman Khan's Code of Honor and Other Ruminations

Salman Khan Interacting with a Woman

Didi Tera Devar Deewana,
Hai Ram, Kudiyon Ko Daale Daana,
Dhandha Hai Yeh Uska Puraana,
Hai Ram, Kudiyon Ko Daale Daana.

Salman Khan is a very simple man. His outlook on life is governed by this pseudo- code.

void Salman_Khan_Interacts_With_Living_Beings (Livingbeing l)

{ Take_off_shirt();

if ((l.type==endangered_species) OR (l.type==pavement_dweller))

then kill(l);

if (l.type== mafia don) then grovel_like_an_eunuch_and_offer_to_be_pimp_for(l);

if (( = female) AND (l.desirable_to_SALMAN==true) AND (l.attracted_to_SALMAN_now==true) )

then hump( l) ;

if (( = female) AND (l.desirable_to_SALMAN==true) AND ( l.attracted_to_SALMAN_now==false) AND (l.attracted_to_SALMAN_before==true))

then { threaten_and_abuse(l) ; beat_up(l);}


Documentation available here.


Just a few points for clarification. First this.

Salman: Madam ko phone dena

Ash: Hello? Bolo baba

SK: I am not your baba

Ash: What is wrong now?

SK: Your baba could be dad. Anybody. It could be anybody from Nikki to Farukh, Shah Rukh to Abhishek to anybody.

Now this.

SK: Somy aao beta. Tum ne phone off kiya, aur tum bolti ho ki mujhe yeh karna
hai, woh karna hai

Salman Khan does not want to be Ash’s daddy and yet addresses his other girl friend Somy Ali as beta………

Is this guy drunk?

Oh yeah right he is.


A very very interesting bit of news.

Salman Khan (who has made a special appearance in the video) and Shiv Sena leader Raj Thackeray jointly released the remix album Aplam Chaplam in Mumbai on July 2. The album is sung by Shweta Pandit, except for ‘Mera naam Chin Chin Chu…’ sung by Mitali Chaudhary. The album has been produced by T.K.Chaudhary and the co-producer is Kishore Kumar. Jackie Shroff, Bharat Shah and composer Shravan were also present.

Look at the people Salman is in bed with. No I am not talking about Sangeeta Bijlani,Somy Ali, Aishwarya Rai, Katrina Kaif, Preity Zinta(??)…….I am talking about the cozy company listed above. Raj Thackeray—Hindu don and leader of the same people who are now tearing down Salman posters, Bharat Shah—supposedly a front man for the Dubai mafia (and Thackeray’s “sworn” enemy) and Shravan (one half of the still functional Nadeem-Shravan pair….the other half having been involved in the mafia hit on music baron Gulshan Kumar)

I know this release was before the expose and so one can argue that now that people know who Salman really is things are not to be the same anymore.

Don’t be naive. Everybody knows who everybody else is around here. We all knew Salman was like this even before the expose (killing a Black Buck and a man on the street are pretty big offenses). And we still used to watch his movies. Like we all know that Sanju baba, Mahesh Manjrekar et all are mafia stooges who grovel before calls from Dubai—–remember there was a lot of hue and cry after that expose too but what happened in the end? Nothing. Sanjay Dutt even tried to take the place of his deceased father as a Congress MP.

The same thing will happen to the Salman Khan fracas. A lot of hue and cry will take place, some posters will be torn down, Salman will go and touch the Balasaheb’s feet, coy smiles will be exchanged, Salman will make a few gratis appearances for the Smitha Thackeray foundation, “Maine Pyar Kyon Kia” will benefit from this publicity and rake in profits, HT execs will pat themselves on the backs for a successful Mumbai launch, Katrina Kaif will be slapped around and dumped for the next pretty young thing and all will be well with the world.

20 thoughts on “Salman Khan's Code of Honor and Other Ruminations

  1. I guess as long as the main population of india keep glorifying film stars more for their riches and glamour, instead of their real acting abilities… people like Salman Khan are always going to get off the lid sooner or later. For you have to remember that “there is no business like show business” and that is exactly what it comes to in the end.. just another bloody business!

  2. Someone pls explain, why is Ash referring to salman with his fullname ‘Salman Khan’ everytime in the conversation?

  3. Suhail, Exactly ! I thought of making that point in this post too….but I forgot about it…what was that all about Suhail Kazi?


  4. totally true….but somewhere deep down I hope this scumbag goes down.

    Ash might have been referring to Sallu as Salman Khan just to be cold and distant. Girls sometimes do that ………..

    (My wife does that to me (call me Sunil Laxman, not Salman Khan, incase you were confused) when she’s pissed off with me)

  5. how lucky can one be , slepin around with awesome b1tches , fame , money, looks if anything he misses in a perfect life is some hair , and he messes it all up. The funniest part of this was how ash was called into a 5star hotel room by the top 3 mumbai police officers & told not to have a relationshipwith salmon khan.

  6. Hello Arnab,

    THis comment is regarding ur previous “Immature Confessions ” post”. I read your blog daily( that is whevever I start surfing)… had been a little busy … but have caught up on ur post since then!

  7. excellent stuff dude,

    Loved the pseudo code on Salman,and had fun with the thought exchange on actresses on “sale” like Ms.Zinta and ofcourse the abusive ones like Ms.Mukherjee.Will admit the info on Rani was disconcerting …It was miles away from the impression I had of her.Still,I will stick to my opinion of her as a good actor.

    Feel enlightened about the “great”Mr K. Could never figure out why women swoon over him.I for one could never stand him .Heard one of the tapes where he seemed D-r-u-n-k ,on a rant and making no sense what so ever .

    Incidentally hes the not the only actor connected with the underworld.So,whats the fuss all about !!!

  8. Which brings me to a fundamental axiom for appreciating the “Arts”—do not let your knowledge of the personal life of an artist cloud your assessment of him/her in a professional context. Which in turn leads me to believe we should just enjoy an artists’ performances and not peer too much into what kind of human beings these people really are.

  9. Awesome! The whole floor at my office is laughing 🙂

  10. nice post, for a mediocre country which forgets and forgives in a blink of an eye, so treu this is

  11. Damn, and Katrina is sooo hot too

  12. Anon_Hyderabad March 1, 2006 — 6:19 am

    I hope you’ve patented that pseudo code greatbong. It’s zillion dollar material i tell you. (Rolling on the floor @ office….my team lead staring at me).

  13. well, me being salman khans fan i fink dat wat u sed is bias one sided y dnt u ask sum1 hu knows more bout salman khan in a diff way eh? dat mite work ? but neways if u dnt like him den der is no point givn him so much attention by writing things bout him eh? its jst a point dnt get me rong i totally respect ur view but nxt tym get both syds of the story not jst 1…but ill stil like him n sowill oda people as he has dun good forthe indian society eh? think bout it ?

    peace out im off tke care

  14. “…but ill stil like him n sowill oda people as he has dun good forthe indian society eh?”

    Kitne pavitra vichaar! Amol Palekar’s Pitashree said in ‘Golmaal’…”Kurta ka upyog shareer ke uparardh ki lajja nivaran ke liye hai” etc., and advised him to wear short kurtas so that it leaves cloth for the poor masses of India. Salman’s pitashree seems to have felt that “lajja nivaran” was unnecessary for the “upararardh”.
    Which leaves us with more shirts for the indian society eh? think bout it ?

  15. From Mumbai Mirror

    Salman’s dream house on at last
    According to sources, Salman has, over the last few years, bought off all flats in Starlet, a three-storey building on Carter Road where property prices are currently in the range of Rs 15,000 to Rs 20,000 per square foot. The building is now being razed to make way for the bungalow that will reportedly include a state-of-the-art gym, a swimming pool, sports facilities and plenty of greenery. Sources close to Salman said he had always wanted to build a bungalow on Carter Road and decided to buy off flats in Starlet as he thought the sea-facing plot would be ideal for his dream home.
    “We had bought each flat for Rs 75,000 in 1969. We didn’t want to shift because there was sentimental value attached to the place. Now the building is being razed. For Salman Khan the place will soon be a dream house, but for me, it is a dream shattered,” Kalim said.

    However, sources close to Salman said he and his father have been “fair to the flat-owners and given them the prices they had asked for.”

  16. is this website made to humiliate salman khan! then congrats u have done it. i jus wonder when he step on ur tail.

  17. @Neha: Let me assure you that this website has not been made to humiliate Salman Khan. I wait with great fear for the day he steps on my tail or runs over me with his car. But again, there is no intention to humiliate this great and noble man.

    Well perhaps a little…..if that indeed is possible.

  18. hi
    salman khan
    how are you ?dost.
    i’m fine.
    i haat ash
    i’m your big fant.
    en i wihl your
    aker aapko eetraas nahi to.
    have nice day
    bye bye

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