Dr Sayani Saves The World

6 Comments

“When I find myself in times of trouble
Dr Sayani comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be.”

If you ever need to go to a medical website, then Dr Sayani’s supersite is IT.

With a very simple motto ” Man Attempts God Heals” (the subtext being that Dr Sayani is God) , Dr Sayani can cure anything with his deadly combination of faith and homeopathy.

As He says———

Surgery in many cases can be avoided by Homoeopathic treatment.

For example breast cancer, also cancer of other organs, cataract, coronary artery blockage (in general terminology known as open heart surgery), defective cardiac valves, fistula, haemorrhoids (piles) over growth of cartilage, bones and mucous membranes for example of nose causing breathing problem, renal calculi (kidney stones), stones in the gall bladder, tumours etc… . In short please contact with complete case history and medical reports before deciding to pass through painful process of surgery.

Not limited to surgical cases only, but homoeopathy is a complete medical science which cures every disease even of complicated nature such as……

Aids, anxiety, abortions (habitual), arthiritis, asthama (simple & cardiac) depression, disorders of menses, pains & problems at manopause, leucorrhoea, lunacy, epilepsy, falling of hairs, gonorrhoea, gout, hemicrania, hydrocephalus, infertility in both sexes, impotence & allied problems due to excessive indulgence in sexual acts, sexual mania in both sexes, syphilis, marasmus, otorrhoea, ovaritis, paralysis, poliomyelitis, tuberculosis, excessive secretion of milk at child birth, pains & problems at dentition in children, imperfect development of breast in female and testicles in male etc.

Yes Dr Sayani has it—-the cure for AIDs. Not to speak of cancer. And haemorrhoids.

He also has coined a new term “manopause” or that phase in a woman’s life when the arrival of the man pauses (the singular “man” makes more sense to use than the plural “men” because , according to Dr Sayani, at that stage the lady is not getting any).

He has also made the novel connection between excessive indulgence in sexual acts and impotence. He has also settled the conflict between pro-life and pro-choice by identifying abortion as a disease which needs to be cured. Silicon implants —out. Homeopathy–in.

And then kindly note the unique diagnosis methods of Dr Sayani.

Narrate every symptom in detail, for example if you have pain in any part of the body, mention whether it goes from above downwards, or comes from below upwards or it begins in centre and extends to circumference or it remains only at one place or it shifts from one place to another and in which condition and weather it increases and decreases.

Also please mention structure of your body whether it is slim, fat or normal etc…also mention your age, maritial status, number of children, your likings and dislikings regarding food, weather etc…

The reason, dear reader, why you are still afflicted by sexual mania/loss of hairs etc etc is because your doctor never asked you about what weather you liked —-did he/she?

And all these miracles for the bargain price of $25 consultation fee and $25 for a month of medicine. Now you understand how the unethical drug corporations have been ripping you off for so many years.

Now I can just see the disbelievers among you shaking your heads……looking at the list and grinning self contentedly. Why, you say, Dr Sayani does not have a cure for everything—-what about bloodsucker head lice and pimples ? Surely if AIDS and cancer can be cured, why not these two?

Well yes sirreee Bob, they can.

“Lice Cure” 100% harmless preparation for annoying blood sucker head lice.
Trade enquiries welcome for this preparation.

“ACNE & PIMPLES CURE” to get rid of ugly looking Pimples & Acne on the face. Trade inquires welcome for this preperation too.

So there you have it fellows—-all diseases of the world GONE for a meager $25 a month.

Move over WebMD. Move over HMOs

Dr Sayani is in da house.

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6 thoughts on “Dr Sayani Saves The World

  1. how in the hell do ya land up at a pakistani homeopaths site 😛
    problems due to over indulgence in sex , hmmm

    anon

  2. Dear Anon,

    Well it’s a relief to know that you have not accused me of landing up on this site by searching for heamorrhoids or for hair loss…..and between ourselves, whoever yourself maybe, “overindulgence in sex” is one malaise I can live with……happily.

  3. Yes! Yes! Where was this guy when I was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma? Oh great Dr Sayani, with your interesting spellings and wonderful bedside manner, please to do the needful and oblige!!!!!!

  4. “imperfect development of breast in female and testicles in male”

    Point to be noted GB, Dr Sayani cannot treat imperfect development of breast in males and testicles in females.

  5. Thank God the office is almost empty this afternoon… or surely people would have looked around for the source of uncontrollable laughter in the room. Oh, where do you find all this stuff? I’m laughing so hard that I’ve tears in my eyes…

  6. Pingback: Itch Dr

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