The Indibloggies, the Indian blog oscars or should I say Manikchand Gutkha Filmfare Awards are here. “Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind” has snagged a nomination in the Indiblog of the year category. Yes I am shamelessly canvassing for votes. After all, an aspiring politician has to start somewhere. So here is the link:
http://poll.indibloggies.org/index.php?sid=1 [Update: The poll has closed and hence the link is no longer valid]
You don’t need to have a blog site to vote. Leave the field blank if you do not have a blog.
Again the name of the blog is “Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind“. It is nominated in the first category (Indiblog of the year 2005) .
Deadline for voting: Jan 10, 2005. [Update: Okay this should be 2006 but after turning thirty, I have been in a state of denial with respect to the passage of time. I hope that explains this slip.]
Even if you do not vote for my blog, do cast your vote for some of the other excellent blogs nominated.
Okay that was too politically correct. Just vote for me in my category.
If I win, I shall dig two tubewells in your area, guarantee jobs for your family for all eternity, find out who killed Divya Bharati and join hands with Raj Singh Dungarpur in denouncing Sourav Ganguly.
I have often wondered as to the Oscar acceptance speeches of those who lose —the ones we never hear, the ones that stay in the pocket and are torn apart in the post-Oscar party in the restoom between sniffs of white powder and tears. So here in this post, I present to you my “winning acceptance speech” for the Indibloggies—-the one which you shall never hear. Or would not have heard.
(Looking upwards at the heavens and holding back rehearsed tears) Thank you Big G. I love you. And Mum, the most important person in my life. And dad —you have been always there for me. My beautiful wife. My agent, my manager, my makeup man, my kindergarten teacher—you all know who you are. And of course my readers—the ones who voted for me...(blowing kisses)
My theme song—“Ek Do Teen Char Pyar Chahiye Kitni Baar” from Waqt Ki Awaaz plays and I know my time is over.
What I find even more intriguing is the post-Oscar bitching that goes on in the post-party where questions are asked “off record” and the ones who lost, lose the hypocritical grin and the polite claps, and let loose the fire of their angst.
Reporter: GB, How does it feel to have not won the best Indian blogger of the year?
GB (adjusting my bowtie): Dahling, read my lips. I don’t care. I mean who cares for awards anyways? The fact is that my readers love me—I get 600-1000 a visitors day—that’s love for you dahling. Day in day out. What’s one award here or there? And remember this is a popular award —-Anil Kapoor used to buy all the editions of Filmfare and win Best Actor in the 80s. And SRK won best actor for “Veer Zara”–need I say more?
Reporter: But GB you campaigned for the award remember?
GB: I did not. I was merely popularizing the blogosphere by asking people to look at the blogs that had been nominated. I do have a duty to my community. Of course I did not canvass….silly boy.
Reporter: Well you took in just a few votes. Where did your readers vanish during the polling days?
GB(angrily): Okay you impertinent lout. Listen to me once and for all. There is nothing I can do if my readers never look at the title of my blog “Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind” and go and vote for “Random Thoughts from a Confused Mind”. They just saw the first “Random Thoughts” and voted for it. Also I made a tactical mistake of putting up a picture of myself taken in the light a few days before polling—it totally scared away my female readers. And even some male ones.
In retrospect, maybe I should have used Latin for my blog title—something like “Absit invidia ” (No Offense Intended) or “Ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora “( Eggs today are better than chickens tomorrow ) [mmm on second thoughts no…I might have been sured for copyright infringement by a certain management institute] or “Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit” (To boldly go where no man has gone before)—at least I would have had a shot for the best “tag-line”. Plus my blog would not have been confused with someone else’s.
And all these nice pictures of Shakti Kapoor and Mithunda did not get me a “Best Design” nomination—-politics, petty politics. If a picture of Mayawati still does not get you at least a “Best Design” nomination you can bet that there are casteist, Bramhinical forces at work.
The award was rigged I tell you.
GB: I don’t know. And I don’t care. If I did not win it, it is rigged. That’s the truth. There were powerful forces at work behind my defeat—so powerful that I don’t even know who they are.
Not that I care for awards. I blog because I want to write. Now hurry off before I stop giving interviews altogether.
Do remember to vote. And happy blogging.