Powerplay

49 Comments

I cant tell you how depressed this picture made me feel. (from Indiauncut).

So what’s going on in this picture to the left?

Let’s see what Amit who took this picture says.

“At one point, Raj Singh Dungarpur, the team’s manager, got Wasim Jaffer’s attention and pushed his glass towards him. He wanted Jaffer to pour water into it. Jaffer politely obliged.”

Am I depressed on account of Raj Singh Dungarpur’s imperious regal air, the fact that he does not even acknowledge Jaffer’s action with a glance—instead staring straight on like a Sultan watching a mujra while his wine goblet is refilled by an underling?

No I am not.

I am depressed because I do not have anyone “under my command” who would be sufficiently afraid/in awe of my powers so as to pour water into my glass while I kept myself otherwise occupied. After all Dungarpur and I are kind of similar otherwise—-both of us have no personal achievements to speak of, both of us make idiotic, self-important statements, neither of us has any idea of cricket, both of us love Mohammed Azharuddin, both of us hate Sourav Ganguly and both of us were born into royal families.

Okay maybe not the last one (or perhaps the one before too), but you get the picture.

To be honest, I have always admired people in authority who push their subordinates about and treat them as personal serfs. A senior cop who gets on the shoulders of a constable to avoid getting his feet wet, a professor who sends his PhD students to do his family’s groceries, a powerful administrator who has home guards cooking and cleaning his house are all objects of my undiluted admiration.

Take my Class 6 Arts teacher. One day he took a boy’s collage work (something he had spent hours doing) and in front of him ripped it up, slapped him hard on his face and said ” Do you know why I ripped your work? Because I don’t like your face.”

While the young boy, tears running down his cheek, picked up the remnants of his work from the floor and our arts teacher paced the class saying “Keep me in good mood, children” I remember thinking to myself—

Wow what an achiever. Today he is going to go his dingy Bhowanipore hovel and over a dinner of rice and daal tell his fat wife–Guess what I did today ! I made a 12 year old boy cry. While his wife would reply—“Ooh you hunk of a man you. Come to bed bobba and ride me like a rickshaw”.

Yes even at age 12 I was having such thoughts. And idolizing my Arts teacher. And worshipping some of the other noble men and women who would accept gifts from their students—from things like diaries and chocolates to more significant things —all given in the hope that the teachers “liked their faces”.

I remember our school “foundation day” where our founder used to sit on an elevated pedestal smiling benignly while kids piled past him –laying at his feet “presents” which ranged from greetings cards to gift packs of scents and toiletries. I wanted to be like him—lording over puny humans who knew that this superman had the power of life and death over them.

Just like Wasim Jaffer knows that Raj Singh , who as we all know has been sent on the Pakistan tour purely as a stooge of the ruling BCCI clique, exerts an inordinate say in selection matters (though technically speaking, he is not supposed to). So while Jaffer knows that acting as his towel boy may not get him into the team, refusing to do so would be like consuming cyanide with respect to his cricket career . Which is why, like a meek boy, he was obliged to service his master. Now that is what is called Pawar…sorry Power.

In conclusion, I wonder (yes I wonder a bit too often) what would have happened if one day underlings snap. What if, pushed to the corner and sick and tired of their fear of authority being taken for granted—the constable drops his superior into a ditch, the student puts laxatives in the groceries, the home guards throw the frying pan at their boss and ask him to cook his own food, the class 6 kid shoves his boot up the Arts teachers ass, students refuse to “celebrate” foundation day and Wasim Jaffer pours water on mega-blowhard Raj Singh Dungarpur’s head.

That would be some day.

Water on “dung”—-the stink would not have gone away too easily.

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49 thoughts on “Powerplay

  1. Man – durganpur – dont even get me started on that ar$*%&#$(# – he is simply the worst curse that could happen to Indian cricket.

    I wish Jaffer had the arrogance of Ganguly lol and refuse him the drink; sigh – thats what made ganguly different didnt it?

    Amusing part is, it is Jaffer who is sitting besides Durganpur – I wonder why LOL – did senior members of team not want to sit beside Durganpur and end up embrassing themselves by serving water… or… Jaffer was simply trying to be pally pally with him.

    Good post.

  2. Hi Greatbong
    This is a classic!

    Indeed, I had very similar thoughts when I saw the picture in India Uncut. What nerve Durgapur has.

    I remember that photo of the cop sitting on the other cop. Incredible.
    It reminded me of a classic Dr. Seuss story I remember. The King Cat of Katzenstien wanted someone to hold his tail so it wouldn’t drag. Well, his royal tail-holder wanted someone to hold his tail – and so on. Then there was the lowliest cat in Katzenstien who had no one to hold his tail. He quit and started a revolution. Dr. Suess should be read in India.

  3. Nice piece Arnab. I recall now, when I was in high-school, the PT Instructor – a midget of a man would furiously lash young boys on their legs, arms and back with a thick cane. In front of the Principalรขโ‚ฌโ„ขs office! Finally one of them who was bigger than the midget, snatched the cane and beat him back. That boy became a hero and was eventually pardoned. We need more individuals like this boy.

  4. “Come to bed Baba and ride me like a rickshaw”, [laughs hysterically alarming three south american graduate students and an old librarian]

    What does Dungarpur have that Great Bong does’nt?

    Late Mangeshkar ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. hi Arnab, have been reading ‘Random thoughts of a demented mind’ for quite sometime now…Your posts are unique, exquisite, hilarious, thought provoking and are always fine-tuned(if u know what i mean)to the particular context/subject.
    The best part being, your every post is(consciously/unconciously) inclusive of all the afore mentioned qualities, which makes you one of my favourites…This one was a great read, ur sarcasm is blatant and beautiful.
    Great photography as well!
    Cheers!!

  6. For all we know, the water jug might have been on the other side of jaffer and he simply poured instead of shifting it near Durgapur who appears to be intently listening to the questions from the press.
    But thats not so interesting, is it:)
    Must remember not to ask anyone I am having lunch with, if they can pour some water into my glass, never know who might dump it on my head.

  7. @Vin,Red,S, Ambar: ๐Ÿ™‚ I really hated that guy.

    @Dipthought: An excellent picture no doubt…Amit shows he isnt India’s most popular blogger for nothing.

    @FreakyChakra: Yes possibly—we have been genetically programmed to be subservient.

    @Supremus: I agree with you—the reason he hates Ganguly has probably got to do with some such water incident in the past where the reaction may have been a lil different from the serf.

    @Michael: Dungarpur represents the worst of the Indian “ruling” culture—the fact that he is the scion of a royal family doesnt help.

    @Gokul: Serves him right—these PT teachers, are by and large, extremely frustrated and damaged people who leave no stone unturned to take these frustrations out on young boys and girls.

    @Anon: Thanks…I thought you meant http://o3.indiatimes.com/braincurry

    @Surya: Thank you thank you…nice words much appreciated.

    @Dreamweaver: Yes you are right. It may have been on the other side of Jaffer and he could not have passed the jug to Raj Singh. (Though why I cant see). But even assuming that, doesnt Raj Singh need to acknowledge the gesture with a whispered thank you or even a smile? Isnt that the “way to do it” ? But no he keeps looking straight on not even acknowledging with a glance. Raj Singh–interested in anything but himself? Puleeze. If you believe in that, well there is a bridge I can sell you.

  8. GB
    It is a photo and not a video, and the glass is half full (not half empty;)So any smiles or thanks or aknwoledgement cannot be evident.

    Anyway my argument is taking the fun out of the picture..I would prefer Durgapur to be the villain and would gladly love to join you in toppling a jugful of water on anybodys head.

  9. dreamweaver makes a good point.. so let’s try to analyze a bit and get to the bottom of that water jug:

    Here is the photo (from the same India Uncut post) showing the empty table; and here is the photo with everyone seated.
    Looking at both photographs, it appears that the water jug happened to be right in front of Wasim Jaffer, or between Jaffer and the guy to his left, or (the least likely possibility) between Jaffer and Dungarpur, and he could either have pushed the jug towards him or poured the water.. pouring the water in such a situation is not exactly sycophantic but polite table manners.. of course, it does depends on the manner and tone of the way the episode occured and perhaps we need the video to make a better judgement.

    That apart, I agree that making personal serfs out of subordinates or anyone lower down in the pecking order is not only a feature but largely a matter of pride in Indian culture. I remember riding (in the vehicular sense) an auto-rickshaw in Varanasi whose driver I was slightly acquainted with – two policemen got on and on reaching their destination casually walked away without paying (of course). “Harami ka khana, harami ka peena.. harami ka chalna” cursed the driver as soon as they were out of earshot. But I felt little sympathy since its most likely that he was merely disgruntled at being at the receiving end.

  10. Hi Greatbong
    Clearly your description of your (vile) art teacher and his wife has clearly made a vivid impression on your many readers. Truly a great piece of prose.

    To Dreamweaver and Debashish, I suppose it is possible to interpret the picture in many ways. I read cricinfo regularly and clearly Amit and Greatbong’s interpretation is much more consistent with the general impression one would have in reading about RS Durganpur in many interviews and articles.

    There’s really little doubt that he viewed Jaffer as a peon and wanted Jaffer to know that he is nothing but a peon and that Durganpur is a great Poohbah who deserves to be served with respect by the peons in the team. But really, it is Jaffer who deserves respect. He has accomplished something few others have: he has earned a spot in the coveted 11. And he did it the hard way – by slogging it out for 10 years in Ranji. Yes, it might have been nice if he had poured the water on his Durganpur’s head. But that isn’t done, is it?

  11. GB’s response to dreamweaver: Do you really think anybody else in Dungarpur’s place will be any different? If not, then its little use singling out Dungarpur. This is what you get from a sycophancy promoting power-respecting culture where an ordinary first class cricketer selecting the national team or superciliously managing it does not really seem to be a matter of concern.

    While its the way things are done in every cricket team, I would say that the very tradition of making reserve squad members carry drinks etc. renders them vulnerable to subtle domination/humiliation, which may be intentional if individuals in the team management are so disposed.

  12. Hi Arnab,

    Great post. I think similar sentiments were echoed a while back when Amit from ‘India Uncut’ blogged about Madman’s post ‘Servant Culture’ much so prevalent in India.

    I do completely understand Jaffer’s actions as he has few choices left concerning his career, considering this to be his last chance to get back into the Indian Team.

    -Yuvraj

  13. Arnab,

    Nice article. Nice photograph too. I dont look at Amit Varma as a good cricket writer though and I find it surprising and funny that he’s writing for a British broadsheet, Guardian. His first installment for Guardian was this horrible piece:
    http://sport.guardian.co.uk/
    cricket/story/0,10069,1682880,00.html
    full of factual errors and plain jane so to speak. In fact none of the Cricinfo writers seem to analyze , but freely infer and voice their prejudices. If you read Sydeny Morning Herald (say Marshallsea or Roebuck) or Daily Telegraph (Atherton and Martin Johnson amongst others)or Australian (Conn and Ramsey), they have such good writers. I dont like any of the Cricinfo cricket writers except for Osman and Rahul (Bhattacharya not Bhtaiya). If this style of cricket writting is encouraged then English literature grads in India should look forward to working for Cricinfo irrepective of knowledge of cricket.

    Look at Dilip Premachandran today.
    http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/
    pakvind/content/story/232534.html
    “Within a fortnight, he was gone, a memory where there had once been a legend. What Ganguly wouldn’t give for such a last exit.”

    They is the 1000th time that someone from Cricinfo has spoken of terms like golden sunset etc., when Ganguly has expressed his desire to play in the 2007 WC. Wheather Ganguly deserves to play is a different matter, but who are you guys to give him a farewell? Sometimes I feel…Anand Vasu who has served Cricinfo for so many years…has off late been writing such shit bulletins. So what if I ask Anand Vasu to walk off into a golden sunset with a new kid like Sid V taking his place. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Maybe thats the reason why I always like to read cricketing expert’s viewpoints even if his english is not too good rather than reading the bleedin’ obvious.

    Regading Raj Singh, this is nothing new and he has made an ass of himself quite often in the past. Even though what he said about Ganguly was true, how dare he say such things as a manager?
    But hey..rant against him from USA, but if you go to Mumbai, please do visit him at CCI and talk about the golden eras of cricket, when Jardine played, when Pataudi captained india etc etc. and you”ll be served the best quality whiskey and other treats. ๐Ÿ™‚
    So did Prem.

  14. Q: Lata Mangeshkar was once engaged to a guy whom she didn’t marry due to certain objections from her family. To dedicate her true love she decided to remain a spinster for life. Who was Lata’s only fiancee ?

    A: RSD

    Questioner/Quizzmaster: You guessed it right. Parnab the great. Even today I don’t know if the answer was correct.

    Anyway, here is an excellent article on the excesses of unquestioned authority. The Prof forced his Grad student to donate eggs for his research. And then he went on to forge results to prove to the world that he was the best. Noone complained.

  15. GB: no doubt this is alarming, and this happens almost everywhere … as u say a Ph.D guide doing it to his students, etc … I even know of female bosses asking juniors to fix appointment at beauty salons, etc …
    and this is quite common in cricket … I had the experience in my younger days of playing cricket at a slightly competitive level, and was a product of a coaching camp that was run by former Bengal captain Gopal Bose and Arun Lal (another product from here from my time was Debang Gandhi who played for India in Australia) … and all seniors used to make us give them massage after the sessions … and anyone who couldn’t do it good, the punishment was two rounds around Northern Park (Bhowanipur) … now THAT was not funny …

  16. Hi Arnab..new reader to your blog… I simply love your writing and the issues you write about and the way you go about it..and everything else..
    Its a great place to be..

    Ajay

  17. Well, Absolutely right..Raj Singh has always behaved like those who believe that the world should celebrate simply coz they are born on this planet earth. A man who keeps talking without thinking is made a manager, Are the BBCI guys nuts!!

    Arnab,
    Started reading your posts quite a while back. Must say that you have an excellent command over the language as well as a gr8 sarcastic style. Your IIPM blog was simply out of this world. Really liked it!!!

    And someone said that Lata was supposed to marry this greatKing, well me too have heard the same and also read an interview of Raj where is hinting at the same.

    HP

  18. Hey Greatbong,
    Another masterpiece, man !!!
    It’s merely been a week since I’ve started reading your weblogs but I’ve become your fan, man !!!
    You are unique….really one of a kind.
    And the topics you choose….oh My !!! so unconventional yet so relevant……
    Keep feeding our minds like this always, mate.
    It’s real pleasure going through your weblogs.

    I don’t remember many innovating one-liners as classy as “Come to bed bobba and ride me like a rickshaw” in all the weblogs I’ve come across till date.

    Really great work, mate… ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Hey Greatbong,
    Another masterpiece, man !!!
    It’s merely been a week since I’ve started reading your weblogs but I’ve become your fan, man !!!
    You are unique….really one of a kind.
    And the topics you choose….oh My !!! so unconventional yet so relevant……
    Keep feeding our minds like this always, mate.
    It’s real pleasure going through your weblogs.

    I don’t remember many innovating one-liners as classy as “Come to bed bobba and ride me like a rickshaw” in all the weblogs I’ve come across till date.

    Really great work, mate… ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. Great comment on the Dungheap phenomenon, gb.

    However, I wish to draw a distiction between the arts teacher and the phd guide, on the one hand, and dungheap — that is, the royalty variety, on the other. The latter is 100 times more insufferable — check out Dungheap, Nutty Singh, Fat-assed Scindias, et al — as their arrogance is based the vain assumption that they’re still some sort of rajas and the others are serfs. the real power they weild perhaps counts at times, but it’s their deeply ingrained fuedal sensibility that makes them as painful as a festering carbuncle. It’s time the media stops referring to them as this or that royalty because these s-o-bs start believing that they really are rulers. the only good royalty (the indian variety esp) is a dead one.

  21. Hi Arnab,
    My first visit to your Blog, just read this one article and man was it feast.
    Great style of writing. Reading the comments was very interesting too. So many different facets have been picked up by the readers, RSD and his Raja Behaviour, Jaffer, Ganguly, Amit, “Come to bed bobba…..”, Writing styles of Cricket Writers etc etc…
    Amazing….Hope to be a regular visitor.

    Saurabh

  22. Somebody said Masterpiece… The first cricket repeated article-types I ever read.. since it was more to do with Babudom than cricket though, not there cricket is not in babudom.. I have started politicing my blog,,, drop by drop…. lots to write though lots to write

  23. Sourav Ganguly in playing 11 and as a specialist opener. After being sacked as Captain of India its going great guns for SG….”All-rounder” …”experienced campaigner for Pak tour” ….”Specialist batsman”…..what next?

    Did I hear someone say “Wicket keeper” ???

    BTW, someone (yourfan2??) has rightly pointed out about cricinfo….the only thing they talk about is a team without Ganguly or if Ganguly is selected its his last opportunity to “Go out into the Sunset”. Is there no other option left? Whats domestic cricket for?

    BTW, if you would have followed the first days game you would know that Team India really need to focus on things other than Ganguly to get a grip of this test.

    Hats off to Pakistan batsman who played a very positive game & seem to be running away with the game.

  24. Oh man, you write so well!!
    I totally agree with the middle para of ‘Supremus’s’ comment tho!! I like Ganguly, not as much for his skills regarding the game, as i do for his positive aggression and what he brings to the team.. Good thing, he’s there in the team today..

    Otherwise;
    I just blogrolled you and thot i should tell you..!
    ‘Arnab’… The name’s very close to my heart, (no!! no!! i’m a straight guy with straighter prefs.)

    Heh! Drop in sometime.

    Evening..

  25. hi Greatbong,

    I have been reading your posts for a long time now..and i have read all your posts….i visit your blog almost everyday…and its needless to say i like your sense of humour..also a source of inspiration to start blogging..anyways…i was just browsing the Indian Express website and i found something on which you would like to comment…maybe its not the right place to post it but i couldn’t find your E-mail id hence i would post it here..

    Ganguly’s quest

    “I, the prince of Bongyland
    Stake my claim in the kirket team.
    Forget my contact eyes, but see how my face it beams
    With my newly developed stance
    I will open the innings and Shoaib and Sami
    How nicely they will make me dance!
    My danseuse Dona will surely squirm in trance!

    I, the prince of Bongyland
    With Buddha and Basu and fellow Bonglandians
    And now even Pawar, who dare foresake me!
    Am a member of the eleven
    Even though in my head
    Am at sixes and Sevens.

    Slowly but surely the Wall will crack
    My princely power will see to that
    You must have got the hint of that on sports on Ten
    By Buddha, Basu and Pawar I swear,
    Bonglandians I will play in the WC 2007
    No chance, I will not miss that opportunity
    Not Even by a breadth of hair!

    Cricket balls do I care whether I hit or fail
    By the Grace of powers be
    I shall remain in the eleven and you shall see.”

    Please dont take it as my views as i myself is A Ganguly Fan and agree with most of your views on this.

    the link to this post is

    http://www.expressindia.com/messages.php?newsid=61331#123037

    regards,
    Varun.

  26. In my brief stint as one of THEM (ie, as opposed to US) in school last year, I confess I acted like a Bihar GOvt. bureacrat. I think I spelt that wrong.

  27. Haha.. the photographer has caught a great moment.. But greatbong, what are your views on Ganguly not opening?

    I bet Ganguly would have pee-ed in his pants if he were sent to open, facing the Pakistani pace attack with a new ball. He really is such a sissy! Is there a rule by which a player is ruled out in case a player does pitch-wetting.. I would like to have sensors placed on the pitch when Ganguly faces a pace attack. Sure would be a hilarious way to get out!

  28. @dreamweaver: :-)…yes of course, everybody wants Raj Singh to be the villiain.

    @Debashish: The picture, as you point out, is insufficient evidence for calling Raj Singh “highhanded”—only in a court of law. The circumstantial evidence (as Michael points out, the mere fact that Amit who was present there posted the picture on his blog is proof enough that this picture was itself a snapshot of Dungarpur’s attitude–nothing happened after this) says otherwise.

    Dont think the drinks-carrying responsibility of the 12th man was originally meant to be humiliating.

    @Michael: Yes it is rather vivid ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Yuvraj: Yes I feel sorry for Jaffer—doubly so because he loses a place in the Indian batting order to Sourav—who really should not be playing this Test.

    @yourfan2: We all know that Cricinfo has severely compromised its journalistic impartiality of late—and in an unrelated (wink wink) development Rahul Dravid graces the cover of their newly launched print magazine sprouting wholly-unDravid like controversial statements targeted at you-know-who. Did you hear the sound of mutual backrubbing here ?

    @Anon: Thank you, much appreciated.

    @Bengali guy: I still cant decide if this is true or one more arrow from Parnab’s quiver of auto-generated facts.

    @Bonatellis: Exactly. And Kapil Dev during his domestic cricket days used to be sent out by his seniors to get cigarettes.

    @Ajay: Thank you.

    @HP: This Raj Singh-Lata Mangeskar thing is most interesting.

    @Dev: Thank you…more one liners coming right up.

    @Rani: The royalty thing is just one more layer to Dungheap’s arrogance. Pataudi is another extremely arrogant man—though I have great respect for his cricketing brain.

    @Esdee: Thank you…

    @Gaurav: Thank you for dropping in. Yes you are as right.

    @Anthony: Looking fwd to your political posts.

    @Amit: Illuminating links…

    @Ashit: Amazing stuff from Pakistan. But to be fair there was nothing in the pitch for the first 2 days—if we had won the toss, there was a high chance we would also be in a similar position. As to Ganguly’s selection, I dont think it was a wise one—considering the form Jaffer was in in the tour match and that sending Sourav as an opener would be unfair to him.

    @Anon: All I can say is that poem confirms my thesis that Sourav-bashing is frequently a cover for Bong-bashing. But I appreciate the rhyme scheme.

    @Srin: Details please.

    @Sunil: Go back to India. Become a prof and have a steady stream of underlings for all eternity.

    @Tanuj: Sourav is lazy. That may be true. But at least he has a record of performance and sterling achievements. Which cannot be said for the Raj.

    @Vishal: You seem to be obsessed with urination man. Do take a shower wearing a gold ring.

  29. Dungarpur is not exactly “a great man”. I could use a few more juicier words to describe him… but we all know what those words are….

  30. There was this “class representative” chosen by popular demand; and our teacher replaced him with a kid from a rich and influential family.

    Who was abusing power in this situation? I pity that teacher.

  31. Hello Bong,

    What great pleasure you get from bashing RSD – no doubt because RSD
    himself revels in bashing your “favorite cricketer”.

    Well here is something that was shown not on India uncut (or whatever that is), but in a live cricket match. Tendulkar and Ganguly were opening the batting in a one dayer. In the middle of a longish partnerhisp, they called for water. 12th man (a former Punjab offie – can’t recall his name, but I remember the turban even now) – came in with two water bottles. Sachin took off his gloves and took a bottle and helped himself. Your favorite cricketer (though not mine), simply turned up his snout for the poor 12th man to pour in water into his mouth.

    Real team man your Ganguly and a perfect example for all Indian cricket captains to follow.

  32. Very nicely expressed and what a topic “The boss is always right”.

    Raj singh incidentally also tried to take on Sunil Gavaskar on an issue I don’t remember and said that former superstars should not interfere with cricketing matters or something like that. What kapil Dev has written about Raj singh in his autobiography is hardly complimentary. It is good that cricket is so transparent otherwise it would not be too difficult for the board to surpress superestars too. Kapil Dev has written about how the board never lets a captain be too powerful.

    Talking of office politics and the teacher incident reminds me of My management guru, a Bengali gentelman called Ashish kundu. He was told by his boss once to do the chores for him in Russia of all places. Ashish curtly told him that he was an Engineer MBA from IIFT and he would do know such thing. Much to my delight, he proved to be a management prodigy and went on to get three double promotions in one year and thrash everybody out of sight before outclassing the chairman hiself. So much so that he inspired a poem out of me which is on my website. All bosses who behave like that deseve such treatment. Unfortunately, my own father has such proclivities and the explanation is that the managers of the sixties and seventies are like this. Well, this is the 21st century and they should change.

    What you have written about the studnet is disgraceful and unpardonable. In my time there used to be a music teacher who used to charge, fling himself on the students and just beat them up and humiliated his tabla subordinate repeatedly for whom we felt very sorry. The prupose of education is to draw out the potential of a human being(my blog Make your passion your profession). That is the literal meaning of the word education. Teachers are not even aware of that. Then where is the jusftification in such behavior which even normally is disgraceful. It would not be surprising if the student tries to take revenge hindi movie style.

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