A Few Phone Calls

65 Comments

Saturday morning. I wake up to see that Shahid Afridi has blasted the Indian attack to smithereens. Younis Khan, another mediocre player whose career India has made, came as close to a double century as possible. As a result, we are now battling to save the Test.

And I had lost the Indibloggies Indiblog of the year to Amit Varma (225 to 159 votes).

Not surprised at either result, I was however taken aback when my phone started ringing.

Me: “Hello”

Voice at other end: ” Aieeeeeeee salaaaaaaaa. Tu haar gaya. Amit Varma ne tujhe lamba kar diya, maachish ki tili ko khamba kar diya.” ( English translation: You lost? …rest is quite untranslatable)

Me:” Prabhuji? Mithun-da? Please don’t get so agitated. It’s perfectly okay….”

Mithun-da: “Bhari bazaar main tera izzat loot liya jaaye aur main hijre ki tarah baitha rahoon?” ( English translation: You are raped in broad daylight and I, like an eunuch, do not do anything?)

Me: “But Prahu-ji , I am not your sister—no-one has raped me. Please…it’s ok…”

Mithun-da:” Kya Ok Ok laga rakha hain. Yeh kya saboon ke bar hain jo bar bar lagaya jaaye? Jine tumhe vote nahin diya un darindon ko to main maar maarke kothewali ki us jaga ki chamri ki tarah bana doonga jo phatke kha kha-ke kali ho jaati hain, har ma behen ki gaali ho jaati hain.”

(English translation: What “Ok Ok”? Is this a cake of soap which can be used and re-used ? [Author’s note: Ok was a brand of soap popular among the toiling masses–the kind who love Prabhu-ji’s movies] I shall thrash those devils who did not vote for you so hard that…..rest is again untranslatable…..those interested are asked to see the movie “Gunda” from which this dialogue is taken, just like the “lamba kar diya” line)

Me: ” No no please…no violence. Listen to me Prabhuji…”

Mithun-da :” Do chaar chaye aath dus….bus” (Translation: 2 , 4, 6, 8, 10—enough)

The phone disconnects. Gawd. So Mithun-da reads blogs. And that too mine.

Just as I am collecting my thoughts, another phone call.

Voice on phone:” Hailo. Theees eeeej Bhappi Lahiri. Pleej do not looj hart.”

Me: ” Oh Bappi-da. Thanks for calling. ”

Bhappi-da: ” Phor you I hab composed inspeerational moojik—it weel be sooperhit, it weel win Granny’s. Let mee play a few baaars. Tan tan tan ta ta, tan tan ta ta”

Me: ” Bappi-da you composed that? That’s the theme from “Chariots of Fire”.”

Bhappi-da: “Off course—to geeb you inspeeration I need to get inspeeration. Now I must go, shoopershtars Michaeel Jaxon, Madonna and Shamantha Phox are waiting in my leebing room ashking for some toons.”

Michael Jackson waiting for toons. Indeed.

The phone rings again.

Voice on phone: ” Hello. Am I speaking to Greatbong? This is Parnab, PhD from Princesston, honorary LIAR from Hambridge calling you to ask for an interview in connection with the Indibloggies award.”

Me: ” But I lost. Why do you want to interview me?”

Parnab: ” Maybe it’s because as losers we can both empathize.”

Me: “You got a point. But seriously, who would be interested in reading an interview with me?”

Parnab: “You are right. Noone. That’s why I am going to say that this is an interview with Che Guevara.”

Me: ” What crap. I am not going to be part of a lie. Plus you cannot get away with it—Che is dead.”

Parnab: ” Who says so? The quizmaster is always right. In my world Che is alive—did you know that it’s he who shouts out “Monica ooh my darling” in “Piya Tu Abh to Aja”? Did you know that Narendranath Dutta (who later became Vivekanand) was the first bowler to take 4 wickets in Calcutta Maidan cricket? Do you know that the baby in the 1977 Coca Cola advertisement was Angelina Jolie? Do you know that the brandname “Lakme” is derived from the Hindu goddess “Laxmi”? Do you know that Jyoti Basu was the lawyer who bailed out Mithun Chakraborty when he was arrested on grounds of being a Naxal? Do you that Osama Bin Laden’s father was supposed to do Omar Sharif’s role in “Lawrence of Arabia” ? Do you know what monumentous event happened when a young British hippie watched Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry while high on pot? ”

Me: “Mmm no”

Parnab: “The name “Harry Potter” was born . There are a lot of things you don’t know. So don’t act smart. Or as the dons say to each other in the hallowed halls of Oxford–“Zyada shana mat ban”.On second thoughts, I don’t need you for the interview—you ask too many questions.”

Another disconnect. Good riddance I thought to myself. Though at the back of my mind, an interview would have been nice—I could have talked about how important blogs are, how important I am—-and so on.

Inundated by celebrity calls, I decide to get pro-active. And call one of my heroes—the Ganguly before he…ahem…calls me.

Me: ” Hello is this Maharaj?”

A maniacal voice at the other end: ” No this is the real Raj—the prince of dungland. Kindly wait, Ganguly has gone out to face the Pakistani bowling. He will back in 30 seconds.”

Me: ” Ha ha. Old pathetic joke. Stop bullshitting—I am not your waterboy. Plus this is nighttime in Pakistan—there is no game going on.

Raj Singh :(maniacal laugh): “Ha ha….okay I lied. The truth is that he and Nagma are having a reunion after many years. Again let me repeat what I said: he will back in 30 seconds”….(more laughter)

Me: “Okay whatever. Just tell him that the Greatbong called to inform him that despite Dada voting for me, I lost the Indibloggies.”

Raj Singh: ” No need to tell him. He knows and I know—all you Bongs are losers by default. As I like to say , Bongs are “Dull”-Mians. Let me tell you a joke I heard—one day Sourav Ganguly scored some runs. Oh wait that was the joke ! Whoppie. And just so that you know, I read your blog too—you oxymoron you. ”

I disconnect the phone.

Just another uneventful Saturday in paradise.

[PS: Congratulations to Amit, Jai , Megha and the other winners. And a huge round of applause to Debashish for running a smooth election. And a heartful of gratitude for everyone who voted for me.]

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65 thoughts on “A Few Phone Calls

  1. I don’t think you have lost.

    India Uncut has been around for a very long time and has a lot more readers. Considering the fact that your blog became popular recently, getting 159 votes shows how much quality content you have up here.

    I am sure that next year, you will emerge as the winner! 🙂

    Here’s to the upcoming No.1 desi blogger! 🙂

    JD

  2. Suberb, utterly suberb. The chinese students are suddenly very startled at my hysterical bursts of laughter. I am still slowly rocking in my chair.

    Naheeeeeeeeeeeeen! Uttering his most blood curling martial yell I brandish my metaphorical umbrella.

    “Chalbe na! Chalbe na! Remember Jyotibabu was denied the Prime Ministership and they still don’t recognize that Jagodish Babu invented the radio. You are in illustrious company”

  3. O Great Bong.. may the best wishes from Prabhuji and Bappida be with you forever. I am sure the Superstar from down south would have something positive to tell you too, but i guess he’s currently busy with this annual movie thing that he does.
    In any case, where was the Narendranath Datta thing asked? I mean, was it in a quiz (by the Phd from Princesston, perhaps?). Cos I have heard this one once in a quiz too, but in my case there was a variation (first five wicket haul in first class cricket on indian soil)!

  4. You do write well (albeit one dimensional),your blog lacks real content and seems to be heavily pro-bengali..but then it is called greatbong..

  5. arnab, this is EXACTLY the kind of writing that had me hooked to and voting for this blog! oi parnab bit ta was the best, or maybe that’s just my prejuidice speaking ;D

    way to go, boss!

  6. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
    Aiyee!
    Maine to Amit ko vote diya tha..lekin phir mein afsos se so nahin paya!
    Keep on rocking the so called free world
    ps-dont write on politics…u sound like another useless opinianted bong git..( excuze for perosnal comments)

  7. dkjariwala said…
    I don’t think you have lost.

    India Uncut has been around for a very long time and has a lot more readers. Considering the fact that your blog became popular recently, getting 159 votes shows how much quality content you have up here.

    I am sure that next year, you will emerge as the winner! 🙂

    I agree. The very fact that you were able to grab 159 votes and come a second is quite an indication to your growing popularity. I do not remember how I stumbled upon your blog but ever since I have come here I have personally spread word about your blog to a lot of my mates.
    Keep faith!

  8. Do you think you really lost? Do you think this is a measure of how good a blog is? You have the same thoughts as I did, right?

    This was hilarious, sire! And I liked the Parnab part the most… well written! :))

  9. Well I was hoping you would win. (Nothing against India Uncut though.)
    This post is amazing like all the great ones before. A losing speech………. boss u r amazing!!!

  10. Great post Arnab-da…what a losing speech!!

    I am sure you will come out on top the next time..

    Till then hope you continue to light us up with your hilarious posts – you the Aurora Blogoris of the blogworld 🙂

  11. @Ooranos: Nice…

    @DkJariwala,Santosh: Strictly speaking, Amit started blogging after me 🙂 that is Indiauncut started in December 2004 while this blog started August 2004. However, Amit’s blog was instantenously popular because Amit was already an established writer on Cricinfo and he won the Indibloggies best new blog 2005 barely a few months after starting his blog.

    My blog however had a very very slow start—even January of last year I used to get 400 odd visitors per month. December 2005 saw 25,000 visitors.

    But I understand your point and I hope to win it next year. 🙂

    @Red: :-)Jyotibabu was denied the PM-ship by his own people. And between us, thank goodness for that.

    @Anti: I am sure Rajani found my phone engaged. Someone posted this Vivekananda question in my comments section as an example of Parnabism—the rest of the questions I made up. I am sure there have been multiple versions of that “fact”.

    @Shakeel: Thank you

    @Bengali guy: There are some goodies the winner picks up—but its mostly bragging rights as well as a cool logo one can sport on the blog.

    @Gaurav: Yes its these personalities who have contributed to this blog in a big way—so they do have their stakes in it.

    @Rimi: Thank you…

    @Aditya: The best losing speeches are given by the chef’d mission of the Indian Olympic contingent.

    @Sudipta: Maybe I do.

    @Indianpad: I hope I shall have your kimti vote the next time around. Namaskar.

    @Amit: Thank you. And congrats again—let me add I just love the pictures from Pakistan. The Abdul Qadir academy ad was priceless.

    @Anil: It sure did. Jay Prabhu-ji.

    @Manasi: Thank you..maybe next time.

    @Bonatellis: Thank you.

    @Ananda: Aurora Blogoris ! Wow. Anyday better than Aurora Buggeris.
    🙂

    @Dreamweaver: Aiehh …(Shahrukh Khan style laughter)…..Madannn Chopraaaaa……

    @SD: The tubewell was *if* I won :-)….

    @Mayank: Yes. In true Mamamta style I shall go to Debashish’s house and lie on his doorsteps and prevent him from going to work till a recount/repoll is done.

    @Anon1, Anon2:

    Dealing with your criticisms–

    1. One-dimensional–> Which dimension is that? I think I keep (or try to keep) a fairly well rounded mix of topics: I take care that all my posts dont end up worshipping/blasting the Indian entertainment world. But a lot of people dont like that–example Anon2 doesnt want me to write on politics (and thus wants me to one-dimensional). So since I cant satisfy multi-dimensionality as well as not talk about politics, here’s what I will do.

    Keep on doing what I think is right and what I have always done. Fair enough?

    2.Pro-Bengali–> I am a Bengali who grew up in Calcutta. So its natural much of my perspective will be colored by my upbringing. And as to being “pro-Bengali” I dont find anything wrong in that as long as I am not “anti-somebody”. And if you care to notice, there are a lot of “pulling-down” of Bengali icons in my posts—once you can get past the not-so-subtle sarcasm. And when one of you anons speak of Bengalis in terms of a stereotype, its your bias and prejudice that comes out. If there is something I am against, it’s this.

    3. Should not write about politics–> It would have been nice if you had told me why. Something wrong in my politicial analysis? Wrong facts? Or the fact that you don’t agree with my political views? In which case, asking me not to write about them looks…mm…how shall I put it… a bit bigoted/intolerant perhaps?

  12. Great post once again! Parnab and his treasure trove of interesting facts..lol..the tragedy is that now I have started doubting any interesting fact that comes from Parnab.. and even from other people: I always wonder whether the guy heard it at a Parnab quiz!

    The last para was simply too good.. Dull-mian and oxymoron 🙂 And its seems we might be making progress in joining the Sardars as people who can laugh at themselves.. that Ganguly was joke was awesome (“one day Sourav Ganguly scored some runs”).. reminds me of the Sardar joke with the punchline “The Sardar said ‘I think'”.

    As for losing the blog contest, India Uncut is no doubt good, but more of a journalist’s diary. I wouldn’t put it in the same league as RTDM.. I haven’t yet seen such excellent humor writing on any other blog..

  13. Was stating some possible causes as to why this blog might not have won…(You may choose to ignore my comments)

    1) One – Dimensional : Your sarcasm and acerbity comes through in almost every post.You take a subject,parody it and well, thats that.This Durell-esque writing style can get boring sometimes…I also sense a bit of bombastic attitude in all your posts.You rarely seem to agree with anyone who has a different opinion (as I am sure you will with me)

    2) Lack real content :So far your posts have mainly dealt with imitations of Mithun-da & bappi-da,saurav bashers,raging hormones kinda subjects..very litle of anything else.

    3) Pro-Bengali : I never implied that you were anti-anything.
    However, my opinion was based on posts that showed your take on the Saurav saga.Also,I see about 70-80% of bengalis responding to your posts , which is not a bad thing,but maybe your blog does not appeal to more people (?)..

  14. Greatbong,

    I am reminded of David Houghton’s innings against New Zealand in the 1987 World Cup. Against all odds…he almost took Zimbabwe to an improbable victory. Amit Varma has a strong team, lots of people in the media know him and and hes backed by libertarian cartel and their followers. You are alone….but equivalent to 100. Still 159 votes is ….just wow. Just think of it…the world took notice of your blog after that seminal Mithunda post.

    THIS ELECTION PROVES NOTHING. ONE THING WHICH WAS OVERSHADOWED IS THAT NITIN PAI, WHO IS SUCH A GRAET BLOGGER
    ****edited out by GB*******

    I admire the way you take defeat in stride. I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that any other loser would not have taken this loss so sportingly.

    To me however you are the winner. Election proves nothing. GW Bush too was voted by American public, but was he the best choice? Methinks not. Similarly here.
    Also look at the sample size. Do you believe that you have only 159 fans..or amit 225. Its all about sample size. Here the sample size is so small that this election proves nothing. There could have been rigging (multiple votes by the same person), many people simply not bothering to vote. Plus theres the issue of visibility. A while ago if you asked someone to name an Indian blog he would have said India Uncut much like Doordarshan was the Indian channel in the 80’s.

    Here’s why you lost:
    1> Amit Varma by virtue of his association with cricinfo has a marketshare that you dont have. If Amit Varma was not with Cricinfo, hardly anyone would have knew him.

    2> Amit Varma is actually nothing more than “Read the Full thing here”. But you are the epitome of imagination, originality and humour. So Amit Varma doesnt get stale inspite of banality is beacuse fresh news is never stale. He knows this and cleverly uses this tactic to attract his readers like a newspaper or magazine does. He tries to act as an erudite economist, only to dish out shallow pices. :). And boss… the world knows that if you were a cricket writer, you would have written much much better than Amit does.

    3> Amit Varma does a sinecure job for Cricinfo. He has ample time to read newspapers and make posts. You boss are a great research sceintist…make technological innovations which actually empower bloggers. Its is just amazing that you still have the time to churn out such quality posts.

    But noone remembers Amit Varma’s past posts..they are like old newspapers lying in your basement. But all of your posts are so poignant.

    Also as Dk Jariwala correctly pointed out, your product was relatively unknown to consumers. But India Uncut was advertised a great deal -both by self (through links to past posts) and by others.

    Look Arnab, you are not a product of the school of journalism..so you dont have their bad habits. Your writing ability is a gift which few possess. You know, your blog is still in the promotion stage…just look at the earlier post, so many new people are discovering you every day and loving your blog. You wont believe just how much joy this gives me.

    But dont worry Arnab. This was just your first election. In his first Test match innings, L. Sivaramakrishnan got the better of SR Waugh. Siva faded away and not many remember him , but Waugh went on to become a legend.

    Arnab, always remember even if the world went agaisnt you, your fans like yourfan and me would always be with you through thick and thin. But its ok. So while the result does not affect me much, the fact that you came second does. I could not eat dinner yesterday after this news. Even single malt scotch whiskey tasted so tasteless.

    But its time to move on. The future belongs to you Arnab.

  15. @Debashish: A valid point you bring up there. With the virus of false information being spread by P, it is very difficult to trust any bit of counter-intuitive trivia coming from anyone.

    @yourfan2: I must disagree with you on a few points.

    1. I strongly take exception to what you said in the edited part. You may not like someone’s style or prefer Nitin Pai (I personally do and voted for the Acorn)—but that does not mean we should refer to anyone in any way that may be deemed condescending. I was in two minds whether to edit out that part of your comment—but I did it in the end because while I am fine with not-so-complimentary things said about me, I dont want this blog to carry something negative about a fellow blogger.
    I hope you understand why this editing had to be done.

    2. I also dont ascribe to the POV that Amit has a sinecure in Cricinfo. I dont know and I dont think you know that too definitely. Again this contest is not me vs Amit and I dont see any wisdom in getting personal here. You are free not to like Amit’s style but I would prefer that on the comment’s section of my blog we do not get overtly negative on anyone.

    Amit has his own style (which is popular—no matter what the reasons) and I have mine. I admire Amit (though I have had rather heated exchanges of mails with him once) and feel that his popularity is well-deserved.Like you I also prefer blogs which have a lot of “original content” (like Jaiarjun Singh) but that doesnt mean we should be deprecatory towards those who have a different style. And while Amit’s Cricinfo connection may have given him an initial traffic boost, the fact that he has been able to sustain it shows that people do love him. Deservedly so.

    3) There is no need for you to be sad at the results. I wasnt. This post was not motivated by any sadness *at all*——–I just thought of it as a nice way to re-introduce a few of my favorite “characters”—I owe them a lot. 🙂

    In conclusion, I always look forward to your comments and your support and the fact that I can always count on you for support (getting emotional here :-)) but I hope you understand the fact that remarks against non-celebrities is something I would prefer not to have on this blog.

  16. Greatbong,

    I didnt know that Indibloggies were that huge lol – that saying, congratulations to all winners, deserving or not.

    You deserved it too, didnt win, bad luck, better luck next time 🙂 – Infact, instead of your campaign poster, next year I suggest a music video composed by Bappi and appropriately danced to it by MithunDa for your campaign should do the trick!!

    Hehheh – whether awards or not, keep your sublime sarcasm going hehe :), which is hard to find by, and I mean reallllllly hard to find by in Indian Blogosphere. Parnab was too good!!!

    Cheers!

    Suyog

  17. Perfectly OK Arnab…I dont mind the editing at all. You are best fit to deem whats suitable on your blog. OK..let me rephrase it and say that Nitin’s loss is like…umm….WI losing in 83 final with that team. Is this OK.?? :)))

    I still stand by my views but I do understand that I have to watch out for what I say …now that your blog is read by so many people. Maybe Ill email you responses like the previous one from now on.

    Finally:
    “I am fine with not-so-complimentary things said about me”
    Again you show your greatness.

    &

    “remarks against non-celebrities is something I would prefer not to have on this blog”

    Absolutely. Absolutely. Those came up in context with you and the elections…otherwise..I dont give a damn.

    Cheers and enjoy the long weekend.

  18. @Anon:

    Thank you for your detailed criticisms. However you need not have stayed anon, I would not have sent Prabhuji after you—but oh sorry I am getting repetitive here.


    1) One – Dimensional : Your sarcasm and acerbity comes through in almost every post.You take a subject,parody it and well, thats that.This Durell-esque writing style can get boring sometimes…I also sense a bit of bombastic attitude in all your posts.You rarely seem to agree with anyone who has a different opinion (as I am sure you will with me)

    Well we all have our writing styles and if you find my style as repetitive, then well what can I say ! I am not worthy of your attention. However if you care to read my posts you will see that there are posts on varied topics—-where there is no sarcasm and no Bollywood. There are blogs on American work ethics as seen through a night at a Greyhound station, missionary activities during the Tsunami, self-flagellating champagne socialists, reflections on visiting Kolkata during the Pujas after a long time ,sadness at losing old friends as we grow older and reflections on becoming 30.

    As to not agreeing with people who have a different opinion…ahem. This is one blog where you *actually* get to air contrary opinions (whereas many blogs disable comments or enable comment moderation)—you are immensely naive if I think that I shall be changing my opinions fundamentally on reading a few comments—have any of my posts changed your opinion about anything? So why should your comments change mine? On reading this explanation, will you suddenly start calling me multi-dimensional? I dont think so….so why expect me to do what you yourself cannot.

    Lack real content :So far your posts have mainly dealt with imitations of Mithun-da & bappi-da,saurav bashers,raging hormones kinda subjects..very litle of anything else

    Well again read my archived posts. And my post on reservations which was considered worthy to be discussed by people like Nitin Pai and Gaurav.


    Pro-Bengali : I never implied that you were anti-anything.
    However, my opinion was based on posts that showed your take on the Saurav saga.Also,I see about 70-80% of bengalis responding to your posts , which is not a bad thing,but maybe your blog does not appeal to more people (?)..

    Many of my posts are about Calcutta and experiences there—so yes it is natural that a lot of Bengalis will empathize with the feelings in the post. However if you feel that 70%/80% of my commenters are Bengali…and that of the 1000 odd visitors I have had everyday for the last week 800 were Bengalis–well then ahem. I guess I should not say anything more.

    Excluding anons..a fast count.

    Non-Bong commenters on this post: 14

    Bong:9

    70-80%??

  19. @anon:

    1) One – Dimensional : Your sarcasm and acerbity comes through in almost every post.You take a subject,parody it and well, thats that.This Durell-esque writing style can get boring sometimes…I also sense a bit of bombastic attitude in all your posts.You rarely seem to agree with anyone who has a different opinion (as I am sure you will with me)

    I cannot take names anymore but I wish I could direct you to one l. blog published by WordPress ….to show what condescending and bombastic attitude is. My point is if you go through the archives of this blog, you will find lots of visceral comments directed against GB. If he was such a snooty person, he would have simply turned off comments, which he didnt do. So when you say that he doesnt ever look at different opinion, you are clearly wrong. Its an impression that you get. In fact …again I cannot take names, but lots of prominent bloggers are actually people who take it as an offense if you disagree with them and point you to various kinds of cooked up errors.

    2> Lack real content :So far your posts have mainly dealt with imitations of Mithun-da & bappi-da,saurav bashers,raging hormones kinda subjects..very litle of anything else.

    Say from tomorrow I write a blog. Ill point to all best articles of the Economist, WSJ, AlDaily and NYT. I will discuss Satre, Freud and write in a very esoteric language. Ill add 1 line to each excerpt and then say….read here.

    You think that my blog will be better than GB’s? No cuz you read NYT and others every single day. IMO a blog should be a complement to a mainstream media , not try to act as one. There are also subtle messages behind Bappi da posts. Alice in Wonderland is more than a little girl and a tea party.

    Also lately, GB has mixed 1/2 serios posts with humorous ones. But say if someday GB starts writing in Nitin Pai language talking about foreign policy…people wil say wtf. There are a lot of issues discussed here but in funnny way which probably makes GB appear frivolous. But several serious issues were discusssed like caste reservation etc. Also dont forget, the USP of this blog is humour.

    3> Pro-Bengali : I never implied that you were anti-anything.
    However, my opinion was based on posts that showed your take on the Saurav saga.Also,I see about 70-80% of bengalis responding to your posts , which is not a bad thing,but maybe your blog does not appeal to more people (?)..

    See being born and brought up in Kolkata he can write on the mutton biryani of Siraj better than the Mysore Pak and bisibele bath of Bangalore. But mostly his themes are universal. Ill also tell you that there are a lot of people in Kolkata (like my dad) who dont want Saurav in the team. There are lots of non-Bengalis who want Saurav in the side (check out Worma of Prem Panix). So Bengali and hence supporting Saurav is a wrong generlization. This Saurav bashing has often led to Bengal bashing and these led to GB’s posts.

    So please read his blog as if you are reading an Indian blog. Somehow if you think Bengali before Indian and think of us as Burmese, you will always get that feeling.

    Im sure that you’d also appreciate that GB addressed your deprecatory comment instead of ignoring it..that not the sign of a bombastic person.

    The other anon who said” u sound like another useless opinianted bong git” …..would have said that your comment is commendable if you mentioned your own ethnicity…its very fun you know when you say…those psudo intellectuals..etc…true very true…and fun too..but why does the fun stop and the smile on the faces disappear when a bengali points at your ethnicity…and makes a snide….or even returns an abuse with another abuse…hmm..not fair you know.

  20. But you forgot the voice message left at your cell.

    Jyoti Basu: Eta ki kore holo, Arnab? How could this happen? Laloo can lose Bihar, Jeb Bush may lose Florida, but we don’t lose an election ..never ever. Didn’t Buddha email Debu the updated voter IP list the night before? Buddha can never manage this computer thingie. Maybe Debu was bribed by that Varma. Between us, I could never truse those prabasi bongs living in other states. They are not real bongs … you see. Chandan always said American bongs were much better and I think he is right. Jai hok,I am taking this personally and we can not let this happen again. I will order Subhash to get a free laptop for everyone in Nadia. Anyone crossing the border from Bangladesh will get two free laptops. I am sure Buddha can convince a Japanese to put some yen into it. Just let us know which checkbox to click and all of them will vote twice. Al Gore may have invented internet, but I invented “scientific rigging”. How can I let the great bong lose an Internet vote? Never again..

  21. because of time constraints, I am exercising considerable discretion when it comes to reading blogs. Yours is one of the very few I make a point to visit every day, and on most days multiple times to check comments, etc.
    The reason for this is very simple: you have originality that very few people writing blogs have. On top of that you have a super writing skills. And the cherry on top is your wit, and the ability to continuously churn these delectable pieces.
    That in my mind is a deadly combination. I just hope you don’t get to a stage where your (professional) work disallows you the bandwidth to blog, or the “pressure” to live up to the expectations of your readers impacts quality.

    Happy blogging!!

  22. Arnab,

    Excellent Post Mate. Finished all your archives and really like your style. Good Show. And the Parnab thing was too good…May You Win Next Time..I personally read Rashmi’s, Gaurav’s,Amits and ur blogs..So for me, u ppl are the winners… !!!Too bad they didnt have a separate category for humour..Or is it conspiracy ny the cartel to keep you from winning 🙂

    Also, about yourfan2’s comments about Amit’s blogs..Me think Amit has a certain style and Arnab has one..So no point in comparing them..This whole voting was a fun thing and no need to be extremely critical about it..

    And this is in relation to some of the critical comments on Dada. If tackling social issues (Reservations and other Pak related stuff) ,cinema (B/Hollywood and Bengali films), sports(Cricket) is called one-dimensional, then its great that greatbong is uni-dimensional..And I think you need to appreciate his takes on various issues..
    I dont agree with all his views on cricket but it dosent take away the fact that Arnab writes more passionately than most of the other ppl..As for his Bengali hangover, well he is a greatbong , isnt it 🙂
    I wouldnt be reading this post if he posted something about Tamil Nadu or J&K coz he is not originally from there and he has not much idea about whats gng on there..
    And about only Bengali visitors, I am a Kannadiga who resides in Mumbai..So door door tak kisi Bengali se koi rishta nahin hain..

    Cheers,
    HP

    PS : Dada, Do we get a post on Pakistani Crciketers soon…I think there is a lot of scope on commenting on them..

  23. Cht… Cht… Ahaaa! The true Parnab act… If you’ve met him, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Hilarious post.
    Guru, thats what you are! (dandwat pranam!)

  24. hehehe I just loved those 30 seconds jokes on Sourav & Raj-Dung (cowdung anybody?!)

    Had it not been for excellent humor and tasteful writing though, you would sound so obnoxiously suffering from anti-bengali paranoia. 😛

    Keep up the good work!

  25. Hey Arnab,
    You got a real cool blog.
    A award won or lost makes no sense. Whats important is that your blog is brilliantly written and humorous– something which most blogs are not.
    Cheers!!

  26. GB
    This is all bogus. There needs to be a recount. If Dada could make it in the Indian team thru the backdoor, there is hope after all. I demand a recount, before they start burning effigies of Amit Varma in Calcutta.

    Hehheheheheh…awards to hell be gone, you rock dude.

    Sourin

  27. Good speech there. Was wonedring what would have Mamata di said if she would have called you?

    Sorry to know that you didnt win the ‘coveted’ prize. But do preserve the slogan for next time.

    BTW, the latest news around is you lost because of the CIA…well err…because of ISI….hmmm well actually because of the anti-outsourcing sentiment…or was it..9/11……Osama….Iraq….palestine……Greatbong losing…..

    Oops did I come a full circle there 😦

    Greatbong from Bongland…….
    Kadam Kadam Badaye Jaa
    Khushi Ke Geet Gaye Jaa

  28. OMG! ROTFLMAO. That is one hilarious one. Who says you are a loser. You just won everyone hearts just as Mithunda does even though his movies flop. Hmm! That wasn’t quite the analogy I intended. Well! you know what I meant. Phone call with Bappi da
    is the best I have heard in recent times. From now on I am doing away the bong in “The GreatBong” while referring to you.

  29. Hi Greatbong
    India Uncut would have been nearly impossible to beat but your showing was really impressive. If there had been a humor category, you would have won easily.

  30. @Suyog: Remind me to put some embedded advertisements in “Chingari”—though it may be too late. (Chingari is Prabhuji’s next release)

    @yourfan2: Yes do mail me. That would be nice.

    @Dipanjan: Point. If only Jyoti Babu would have mastered the subtle art of electronic boothcapturing I would be sporting the winners logo right now.

    @Bonatellis: I also hope that it doesnt happen. Meanwhile do appreciate your regular visits to this part of the town.

    @Avik: I do want my blogs to be eternal but that….:-)

    @Anand: Thank you thank you

    @HP: A post on Pakistani cricketers—hmmm let’s see…thanks for the suggestion. The more I think about it the more I like it.

    @Mobius: Leke hi to baitha hoon yaar.

    @Charu: Again thank you…my aim has always been to make people fall from chairs.

    @Shivangi: I am amazed to see so many recovering Parnabites on the Net. Not only have I not met him I have had the fortune of sitting once on his quiz team and I have also seen him in his shorts when he was a school kid —images I would like to forget. He was Parnab-da to us then too.

    @Anon: As in me being an anti-Bengali ! Oh wow that would make my day. You noticed ? The fact that 80% (yes 80%) of my humor is targeted at Bongs and yet I am dubbed as pro-Bong.

    @Ashish: Thank you. I truly do mean it when I say that seeing my comments section full is the best award I can get—and hopefully I shall keep doing so day after day.

    @Chappan: As we speak, effigies of Omit Borma are being burnt.

    @Ashit: I lost because Sonia is tapping my phone.

    @Rudro: Yes I am keeping it up as best as I can.

    @Gvenum: Whatever you do, do vote for me the next time round 🙂

    @Sunil: But did you, after laughing, get up and do the Mithun shuffle? That would have salvaged your prime immediately.

    @Anon: Thank you anon. Between ourselves, I prefer coming second in a fight with Amit and the other heavyweight blogs —Megha, Gaurav , Sagnik , Dilip and Uma rather than win in a comedy category.

  31. oh my god.. i had to scroll for SO LONGGGGG all the way down to post this….lol

    i guess im one of those bloggers, that other bloggers would screw up their faces at and look me up and down and raise one eyebrow at…

    ….for not having a clue about all of this…

    just heard so much about you…i dont usually pop into blogs because of what people say…my blog has been my whole world all this time…am glad i dropped in here…

    YOURE CRAZY!! lol.. and i love it!:D

  32. Sorry to hear you missed the award. Don’t be bothered though. Your blog, i think is far superior, and much better than most of the nominations.

    Forget about such meaningless competition. These things are merely based on personal promotion and have little to do with the quality of blogs in general. This universal law can be associated to anything else. People will vote for people they know rather than recognize true ability….

  33. Oh, and for those stupid losers who claim this blog is one-dimensional, they’re just conservative pricks who can’t accept a bit of light hearted bantering and think that acerbic sarcasm should be banned by court.

    It is because of stupid losers as these that stuid blogs get selected, and exist for that matter.

    But they have a point in promoting the Bengali cause though….

  34. I have been reading and reading viewer’s comments. Long time ago I have already sent my comments on this voting.

    Anyway, congrats to Amit for getting the max vote. Nevertheless I have a question. Does any box office hit Bollywood movie which sells so many tickets compared to Satyajit Ray’s movies is better?

    I like to make another point. I dislike everything which is so formal, official, newsy and ‘thought provoking’. We already have tons of newspapers and magazines for that – we don’t need blogs in exactly that line. We lack subtle humor or any humor for that matter in our daily life. Next year the same organization should start ‘humorous blog of the year’ to encourage new approach thru humor.

  35. Youfan, I couldn’t agree with you more. But unfortunately, people who hold these ‘elections’ are mostly prudes who go red in the face if you insult someone. Not that insults are the only way of conveying humor…..

  36. @Pip Squeak: Thank you for supporting my view. I really believe that a vast majority of our society lacks the ability to understand and appreciate subtle humor. I believe that majority of the people over here are too uptight people who can’t laugh at themselves and find insults in anything and everything.

  37. Amit Varma may be the winner but I find him boring. Arnab, is entertaining and original. That’s all I want to say.

    PS. There’s no need for GB to get pseudo dipolomatic about my opinion about AV and start berating me as you did with yourfan2…editing out the truth doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

    Cheers.

    PS. Jaiarjun Singh “original”?!

  38. Amit Varma may be the winner but I find him boring. Arnab, is entertaining and original. That’s all I want to say.

    PS. There’s no need for GB to get pseudo dipolomatic about my opinion about AV and start berating me as you did with yourfan2…editing out the truth doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

    PPS. Oh AND he doesn’t have comments enabled, the snooty so & so. So it’s not really a blog for the people at all. Shame so many voted, despite this fact.

  39. Amit deserved his win. But Arnab is equally deserving…maybe more regular, entertaining posts and who knows, next year’s award could be yours. Only thing that sometimes bugs me about Amit’s blog is the “no comments policy”, but I kinda like that about him, too! Either way, India Uncut deserves its first place as does RTDM its runner-up position. But please re-consider the blog name –you’re are neither demented nor are your posts random! A more original title would be appreciated…but love ya otherwise 🙂

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  41. BTW, Bongda…. I was checking out this famous opera theme (the one used in the Sicilian scene in Tarantino’s flick, True Love) and it turns out that it’s from an opera called “Lakme”. I googled it up and found that it was a derivation of the name “Lakshmi”, which is the eponymous tragic heroine of the story.
    Seems Pornob wasn’t pulling THAT one outta his a$$….

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