Teesri Aankh—the Hidden Camera

65 Comments

Hallelujah.

“Dirty Harry” Baweja is back with another socially-relevant scorcher that takes on the biggest problem India faces today.

Hidden cameras.

They are everywhere: in honeymoon suites, in women’s changing rooms, in toilets —shamelessly capturing, in a clandestine fashion, disrobed female bodies engaged in private acts.

As ACP Arjun (Sunny Deol) rues, in a heartbreaking sequence : “Kahaan chupayenge humare ma behenon ko?” (Where will we hide our mothers and sisters?)

Yes things are that bad.

After shouting down the Pakistani Army in “Gadar” and putting into body bags many enemies of the country, Sunny Deol is back in “Teesri Aankh–the Hidden Camera” with a single point mission—-to send the evil men trading in the honor of our mothers and sisters back to their makers.

And what evil men they are ! There is their leader Sudama Pande, a debauch who is always seen getting lap-dances from strippers (he runs a strip club which is always conducting “group-discussions”), played with undiluted avarice by Mukesh Rishi for whom this is but a continuation of his role as Bullah from Gunda. Yes the same guy whose motto was :” Mera naam hain Bullah, Raktha hoon main khulla” and who referred to his illegitimate child as “Mere haseena ka paseena”.

He also keeps on saying ” Don’t tell me the problem, tell me the solution” to his cohorts—which makes him sound suspiciously like your average PhD advisor.

Helping him in his nefarious activities are two evil friends—Dinesh and Dinesh (referred to as D&D) whose job it is to blackmail saxxy (as they pronounce it) models into making dirty movies all the while sprouting smart lines like : “Heyy babby, give me some pose”. This D&D would put Dumb and Dumber to shame—-I tell you.

Caught in their web of deceit and blackmail is Sunny Deol’s fiance –Neha Dhupia who had come to London as a contestant for the “Face of India” despite Sunny’s repeated remonstrations that such things are not suitable for “mothers and sisters”. Blackmailed into performing despicable acts (not shown in the movie alas), she is virtually a prisoner of these horrible men.

In this backdrop comes Sunny Deol to London to try to locate his missing fiance as well as to put the Sudamas out of business. Aided in his job by a mute hottie (Amisha Patel who in an inspired bit of direction does not open her mouth and essays her standard “deer caught in headlights” damsel in distress role to perfection) and a couple of clowns including a girl who does poledance karate (watch the movie to find out), ACP Arjun embarks on a mission of roaring rage and revenge, sure to strike terror into the hearts of nasty CD-creators worldwide.

Sunny Deol is in his elements in “Teesri Aankh”, a policeman who boasts “main uniform nahin pahenta” ( I do not wear uniform)— primal screams and flying fists and thundering public service messages punctuate his command performance. In an amazing scene, he kicks a moving jeep and it flies in the air—somersaulting away. And in another, two goondas come from either side driving their bikes trying to run the gallant Jat over. No such luck. In a move Neo of Matrix would give his right nut for, he lifts the two motorbikes in his hands and throws them back.

If there is one scene that defines this masterpiece, it is Sunny Deol telling a baddie, before he screws him over :

” Yeh sarkari danda hain” (This is the government’s stick).

Concluding, this is one movie you should watch with your third eye of knowledge. And as you all know, this eye is only activated once you keep your two eyes firmly closed.

[Site notice: 3 new banners are added: one Pakistan-themed, one based on the famous “Dayal Baba” and the other devoted to Prabhu-ji]

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65 thoughts on “Teesri Aankh—the Hidden Camera

  1. All this in what Sunny claims to be a guest appearance. Punjab da puttar, way to go!!! Great review though lol, makes me want to watch this sorry excuse for a movie.
    Btw, honoured to write the first comment 😀

  2. OFF TOPIC-
    What is Miandad doing on your “Pak a punch” banner ?

    I saw that kind of an expression on a guy’s face back during my hostel days. From that day, he made a point to lock the door first.

    Seriously, where is that pic from ?

  3. you know what I found most funny in the movie?the strippers performing pole dance, stripping upto their bikinis and suddenly they stop and walk away!! 🙂 , well, In US, the strippers start with bikinis!! ;). I saw this movie just for the fun of it as I knew its gonna be total crap..i guess for watching this movie, not only your 2 eyes, but eventhe brain has to be shut!!

  4. ‘Deer caught in Headlights’ is perfect to describe ‘Amasha’ Patel.
    A few days back Harry ‘Potter’ Baweja was giving an interview on TV and was exhorting the genius (a la Sushmita Sen’s in Chingaari) of Amasha Patel in essaying the ‘supremely difficult’ (Potter’s words) of a dumb girl in the film.
    By the way – how will we understand what indignities Sunny’s maa-behen are facing if they are not shown in the film ?

  5. I have actually seen this incredible work of art in a theatre. I think there were four other people in the hall.

    But the question that plagued me was not the physics of Sunny’s right-footed flick of the jeep (he has clearly taken tips from Beckham), but how Amisha Patel manages to stop her spine from breaking under strain.

  6. Dada,

    How do you manage to see such cine classics? Btw, I would love you see Sunny acting in a hindi “Kungfu Hustle” 🙂

    rgds.
    Kislay

  7. Ailaah… one question: Do you watch such movies WITHOUT ffwd??

    Hmm… I think this is prob my first comment here, so Hi! 😀

    And oh yeah, at least he didn’t blow away a crowd of people just by shouting… 8-|

  8. Shame Shame! Who made this Teesri Aankh? Why was I not asked to play role of homo minister who worries about bar girls and falling clothes first and crime later? In the movie, I could have investigated tapes from the camera in toilets carefully. The I would have declared that they were not deliberately installed by the ‘tapee’. No need for all this Sunny Deol tamasha. He is very old now anyway, can’t even get his ‘gun’ to fire anymore. Maybe thats why they let him investigate ;-).

    If I am not given role next time I will throw producer and director in jail. Then I will put cameras in their cell to make tapes of them getting it in the behind. Finally I will post that video to this site. Such fun!

  9. LOL..

    I missed this masterpiece due to my exams.. Sigh.. But I highly recommend you to go watch – Saawan – the love season.. by Sawan Kumar Tak, starring Salman Khan..

    Salman khan can see the future and death and destruction in the movie.. and it is one movie no one should miss.. He looks so drunk that the movie’s title should have been “Aaya Saawan Jhoom Ke” hehehe

    And about your obsession with Mithun.. You are giving me complex.. Have you seen Teesra Kaun?

    Had fun reading it!

    Nirwa

  10. Awesome review man…. But I hope u didnt deed a ‘teesri kaan’, which is usually the case after sunny subtly points out the right path to all and sundry.

  11. Grt post as usual Greatbong.Revisited your blog after a looong time..made sure that i didn’t miss out a single post.Keep rocking!
    BTW, Prabhuji rocked in Chingaari ;-).Its a pity i havn’t been able to check out “Classic dance of love”.

    – A grt fan.

    P.N:Would love to hear ur thoughts on the ridiculous proposal by Arjun Singh to increase the reservation quota in central educational institutions.

  12. I refreshed several times but couldn’t see the Pakistani banner. 😦 Among the other two I loved the Mithun banner.

    I really cannot believe, even given the shocking hindi movies, that such a movie has come up. After reading the piece, I was left wondering if you were bluffing reagrding the movie. This is no ‘ullooo banaaya’ post though – a quick google search confirms it.

    You have marketed the movie far better than the movie directors – I want to watch it now!

  13. In “Arjun Pandit”, iirc, Sunny’s character tore off a man’s arm. That probably requires more strength than kicking a jeep or lifting a motorcycle; it’s definitely more gruesome. Kudos to Harry B for improving the standard of Sunny Deol scripts!

    Can’t see the banners. Should I file a PIL alleging discrimination?

    J.A.P.

  14. ROTFL, your reveiw makes one want to go and see this movie, but I am hoping good sense will prevail and one will keep clutching on to the last bit of sanity left 🙂

  15. YOURFAN writes:
    Your concept of an ‘average PhD advisor’ who says “Don’t tell me the problem, tell me the solution” and “group discussions” might make your thesis advisor (ex) wonder whether you are talking about him. If you wrote these lines before your PhD, then you would have been in real trouble!!!! Great post but honestly how can you sit thru this type of film and that too so attentively?

    @J.A.P: Thanks, file a PIL alleging discrimination because I also can’t see the banner.

  16. “deer caught in headlights” – AMAZING
    “Teesri Aankh—the Hidden Camera” – EVEN BETTER… ROTFLOL

    Just one question dada – How do you maintain your sanity after watching all of this?

  17. “poledance karate” whatever that is..
    “Dinesh and Dinesh” by anychance is Dinesh Suiting” or DD (ganjee o baniyaan fame)sponsoring the movie?

    @nandan: to understand Dayal Baba you got to understand the economics of banana plantation, hear it through your third ear and yes…follow the b-o-n-g language

  18. The defining Deol scene will be Gadar, where the man frightens away 10 men by lifting up a bicycle and screaming.. irrespective of the fact that all 10 men were armed. Brilliant.

  19. i had the misfortune to be born into a brahmo family where hindi fillums were an absolute no-no. but then reading was an absolute yes-yes.

    so, i didn’t see sharon stone but i read, er, the kamasutra( yaaaaawn)

    when i grew up, left the nest and the old birds behind, i thought i would love to immerse myself in forbidden pleasures. i make innumerable trips in passing a movie hall showing something as wholesome as ‘Tarzan- the wonder car’. but SOMETHING stops me (do psychiatrists read this blog?) from buying two tickets for me and my daughter.

    so, here i am, reading this blog and getting my pleasures vicariously.

    oh, i wanted to tell you that mithun is hosting a bengali version of the indian idol on zee bangla.

    pore man, most wooden faced (botox?) and mouthing platitudes to make you puke.

    but then my worse-half says that your hero is not being given any scope and the show has a lousy production team. as he knows these show-biz people i can almost believe him.

    and have you done a waaaaay back post on mithun and the dustbin baby? that was some story, that!

    that man knows how to manage the media alright.

  20. @J.Alfred Prufrock: The movie with the hand uprooting scene was Ziddi. Arjun Pandit also had radical violence scenes, but not this radical.

    But for the most radical action movie do not look beyond Rajkumar Kohli’s “Jaani Dushman — Ek Anokhi Kahani”
    That was something with sunny paaji, Akshay, Aditya Pancholi, Aftab Shivd. as COLLEGE friends with a pissed naag behind their b***s.
    You had scenes like a jeep breaking into two right down the middle when it tries to run into Akshay (Akshay is unhurt because he is wearing the “all religon inclusive” taabeez/necklace/maala), Armaan kohli (aka pissed snake) breaking into pieces but joining back ala Terminator 2, Akshay kumar shooting through a pistol, then a machine gun and then a bazooka all of which he had stored in a back pack (wonder how he got this variety of weaponry and how the hell) but to no avail as snakeji does a matrix this time. If there is any movie wih better action than this, please tell (these do not include prabhuji movies as they are in a differant league).

  21. **Akshay kumar shooting through a pistol, then a machine gun and then a bazooka all of which he had stored in a back pack (wonder how he got this variety of weaponry and how the hell DID HE NOT GET A HERNIA CARRYING THE IMMENSE LOAD ON HIS BACK)**

  22. He also keeps on saying ” Don’t tell me the problem, tell me the solution” to his cohorts—which makes him sound suspiciously like your average PhD advisor.

    RFLOL !!! IMO – The best line in the review. Also, finally a topic we can all agree on !

  23. Phd advisor& deer ….superb!
    want to see this one for the action polekarate included , but am scared .
    evryone cant be greatbong to shudder and puke alternately yet sit thro the movie.
    am learning though, sat thro MImoh and Mithun interview yday..whole 10 mins!

  24. Well-written review of a fantastic movie. Will try to see this week. And will write a letter to Science for updation of Newton’s Laws.

  25. “Mera naam hain Bullah, Raktha hoon main khulla”

    Since you obviously do not live in Delhi and thus have no access to Palika Bazaar, the home of film noir, where do you find movies with such prolific gems?

    Come on give share a ppv/googlevideo link!

    You rock man! With your uproarious reviews, you are the Jerry Springer of desi cult movies!

  26. Hi

    ” Don’t tell me the problem, tell me the solution” – ROTFL

    Gr8 review. Why can’t we have such reviews in mainstream media. I bow down to you for being able to sit through such movies & then write such awesome posts!!

    Cheers!!

  27. “he kicks a moving jeep and it flies in the air—somersaulting away. And in another, two goondas come from either side driving their bikes trying to run the gallant Jat over. No such luck. In a move Neo of Matrix would give his right nut for, he lifts the two motorbikes in his hands and throws them back.”

    – THIS alone will be worth the price of my ticket! I can’t wait to download this one and take a look at this pronto. I love Sunny Hamming Deol hehehe 😀

    Great revie on this movie!

    Suyog

  28. “Average PhD advisor”- hope RC aint reading this. 🙂 Great review. By the way, Sallu in jail for 5 years…food for thought for next post? Now I must see this movie.

  29. Arnab, how can you make fun of genius of Dayal Baba? It takes supreme self-confidence to strut around in a dhoti and bare torso with makeup that’s cross between chaplin and the village bum with gyrations that would put govinda to shame. Meanwhile I am retiring to stone ages where Bangla lyrics had no references to kola, kola gaach and pola and sounded more like” Ei Poth Jodi na shesh hoye”.

  30. great review. Though I am amazed at how you can actually watch all these strange films!! The star cast ( read: Amisha Patel) is enough to keep me away from watching it!! And after all the reviews I am reading on diff blogs..I just wont!

  31. He also keeps on saying ” Don’t tell me the problem, tell me the solution” to his cohorts—which makes him sound suspiciously like your average PhD advisor.

    You nailed it.

  32. And did you notice how the pole dance karate girl wears the same clothes throughout the movie?
    And was not the sequence which had Aarti Chhabria’s husband on the verge of making out with the actress with the too-big-for-her-body head absolutely crucial for the film’s plot to be held together?

  33. Your concept of “Average phd advisor” brought tears in my eyes………There is someone on this earth who understands my plight.

    “Deer caught in headlight” – couldn’t have been more perfect.

    btw, i saw titles on your banners. I may not have noticed it before. But I think, it kills the charm of the banner. It’s just my opinion. But I feel, without titles, they had a greater impact..

  34. @dhananjay – Aaha finally remembered the movie name thanks to you. A bunch of my disgruntled school friends had referred the movie “Jaani Dushman” to me saying that it is the best movie they have ever seen. Once I saw it, I literally went into a coma for a few hours… Those @#$%?. Now I have a movie to refer back to them 🙂

    @ Arnab: Very very funny. Arnab da.. Had me rolling on the floor at work

  35. It was a most hilarious review Arnabda. I’ll try to watch the movie now. 🙂

    And your banners are absolutely stunning. I fancy myself to be a bit of a blogging Eklavya with you as Dronacharya… and I also created randomly changing banners on my blog page. But these random number generators have a demented mind it seems… I had to refresh your blog around 30 times to see the two new banners, and ended up seeing a 3rd one on Mithunda: The only God. And thanks for the Dayal baba link too! 🙂

  36. Speaking of banners, I think “Control Yarrrr” has to be the best – the expression on that fat man’s face (what’s his name?) is priceless! Bandh Karo and Fun-da-mental are also nice.

  37. In a move Neo of Matrix would give his right nut for, he lifts the two motorbikes in his hands and throws them back.

    Then you did not see ‘ The One ‘ starring Jet Li. He picks up two cop mobikes and smashes a cop between them and throws both of them to the opposite ends.

    Though that was a sci-fi flick and Jet Li is rubber-bodied, 5 times Wushu (not Kung Fu, this the gymnastic version) Champion and an expert in Tai Chi (watch ‘The Tai Chi Master’ for his excellent rendition of Tai Chi).

    This is a so-called real life social situation and Sunny Deol is an obese, wrinkled-skin and loaded hunk who can’t even stand straight properly and thinks he is quite a hero. And we are happy to worship him. The action sequences in all his films are crude, savage, neither artistic nor decent with shrieks, shouts, cracking of skulls & twisting ligaments( Khel, where he once again plays the moral cop), flying tubewells……. The less said about his acting, the better.

  38. @Radhika: Guest appearance it surely is not.

    @Nandan: Just watch the linked video. Some of the appeal is lost in translation—but the dance is a pure delight.

    @Anon: Miandad is a Pakistani right ? Found that somewhere on the Net—and God knows what he is doing 😉

    @Vikas: Just like the stippers in kaante who never actually strip.

    @Soham: I felt the same way too—surely a little could have been shown artistically of course.

    @G9: Maybe because she is mm spineless. (She dates Mukesh Bhatt)

    @HP: Good to know that.

    @Kislay: My good luck I guess.

    @Ritesh: Keep reloading.

    @Triya: I watch it streaming on Bollygrounds—no fwd no rewind….only pure njoy…

    @R Patil: The High Court has found the ban on bar girls unconstitutional dear sir…please do something.

    @Nirwa: Sounded like a copy of “Life or Something Like it”

    @Rahul: 🙂

    @Binesh: Prabhu-ji always rocks. Always.

    @Pratyush: Even in my wildest “ullu”ing mood I would never be able to conceive of such stuff.

    @ JAP: Reload saar reload saar.

    @Kusum: Do see the movie…such great works of art ought to be encouraged.

    @Yourfan: My advisor is still my boss at my new company ! And yes I actually love such movies—-unintentional humor is awesome.

    @jEDI: Watch Aarti Chabbria do it. Please do.

    @Pratyush: 🙂

    @Vivek: Simple. I don’t maintain it.

    @Hutum: See it to understand it.

    @SEV: “The screaming of Sunny Deol makes the blood of tigers run cold”
    Old jungle proverb

    @Swati: Mithun-da doing Indian Idol…Aiyeee salaaaaaaaa…….eta naacch hocche…

    @Dhananjay: Shall come up with a review of this gem sometime soon.

    @Bongopondit: Amen.

    @Varsha: Mimoh….that guy has got talent. I am so waiting for his debut.

    @Anirban: This is quantum stuff man…..

    @Mukul: Aha wrong ! My wife is from Delhi and when she went to India to attend her brothers wedding in 2005, I just wanted one thing from India (okay more than one)—-Gunda ! She got it from Pallika Bazar and it is the one kickass movie.

    @Shri: Thank you…

    @Aditya: You can say that again.

    @Suyog: Worth every MB of bandwidth—I tell ya.

    @yourfan2: I hope not too ! 🙂

    @Shreemoyee: Where have I made fun of him? He is great—our desi Jackson minor the kiddie stuff.

    @Chandni: I have a masochistic trait in me.

    @Anil: And so I did.

    @Sanketh, deBoLin: Thank you..

    @Teleute: Extremely important for the character development of the loose-character guy. And she wears the same clothes throughout the movie—no I didnt notice that: wonder where I was looking.

    @Kandarp: That is Amisha’s stock expression ever since KNPH.

    @Arun: 🙂

    @Joy Forever: Dayal Baba rocks.

    @Mohan: Thanks

    @Varsha: Rediff once published a few of them when they invited readers reviews. I sent them a few more till I realized they wont publish.

    @Chandril: But he is our Punjab da puttar….

    @Bonatellis: Send her back to the silent age.

    @Keshav: Thanks…

    @Dwaipayan: Curiosity killed the…you know the rest.

  39. For “Dayal Baba”. I did not understand a word of the song but I really liked the attitude of that guy. Bande ne dil se dance kiya.

  40. Dude, you forgot to mention the punchline on the posters of Teesri Aankh – “Its not about mythology, its about technology”. Whoever came up with that line must be a genius!

  41. Haw Haw! I have seen this movie and was rolling on the floor laughing hysterically… so much that the wife had to splash me with water. And then turn the TV off.
    The scene where D&D are searching for mute Patel (after killing Dhupia) on the terrace remains etched in memory. She makes all possibles noises, yet gets away. Wah ri wah!

  42. How could you miss out on the greatest dialogue in the movie…………..’Arre! Pagli, Un gundon ki paunch upar tak hain to tumahare aasuon ki paunch uparwalle tak hain” [Hey! mad gal! If the gundaz can reach the top notch guys, ur tears’ reach is godz]…..

  43. Arnab, you know about Dayal Baba ???? My gawd ..he’s a craze out here …from nowhere ..and now has a cult following …

  44. Hey Defective people: The song Sharabiyon by Asha B… too gooooooood i love her so much. N the role of sunny is q.good. Neha Dupia too sexy n i wanna fuck her day n night. So Amisha Patel her role not bad, 1 exception when she was beated her reaction must be too scare. But a sample noise of Amisha quit her role. Hari Om Tatsa.

  45. Pingback: Love Story 2050—the Review at Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind

  46. Pingback: Great Bong on Love Story 2050 : NAACHGAANA

  47. haha ROFLMAO! I was directed here by a link on your “Love Story 2050” review page …. a great review making a mince-meat of a shoddy film! when will bollywood learn??!!

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