Love Story 2050—the Review

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Mumbai 2050.

A sinister extra-constitutional  figure (as QT, the femmebot, says “wo itna powerful ki sarkaar bhi usse koi sawaal naheen kartee”  [he is so powerful that even the government dare not ask him questions]) whose voice bears some resemblance to Darth Vader rules the city. (The movie does not say whether he was an ex-cartoonist).

He is helped in his sinister designs by an exclusive personal army of tube-light wielding droids who have a dislike for “outsiders”.

The menial labor is being done by robots who speak Bhojpuri, in the process betraying their roots, when they wish to communicate a secret.

Yep. The future in Mumbai sure looks much like its present.

Anu Malik still recycles music from the likes of Beyonce and lyrics are as profound as “Hey you lover boy, will you be my toy?”

And the cityscape is an eclectic collection of “concepts” you have seen before in Bicentennial Man,  I Robot, Minority Report, Sixth Element and Star Wars.

Welcome to Harry Baweja’s truly original and imaginative “Love Story 2050” —yes the same Harry Baweja’s whose genius last gave us Teesri Aankh, the Hidden camera (which had two of my favorite dialogs “abh kahaan chupayenge humare ma behenon ko”and “yeh sarkari danda hain”). While his previous movies had been trend-setters in their own right with their bold handling of themes like the proliferation of hidden cameras (Teesri Aankh), lecherous politicians with X-ray vision (Karz), patriotism (Diljale),  bio-terrorism and the dangers of Sanjay Kapoor (Qayamat: City Under Threat) “Love Story 2050” is in a different league altogether—being at once a genre-bender (blending supreme sci-fi  with Mills and Boons romance replete with diaries, butterflies and overall pinkiness) as also as an elaborately constructed launch vehicle for his son, Harman Baweja.

Watching “Love Story 2050” is an amazing, multi-layered experience. At one level, you are watching an elaborate advertisement for “targeted”  products like Xbox 360, Panasonic, Ceat Tyres, Lux, TATA Indicom, Lawman etc placed “in movie” with Sunny Deolian subtlety never seen since “Yaadein” . On another level, you feel as if you are, like a voyeur, getting an exclusive butterfly-eye view of the actual love story of Priyanka Chopra and “Her Man” Baweja as they exchange sweet words of sugary nothingness .[Not that they are officially a couple as Priyanka Chopra keeps saying that she and Baweja are only “friends” though Harman Baweja tries his level best to get across the message, overtly and covertly, that he and Ms. Chopra are, using Bollywood lingo, an item.]

And  on yet another level, you are actually watching a masterful tour d’force of an acting performance from Harman Baweja.

No I do not mean his playing the character of  Karan,the lover boy who follows butterflies, speaks to his dead mother and whose middle name, like Austin Powers, is danger.

Rather I am talking about the “role inside a role”—-Harman Baweja’s brilliant portrayal of Hrithik Roshan.

Had it not been for the insane plot, Boman Irani’s overacting , his slapping the fembot QT on the bottom and the standard presence of over-precocious toons, Love Story 2050 could very well have been a biopic of Hrithik Roshan. If Jamie Foxx won the Oscars for becoming “Ray” in the movie based on the life of Ray Charles, Herman deserves no less for his uncanny portrayal of Hrithik Roshan in a movie that has more than a bit of thematic resemblance to Roshan’s debut movie “Kaho Na Pyar Hain”. From the dance steps to the hairstyle to his sartorial style to the smile and to the inflection of voice (the only thing that doesn’t match is unfortunately the “face” and that too not because of any lack of effort on Harman’s part), Harman’s portrayal is so spot on as to be positively disquieting.

I used to think that the duplicate of Shatrughan Sinha who reportedly cut his cheek to resemble his hero, was the height of creepiness.

After seeing Hanuman sorry Harman aping Hrithik, I realize I was wrong.

Mention must also be made of the brilliant dialogs —-a pink teddy robot Boo while going to fetch “blue tea” saying in supremely accented fashion: “Boo Tee (booty) kahaan hain” and Harman Baweja’s deeply Freudian message to Priyanka Chopra: “Tumhara life hain na, it’s like hotdog without a sausage” as also Priyanka Chopra’s finely nuanced portrayal of two very different characters—-cliched, madly-in-love uber-mushy girl and cliched, madly-in-love uber-mushy girl with red hair.

In conclusion, I can do no better than to paraphrase a few lines from songs of Harry Baweja’s creations to sum up my assessment of Harman’s debut flick.

Love Story 2050  is a “tere dimaag main aapni asaar chod jayega” (Imtihaan), a “ho naheen sakta” (Diljale) and a “kudrat ne banaya hoga fursat se” (Dilwale)-type movie, a searing cinematic achievement and a  true “Winkie Dinks” (name of a pink talking glove in the film) among Baweja classics.

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53 thoughts on “Love Story 2050—the Review

  1. ….the only thing probably missing from the movie was probably taking a leaf out of the book of the Bhojpuri stalwart, Guddu Rangeela’s futuristic composition – “Ghaghra utha de remote se….”

  2. Isn’t it the other way around? Ms. Priyanka raazi, par mukar raha hai Qazi. Apparently Harman’s the one who comes up with the pat “just good friends” line in every interview. Perhaps he doesn’t want to be the next Kelly Dorji or Vivek Oberoi.

    It’s funny, but Harman’s Hrithik obsession must be blatantly obvious. Mayank Shekhar says pretty much the same thing about him playing Roshan to a T in the film in his Mumbai Mirror review.

  3. Pingback: Great Bong on Love Story 2050 : NAACHGAANA

  4. Hmm…so shall I watch the movie or not? You seem to be really awed by the newcomer!

    And why do you have 20:17 aspect ratio for the pic? Don’t you think the original ratio would have done better?

  5. “The movie does not say whether he was an ex-cartoonist” …. awesome!

    @Pranab Roy – good one yaar. Shakti, indeed! 🙂

  6. pathetic film …

    why why why why arnabda ..did u subject this to yourself ?

    Errr…. one Q ..
    would like to know your opinion of Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na …
    do watch it soon and blog abt it pls

  7. with a daddy like his, haram baweja’s movies do not need a plot, story telling or any of the other things a movie requires. GB, from the review it seems before we walk into a theater to watch this movie we need to leave behind our cerebrum……

  8. Harry is already working on a sequel for the year 2150. The climax scene has been shot – “Herman (with a loin-cloth) rides a bullock cart with his lady-love behind (clothed only where required by Dev-Anand) down a desolate sandy beach. He comes upon a large rock and glaces up at it in horror. He curses, gets off the bullock and walk up to the rock, in the process stepping and glancing on a rusted board with the almost faded words “Juhu Speshal Bhel’ on it. He looks up at the broken, sunk in the sand statue jutting a 500 feet out of the ground – the form of a Horse’s front legs in the air, with a bearded man riding it, holding a now broken sword high over his head. Herman slowly shakes is head, unable to comprehend this sudden enlightenment. He walks closer to the massive statue, realizing that it was far bigger than he thought, as a significant portion of it is buried under the sand. He comes close and looks up with a detached sense of scrutiny and blank look much like when he hasnt been given his dialogues. Suddenly he sees something which causes him to shake his head violently. He breaks down, falls on the sand and cries like a madman – punching what he has seen with his fists and crying out “No! No!”

    What is it? What has he seen?

    Right at the point where the rider’s behind disappears in the sand is a door made of ivory and a sign beside it in gold – “Antilla. Floor 63. Mukes Bhai’s private bedroom #9072”

    Ah Harry! Where is thy oscar?

  9. “bio-terrorism and the dangers of Sanjay Kapoor”
    True gem !
    BTW give that guy some credit for trying different.
    Why is that when anyone from bollywood tries a sci-fi that person is hammered, not even a consolation price is given.
    Sci-fi in lot of hollywood movies are also inspired from other movies or sc-fi books.

  10. “Boo Tee (booty) kahaan hain” Very funy…
    Nice review bongo…

    I saw ” Don Muthuswami ” Prabhuji really rocks in that movie…
    pls review that movie for the sheer love of prabhji….

    waiting eagerly for that review…

    Thanks,
    Tarzan

  11. ROFL!
    Dude, once again, the review was much more entertaining than apparently what the movie is!

    I have not seen the movie yet, but will surely do after reading your review with a new perspective!!!

    ‘Her Man’ Baweja 🙂

  12. And yeah, I agree with Sam. Indian movies have a dearth of sci fiction movies, we should give harry baweja some credit to at least try that genre.

  13. “Hormone” Baweja lacks maturity as is evident from his antics…no wonder his name can be jumbled into ” A raw-bheja Man”

  14. Great post as usual…and I think you meant “Fifth Element”, the Bruce Willis-flying-cab-girl in a scotch tape dress movie, and not the life of a surfer documentary that sixth element was…

  15. Very well written review GB, only you can write like this.

    The film is aptly named as 2050, Harman can learn acting at least by that time. He couldn’t even manage an extra’s role without his father’s support. He looks so ugly. The other film Jane tu…. is obviously a hit because it is a remake of a South Indian movie. Creativity in Bollywood has long been dead.

  16. some people are complaining that movies like this are a waste of money.

    i dont see how if they result in such brilliant pieces of writing like a Greatbong review.

  17. GUYS KISHORE IS BACK… & HE IS TALKING SOUTH INDIA AGAIN

    I am so happy for you kishore..
    Tell me master, what else do u have to offer us ??

    BTW about the movie, uhhhh…..& ya, Jaane Tu was really good..

  18. @ kishore:

    infact creativity in bollywood was never there, either it was a North indian idea or an east indian creativity, sometimes west and sometimes south, right?? Bollywood is a(n) (H)empty vessel.. full of NESW creativity never its own..

  19. That settles it. I am not watching any Hindi movies anymore.

    Arnab’s reviews are so terrific, they make watching the actual movie boring. 🙂

    Plus, Arnab doesn’t charge any money for his reviews. These boring movies dig a deep hole in my pocket.

  20. So next time if Hritik bags a Filmfare he can do a Steve Jobs on the dias and yell,

    “Harmon(d), get your copiers ready” 😀

  21. I don’t know how you managed to survive through the movie…good for us, you came up with a funny post. I got the chance to watch this movie yesterday (online) and I could not take it for even an hour.
    Nice post!

  22. Great movie review – you all but buried Herman Baweja and his father! …. Man! The guy really is creepily similar to Hrithik Roshan and there is harldy any originality to him. The movie’s plot of a love story in the future is also so god-damned recycled!

    When will Bollywood chuck recycling old ideas and hashing 5 movies in one and keep making uber senti mush flicks! *Sigh*

    Anyways, great review as usual – was worth stopping by and readin it up – will give the movie a miss though 😉

  23. Thanks a lot for the post! The trailers on tv had been irritating me to death for quite sometime and I deserved something good for enduring such torture!

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  25. let d people say wqat they wanna say but according 2 me,HERMAN my sweety is d best.i dnt care of othrs.he is my most faivrt……..

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