When I die, would this be what people will say about me?
His known weakness was for good food, which made him overweight and diabetic.
[FYI: I am not diabetic]
Will gmail be in such an obscene hurry to recycle my mail space that within hours of my death, this would happen?
His e-mail was firstname.lastname@example.org, which will be defunct from today.
Won’t anyone have the decency to forward my mails from my defunct account to email@example.com so that I can read my spam from Dante’s second circle of Hell while listening to “Jhalak Dikh Lajaaa“? Won’t anyone have the decency to not call me overweight once my soul has left my defunct body?
Will my email reading habits be made public knowledge like Bibek Maitra’s?
Bibek Maitra always asked his friends to forward him e-mails on terrorism, China, the Indo-US nuclear issue etc.
Only in my case it will be “forward him e-mails with pictures of Payal Rohatgi, Mumait Khan and Jessica Simpson”.
Will my mobile number be made public so that people can call it to inconvenience me by ringing my cell at a time when my full concentration is devoted in holding on to the tail of the cow whose job it is to take me across the river of blood?
The New Delhi police has released three telephone numbers from where Moitra received calls just before his death on his mobile phone (9811068282).
Though I don’t know the answers to these questions what I can say after reading this howler of an “obituary” by Sheela Bhatt about Bibek Maitra, is this:
‘That rediff.com be not told of my death,
Or made to grieve on account of me,
And that I not have my obituary written by Sheela Bhatt,
And that I not be called overweight ,
And that my email address not be made defunct within hours of my death,
And that my email forwarding habits are not revealed,
And that no man remember me,
And kindly ignore the line before this,
To this I put my name.’
Inspired by Thomas Hardy.