[This post has some video clips (each less than 2 minutes) I uploaded to Youtube. You need to keep “sound on” to appreciate them to the fullest extent]
Agar tujhe halwa khana hain, to tujhe dance karna parega. Dance dance.
–Dance Dance
I love dance. Indian movie dance specifically, not the ta-thaiiya classical stuff. I am way too much of a Philistine to understand the subtle interplay between Abhinaya, Laya and Ang. Accepted.
But of late I have become jaded by the endless stream of remixes, item numbers and special appearances all of which feature girls who are virtually indistinguishable from each other, possessing unrealistic curves, wearing little more than lingerie dancing under flashing lights or pouring rain.
Jaded yes. By the mind-numbing predictability. And by the sheer disconnect the moves of the dancers have with those of real-life folk —you, me, Sujata auntie and Probir uncle.
Putting it in another way, what I want more of is real life people and their real-life dance steps captured on celluloid so that I can turn to my date and say “Hey I can do that.” So here I present a few short video clips of the way I think dance numbers should be done. Watch and learn.
Exhibit 1. Watch this video clip I have uploaded (49 seconds) of a few hot neighbourhood hunks, the ones who engage in persistent negotiation during Kali Puja subscription drives, boogie-woogie. Note the way they let the music flow through them as they slowly increase the tempo of their gyrations, thrust their bottoms in an age-old mating ritual while keeping the red shirt firmly tucked in. This is what I am talking about—grace and sexiness in our daily lives.
Exhibit 2. It’s tough being a geek. Horrible fashion sense, patch of vegetation coming out of right ear, a set of shades your granddad would consider unfashionable. And then in the party you meet a hottie. She wants you to dance and hopefully make babies with her later. What do you do? Well something like this guy does in this video (42 seconds)—the cool stud in the black-rimmed spectacles who belts out the ultimate geek dance move—-the fly in the sky. Repeat this move on the dance floor at your own risk. You nev
er know with who or what you will wake up the next morning.
Exhibit 3. A disturbing trend in Bollywood has been to increasingly cater to the NRI crowd by making movies about extremely rich people, who live in palatial houses, wear designer clothes and whose only problem in life is love or the lack of it. But what of the proletariat, the ones who work for a living—who talks about their struggle to live? And most importantly who shows their dance moves? In this third video (59 seconds), I seek to correct this imbalance by showing a series of group moves of a bunch of unionised coolies in a West Bengal train station. As Mithun-da, the coolie leader says in Bengali to the corrupt cop–“Just because our heads are ‘thanda’ (cool), don’t show us your danda (tool)”
Exhibit 4. Aunties are people too. Sure they may have some junk in the trunk and jars of jelly in the belly—but that does not mean they cannot be sexy. Or pretend to be. Here in the fourth video (1 minute 57 seconds), we have Himani Shivpuri, in a ravishing low cut black dress seducing a roomful of horny uncles, showing once and for all that it’s the wine that’s important and not the bottle. Despite a crack or two.
Exhibit 5. Another one of my persistent cribs is the way item numbers suddenly leap at you with nary any context or back story. Okay here is the hero who, after seeing his girlfriend in the arms of another man, has taken to drink. Okay I got that. But then suddenly out of the blue, in the next scene Mumait Khan starts dancing in a blue bustier, glistening with oily glitter. Why? Where did that come from?
So here is a video (1 minute 13 seconds) that shows how it is done. In this sequence, we are shown an everyday scene—a “crazy” man in chains walking in a crowded market place, dancing for sweets. A movie director wishes him good morning and he replies with “What’s so good about the morning?” And then the dialogue goes on to lay the context for the item number to follow—impressing on the viewer what an awesome feat the next dance will be. Watch it to understand. And tell me, wouldn’t such a back story be nice every time Rakhi Sawant came out to dance clad only in rupee coins?
Exhibit 6: Here is the dance (1 minute 39 seconds) that Exhibit 5 lays the context for. Now this is the way real men dance—especially when in, what Somerset Maugham would call, “human bondage“. Note the overweight backup dancers, the unfashionable clothes and the entire atmosphere of the song—this could very well be a snapshot of our daily lives. And yet, despite the seeming mundaneness, the poetry of Mithunda’s movements, the caged heat he radiates in each swing of his head is, for the want of a more original word, simply classic. Classic dance of love.
[Warning: All the above dance moves are performed by trained professionals under careful supervision. Do not try these in front of living people. We will not be held liable for bodily injury, eternal embarrassment and any consequent mental trauma.]
The Greatbong Blog & Podcast 
Cool article!
hail mithunda for his innovations..chain dance..
God is great.. but his bhakts are catching up fast..first clip is really awsome..
remember dancing with perfect abandon at a new year’s eve party–just my crazy friends and i ,when s’s daughter walked into the room and left crying. she sobbed,”they are dancing!!”
that’s how i felt when i saw your videos…
Bhalo, Bhalo, khooooob bhalo 🙂
Yes, sometimes the other-worldness of present day bollywood does get to one.
Finally! Justice has been done to all these exotic dance forms hitherto unnoticed.
Great collection – The first clip was just superlative.
BTW, what’s your opinion of this (tamil) dance?
Suyog
This is really nice !!
Now I have become a regular at this blog. I check it daily. When no new post is posted by out GreatBong, I dig out some old classic from his archive or just check newer comments on the recent posts.
Long live the GreatBong !
Too good.
All clips are cool … nothing matches the first one though 🙂
After watching Prabhuji dancing, a fantastic idea came to my mind.
The next cult classic to be remade (read: screwed with) should be Disco Dancer. And in a casting coup, they should get Prabhuji in the role which Rajesh Khanna played. And the Disco Dancer would be Hrithik.
“Just imagine” (copyrighted by Roshans), Prabhuji throwing the guitar to Hrithik and saying “Gaa betaa gaa”.
Hritik’s mother (who touches the electric guitar, literally) naturally would be Rekha. And the hottie in this movie can be Priyank Chopra as she is in everything nowadays. Or is it that everything is in her nowadays 😉
I am rushing to the PATENTS office to copyright this brainwave.
🙂
Now, what to say … my hubby loves to make a jack*** of himself … but he remains supremely unconcerned about reactions around him.
I cannot be made to dance in public at gunpoint … for that matter, I do not dance in private too … my dimensions vouch for that.
I TRIED to watch Himani Shivpuri’s moves … I had to roll over and die … and I have not dared open the link again.
Thanks for a wonderful coffee break laff.
Asha
Whoa, where did you manage to find these video clips.Hilarious and absurd.
Arnab, kotha thekey clipgulo jogar korley bhai? The first one was superlative….I’m still reeling from it 🙂 And to imagine Himani Shivpuri gyrating in a rather revealing outfit while Meghna Naidu is sitting it out…!!!
BTW, read somewhere that Mithunda was the best thing in this Friday’s release Dil Diya Hai…can we expect a review please?
simply soooper collection of videos this one! 🙂
my favorite has got to be Himani .wat with the hit push bite and heavy duty gyration movements , cud give Beyonce stiff competition.the dress is superb too!
Seriously do you hire people to do research for you ?
LOL.. great clips! also, pls recall Bhikhu Mhatre in Satya – that’s another real one.
Classic dance of love is indeed classic………and i seriously miss the 80-90s dance routines…….specially the extras…….nowadays, the extras seem to be the same …..at least in all the himesh reshammiya videos, all the extras get repeated……..i need those extras back,,,,,,,,,
Amazing! Simply amazing! Especially the Himani Shivpuri one… 🙂
and i thought i was a bad dancer!! the dance floor shall now feel my full vengeance, lol
the nation was swept by the ‘aati kya khandala’ song and dance number ‘cos it was so much do-able.
How do you come with such stuff Arnab ?
Nobody can beat mithunda, with chain or without chain 🙂
Classic – A Damce of Love Rofl….
Bedio me to Natarj bhi dance nahi kar sakta lekin me nachunga kyou ki me Pairo se nahi Dil se Dance karta hu .. Still can stand up from the floor.. 🙂
Thanks for such a good choreography ideas,…..
Thanks,
Ezaz
Not really impressed by the first clip bcos seen so much and worse at all extended family gatherings , something in bet embarassing and hilarious! So Himani’s curves albeit in the wrong direction ofcourse steal the show!
Just too faatafaati. The videos rock!
Pass on my congratulation to your research team. Because even the Greatbong can’t compile this by himself.
Two questions, however:
1. … I can turn to my date and say “Hey I can do that.â€
You date still? Fascinating.
2. . In this sequence, we are shown an everyday scene—a “crazy†man in chains walking in a crowded market place, dancing for sweets.
An ‘everyday scene’??? Kow ki, Ornob? Tomar parai hoy bujhi?
GB,
amazed to find these ‘ChkuMuku-chukuMuku‘ dance scenes from ur stable! have u secretly started disposing these once-a-fav-now-parlam-NA type collections to YouTube?? LOL. DANCE DANCE reminds me of those bholada-panchuda-ganshada dance scenes during the bisorjon(s). in our 20s these were HOT, remember? so, dont get bogged down by thesedays-kiddies like RIMI!! 🙂
my personal fav is the exhibit2 – the bespectacled dude with a sexy mouche, gritted teeth behind the locked lips (tightly holding on the WIND that’s approaching his rear-door with every uncontrolled move) swinging his hands and face in a motion that wud beat our birjoo dude anyday! ohh god. can we google this guy plzzz?
Raapchik maal guru.
Request: Please to also include Dr Rajkumar in ‘Eef you come today, it will be too yearly.’ Note the criss-cross foot movement during the tick-tick-tick-tick part. And it has got superb context also. (link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqGSA4n3kMo)
Also, Munnabhai-er review chai. Surely you can’t deny a request in rhyme?
Hey GB,
Great post. I was sort of tired down here and was yearning for something to make me laugh. This post did it.
The dances I am more keen to observe in my current environment (Wales, Uk) are easy to observe if you are drunk just about right and find that if you watch just the right amount of people high as kites and give them a silent nod in their justifiable urges to become monkeys and shake this way and that, then you will find that dance is a romance with madness. And where more can this romance be clearer then in India, the official residence of love?
The ‘latkas’ and ‘jhatkas’ of Bollywood are synonymous with expression. The heroine can make a point with just the right flaring of arms and stopping her head in the right place and she looks at us like she is pregnant with thoughts and encites us to read between the spines. Such coyness, such yearn to learn. You gotta love it.
Of course, these charms are best left to heroines. When a hero jumps in with his mindless head-shaking and hips that lie…something in me just dies. But then, celluloid is an equal opportunity employer and the likes of me can only focus our annoyance on a new apple.
Check out this, he puts maika lal jaikishen to shame with his sidway moonwalking(2:54)
I for once thought the coolie scene starring mithun da was from gunda…….but surprise of surprises…there we have….prabhu ji dancing ala AOL(Art of Living..not America Online) ishtyle on a surprisingly empty Howrah South east platform…..a BIG THANKS for it 😛
Of the geek video…dont u think we in India sorely need a desi version of the ‘Beauty and the Geek’ ?
offtopic: also please let us know your thoughts on the FAQ thread on Gunda’s true meanings and its use in day to day life on the Orkut Gunda fan club.
@Anonymous: Thanks
@Arin: Chainsaw massacre that is.
@Santosh: Thanks.
@Pseudobong: Executing the geek move?
@Sameer: So it does.
@Suyog: Yes have seen that before. Besides the horrid Afro, I think Kamalhassan does a fairly decent job.
@SP: 🙂
@dEboLiN: Heh.
@Mandar: Yes what a throw that was from Rajesh Khanna as Mithun-da trumped the America-loving “Sam”.
@Asha: 🙂
@EducatedandUnemployed: All part of my private collection of VCDs.
@Nautilus: Prabhuji’s movies are often tough to find…will try.
@Ali: Thank you
@Varsha: Beyonce and Himani Shivpuri…never thought they would ever occur in the same comment.
@Sam: Nope :-). Just me.
@SB: That was a real man’s dance. But it’s rather nice—not the so-bad-it’s-good type.
@Arijit: Yes I miss the overweight “Sha-la” backup dancer ladies.
@Joy Forever: 🙂
@Ravi: Go for it. There should be blood on the dance floor.
@Swati: And how many tried the matchstick on tongue thing?
@Ezaz: You are welcome.
@Varsha: So they do.
@Priya: Thank you.
@Rimi:
1. I was going to say that the “I” was a generic “we-the-people” type pronoun. But I am going to say “What? Your wife cannot be your date? Why do you assume marriage kills romance?”
2. Very common.
@Vuttaa: So hot they were. Nothing comes close to “Bhashan naach” with ‘Aasche bochor abaar hobe’.
@The Marauder’s Map: Sigh! When shall I get the DVD ! And yes that’s a well-known classic like the “Dayal Baba”.
@SirPyscho: What is better than item numbers gone bad to lift a tired spirit?
@Quicksilver: Yes seen that before. Very nice…very lovely feet movement.
@Anirudh: Why only Beauty and the Geek? Why not “Survivor” ? Why not “Temptation Island”? I will write a post on Gunda and why it’s the greatest movie of all time…in due course.
“I dance with my heart and soul”
Can there be a better way to timepass when you are waiting for bus right at 12PM after being in the computer lab for 8 straight hours. Simply amazing.
You should be given a honorary PhD for doing these research.
Hello…from Univ of Iowa, Iowa City.
hi arnab,
been a while since i read ur blogs! infact, have cn u on orkut but well orkut is a waste of time and is as good as a matrimonial site.. so i keep loking up profiles of good looking ladies 🙂
anyways…no blog abt chi-chi aka govinda ? 😦
have u ever tried to get in touch with Mithun? maane does he even know that such a fan-blogger exists??
‘My dancing skills made me a star’
PURNIMA SHARMA
[ 12 Sep, 2006 2310hrs ISTTIMES NEWS NETWORK ]
Original disco dancer Mithun Chakraborty on films & family.
Way back in 1976, a young lad walked away with the National Award for his role of an adivasi. Then came his avtar of a disco dancer.
“Yes, I came into the industry as an actor. And moved on to become a star with the help of my dancing skills,” says Mithun Chakraborty.
But, when he saw his son Mimoh (after wife Yogita told him the youngster wanted to join films) dancing for the first time, he was “horrified.”
Mithun advised him to just copy any one of his songs to the T. “That’s when I saw a spark in him. And today, after some amount of training, he’s turned out to be 25 times better than me,” says the proud father.
But, unlike many other industry dads, Mithun is wary of producing a film for Mimoh. “Right from day one, I told him that he’ll have to make it on his own. I’m a practical person  with four kids, I don’t have that kind of money,” he states.
Getting back to the subject of his own career, he says, “I have some very interesting films in hand  from Guru in which I play a newspaper baron to Raakh. In a forthcoming film, there is a cameo in which I’m singing a qawwali, shot at the dargah in Ajmer.”
A devotee of the place, he informs, “I visit Ajmer often. Actually, my wife had a number of miscarriages before Mimoh was born. I prayed and got blessings that I continue to be grateful for.”..
For one who’s been part of the Hindi film industry for over three decades, Mithun feels he’s done “a variety of roles  from positive to negative.”
Winner of three National Awards, Mithun enjoys the feeling of being a “cult figure for the masses, though I don’t really know what it means. I enjoy reaching out to people,” he states.
And it was dancing that made him do that. “These days, the emphasis is more on technique than on the feet movements. Of course, there are a few talented dancers like Hrithik. Other than him, there are hardly any whose steps can be emulated. In my time, people really related to the way I used to dance on my toes,” he says.
While films keep him busy, he does take off for Ooty to be with his family and 42 dogs, who he says, “are also like my kids.”
A great football fan, Mithun’s a keen follower of cricket too. “My friend Sourav, marks my words, is a fighter and will definitely get back into the team.
DIL DIYA HAI FAILS TO IGNITE
By Pankaj Shukla – Eye TV India Bureau
Critic’s I-view
There is a growing tendency among filmmakers in Mumbai to shoot thier films in Britain. If the reports are true it is said that these producers have cracked some kind of a code in Britain; some agencies are giving huge subsidies to filmmakers to shoot films in London and around. The matter is still to be checked and proved though, but if films like ‘Aashiq Banaya Aapne’, ‘Dil Diya Hai’ and others are the few examples, then Bollywood seems to be on way to Hara-kiri in terms of content. Recent films made in Britain are lacking in substance and are not able to stand even one day at box office.
Famous lyricist Anand Bakshi’s grandson Aditya Dutt has come up with his second film in ‘Dil Diya Hai’ within just two flat years and instead of getting accolades for his efforts, he is now the target of moviegoers for making trash cinema. Aditya repeats his male leads, Emraan Hashmi and Ashmit Patel, in his new film and finds a new female face Geeta Basra this time again. Mithun Chakraborty is, of course, there but as a saving grace. Aditya is again traveling on a path that is most dangerous, especially in the beginning of his career. The sooner he learns the lesson, the better it will be for him and also for those who have grown up listening to Bakshi Saheb’s songs; people look to Aditya as an heir to a grand legacy.
In ‘Dil Diya Hai’, Aditya moves on a trajectory that has many hurdles before it lands on the earth. The film starts with establishing Emraan Hashmi as a boy who has no hitch in fleecing tourists. He plays Saahil, a tour operator, and makes extra money by cheating the people on London tour. He pleads that he needs extra money to care for her sick mother. During one such tour, Saahil meets Neha (Geeta Basra) who is on a voyage with her family.
Saahil is their guide and it Saahil falls for Neha. But the chemistry between the two develops when Neha’s family leaves for Scotland and is left alone . Saahil takes the responsibility to make her reach to her parents by road. As soon as Saahil reaches Scotland, he comes to know about the serious condition of her mother. He has to get a lot of money to save her. So, he tries every means to get fast money .
And, it’s time when he remembers about a person who had once offered Saahil huge money for supplying girls. Saahil presents Neha as a bait and earns money to save her mother. But, his conscience pinches him and he wants to get Neha released from the clutches of that wretched person. Mithun enters the scene playing as a savior who was once a dreaded don but left everything for his love.
Problem with ‘Dil Diya Hai’ is that it looks like an extension of Aditya Dutt’s last film ‘Aashiq Banaya Aapne’. The setting, the plot and the ambience are the same as it in Aditya’s last film. People start feeling impatient with this, and then Aditya unfolds his story. He presents his cards that he has been hiding from the very beginning. But, by this time it is a bit late.
Aditya again tries his magic to introduce Ashmit Patel’s character as a bad guy, but it does not come as a shock to people! Next, Aditya tries his luck with Mithun and this time probably he looks like succeeding a bit. Aditya Dutt may have thought of a unique plot when he conceived the basic idea of the film, but he fails in its execution . He also fails to understand that Emraan and Ashmit are the names that cannot carry a film on their shoulders. The shot-taking is effective in some scenes but is repetitive if you keep ‘Aashiq Banaya Aapne’ in your memory.
‘Dil Diya Hai’ has opened to a very poor response and the main reason for this is film’s weak music. If ‘Aashiq Banaya Aapne’ could generate some kind of heat at the box office, it was because of Himesh Reshamiya’s avatar as a singer. But over the months, Reshammiya’s magic has faded, especially at the time of the release of ‘Dil Diya Hai’. Lacking some good music, ‘Dil Diya Hai’ is tested on its story and acting, but the film in beginning looks like ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’ and later takes the ‘Kalyug’ track.
In the acting department, Emraan and Ashmit fail to live up to the expectations, though they have put in lots of efforts and there are a scene or two where they look like competing with each other. But that’s it. Geeta Basra will take long to make a mark unless she brushes up her skill. Mithun Chakraborty is lovable as ever but others just fill in the blanks. On the whole, ‘Dil Diya Hai’ is an average film that will find it very tough to sail amidst strong waves of ‘Lage Raho Munna Bhai’ that are still strong post one week.
Sabaash Mithunda
Greatbong, put Mithunda on Uncyclopedia. This will make good Uncyclopedia stuff.
I dont know about you but I would prefer Himani Shipuri over likes of Antara Mali.
many did try the matchstick thing.
pre-schoolers’ bags had to be regularly checked and the offending items were duly confiscated by the class teachers.
in all, it was a trying time in school with every brat suspected of being a potential arsonist.
Man! that ‘classic dance of love’ sequence is so cheap that it’s almost nauseating.
Whatever happened to Helena Luke? And hey, Himesh 200.
prabhu ki jai ho. Greatbong, I doubt if Alexander Pope would be as successful if you were born in his time.
cheers
The geek really took the cake with the fly in the sky move:)
However, i sort of liked the rythm of the song; seems sung by Asha Bhosle and composed by RD. I do not know any bengali so cannot make anything out of the lyrics.
After reading praises from you, I have been looking for a CD of Gunda to pay my obeisance to prabhuji, but to no success, may be I will have to start with Chingaari first.
just incase you did not knwo .. Gunda is available on Google Video http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3923767355169636477&q=gunda
Enjoy!!
Hi GB,
After watching Classic Dance of Love, I forgot to mention a particular thing about the movie apart from things I mentioned in the mail to you. While watching movies on VCD, my general tendancy is to Fast Forward songs part even if I like song and have heard 100 times and will listen again on my music player but not while watching movies, but in this, I couldn’t .. simply couldn’t. I just thought of preserving all those moments in my mind.
I do not dance with my feet only, i dance with my heart and soul. Classic, can’t get better than that 🙂
ooooooo you made my day … who ARE you?
falls at greatbong’s feet/… dhaak bajao madol bajao shaankh bajao ulu dao!
Kothh thheke pao egulo ??!!
Speechless, for want of a better word.
GB for your entertainment:
http://www.buzzpatrol.com/news/funny/little-superstar-006347.php
MITHUN BEST ACTOR BOLLYWOOD