Dementia Watch

So what was the most demented thing that happened to Indian cricket today?

Was it the quiet backdoor return of the old graded system of payment, favoured by our fatcat cricketers that was dumped amidst public hue and cry after the World Cup debacle?

Was it the appointment of the sprightly 73 year old, hero to Sharad Pawar, Chandu “Gulabrao” Borde as India’s interim manager/motivator, a man who hails from an era of Wes Hall and Roy Gilchrist and not Andrew Hall and Adam Gilchrist? Prone to forget names of cricketers (“for the better part of his tenure as a selector used to call Sourav Ganguly as Gaurav Ganguly“), Borde is in many ways the ideal man to take over Indian cricket now since he has more than a little touch of amnesia and is thus able to “forget”—something die-hard Indian fans like us somehow cannot. Of course there are some sceptics who have expressed their displeasure thusly: ““How can he manage a team when he himself needs one person to manage him?”

In this context, unconfirmed reports that Venkatesh Prasad’s new one-year extended contract has an additional job responsibility of male ayah in the fine print assumes special significance.

But no, something even more demented has happened which Times of India has been so good as to inform as about.

Kapil Dev and Kiran More may have escaped a show cause notice but the BCCI Working Committee decided to spank them for joining the Essel group-funded Indian Cricket League (ICL), which also got a resounding thumbs down in Tuesday’s meeting.

There is something essentially wrong (though I don’t know what exactly it is) when a former coach and a chief selector are made to bend down over the BCCI treasurer’s lap and get spanked on their rump while they are made to sing “Essel World main rahoonga main, ghar naheen jayoonga main”.

No matter how ethically suspect slapping the bottoms of ex-cricketers may be, I am sure that as each resounding spank bounced off Kiran More’s butt , there were peels of joyous laughter that shook the BCCI offices.

And the man laughing? None other than Saurav sorry Gaurav Ganguly.

39 thoughts on “Dementia Watch

  1. We also need to set up a fool ‘o’ meter gauge at the rate things are going on the Indian cricket scene. While most of the ‘indian’ coaches are in the recokning now, my guess is none of them will want to make their desire public as it will seem as a massive comedown for their personal prestige to be seen asking for a job. Interesting times…..

  2. Well, let them appoint Prasad as full-time coach and that will be the last straw…

    Itni be-izzati ho chuki hai, ab aur bhi kuchh bacha hai kya?

    Why do people stone the houses of players and spare the BCCI offices?

  3. Since I am refusing to get depressed by Indian cricket any more, I have an unconnected question… why are the Google ads on this page for “Total Union With God”, “God’s Love in a 60-sec video” and “Revelation 17 Reveals”?

    Is this a subliminal message that only HE can save Indian cricket?

  4. TOI has done it again!!! This is what you get for appointing English-illiterate management trainees as reporters and businessmen as Editors. 🙂

  5. Awaiting eagerly for Season Borde to start…hope he is given dollops & dollops of opportunity to speak to media…

    a devoted Borde fan

  6. As usual spot on 🙂

    In case you missed out. Ajit Agarkar is back in the team. And Shivraj Patil is the UPA’s choice for president.

    Any similarities?

  7. @GB and Shan

    The Spanking Story was a PTI story carried by TOI.

  8. BCCI should change its name to BCCM (Maharashtra instead of India). All the players are from Maharashtra only and they are all idiots like Sachin, Agarkar, Jaffer, Powar. Seems Vengsarkar’s and Sharad Pawar’s only aim is to fill in as many Marathi players as possible. Indian cricket will see the new lows with all these Bombay players and selectors. I sincerely pray for Jaggu dada to come back.

  9. @rahulghosh

    Which means PTI’s reportage is suspect as well, as of course is TOIs editorial quality, whi chis not absolved just because they got the story from PTI.

  10. do people still follow cricket after the WC debacle ? oops, my bad.

    we spanked bangladesh (away – we an AWAY SERIES WIN!!) all is forgiven. now back to the ahemm, spanking of kapil dev…

  11. Enough of the Maharashtrian bashing please!!
    Agarkar is one of the frontline ODI bowlers…if not tell who?
    Borde’s appointment is temporary…whaddya think they are giving him a year’s contract. Also who else would want to be a stopgap coach…
    Pawar is a figurehead. The real backseat drivers are Mr.Niranjan Shah, Mr. Modi and the countless potbellied, media hungry jackasses who go by the title of BCCI members.
    Please do not bring regionalism into this.

  12. i think it’s unfair to blame Maharastrians for anything other than the Shiv sena and shakti kapoor (who lives in bombay).
    i do think that the board should keep the old pay system. only who gets what grade should be decided better.
    i also believe that crickers should be paid more not less.
    before you get me taken away to an asylum i have good reasons here:

  13. Whenever Maharashtrians at helm, u can see the worst politics that come into play. Who can forget Gavaskar always trying to backstab Kapil. And also, Mumbail lobby backstabbing Kapil in 1987 world cup final (Vengsarkar pretended that he had stomach problem, Gavaskar got out very cheaply, and other Maharashtrians giving their wickets away). As long as Jaggu dada and Saura were at helm, at least their attention was on cricket and India was the only team giving Australia run for their money. Now again unfortunately Maharashtrians are at the helm and u can all the farce, circus, and comedy. They can’t even select a coach after 3 months of Greg Chapple’s leaving. And their team selection is a joke. All the maharashtrians should be banned from contesting BCCI elections in the future.

  14. “when a former coach and a chief selector are made to bend down over the BCCI treasurer’s lap..”

    Oh! How do I thank thee for providing such descriptive sentences. This gruesome scene is bound to haunt me for days to come. As a great thinker of our age (Dr Frasier Crane) once proclaimed,” I need to go and poke out my mind’s eye”.

  15. Current benfeficiaries from Chandu tau’s will have conspired and made BCCI offer him this job. Apparently he was trying to change his will …the beneficiaries requested some “pawarfull” people (offering 10% of the cut) to give Chandu uncle the job so that when he watches the team perform in England he would have a heart attack and die before making any changes to his will…….. cmon guys given the ridic situation any explanation is relatively plausible ….

    Chandu Jethu khub siggiri potol tulbe (sorry non-bongs)

  16. Sorry for this, you might feel it’s just nitpicking, but I feel obliged to do so:

    “Times of India has been so good as to inform as about.” Shouldn’t it be ‘us’?
    Shouldn’t it also be ‘peals’ of laughter and not ‘peels’ in the paragraph before the last?

    Or were they intended? 😀

    Btw, classic Greatbong reporting, again!

  17. Two awesome posts on Indian coaches.. wondering if BCCI office has filters to stop ‘offensive’ posts like yours, much in the spirit of Shiv Sainiks breaking into cyber cafes to stop people from accessing Orkut…and the UPA actually giving a thought to nationwide ban on the same(‘hindi chini bhai bhai’).

    @ Kishor – sorry for my ignorance, but could not place Jaggu Dada. Kindly enlighten or I will believe that your asking for Jackie Shroff who acnnot even act!! leave alone play cricket.

    @ Dibyo – Chandu Jethu naa Chandu daadu … (it rhymes as well).

  18. @Dipanwita, I am not talking about Bollywood’s Jaggu dada, I am talking about cricket’s Jaggu dada, Jagmohan Dalmiya. Seems u have not yet read GB’s review on Antarmahal. Read it and u will know.

  19. lalloo prasad yadav June 14, 2007 — 6:56 am

    Hullo GreatBong, too few comments !! What happened ? Arent you commenting on your own blog using other IDs, these days ?? …

  20. Can we please have a reality show on the workings of the BCCI. That should be a lot of fun……….typical hindi masala movie, lots of comedy, horror, lowe & hate, tons of villians, few heroes and maybe just maybe if we get lucky some sex!!!

  21. no comments from yourfan2 ???

  22. @ Kishor
    Hey , thanks.. err… so you just read the reviews, hmm.. Jackie as the representative of ‘untaped sources of natural gas’..only thing, he kind of gave it away, while manage pretty much without showing off.

  23. I would rather ignore Kishor’s comments. However it is safe to assume that given his flattering view on Maharashtrians, he does not consider Maharashtra as part of South India.

  24. Yeah Dhananjay, right now Maharashtra is not part of south india and Dravid is not a south indian. We will consider revoking their south indian membmership in the future depending on their performance. Btw, read this article in indian express:

  25. Hey kishor,
    whatver fuckwits like u say here doesnt make any real difference does it? Now that u have got regionalism mixed into the this; i’m happy to c marathis rule cricket in india. wimps like u can cry-on and keep bitchin; ha ha

  26. Yeah, and I am also waiting for Shivraj Patil to become president, such that we can achieve a new low on political front too.

  27. sorry, read it “so that” not “such that”

  28. Lage raho Kishorbhai! Since the idea of South India is ‘south of the Vindhyas’, how about shifting the hills to the south of Maharashtra, leaving a symbolic part of it north of AP? Um, maybe Manmohan Singh can use it to grant jobs under the Rural Employment Guarantee scheme?

    The trouble will start when TN, Karnataka and Kerala annoy Kishor-garu. The tricky question will be – is it better to shift the Vindhyas further southwards, or to move the states northwards?

    BTW, Kishor-garu, would you condescend to grant Arnab honorary South-Indian citizenship? Just curious…

  29. Hmmm…the usual “BCCI sucks” article….been there done that…
    I was expecting an article blasting Maharashtrians just because Pawar is the BCCI Prez. You could do better than that Kishor. Please try again. Not going anywhere!!

  30. Yeah Dhananjay but who else is handling BCCM (sorry BCCI)affairs? Ravi Shastri, Gavaskar, Vengsarkar, all Maharashtrians. And what a crap they are. When BCCI (sorry BCCM) chief can’t even spend more than 2 hours a week on cricket, then why in the first place he needs to be in that place? Just for money. Greed personified. And can u call Ajit Agarkar a front line bowler ? He can’t even qualify for a ranji team based on his skills. And the greatest flat pitch bully Wasim Jaffer. Sachin wets his underwear whenever there is a real contest and gets out cheaply. Oh God, plz save this country from these Maharashtrians.

  31. @Kishor -Don’t get me wrong, I am just curious. Maharashtra has a population close to 100 million, now you have pointed out about 10 people who allegedly screwed up (OK, some of them really screwed up) and voila- reached a startling conclusion about Maharashtrians in general. Surely a brilliant piece of deduction, but I am dying to know the math/logic behind it 🙂

  32. That was a brilliant flying-through-the-air-diving-to-hold-the-ball-inches-above-the-ground-in-two-fingers-of-the-left-hand catch.


  33. kishor.. haha , Peshwa time is coming back.. go Hide south of tanjavoor or north west of Attok.

  34. Ahh…the below the belt hit. Getting desperate, eh? Dissing Agarkar seems to be your faourite pastime (sic). Wasim Jaffer a flat track bully, Tendulkar pissing in his pants…
    Would love to give a point by point reply but that would be like banging my head agaist a wall.

  35. Arnab,

    Sign of changing times? You slip in a small ‘tongue in cheek’ reference about Sourav Ganguly and no one is bothered about your regional bias!!

    I guess the ‘pawarful’ coaches and wise men(?!) have really managed to shift the focus of debate to other ‘regions’.

    On a serious note, One does really feel sorry for the future of the most populat team game in the country.

  36. So, the tamasha continues at BCCI…Agarkar gets grade B contract, while Zaheer Khan & Sreeshanth are C-graded, Kaif gets kicked out and India’s future captain Dinesh Karthik is not even contracted!!! In the absence of the demented-Chappell, we can easily blame the top-5 fatcats the chairman of selectors secretary for this latest mess I guess….

    New Delhi: The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) on Saturday announced the new gradation of 17 players for retainership for the current season, based on last year’s performance.

    While the big guns of the Indian cricket – skipper Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly and Anil Kumble – have managed to retain their spot in Grade A, the new vice-captain of the One-Day team Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Yuvraj Singh have been promoted to the ‘A’ category.

    But there is bad news for Virender Sehwag, Harbhajan Singh and Irfan Pathan as they find themselves demoted to Grade B.

    The graded system is for for the period of October 1, 2006, to September 30, 2007.

    Recently at the Working Committee Meeting held in New Delhi, the BCCI had decided to continue with the present graded payment contract system for the current year.

    “Gradation is based on the performance of the players in the previous season,” Board of Control for Cricket in India Secretary Niranjan Shah said.

    Indian pace bowling spearhead Zaheer Khan was retained in Grade C despite his impressive performance in recent months, along with Gautam Gambhir, S Sreesanth, Suresh Raina, Wasim Jaffer and Munaf Patel.

    Mohammad Kaif, who was in grade B earlier, and Murali Kartik in Grade C, didn’t get a renewed contract.

    Besides the retainership, the players also get a uniform match fee and a share of the Board’s profits.

    The decision was taken on the player’s insistence, after some of senior members of the Indian team forced the BCCI to go back to the graded system under which the top five players would get a retainership fee of Rs 50 lakh each annually.

    On the other hand Grade B and C category players will get a sum of Rs. 35 lakh and Rs. 20 lakh each per annum.

    The BCCI also fell to the demands of the cricketers, allowing them to have 40 days in a year to shoot for their endorsements.

    Grade A: Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly, Anil Kumble, Yuvraj Singh, Mahendra Singh Dhoni.

    Grade B: VVS Laxman, Harbhajan Singh, Virender sehwag, Irfan Pathan, Ajit Agarkar.

    Grade C: Gautam Gambhir, S Sreesanth, Zaheer Khan, Suresh Raina, Munaf Patel.

  37. @Yahoo: Well many ex-cricketers have in the public made very clearly their desire to coach. Prasad and Robin Singh for example. I am also sure Srikkanth has coaching ambitions.

    @Mukul: And wouldnt that upset Robin Singh?

    @Diptakirti: Perhaps 🙂

    @Shan: PTI presumably…..but yes there seems to be a concept of “editor” absent somewhere here.

    @Anon: 🙂

    @An Ideal Boy: Indeed. Similarity noted.

    @Kishor: Jaggu-dada had his own problems….namely a bit too much interest in the “commercial” side…to put it mildly.

    @Anonymous Coward: Yep.You are bad.

    @Dhananjay Matre: I am curious why Sharad Pawar bashing translates to Maharashtra bashing. I am not saying anywhere that Maharashtrians are parochial. I am not even saying that Pawar is parochial.He is merely a politician who caters to his local vote bank. And yes his first decision coming on board was modernization of Mumbai stadiums. He did bring the World Cup final to Wankede. Dilip Vengsarkar, Ravi Shastri, Chandu Borde….not that they are incompetent but isnt it more than a coincidence that they share a state? Again this has got nothing to do with Maharashtra bashing at all. Most politicians in India would do the same thing,given the opportunity.

    @W.t.f: Please excuse Shakti Kapoor from this.

    @Kishor: Please.No regionalism here.

    @Tintin: 🙂


    @Uday:Thanks…genuine errors.

    @Dipanwita: Oh yes that famous Shiv Sena software that bashes people all over the world.

    @Lallo Prasad Yadav: Yes sir…thanks for reminding to post comments under different ids. And I will take care to make sure they come from different IPS though…unlike you…who for some reason uses the same IP as our old Ganguly-basher “razr” and also for some reason “shadows”

    @Umrao Jaan: Sex? Chandu Borde sex?

    @Anonymous: No sir.

    @Aditya: 🙂

    @Anirban: Look at the comments above. Signs havent changed…if you know what I mean.

    @Mohammed Iqbal: Putting VVS Laxman in Grade B is simply atrocious. Just atrocious.

  38. @Greatbong – My comment was not meant for you. It was in response to the comment calling for the renaming of BCCI as BSSM and suchlike. My mistake in not clarifying whom it was directed at. In fact your stand is correct in that now Mumbai and Mumbai players are the flavour of the season. Case of politician favouring his minions, nothing else.

    Bringing the final to Mumbai is great, but these guys have still to improve the Wankhede from its present dungeon like state.

  39. Didnt want to shameless self-plug. But I thought a genuine cricket fan likeyou would be interested in this book; John Wright’s Indian summers. I wrote a review of the book here. read both (post book) when you have time.

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