Forgive me for being irregular in posting this week.
I have just been very offended.
Firstly as an Indian, I am offended at the fact that Eklavya the Royal Guard did not make it to the Oscar nominee list for best phoren fillum. Face it, that movie about Saif Ali Khan’s paternity and Jimmy Shergill in the dark was plain and simple awesome. Of course, many people in India hated it but there is a reason for that. As Vidhu the Vinod Chopra points out:
Maybe the critics here didn’t quite get it. I got a great response at UCLA and NYU, where they’re asking me to lecture about the film. They must have seen something
Indeed they had. Make no mistake. This would have been an Indian “Crouching Tiger Vidya Balan” had the Oscar committee comprised of friends of Vidhu the Vinod Chopra like Sudhir Mishra and Jagdhish Sharma and people like Ranjit Bahadur (he shot the “Making of Eklavya”). Had that been the case, they would have shown the same neutrality and good taste they displayed,as members of the Indian entry selection committee, while sending “Eklavya–the Royal Guard” to the Oscars.
If this was the only offensive thing this week, I may have been able to control myself. But no. You see I am not just an Indian but also a Hindu. Which means that I am offended only by cow slaughter and cleavage. At the 175th day celebration of “Shivaji–the Boss”, Shriya Saran came to the occasion, in front of Karunanidhi no less, wearing the kind of clothes I would expect her to come to me wearing. I am linking here to two pictures of Saran taken at that event so that all of you can share my sense of shock while doing “Save As”.[ Pic1, Pic2]. Needless to say, there were some alert Hindus who were keeping a tab on the situation, namely the Hindu Makkal Katchi. They immediately launched a police complaint under Section 34C of the Indian Penile Code.
And so prompt and ferocious were they, that Shriya had to bend down and ask for forgiveness.
Accepting her ‘mistake’, she said she never intended to hurt the feelings of Hindus or Tamilians. She had deep respect for the long standing tradition and culture of Tamil Nadu.
”I was unaware of the repercussions that would arise because of the attire I wore during the function,” she added.
”I came to know about the silver jubilee function while shooting for a Hindi film in Thanjavur. I came to the function directly from the shooting spot,” she said, conveying her apology to all Tamilians through the media.
So confused was Sriya Saran, that she didnt even know where she was coming from “in a hurry”. While in Rediff she says she came from Thanjavur, according to Sify she came direct from Istanbul (where she was obviously insulting Hinduism in a foreign climes). (From Sify: Shriya says since she was coming from Istanbul in Turkey where she was shooting for the Hindi film Mission Istanbul via Mumbai to Chennai to attend the function, she had no time to change!)
Hah. Such a state of discombobulation where a person does not even know where she is coming from, is only natural for an insulter of Hinduism.
If you thought that the limit of being offended has been reached, think again. No I am not referring to the calenders of bikini babes from Kingfisher, Gladrags that Rediff exhorts us to click on every day on its front page and the accompanying offensive innuendo (“Photographer Haider Khan was the lucky man monopolising the girls”). Instead I am referring to Sharmila Tagore being attacked with scraps of paper by members of Laskhar-e-Bhima.(who rose to fame by attacking multiplexes screening “Bhool Bhulaiya” because they showed women in short saffron dresses)
I am not offended by the attack of course—anyone who allowed “Aaja Naach Le ” to be shown in public should definitely have paper-balls thrown at her. What however gets my goat is the name of the organization—Laskhar-e-Bhima—what kind of “secular” claptrap is this? You can either be Laskhar-e-Biriyani or Bhima Sena, i.e. be either a Jihadi or a Valentine’s Day Hater but definitely not a combination of both !