Bhaiyya bhaiyaa, maaro isko. Yeh aadmi hain na mujhe bahoot danger dikhta hain. Yeh aap ka sara hua tiger naheen hain. Yeh to mujhko Bengal ka tiger dikthaa hain
–Chutiya (Shakti Kapoor) about Shankar (Mithun Chakraborty) [movie: Gunda (1998)]
Yes ! In a sign that God does exist and that He cares about cricket, if not about humanity, Mithun Chakraborty has decided to take over Kolkata Tigers (now called Bengal Tigers for obvious reasons), the franchise that represents the city of Calcutta (and now Bengal) in the beleaguered India Cricket League.
And this is not a moment too soon. With a certain evil cricket corporation headed by a certain “kafanchor neta” attacking anyone who has had anything to do with the India Cricket League with the same avarice that the evil zamindars and the dons reserve for the underprivileged in Mithun-da flicks, the arrival of Prabhuji had become a cosmic necessity. Who knows, if the advent had been delayed, the inevitable “kahaan ja rahi ho chammak challo, aaja janeeman” scene, that occurs within the first 45 minutes of any Prabhuji flick may also have come to pass with the targets being the sisters of those associated with the ICL in any way.
Just as Mithun-da created an alternate Bollywood at Ooty with wasted actors, overweight starlets, bargain-basement technical crew, we the Bhakts are positive that he will best the Bollwood glamor of the Knight-Riders with his team of washed-out oldies and disheartened young guns, whom some of the evil men supporting IPL may refer to as “bin petrol ke gadi aur bin naashe ke taari” (Loha)
Of course many people do not believe this. For them IPL vs ICL is a no-contest. According to them, Shahrukh Khan and the BCCI have everything in their favor. The mega bucks, the superstar aura, the marketing she-bang, the support of the cricket establishment and the “Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo Re”. What they forget to take into account is that unlike Mithunda these “sara hua tigers” do not control the laws of physics, cannot dispatch enemies with one finger and cannot mobilize people from West Dinajpur to the Western Ghats with one cry of “Aeeee salaaaa”. And most importantly, they neither have Prabhuji’s heart nor can they draw upon the tidal wave of hysteria that is sweeping the country as the Son of God, Mimoh is launched by one of Bollywood’s top banners. Namely Raj Sippy.
Eat that SRK. Even as a senior star in Bollywood, you do not have 1500 directors lining up in front of your house begging to have you in their movie. Mimoh does. That’s not all. At the mere age of 16, Mimoh was studying astrophysics at 16 and about to get into NASA. What were you Mr. Khan doing at a similar age? Don’t bother saying. We know.
Do remember, dear sir, Mimoh is just the son. Not the father.
And it is the father with whom you and your team of puffed-up of superstars have to contend with.
And finally a “chetawni” message to the BCCI gundas, those “shaitaani type ke bacche” who have revealed a vicious nasty side in recent months that even their worst detractors could not have envisaged.
Do char chaaye aath dus. Bus BCCI Bus.
Prabhuji is here.
And when he is in the mix, dushamon ki laashon par bhangra karne waala laangra ho jaata hain.