Praise The Lord

30 Comments

Bhaiyya bhaiyaa, maaro isko. Yeh aadmi hain na mujhe bahoot danger dikhta hain. Yeh aap ka sara hua tiger naheen hain. Yeh to mujhko Bengal ka tiger dikthaa hain

.

–Chutiya (Shakti Kapoor) about Shankar (Mithun Chakraborty) [movie: Gunda (1998)]

Yes ! In a sign that God does exist and that He cares about cricket, if not about humanity, Mithun Chakraborty has decided to take over Kolkata Tigers (now called Bengal Tigers for obvious reasons), the franchise that represents the city of Calcutta (and now Bengal) in the beleaguered India Cricket League.

And this is not a moment too soon. With a certain evil cricket corporation headed by a certain “kafanchor neta” attacking anyone who has had anything to do with the India Cricket League with the same avarice that the evil zamindars and the dons reserve for the underprivileged in Mithun-da flicks, the arrival of Prabhuji had become a cosmic necessity. Who knows, if the advent had been delayed, the inevitable “kahaan ja rahi ho chammak challo, aaja janeeman” scene, that occurs within the first 45 minutes of any Prabhuji flick may also have come to pass with the targets being the sisters of those associated with the ICL in any way.

Just as Mithun-da created an alternate Bollywood at Ooty with wasted actors, overweight starlets, bargain-basement technical crew, we the Bhakts are positive that he will best the Bollwood glamor of the Knight-Riders with his team of washed-out oldies and disheartened young guns, whom some of the evil men supporting IPL may refer to as “bin petrol ke gadi aur bin naashe ke taari” (Loha)

Of course many people do not believe this. For them IPL vs ICL is a no-contest. According to them, Shahrukh Khan and the BCCI have everything in their favor. The mega bucks, the superstar aura, the marketing she-bang, the support of the cricket establishment and the “Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo Re”. What they forget to take into account is that unlike Mithunda these “sara hua tigers” do not control the laws of physics, cannot dispatch enemies with one finger and cannot mobilize people from West Dinajpur to the Western Ghats with one cry of “Aeeee salaaaa”. And most importantly, they neither have Prabhuji’s heart nor can they draw upon the tidal wave of hysteria that is sweeping the country as the Son of God, Mimoh is launched by one of Bollywood’s top banners. Namely Raj Sippy.

Eat that SRK. Even as a senior star in Bollywood, you do not have 1500 directors lining up in front of your house begging to have you in their movie. Mimoh does. That’s not all. At the mere age of 16, Mimoh was studying astrophysics at 16 and about to get into NASA. What were you Mr. Khan doing at a similar age? Don’t bother saying. We know.

Do remember, dear sir, Mimoh is just the son. Not the father.

And it is the father with whom you and your team of puffed-up of superstars have to contend with.

And finally a “chetawni” message to the BCCI gundas, those “shaitaani type ke bacche” who have revealed a vicious nasty side in recent months that even their worst detractors could not have envisaged.

Do char chaaye aath dus. Bus BCCI Bus.

Prabhuji is here.

And when he is in the mix, dushamon ki laashon par bhangra karne waala laangra ho jaata hain.

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30 thoughts on “Praise The Lord

  1. And Prabhuji has the support of the great stars of Tollywood.

    I don’t know but somehow I do not feel the urge to go to Eden this time. Growing old 🙂 , I guess.

  2. Was expecting a post on this, you obliged , Thanks . but a small note of disappointment. the post is no where nearer to your literary best. Perhaps wehave started classics whenever you post. & offcourse prabhuji deserved a longer piece of article from especialy you.

  3. “What they forget to take into account is that unlike Mithunda these “sara hua tigers” do not control the laws of physics, cannot dispatch enemies with one finger and cannot mobilize people from West Dinajpur to the Western Ghats with one cry of “Aeeee salaaaa””………….
    too good

  4. “BCCI to Shankar (Prabhuji basically): Mere ha**** jaise shakal pe mat ja…. may to bahuthi acha insan hoo…. Mein woh naryal hoo, jo bahar se kathor aur andar se naram hai….”

    Again… “Gunda” captures such hegemonies in the true spirit!

  5. Oh GreatBong:
    I have prayed & prayed at your Gunda altar hoping for a post highlighting the virtues of Prabhuji.

    Ever since you published that seminal interview with reclusive filmmaker, Kanti Shah, I have read and re-read it innumerable times at the expense of my job, family, general life and other trivialities.

    May I humbly inform you that it is now on wikipedia and thus belongs to the ages.

    I have not yet read this one but am sure I will spend atleast 2/5 th of my remaining time on this planet doing so.

    Salutations
    – Vamsi

  6. I’m glad to see your devotion to your god Mithun-da. But are you aware of the other gods of our country? Some links to the videos of other deities

    1. Tamil God Rajni

    2. Telegu God Chiru
    (i) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB-gzPCvNpY
    (ii) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuPwyAJeUdU

    I would like to draw your attention to a particular movie of Chirnanjeevi; it’s called “Stalin” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366180/). Though my knowledge of Russian, Telegu & Tamil are exactly the same, but still I can tell you that this movie is not based on the life of Joseph Stalin or Muthuvel Karunanidhi Stalin.

    Couple of clips from this movie. Enjoy!!

    (iii) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGBdC4_iTPQ
    (iv) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz3k205BhMI

    Sorry for the poor video quality.

  7. I was hoping they would name the team as ‘kolkata commandoes’, but still great name. Hope to have a superbowlean contest between the tigers and riders on pujo day ;-), with a dance face off between prabhu and the pretender(SRK) at half time.

    From the article:
    “I practiced a lot. Locked myself in a room and danced all day and night. When I showed my steps to Mithun, he said ‘Mimoh, you are horrible’ and my heart broke. I thought I should just give up all my dreams of becoming a star.

    Then he taught me how to dance. He wanted me to be an actor. So he never really pushed me to be an assistant director or anything. He wanted me to learn acting. And that is what I have done”
    Damn, that material is good enough to make a movie. Imagine prabhu and son of god sharing space on silver screen.

  8. Chutiya (Shakti Kapoor): what an apt name I must say 😛

    mayne Mimoh was teaching the NASA guys some of his dad’s disco moves so as to give them some knowledge about how aliens move……….or may be he was teaching them a great business model of making movies with C- grade actress with his dad in the lead,on one of their resorts in ooty…which will be a super hit among rickswallas .

    ..ICL has no chance

  9. chan fakira chan fakira chan ke prabhu aagey

    maya mohini key tan man mey ek jwaala si laagey

    so kar jab uthy insaan, tab hi prabhu bhi jaagey

    sourav ka gaurav karney sab logon ney bhaagey

    ch

    cheers
    masood

  10. Unfair to compare Mimoh’s NASA sojourn with SRK. Afterall SRK is a self made man like Prabhuji. We can compare Mimoh only with Aryan Khan.
    I seriously envy Kolkotta (and Bengal) as their passion for cricket has attracted Prabhuji and SRK, while Mumbaikar’s are stuck with Mukesh AMbani where it is all about money.

  11. Pingback: Mithun in the ICL « The Official Fake Blog of the Indian Premier League

  12. I understand loathing BCCI

    I understand not liking SRK and his stupid movies

    I do not understand the “anti” SRK banner. Ok, he does really poor acts. What has he done to attract people’s ire?

  13. Now I know what team to support. Don’t get me wrong, I always admired Kolkata team. How can you not admire a team that has greats like Jhunjhunawala and Ranadeb Bose. Now I will be a die hard of Kolkata team.

  14. Hey Great Bong… isn’t “Bina petrol ki gadi and bina nashe ki taari” from Gunda and not Loha… followed by the phenomenal “wo phateli sari jise….”
    😀

  15. Pingback: Durga Durga at Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind

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