Bol Bhole Bol Tujhko Kya Chahiye?

39 Comments

[Inspired by the song “Bol Bol Bol” fromΒ  the Subhash Ghai mega-flop “Trimurti”. For those who have never heard it, here is the song.

Original lyrics:

Bikta hai sona mitti ke mol,
Bikti hai mitti sone ke mol,
To bol bol bol bol bol bol bol
Aare bol bhole bol tujhko kya chahiye?

Aashiq hoon main dildaar hoon,
Is dard-e-dil ka beemar hoon,
Mujko dard-e-dil ki dawaa chahiye

]

Re-sung in the context of the confidence vote on the UPA government.

Female chorus: Ai Ai Aaaaaaaaaaa………

Deep Voice:

Bikti hai vote sone ki mol,
Bikti hai MP heeron ki mol,
To bol bol bol bol bol bol bol
Aare bol bhole bol tujhko kya chahiye?

Udit Narayan voice:

Ajit hoon main, Charan ka beta hoon
Chote party ka malik hoon,
Mujko baap ke naam pe airport chahiye…….

Heeeen Heeeenn Heeen Heeen….

Shibu hoon main, aap ka sevak hoon,
Is khel main purana khiladi hoon,
Sabko pata hain mujko kya chahiye…….

Heeen Heeeen Heeeen Heeen……

Nirdaliya hoon main, dil dariya hoon
No-confidence ke liye jeeta hoon
Mujko aaj mast “pay day” chahiye………

Heen Heeen Heeeen Heeen…………

Regional party hoon main, power hungry hoon,
Nayee state ke liye bimaar hoon,
Mujko bas ek badiya kursi chahiye……..

Heen Heeen Heeen Heeeen…………

Khichudi” hoon main, 24 Karat bhi hoon,
China ke liye sirf paresaan hoon,
Mujko hakka chow with vodka chahiye……….

Heeen Heeen Heeen Heeen……………

Pappu hoon main, ek MP bhi hoon,
Jail main 5-star style main raheta hoon,
“Pappu can’t dance salaa” ko ban karna chahiye….

Heeen Heeen Heeen Heen……………

The next three couplets are edited from/inspired by AlphaQ’s couplets in the comments section.

Gowda hoon main, sleeping beauty bhi hoon,
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..sorry…phir main so gya hoon,
Mujko mere teen MPs wapaas chahiye….

Heeen Heeen Heeeen Heeen…………….

Advani hoon main, rath pe sawar hoon,
Pradhan Mukhota banne ke liye bechain hoon,
Is bar meri baari aani chahiye………………

Heeeen Heeeeen Heeeen Heeeen……….

Behenji hoon main, haathi pe savar bhi hoon,
Purple kurta main hone waali PM jo hoon,
Suno gaowalon mujhko kya chahiye….

— Taj corridor ka case bandh karna chahiye
Disproportionate possession of assets ka case bandh karna chahiye
— Mere sab dushmanon ke khilaaf karwayee karni chahiye
—Peechle wargo ke liye 120% arakshan chahiye
—Doobya jaisi personal suraksha chahiye,
And most importantly,

—Mera statue Kansi Ram se bhi bada hona chahiye……….

Heeeen Heeeen Heeeen Heeeen…………

Deep voice:

Jo maange tu le jayega,
Warna government hil jayega……….

Heeen Heeeen Heeeen Heeen..

Ai Ai Aaaaaaa………………..


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39 thoughts on “Bol Bhole Bol Tujhko Kya Chahiye?

  1. The only word i’d use to describe this post is Apt!!! GB,as usual,u’ve hit the nail on the head.brilliant,simply brilliant

  2. One of the reasons Jay Leno has survived on NBC for so long is because his audience never feels like he’s got complacent. You, Greatbong, are letting your standards fall. The earlier post coupled with this one are testimony to that fact.

    Also. With respect to the MP’s going on sale. This is India, not Norway, boss. If these guys are being offered 25 crores for a single vote i cant blame them for considering the offer seriously. That’s a lot of money and it’ll ensure the sustainability of the MP and his family for a long time. India as a nation doesn’t mind glamorizing and paying non performers. Tendulkar, Sania Mirza, Ritesh Deshmukh….People who’ve been rank average at their profession for the last few yrs and yet get paid enormously for just being who they are. So lets give that corrupt MP some leeway. He’s just trying to make his cut from the whole thing in anycase.

  3. Aur BJP, JD(S) aur BSP ko kya chahiye…

    Advani hoon main, bilkul taiyaar hoon,
    PM ban ne ke liye beqarar hoon,
    …. bata to diya mujhe kya chahiye.

    Heen heen heen heen…

    Lambi race ka ghoda hoon main, 3 MP wala deve gowda hoon,
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz zzzzz hoon?
    mujhe mere saare MP vapas chahiye.

    Heen heen heen heen…

    behenji hoon main, hathi pe savaar hoon,
    uttar pardes se dilli par hamle ke liye tayaar hoon,

    mujhe kya chahiye? to suno…
    pardhan mantri ka pad (not fart, you fools)
    mere upar kiya gaye Taj corridor ke jhoothe mukadmon ki vapsi
    mere khilaf Income Tax jaanch ko khatam kiya jaye
    shiree mulayam singh jaise bhrasht netaon ko jail
    amar singh ke khilaf jaanch
    amitabh bachhan ke khilaaf warrant
    pichde warg ke liye 120% aarakshan
    rahul gandhi ke uttar pardes aane par pabandi
    ZZ category security
    uttar pardes (ki mukhya mantri) ke vikas ke liye Rs XXXXXXXXXX crore
    … pani laayo…

    Help help help help…

    not as good as you, but then you missed mr advani, kumari mayawati, mr chandrababu naidu and many other deserving and illustrious sons of the soil (somebody please use pesticide on this soil).

  4. Good one yarr.. I hail from Ranchi,Jharkhand so I know these, masti-chors and their appetite for masti and their political golden quadrilateral(Bihar,UP,WB,and of course who can forget their new baby disco of Jharkhand), just too well. Great going. To add, your header templates are just ‘maut ka chumma'(‘kiss of death’).. keep throwing these belly jiggles at as more.

  5. That was a great song by LP…. fits aptly on this situation. Good work GB, keep it going.

    This time though AlphaQ has stolen a bit of your thunder, his lines deserve official recognition from you and should be added to the main post πŸ™‚

  6. “Nirdaliya hoon main, dil dariya hoon
    No-confidence ke liye jeeta hoon

    “Nayee state ke liye bimaar hoon”

    GB Boss… dandawat pranaam πŸ™‚

    Incidentally, I think iPod is too less an incentive these days. Mujhe iPohne chahiye!

  7. @ Scrips
    You wrote : “This is India, not Norway, boss. If these guys are being offered 25 crores for a single vote i cant blame them for considering the offer seriously.”

    Huh?? Wht does this have to do with India and Norway? Human greed knows no boundaries neither does the hunger for power. And let me tell you another thing ‘sustainability’ for the family is a rarely an issue with the MPs pimping their votes. They have more than a sustainable financial base already. And believe me, lure the same carrot to any politician in any part of the world, the reaction would be the same. The only difference between India and Norway (to pick your arbit example) is that here we (the people, the press and the system) lets them get away with it and there they don’t.

  8. @ Ritu

    I get your point very well. The reason i picked Norway was because in a recent UN authorized poll , Norway topped the list of countries who are the most “peaceful and corrupt-free” in the world. As to Us the people and media letting them get away with it, i dont agree. The point is in Norway(and similar places) the people wouldn’t have to raise a hue and cry cause they know that such a position in national affairs will never arise. Its because they truly know that their MP’s care for national interest above all else. Just a difference in cultures i suppose.

  9. Pingback: The great Indian tamasha « News you can’t use !

  10. Just about exact GB. However I find a take on Devegowda, the original baap of all demand-ers, acutely missing.

    Btw, did you watch The Dark Knight? I just happened to watch it today. Jaw-dropping!! Both acting and action. Would like to hear from you on it.

  11. Too good.. πŸ™‚ I was actually humming the tune while reading each part.. Have to say, it ryhmes and actually sounds much better than the original.. πŸ™‚

  12. Not your best post GB… but then every time there’s a Mahasangram the situation is quite “fluid” onlee. The humor is a bit stark but look at one of the first recorded instances of horse-trading and Do Numbri in the first maha political battle of all times.

    The party president of Madra wakes up that fateful day with a splitting whiskey headache in a plush tent, looks around and goes: “What?! Where am I…. and where the hell’s my lungi?! HEY WTF?!!! I SIGNED UP FOR THE F*CK1NG NATIONAL KAURAVA ALLIANCE?!”
    Duryodhana’s head peeps up from under the pillows and drawls: “Dawg… you sure know to party, maaaan! But you DON’T wanna know what you did to Karna’s chariot-wheel bearing and hub last night!”
    “But…. but…. The United Pandava Alliance’s FAMILY, for chrissakes!”
    Shakuni barely looks up from his Chessmaster 2000BC console and quips nonchalantly, “We got your signature in the white parchment AND some nice candid cam pics you know….”

  13. “No-confidence ke liye jeeta hoon”
    Amazing !!!!

    Aam aadmi hoon,
    Is tamashe se tang aa gaya main hoon,
    Power shortage is pareshan hoon,
    Muje India ke liye nuclear deal chaiyee

    heen heen heen…

  14. I like the way you are looking at the situation. I really wish someone would actually make it into a T.V show. I have always felt that in India we have no platform for political humor.
    You use your sense of humor beautifully.

  15. Were things as bad in 1999 when Vajpayee lost the trust vote ? The Congress was upto its dirty tricks, with the CM of Orissa voting against the government.

    One of the most hilarious (tragic ?) incidents which took place was the defection of Shahid Siddique from SP to BSP. The dude was all over NDTV last weekend, defending the deal and saying that it was not anti-Muslim. Next week, on the same program, he is blasting it as anti-Muslim!!

  16. Even if the government wins the trust vote, the way majority is being cobbled around, I don’t think they have any moral right to go ahead with a deal as significant as the nuclear deal. I hope Manmohan Singh recognizes that and refuses take an important decision which determines the future course of India’s foreign policy on the basis of this patchwork wafer-thin majority.

  17. Hi GB, great posts, though you may wish to use an extra ‘h’ to keep your postings from becoming NSFW!

    Quick question: are you using bluehost? Are you happy with the hosting solution you have? I checked the postings in your Administration category and wanted to know how painful/painless it is to deal with a hosted solution and wordpress etc. Thanks!

  18. @Scripps

    [ This is my first comment on RTDM – Have been reading for a while though ]

    You think MPs are just trying to eke out a living here and should be left out? And that this is India and not Norway – Hence such things happen on a regular basis.

    Totally agree with you. We should give those poor MPs a chance to make some decent living. After all 25 Crores is nothing. Its barely above the poverty line for MPs these days. What’s a few flats in Malabar Hills and Audis these days. Peanuts.

    As for Norway and India, yeah we could maybe write about how ‘Sustained Whaling’ is good for our tradition and culture. Or how petroleum and natural gas finds can boost our economy.

    The only downside I see here is that we will have far fewer interesting blogs to read.

  19. Reading that should make me laugh. At a certain level I *know* it is funny, and that if I saw it in a fictional setting, I would have been singing and laughing along.

    But with the reality that it is, I feel like puking.

  20. @Anonymous: What was here in this post that made it NSFW? And as to Bhost, I have my problems with them mainly with respect to my frquently going above their draconian CPU quota (even though I use WP-cache) and getting suspended. Also they have quite a few server outages…having said that I doubt that shared hosting plans anywhere are very reliable. My main crib remains their CPU quota.

  21. @Mohan
    Dude, I would like to point out here, the thin majority in case congress wins, would be a thing majority of communists like Mayawati and self-proclaimed saffron wearin BJP (who of I might add, showed no signs of such saffron when in power, thus are hypocrites) and stopping the nuclear deal would be utter foolishness. There is no “difference in opinion” between these “representatives of people” (MPs) but a way to win votes. As has been discusses above, out MPs don’t fight for what is better for the country but for votes. Congress is starting the deal so naturally, the opposition i.e BJP HAS to say NO. And CPM (a communist party), I have no idea why, is against the deal.
    We are currently at 54% of our nuclear capacity because we don’t have required raw material (heavy water). And Advani was sayin it constitutes to 3% of out current power. Based on that, at 100% capacity, it will be at 6% which is a lot on a national basis.
    Now what this deal requires us to do is, to autonomously (i.e we ourselves) decide and segregate our civilian nuclear facilities, and systematically put safeguards on it. Now someone explain to me what harm do we do if it goes through and we still don’t get any fuel as no promises of fuels have been made and which many politicians are using as a reason to vote against the deal.

  22. Dear Scripps,
    you rank Sachin Tendulkar with Sania Mirza and… Riteish Deshmukh? (serious question mark)

    “This is India, not Norway, boss.”

    Fantastic analogy.

    “So lets give that corrupt MP some leeway. He’s just trying to make his cut from the whole thing in anycase.”

    Is this pessimism or sarcasm?

  23. The greatest joy in all this is to watch Prakash Karat’s apoplectic mug on TV everyday. He must be getting rammed by his Chinese paymasters!

    The BJP is not a problem. When they come to power, they will support the deal – as if it were their own doing. πŸ˜€

  24. Kudos to the Congress on their win.

    It is not often that I support them, but if my limited intellect believes their actions are best for the country, whatever their prime intention behind the action (e.g. vote garnering), hats off to them.

    In 20 years any constraints the deal may impose will be academic. Deals are made only to be renegotiated under the new requirements of the day and age. Always have been, always will be.

    Meanwhile, in these 20 years
    – India should be able to make massive strides in energy development and wealth creation.

    – India will have moved closer to the USA and Western world. Whatever the faults of the West’s social, political, economic and financial systems, they are infinitely preferable to the alternate systems proferred by the drab Boslhevik, the crafty Mandarin or the murderous Bedouin.

    – The Congress has managed to pulverise the shackles of the Red menace in India. Not only will this give Chidambaram a far freer hand in economic development, it may assist in tackling the Naxal menace.

    – The only negative side is the resurrection of that reeking corpse, the SP, and their employment in carrying out all of Congress’ dirty work (bribing ministers etc). However, weighing up :
    – the only cloud in the horizon, i.e. enthronement of a dead party which is acceptedly corrupt but not business unfriendly (SP)
    – against the infinite benefits conferred had the 3rd front (opps, 5th column) emerged, with its infinite clamours and shrieks of Mayavatis and Raos and Karats and Bardhans,

    The Congress, at least in this adventure, has emerged head and shoulders above the anti-national Communists and evidently opportunistic saffronites.

    I support the NDA. Heart and soul. I wish they win the next elections. But facts are facts, and this is a major coup by the Congress who deserve to be congratulated and complimented.

    Well done Manmohan.

  25. BSP – you Mallu commie – you speak of Mahabharata as history . So then do you then Believe that Lord Krishna existed and did all that he is quoted in Mahabharatha as having done ?

    Dude, you will be expelled from your party mercilessly

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