[Pariyon Ko Chod is the name of a Sonu Nigam album–for some reason I find the spelling very inappropriate.]
In misery after having a wisdom tooth extracted, there is nothing better that I can focus on (read that as take perverse pleasure in) than the misery of others .
Like Sonu Nigam’s misery. Last in the news for having been the subject of same-sex proposals from a Bollywood reviewer (not me), which resulted in what Sonu called “Sonu-spanking”, he was, a few months ago, forcibly kissed [image courtesy desihits] and also scratched by a female admirer in a manner reminiscent of the way Ricky Ponting was smooched by a man during a bat auction, an action that some believe led him to lose his cricketing Mo-Jo.
Of course, Zoom (isko dekho) suggests that the whole kissing incident may have been stage-managed —-as if Sonu Nigam needed to desperately show, for some reason, how much women love him. Needless to say, this accusation is totally false as can be evidenced by footage of Sonu Nigam that shows him distraught and terrified. And as all of us who have seen “Kaash..Aap Humare Hote” and “Jaani Dushman” know, Soni Kudi Nigam cannot act for his life.
As to Sonu Nigam, he coolly collects himself and modestly brushes away the incident thus:
Koi bhi artist jo accha kaam karta ho stage per woh stage par hota hain to ekdam spiritual huya hota hain us samay. And suddenly koi aake jaise woh Vishwamitra ki neendra ..meditation..ko kharap kar de koi waise koi baat ho jaati hain.
But Sonu is grateful that this Menaka was at least, biologically, a woman. Having just recently escaped from the attention of an obsessive man, he counts his blessings always.
Ladki thi to itna buda naheen lagta.
Not so lucky is this poor man. As if being in jail was not cause for misery, his travails were compounded after he was miserably cheated by Shah Rukh Khan’s endorsement of a talcum powder. First he was seduced by the advertisement which as reported by this blog goes thus:
The actor (Shahrukh Khan) is then seen to be caressing himself in the bathroom with talcum powder telling us how he feels cool and efficient with its use.
Convinced about the efficacy of the powder, the poor man applied it on himself, did feel thanda thanda cool cool at first but then his body started itching and he felt a “burning sensation”.
I can see this poor man’s genuine grievance in front of the court being devastated by SRK’s attorneys when they shall possibly prove, using possibly doctored evidence, that the burning sensation he felt when he applied the powder might be due to “factors” other than the talcum powder.
Where is Ram Jethmalani and Nandita Haskar when you need them?
Finally completing this troika of misery is our poor old Aamir Sohail, famous for brandishing his willow at Venkatesh Prasad and for pronouncing bowlers as “bawlers”. He is unable to understand why despite the fact that Pakistan has fearlessly lead the war against terror, in the same efficient manner that Shoaib Malik has lead the Pakistan national team, none of the Western “allies” want to tour it.
What is happening in the country is basically the result of Pakistan leading this war against terror,” Sohail said. “We are paying for fighting it. Countries such as Australia and England are our allies in this war on terror, yet they are not supporting us here. Are we real allies or are we just being used?”
Yes indeed Aamir. Indeed so.
As the great Billu Badshah Clinton would say “I feel your pain”.