Hello and welcome to the Cricket Show on Kangaroo TV. Today our hosts are Jingoistic Australian Mainstream Reporter 1 (JAMR1) and Jingoistic Australian Mainstream Reporter 2(JAMR2).

Before we start, a message from our sponsors: Fosters— Australian for Boor.

[30 sec slot of Andrew Symonds drinking Fosters]

Host: Hello and welcome back. Front page news in all the papers today: India have defeated Australia convincingly in their own den. Your reactions?

JAMR1: Okay let’s put this in perspective here. Australia dominated the preliminaries and India just came at the end and took the Cup. The format’s fault really.

Host: Well if we look at India-Australia matches as a bilateral One Day Series, there were 6 matches played out of which one was a wash-out and the remaining 5 India has taken 3 games to 2. So..

JAMR2: I think we are missing the point here. The Indian board has used its money power to destroy the morale of the Australian team. Ricky Ponting and the lads have had so many extra-cricket issues on their minds—bid rates, contracts, tax forms—that they have been unable to focus on the game. It’s disgraceful how the cash-rich Indian board intentionally held their IPL auctions at a time when the series was going on and this totally messed with our player’s minds. I can assure you that if there had been no IPL auction, the Australians would have knocked the Indians over.

JAMR1: Let me interrupt here. I think the travesty that is IPL has been best brought to focus by Justin Langer. While rejecting IPL and expressing his fear of how the greed of IPL will ruin world cricket, he said and I quote:

When you go to your grave, people will remember what you did with your life rather than how much money you made.

And here you find evidence of exactly what Langer said, the pernicious effect of India’s financial clout.

Host: I think it should be fair to add that Langer, despite his well-expressed revulsion for the concept, did sign up for IPL voluntarily and was one of the players for whom no team put up a bid . And so he had to be sold at a reserve price. For those viewers who do not understand what this means, it’s like selling stale milk a dollar cheap.

JAMR1: That’s not really relevant here. However what is relevant is that Ponting’s loss of form can be traced back to an incident that happened in India the last time the Australians were minting money sorry touring there. In a corporate function that Punter was attending, not because he is a paid brand ambassador but because he genuinely wanted to know the local culture, a man caught hold of our captain and kissed him brutally. Had not Ponting showed lightning reflexes and offered his cheek, the man would definitely have planted the kiss on his lips [video link].

Figure 1: Bheege Honth Tere

Poor Ponting has never been the same again—–he sees Ishant Sharma, Praveen Kumar running into bowl and his fractured mind keeps telling him that they are sprinting in to suck the nectar from his lips. No wonder that he cannot stay at the crease for more than five minutes.

Needless to say, the Indian cricket authorities did nothing to this kisser. Just as they did nothing when their crowd shouted abuse and made monkey gestures at our boy toy Roy. And my reports tell me that everytime Ricky comes to bat, the ill-mannered Indians sing “Zeher hain ke pyaar hain tera chumma” to remind him of the incident.

Host: We take a small break to bring a message from our sponsors.

[30 seconds] Ricky Ponting is shown at a press conference. On the screen comes the message: “Australia W(h)ines –A National Pastime”

Host: Welcome back. Talking about player misbehavior, Hayden called Harbhajan an obnoxious weed and challenged Ishant to the ring while making fun of his Indian accent.(Link courtesy: Bongopondit) Comments?

JAMR2: Okay I have a question. Do you know what Jesus Christ called Pontius Pilate? An obnoxious weed. And do you know what he told the Roman soldier who put him on the cross? “See you in the ring” before imitating his Latin accent.

Host: I have never heard this before.

JAMR1: Of course you haven’t. But Jesus must have said that. Because as we all know, whenever Hayden is in trouble he asks “What would Jesus do?” and acts accordingly

When I’m in trouble it’s always something to think about. I ask myself what would Christ be doing in this situation?


And I am sure that faced with a stress situation like Christ encountered on the cross, Hayden reacted exactly how the son of God would have—with an expletive, a threat of violence and more than a dash of racial superiority.

Figure 2: In Happier Times: Symonds and Hayden “Blows” Away the Opposition

Host: Which brings me to Andrew Symonds.

JAMR1: Yes the topic everyone wants to hear about. First off the bat I would like to say that the entire country of Australia is with Symonds. Everytime Harbhajan came out onto the field, thousands of Aussies would rise as one to boo him, show the middle finger and shout expletives. I shouted myself along with them “Come on Aussie come on. We will give em thunder down under”. I should point out that this kind of barracking is very different from the crowd shouts in India, which is reprehensible and something I feel the Aussies may be walking into while playing for IPL, considering that the Indian board turns a blind eye to such abuses. Of course the Australian cricketers are brave, honest folk and I laud them for taking the difficult decision to walk into the ring of abuse that is an Indian stadium.

Coming back to Symonds. What Indians do not realize is that Roy, that is our man Symonds, is a very sensitive and polite individual. It’s true that he verbally abuses the opposition but that’s just the way he plays his cricket—hard and tough. But he himself is extremely touchy. In this article, he mentions how shattered he and his family have been by the fact that anyone would even question the his high standards of swearsmanship. Oh I am sorry I meant sportsmanship.

JAMR2: The poor man. He tells Ishant Sharma “Good ball champ” after getting bowled. And this Indian, with the horrible Simpsons accent, shows him the pavilion. If it was an Indian rather than Symonds, he would have said “Good ball chimp” or even “Good balls chimp” and that would of course be very racial.

Figure 3: Buland Australia ki Ulang Tasveer

JAMR1: No doubt. I am also fairly positive that the naked man who ran out to Symonds and whom he , in a gesture that attests to his gentleness, elbow-charged with such violence that he could have busted his jaw, was actually hired by the money-rich Indian board to distract our champ. If anyone has ever seen this naked man as a backup dancer in any Bollywood item song [ I have been told that white slender men are very popular in India to do the “Oooh Aaah you are my Sonia” moves behind the hero] please SMS any kind of pictures to the number at the bottom of the screen. Once we have this, we can finally show proof of the BCCI’s underhand tactics.

Figure 4: Puppy Love–Clarke claims yet another illegal catch with typically Aussie below-the-belt tactics

Host: And finally. Harbhajan making monkey gestures to the crowd. Now come on guys, don’t you think that the man would have to an imbecile of the highest degree to make monkey gestures to the crowd, in front of all those cameras, after all that has happened. Even our Alan Border has applauded Harbhajan for taking abuse and not reacting. And the photograph of Singh rotating his shoulder, even to the most jingoistic among us, is laughable as proof of a “monkey gesture”

JAMR1:You don’t get the point mate.


David Berkelmans, who was sitting in Bay 29 of the Clive Churchill stand with his 12-year-old son, Callum, was appalled when Harbhajan spat towards the crowd: “I witnessed Harbhajan Singh make monkey gestures and spit in the direction of the crowd … I have lodged a complaint with Cricket Australia through their website,” he said. “My son was disgusted when he spat. He did the monkey gesture halfway to the boundary, before he could have heard what the crowd were saying. For India’s management to deny he did it, it’s just an absolute lie. He has been accused twice of racially abusing Andrew Symonds, and if they are going to lie about this, it calls into question the other denials.”

Rob Younger of Wollongong added: “The crowd got stuck into him … his response was to stick his hand up and scratch his armpit referring to the infamous monkey taunts against Andrew Symonds … in my opinion his relentless acts of racism and sledging after numerous warnings is more than enough to constitute a ban.”

Crowd member Matthew Zywietz said: “There was no doubt that it was a clear monkey gesture.” And Blake Delcanho wrote: “I was at the game and saw Harbhajan do the monkey gestures … Are the Indian team management calling 10,000 of us liars?”

Yes that’s the crux of the matter. Are the Indians calling us Australians– liars? We are Aussies. We don’t need photographic evidence or logical evidence to prove our stories. Remember when Warne and Waugh took all that cash from the bookies. Cricket Australia asked them “Did you underperform?” They said no sir, we just told them the weather and pitch conditions. Case closed. No bans imposed. Why? Cause they are Aussies and people believe them. Even when they say they took money from bookies believing there were no strings attached.

Of course things are different if it’s an Azhar or Jadeja. Then they are murky representatives of third-world corruption and deserve to be banned, no matter what they say.

JAMR2: Indeed. If there is anything that has happened this summer, it’s been that these blasted Indians have refused to stay silent and take us at face value. I mean that Procter dude did do some good initially—he sent out a strong clear message that the word of two white men count more than the words of two brown men. Especially when it comes to racism. Then the blasted Indians used their financial clout to get that decision overturned and the new judge not only exonerated Harbhajan but also said that Symonds provoked him. What a load of bull-crap. How can an Australian provoke someone?

JAM1: And now that that vile, racist “monkey issue” has been brought up I would like to say…

Host: Hold it, we have a caller from India. Yes sir you are on the line…

Caller: I have only one thing to say sir.

In our country, there is a line which I would like to dedicate to Cricket Australia, the Australian media and most certainly Ponting, Hayden and Symonds.

Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander, Jo Hara Wohi Bandar.

Don’t mind. There is nothing racist about it.

Figure 6: No caption needed
[A post on Indian cricket and the ramifications of the victory in Australia shall follow]

76 thoughts on “ExcuseORama

  1. Siddharth Betala March 6, 2008 — 5:21 am

    Amazing Post Arnab! Hats off!!

  2. Siddharth Betala March 6, 2008 — 5:27 am

    -In Happier Times: Symonds and Hayden “Blows” Away the Opposition
    – Buland Australia ki Ulang Tasveer
    Hilarious!!! hats off !!

  3. Only one word : Awesome !!! 🙂

  4. ‘Australian for boor’ & the ‘blow’-ing away picture ….. sooper!

  5. kartik krishnan March 6, 2008 — 5:59 am

    “Zeher hain ke pyaar hain tera chumma”
    “Australia W(h)ines –A National Pastime”

    “Symonds and Hayden “Blows” Away the Opposition”

    Sir, I bow to thee for these delecious one liners !!! 🙂

  6. kartik krishnan March 6, 2008 — 6:00 am

    Waiting for the follow up post … jaldi jaldi sir ….

  7. I’ll bet JAMR1 and JAMR2 will be seeking commentary positions in India in April trying to mooch off the IPL money shamelessly like their noble compatriots Messrs Ponting, Hayden and Symonds

  8. Now thats awesome!!
    Hats off to you for pulling out something like that.

    P.S: I am eagerly waiting for Ricky ponting’s arival in kolkata for the IPLs.
    I’ll be happy to see a blog from your side about ricky’s survival story in BANGA BHOOMI 😉

  9. “Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander, Jo Hara Wohi Bandar.”

    Great post! Thanks.

  10. Great post, Great Bong!

    Daily Humor

  11. My first comment on your site. Great post. you brought out all our @#$##$* beautifully.

  12. hahahahahahaha. more gelam (Bangla for ‘near dead laughin’)

  13. Amazing Post!!!
    The photographs were gems!!
    Keep posting…
    and throw away your day job and continue writing such classics ( just joking!)

  14. Amazingly awesome post…

  15. Where did u get those pics.. in particular the pic of hayden and symmo ..”Blows”… heee.. u have destroyed their alpha-male image in one word…
    Great post Arnab 🙂

  16. Heh…nice.

    And the good folks at cricinfo say that it is the fatigue that got to the (High and) Mighty Aussies. The fact that the Aussies won the league games comfortably is ample and obvious proof for our simple minded reporter.


    The ‘Zeher hai ke pyaar hai tera Chumma’ part threw up many unsavoury visions. Nectar of the lips-phew! And of course, all the happy and …err…gay frolic shown in those images-makes one think: it must be getting a little lonely in the Southern end of the globe, eh?

    Of course, not that there’s anything wrong in that..

  17. Great work man.

  18. we are usually the racial discriminees, how do the aussies expect us to racially discriminate them?

  19. I was waiting for a post of this kind after the cup win & oh boy the wait have been worth it. (both the cup & your post)

    Good one Arnab, waiting for the next one please make it quick.

  20. Buland Australia ki Ulang Tasveer! hah hah hah!

    and i was under the impression that these guys took more than 40 years to apologise to the Stolen Generation. Rabbit Proof Fence (www.imdb.com/title/tt0252444/) is a must watch for the Bhajjis before every down under tour.

  21. Great post Greatbong!
    And really, at this rate, Bhajji has an itch in his underarms, he should actually call Symonds to scratch it, lest it be taken otherwise!

  22. i checked this page a hundred times for your post. the effort was well worth it! Awesome post!!

  23. “Symonds and Hayden “Blows” Away the Opposition” – Fantabulous!!

  24. Why not just name the two Aussie journos Peter Lalor and Malcolm Conn? Those two idiots are really working for the correct newspaper Murdoch owned, right wing, The Australian. Truly the Fox News of Australia!

    Great post! 🙂

  25. Another hilarious post. I couldn’t resist but repeat what most of us felt:
    “Symonds and Hayden “Blows” Away the Opposition”
    “Zeher hain ke pyaar hain tera chumma”
    “Buland Australia ki Ulang Tasveer”
    Absolute gems!

  26. Pingback from Blogbharti: […]Greatbong, in his inimitable style, tells us about an interview with two Jingoistic Australian Mainstream Reporters (JAMRs) following the recent CB series.[…]

  27. ha ha…in reference to Symonds and Hayden “blowing”, would have never guessed Symonds was the top.

  28. That was very creative. The photos were excellent. Good job.

  29. another gem of a post dada!!! Can you arrange for sending a copy to the Aussie Team 😉 or atleast the Aussie media….

  30. One word. Brilliant.

  31. “Zeher hain ke pyaar hain tera chumma”


  32. Arnab: very well researched and woven together nicely. You have done an excellent job. Feel like reading it again & again.

    Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander 🙂

  33. Great Bong,
    The wait is about to get over… Mimoh is *arriving*

    debut venture to release in April

    Please, Please read the link

  34. Amazing!

  35. “Zeher hain ke pyaar hain tera chumma”, dude, how do you even remember these…..that got me cracking big time….

  36. This victory was as good as the 1985 one …..man o man it was totally worth it staying awake the whole night to watch this ….

    Ebaar Ponting ar Hayden er khemta naach dekhbo ….poisha diyechi emni emni …..

  37. Great Pics Bongo….
    Thanks for sharing the australian media views to us.. 🙂

    great post.. waiting for the followup post eagerly…


  38. Brilliant:-)Can someone please sponsor a brain scan of this great man.

    Next time you are in Kol, do let me have the pleasure of being your host.

    Jo jeeta wohi sikander is something that I cant stop humming since we won the 2nd final

    Ray, Masood and Rukhaiya

  39. Sweetest victory in last few years. Congrats team India.

  40. I haven’t read the article at the time of posting this comment, but after looking at the pictures and a few lines while skimming through, I know this is an instant classic.

  41. Hahahahahahaah. No words absolutely.

    Note: This message may not be constituted as ass-licking of any form.

  42. I dont even know whether there exist superlatives in the English (or Australian) language to describe this post. HATS OFF is all I can muster at this point of time 🙂

  43. Dumdum_er_Antel March 7, 2008 — 4:25 am

    Dekh kemon laaage!!!!!!

  44. If you check out major Australian newspapers you will realize that more than coming up with excuses, they are mostly focused on the streaker incident to divert the attention from their pathetic performance in the finals.

    It wasn’t used to be that way in old days (90’s) when Australians (media and players both) used to admit there shortcomings after any defeat, even in a league match. I am pretty sure that the downfall has begun for Australia and of course nothing could be better for cricket than getting rid of these obnoxious weeds from the top slot.

  45. Sid...No More The Kid March 7, 2008 — 6:51 am

    @ All:
    Guys, why there so much fuss among cricket “authorities” regarding the “threat” posed by IPL , esp among the English?? I simply dont understand it.
    Its the English who started 20-20 with pure commercial motives- to fill their empty stands in county matches. India originally refused to recognise that. Its only after we bacame the World Champion , we realised the potential commercial and entertainment value and started ICL/IPL et al. Suddenly it seems the geat cricketing tradition of 100 years is theratened by a 40 day annual event?????!!???? Players will entertain us , get paid handsomely and will be able to have a less rigorous schedule without sacrificing monetary matters-thereby prolonging their careers.Whats wrong with that? Did ODIs ruin test cricket , or did it revolutionise that with higher scoring rates, better fielding , more allround excitement???????
    Read this article to undertand the extent of IPL-phobia that our English gentry is suffering from and the remedies that these “truly demented” minds have thought of

  46. Sid...No More The Kid March 7, 2008 — 6:55 am

    @ GB
    Arnab, I know this your space and what you write about is totally your prerogative. But will appreciate a post, seeped in your usual sarcastic brilliance , on this “crusade against Third World commercialism” being raged by our erstwhile Imperial Masters..

  47. BTW, am I the only one who feels Praveen Kumar chucks some of his balls?

  48. Potent stuff. Keep ’em coming, McDuff!

  49. hard-hitting post. But, then, they did ask for it!

  50. uber-cool my friend ! I covered a wee-bit of this whole issue recently too.

  51. hehe, shan what have you been watching man?! 🙂

    yeah jokes apart, he does have a strange action every now and then.

  52. Another bullseye. Did you write this after reading Healy’s “hard and fair” — naturally — take on the tour Down Under on rediff.com?


    There’s such stiff competition for JAMR1 and JAMR2.

  53. Zeher Hai Ke Pyar hai tera chumma..hillarious stuff

    Great post GB 🙂

  54. Fatafati fatafati… kono kotha hobe na!! Awesome post Arnab! Keep up your fantastic writing.

  55. @Shan

    No not really. he does jerk at the last minute.

    I noticed it, and dont know wht you’ve been watching the telecast on – Ian Chappell has mentioned more than a couple of times that his action reminds him of some Bob Messy who had the same last minute jerk.

    I believe its not chucking if he’s not saying so. Though I thought so too, guess Paki or Aus duds will be the first ones to cry foul of his action – come his 2,3 good innings against them!

    BTW, I’m awaiting your response to that other thread (the one spoilt with my love for Ganguly)

  56. Great Post !
    And what a great time for Indian Cricket !!!

  57. Awesome post GB, very well summarizes the Aussie hypocrisy

  58. @Sid, no more the kid-

    Let me tell you why there is so much being said about the IPL. In my neighborhood there was an old gent who was a mechanical engineer from some Brit uni in the 1950s. He came back and lived on a salary of 8000 INR with little increments over several years. When boys of our locality started getting into software in the 1996-2000 era, started going abroad and earned big salaries, he shook his head and said exactly what those most British journos are saying nowadays- “Its Silly Money”.

    Now you know as well as I do that the players wages are nothing in comparison to what the BCCI made. If IPL is silly money, then so are the wages of filmstars, people who made a windfall from land value appreciation, the stock market bubble etc etc etc. The list goes on. The point is the English people cannot digest the fact that so much is being earned. Earlier Paki players loved to play county cricket as their wages earned in terms of FX was > their board’s salary. With the IPL and county cricket schedules intersecting, there is a chance that the English county cricket will lose its sheen (if it had any after the 90s). I am also appalled by certain sentiments about the IPL money. People are saying like..why is Ricky Ponting earning less that Ishant Sharma. My question is why he cannot? Like stocks, the player prices were determined by demand and supply, and investor sentiment. Unlike stocks, the prices will be locked for a period of time. The auction went like this- Who wants Ponting? 300k. Since there was no big demand, the auction closed quickly. Remember the franchises too had an optimization problem in their hands- with money being the constraint. Now if 2-3 franchises showed an interest when Ishant Sharma was auctioned, its natural that his price would rise. Who cares if who earns more than whom? If Ponting is disappointed about his money and jealous of Roy’s then he can go and f Roy. But with 1.5 m at stake, its quite likely that Roy would not only shoulder barge but wallop Pontings ass. In fact, again no racism intended, but ahem, for 2 million Roy would be willing to play with a shirt on called Big Monkey. In fact if I was Lalit Modi, I would have teased Ponting that he can get 500k if he agrees to play IPL with a shirt on called, “Man of questionable integrity.”

    Then there is this thought that the cricketers will lose their heads over the big money. Ill tell you who has lost his head over the IPL money- some journalists, most notably Tim De Lisle- and that guy was the editor of Wisden. In a horrible horrible article on Cricinfo he says,

    “Even if this is a case of mistaken identity, the wider point holds. The IPL will be paying gigantic fees in a country that still, for all its thrusting capitalism, encompasses a great deal of poverty. Three years ago, the average wage in India was said to be US$1,740 a year (£877 at last night’s exchange rate). Sharma will pick up something like that every hour of the working day, even when just travelling or practising.

    He is an exciting fast-bowling prospect, tall and spirited, but he is only 19, and he has played a handful of Tests and two handfuls of one-dayers. His career haul in Twenty20, the form of the game he will actually be playing for Kolkata, is one wicket. He is something Ben and Jerry would recognise: the flavour of the month.

    You can’t blame Ishant for not saying “I won’t, thanks”, and some players are getting even more – Mahendra Singh Dhoni is on $1.5m, Andrew Symonds $1.35m (would he have got more if he was on better terms with the Indian team, or less?), and Sanath Jayasuriya $975,000. The businessmen shelling out these sums are presumably not fools. But do they have any clue how cricket teams work? ”

    The rest of the article, where he makes a frivolous comparison to a Vermont based ice cream company is pathetic at best. Definitely the worst cricket writing piece of the decade. I know of some Phds who have joined the industry because of money- and they know that their job is silly. Just like the cricketers do. What I liked most about the IPL was the way it set the cat amongst the pigeons in the Aussie ranks. Generally the CA supports its players even if they caught cheating red handed. They justify it by some sort of ways. Now we have a divided house- that famous line of “Ill give my blood and guts for the great baggy green cap” is gone! Ponting wants ICL to be incorporated within the ICC calender. The realization dawned upon him on the night of the Allan Border medal when he found out just what an ugly bitch his wife Rianna is compared to well…anybody. If you get an semi hard on seeing an ugly bitch, you dont enjoy sex. If you play fraction of IPL, you dont get paid fully! Ponting got that concept. But he cannot tell CA to adjust its WI schedule. So ICC is the saviour! If ICC says that no intl cricket when ICL takes place, then that solves the problem! CA is angry, but cannot do anything. I love this friction. Just love it.

    Then the British and Au media are angry that BCCI is having so much power. That is very well understood. Just a few days back they had the veto power. And a few centuries back, they were looting via the East India company. This IPL is the new East India company, but unlike the old one, it doesn’t pay its profits to the Brits! How atrocious. Tim DE lisle is right! Just a few days ago, when everyone had forgotten him, great blogger GB mentioned him in a post and his seminal role in scrapping the veto power rights. They didn’t like him too, I tell you.
    Socialists like Sanjay Manjarekar have chaired round tables as to how the BCCI should channel money to the welfare of the game- well theres plenty of it around. I liked the way ICL made BCCI shake up. And I support BCCI;s tactics of not allowing a player to play the ICL- hey its a pvt company, if you don’t like it get out! Go join the ICL. I cant find the link but I read an Andrew Symonds col a few days back in the Herald sun. He basically said that if ICL is not accepted, players allegiances to their countries would be affected. Ho ho ho.

    So the people whining about ICL money would be people who are jealous of BCCI and the fact that India yields so much power in world cricket.
    British and Aussie media and their Indian cronies- like Dileep Premachandran. I distinctly remember how Dileep Prem professed to all after the Symonds drink and play cricket episode in England that we should not bother about a cricketer’s personal lives and how they were mature men. But he forgot to add a disclaimer about how that applies to only Aussie players. His concern for young Indian players here will bring tears to your eyes.

    “It was a mundane party in the middle of another nondescript one-day series, and the conversation was inanity itself. A young man who had played for India for a couple of seasons was part of our group, and speaking shyly about his chances of playing in the final that weekend. Out of nowhere, his agent stepped in and caught his eye. “I’ve got two girls arranged at an apartment,” he said, oblivious of the fact that there were at least four others listening in. The player’s face went pale, and he was quiet for a good few seconds. “Come on, let’s go,” said the agent. The player was hardly the picture of enthusiasm, and pointing to his India blazer, he said: “I can’t come wearing this.”

    The agent just laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a change of clothes for you in the car,” he said. And that was that. Within five minutes, the two of them had left. The player did little of note in a final that India lost miserably, and it’s fair to say that his on-off career has hardly scaled any great heights in the half-decade since he was whisked off into the night.

    Cricket’s problem is the absence of benevolent dictators. Where would Wayne Rooney be now but for David Moyes and Sir Alex Ferguson?”

    Indeed, where would Ishant Sharma be without the advice of the ‘mature’ Dileep P. Ishant is 19 and seems to be very stable minded. But if he ever decides to have a beer or put his cock into 2 girls for a threesome, he should first report to Uncle Dileep. Uncle Dileep would act like the guiding hand, pass a bowl of cereals and milk to Ishant and then walk into a bedroom with those girls. He might even charge a commission on Ishant’s fees! The bottomline is that weather the players are mature enough to handle that money doesn’t matter- its theirs. If 1/2 of them lose their heads, thats not the problem of other players who can manage. So dont blame ICL.

    As a footnote, the son of the engineer I talked about was a “para rockbaj”. He too somehow joined software and is now abroad. His father now doesn’t call it silly money no more! In the 70s he used to go to Brigade Ground to protest against capitalism. Now he happily sips the Chivas Regal given to him by his son.

  59. So Greatbong, how come so much love for this ODI team that is full of youngsters and without Ganguly? If Greg Chappell does it, it’s wrong, but if Dhoni/current selectors do it, it’s right? That too, this time they didn’t even have the excuse of Ganguly not scoring runs for leaving him out. But the criticism this time is nothing compared to what Chappell got.
    Victory truly changes a lot of things!

  60. Sid...No More The Kid March 8, 2008 — 7:47 am

    @ Your Fan:
    Good one, Dude! And what a lame logic “what do team owners know about running a cricket team??” What do most of the billionaire owners of football clubs know about football? EPL teams are being bought over by US owners!!!!!!! Thats why the essential job of running the game is vested in proffessional hands…and the governing bodies still remain the deciding power on most issues related to the game. The owners are responsible for the commercial part of it. The same English establishment doesnt have a problem with privately owned football clubs .
    GB’s reference in the above post to Justin Langer is a good pointer to the kind of hypocrisy thats prevalenmt among the so-called upholders of the spirit of the game.They cant stop salivating over the monies being thrown their way- but need to feed the sense of superiority that they find hard to to relinquish.
    If you have gone thru the link I attached in my earlier comment, you will find one such English gent wishes that the clock will turn back and we will get back to cricket being dominated by Ametures.. laughable, really. Proffessionalism is what has elevated the game, made playing standads higher , the game itself more competitive and ineresting. It worked for Soccer, for Basketball and for that matter any game that enjoys mass popularity. But cricket has to remain a fiefdom of past colonial masters- not to be meddled with 3rd world greed!!!!!!

  61. Mast likhte ho to bhai..bawaal…

  62. @yourfan, @sid: Agree completely. It is amusing to see the British and Aussie journalists bitching and moaning about IPL destroying cricket as they know it. Well, so bloody what? When 80% of the market is in India, organisers will show what the Indian public wants to see, not what the Tim de Lisle’s and Christopher Martin-Jenkins think is right for the game.

    Another point you missed in that de Lisle article. He said something like “so much money should not be going out of a poor country like India to the pockets of foreign players”. Well you know what Tim? Much more than that is going out of India to the coffers of ICC and all the other foreign boards currently because of the way international cricket is structured. Whenever Indian team goes and plays in Australia or in World Cup, we Indians are contributing to the coffers of Cricket Australia and ICC. Whereas, with IPL, most of the money generated stays in India. That is as good a reason as any for us to support IPL over international cricket.

  63. sivaramakrishnan March 11, 2008 — 1:50 am


    to be fair to greatbong , his criticism of chappell was primarily the way at which ganguly was sent off.Chappell gave some rather immature comments to the media about dada which was nothing short of slander.Even though i feel greatbong sometimes loses it when he is writing about dada, most of his criticism of chappell was justified given chappell’s behaviour.i was hoping for a great final ODI treat from dada, but sach and the kids more than made up for it.

  64. I loved teh fact that in the photo where symonds and hayden are blowing away the opposition, they are holding bats with pink handles

  65. brilliant post, as usual!

    and if you can do check this out. the video strongly reminded me of a greatbong post.:P

  66. the earlier commenter was ME. it turned anonymous due to some strange quirk of the internet.

  67. brilliant… man absolutely brilliant.
    GB, if you ever do visit pondicherry, you have a standing invitation to let me offer you the best hospitality i can…
    i have to say it again… this was just brilliant!

  68. g.b.:

    ‘Caller: I have only one thing to say sir.

    In our country, there is a line which I would like to dedicate to Cricket Australia, the Australian media and most certainly Ponting, Hayden and Symonds.’

    i thought the caller would’ve gone: “live from kolkata, it is saturday night!”

    snl’s loss is blogdom’s gain. good one, g.b.!

    – s.b.

  69. Look at the scoreboard, creeps. You LOST the Test. LOST, LOST LOST.
    The pajama game was just the summer filler. But it was touching how important it seemed to be to you all.
    Honest, you guys are like old, poor, but normally quiet neighbours who have lately come across a few quid. So with your new good fortune you’ve got on the piss and played your music loud. A couple of the family’s normally quiet and polite boys have gotten shit-faced and then wanted to swear at and fight everyone.
    Many of you have behaved like noisy galahs. Totally out of character. Everyone’s puzzled. You mean those nice quiet people were always like this, underneath? Ugly when you lose, ugly when you win and braggarts all the time? The UGLY INDIAN has arrived. Glad you’ve gone. Really.

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