Kiss From a Rose On the Grey

46 Comments

Aah what a week. Like the maharajahs of yore rewarding nautch-girls, our politicians have been throwing our tax money at the feet of our victorious cricket players, Ricky Ponting has been mouthing off and Symonds, of all people, has been lecturing us about our supposed lack of “humility” in victory (yes we do remember the shove off given to Sharad Pawar in a moment of victorious humility some time ago) with some people interpreting the Australian’s intensely negative reaction to the outpouring of adulation for the winning Indian team as nothing but a case of the worst kind of sour grapes (“Gee whiz, we win the One Day World Cup and we don’t even get a bicycle from the Australian government and here these oafs win a Twenty20 tournament and are having Porches and Mercedes being left at their doorstep”)

While our Team India turned in a below-par performance in the Bangalore One day thus letting the trash-talk go unanswered, the common Indian fan once again stepped up when it mattered and give a “moohtod” jawaab to the Aussies. At an auction organized by ING-Vyasa , rather suggestively titled “Take Home Ricky Ponting” one Jayaram Reddy won an auction for a picture of Ricky Ponting, said he didn’t want it but instead wanted a picture taken with the Aussie captain. As he got up on stage to make good on his payment, he first hugged Ricky with slightly more warmness than is considered apposite and then, out of the blue, landed a passionate kiss on him. Watch the video as “tough man” Ponting lets loose a primal “Yaacckkk” scream as the steamy saliva of Mr. Reddy leaves a wet mark on his cheek. If this does not rattle Ponting and by extension the team he leads and trigger a process of mental disintegration, I do not know what will.

Mr. Reddy would indeed have taken Mr. Ponting home (see how he tries to cop a few more feels) if not for Mandira Bedi’s stern “That is making him a “little” uncomfortable sir”. Mr. Reddy was back it seems after he won a bid for Ponting’s bat (a wooden one let me make clear). This time however he was surrounded by security when he came on stage to prevent a re-occurrence of the Emran Hashmian moment(if you hear closely to the video Mr. Ponting tells the man “You are not allowed to kiss”)

On being interviewed, Mr. Reddy gave us a glimpse into his beating heart:

He is a great captain – and our Indian culture is to kiss him. In foreign you know, they hug and kiss, but he refuses to hug our Indians. I told him – you hug me – otherwise you get lost.

Mr. Reddy—you take my breath away.

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46 thoughts on “Kiss From a Rose On the Grey

  1. hardcore. brilliant writing again.

    i particularly liked the observations about Mandira Bedi’s stern warning and Ponting complaining about how far he would put out on the first date.

  2. Maybe Ponting needs to try this on his team mates more often or probably the aborigines living in the dry hard lands to feel ” Real Love”..

  3. Hahaha that was funny.

    I also laughed at how they shoved Mr. Powar off stage. What’s to love about this sugar baron who’s also wedged himself right into one of the most lucrative industries?

  4. โ€œand our Indian culture is to kiss himโ€

    How dare he? Doesnโ€™t he know our โ€˜cultureโ€™ prohibits kissing in public? The media should have known better- they could have just shown two flowers, with their petals brushing against each other- we would have understood ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I wonder if the “moral police” would care to file a case against this guy and Ponting (for being an accomplice, albeit an unwilling one) in this immoral display of affection.

  6. Dont you think poor richard gere was falsely victimised for shilpa row. Now I wonder where are those people.
    Since when kissing is part of culture? Everytime our movie censor cuts kissing scene from movie on basis of public kissing not part of our culture.
    Anyways, but great article.

  7. gr8 post GB….
    as the progressive and hence automatically Aussiphile mainstream Indian media was expectedly quiet about giving it back to their “mates” from down under…the task was ostensibly carried out by the “aam aadmi” and what a way to do it…..!!!hats off….

    BTW ,It was outrageous hearing the Tutor of Aboriginal etiquette, Mr.Andrew “straight from the bush” Symonds,saying how the Indian Team shouldn’t have conduct itself after the T20 victory and expressing his anguish over the shameless celebrations.Perhaps he could have added a tip or two from the official handbook of his country- “The hands that built Australia”.
    The ownership of these hands was duly explained by one Mr.Arjun Ranatunga!!! [:)]

    However i was disappointed when i failed to find editorials extolling Symonds’ views and rightly pointing out how the celebrations etc hurt the social fabric of India and widened the gap between the haves and the have-nots!!and of course when projected to the dimensions and dynamics involving International relations ,this “lack of humility in victory” might even well hit our “rapidly” improving ties with our cuddly neighbor….
    n if and when the effects of this “hawkish” approach towards celebrating victory in a measly ,singularly capitalistic cricketing event compound into serious consequences ,it’d be of our making.This way isn’t the right way,mate!the right way taught to Indians over the years has been “restraint” in face of aggression,”spirit” in face of terror attacks and now this “humility” in victory.it’s time all this bullshit was shoved somewhere,anywhere-left ,right n maybe down under!

    p.s. after reading about Symonds’ non-cricketing exploits viz. “swimming in shark infested waters”,”butchering pigs”(!!!!) [ref to TOI for details] i could almost see the hack who wrote that article slobbering over his “object of fantasy”…..!!!i hope Symonds obliged with a date.

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  9. …this is hilarious … just imagine the amount of sledging that Ponting will have to face regarding this incident –
    Every time he takes guard the wicketkeeper will go “Mind if I don’t kiss ya Ricky?”

  10. Indian blogs are becoming unreadable. Suddenly, the free market champions are defending the crass enrichment of cricketers for winning the most base form of cricket (after losing to England in the ODIs no less). This is vote buying at its worst, but for once, the liberal Indian blogosphere is silent. Because for once, everyone can scream”Chak de India” and feel good about themselves.

    I read your blog every other day but if this is the kind of crap that you are going to be posting, I can get similar entertainment when Indian housemates get drunk.

    I hate the Aussies as much as the rest of us, but what has India achieved to have this kind of scorn for them? I think that given India’s starving millions, it is the Indian cricket team that has to be giving money to the people, considering they earned so much from a few weeks worth of 3 hour matches.

    On a cricketing note I wonder how Srinath/Kambli/Azhar/Jadeja/Mongia are feeling, now that Joginder Sharma and Yousuf Pathan have probably out-earned them on the basis of a single tournament.

  11. @ Kunal: A supporter of team that includes Sreesanth and Munaf Patel should hardly be talking about players coming out of the bush.

    And to clarify Symond’s ethnic background, he is of West Indian origin (not that being an Aborigine is anything to be ashamed of).

    I am disgusted that Indian arrogance has forced me, a Sri Lankan and a hater of Australian cricket, to defend Aussie players from racist insults. Yeah, India has become just like Australia. Sadly, in all the worst ways.

    I have never hoped this in 22 years of watching cricket, but I hope the Aussies beat India black, blue, white, green and orange.

  12. oh man this is precious! you can see the edginess in ponting’s eyes in the second encounter. LOL I hope at least some of the sledgers get mileage out of this

  13. Arnab da,

    Hilarious write up!
    The money these cricketers are getting makes me green with envy. In school we had to cram up on Shakespear novel(forgot its name) in which he says that rich men give presents to other rich men. That is what is happening here. These guys have absolutely no need for the pitiful amounts doled out by the govt.

    However if these same “pitiful” amounts had been doled out for somebody else in the sporting arena, it would have made a difference to those poor souls.

  14. Well well well…I kind of agree with Mr Stephens. Taking nothing away from Dhoni’s young team, I too am of the opinion that we had gone quite overboard with the rewarding and celebrations.
    Symonds may have had formed his opinions based on this “Gee whiz, we win the One Day World Cup and we donโ€™t even get a bicycle from the Australian government and here these oafs win a Twenty20 tournament and are having Porches and Mercedes being left at their doorstep” feeling, but actually considering the last 3-4 years’ performance in international cricket (especially in the ODIs), we Indians have achieved very little.
    Last year we managed to win the test series in the Windies but lost the ODI series pathetically. Same thing happened in England this year. England was more painful as we were almost on the verge of winning it.
    If becoming champs in T20 World Cup is fetching the players millions, becoming world champs for three consecutive times (four in total) should fetch the Aussies much much more. Despite all their snobbishness, rudeness and my utter dislike to them, I can’t help but feel they have every right to be feeling disgusted with this. Not only Symonds, but every player who belongs to a team a million times as successful as the Indian team in recent times, is bound to feel this way.
    Perhaps Symonds shouldn’t have had expressed the disappointment so openly.

    But then, Aussies are not known to be good diplomats. ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ Kunal :
    You have made your point but could have done it as effectively without bringing Symond’s ethnic background.
    Out of everything, that should not be the reason to make him ineligible to express his views his way.

    Arnab :
    Nice entertainment, again. On one of those days when all odds are against me and nothing goes my way, only these gems of yours keep me going and make me see the day through. ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Had a good laugh at Ponting’s ordeal (hindu reported how Reddy bought everything).. serves Australia right!!

    Just a thought(as the Asia Cup hockey team prepares to go on an hunger strike agianst the discrimination faced vis a vis Cricket ‘glory’)… Not a single person granted/gifted/gave anything to Jhulan, the ICC woman cricketer of the year. Infact it was Chak de who made even the megre write ups in newspaper possible, otherwise I dont think anyone would have ‘wasted’ print.

  16. @Debolin:

    “I too am of the opinion that we had gone quite overboard with the rewarding and celebrations.”

    Have you read the comments on the previous post? You are not allowed to say such things – after all we won a world cup! ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Kunal:

    Symonds is a fine cricketer and he expressed his opinion. You are free to disagree, but not to say anything derogatory about his ethnic background. You crossed a line there.

    @Anthony Stephens:

    While I agree with your general point, you are also guilty of committing the worst kind of generalization by saying “Indian blogs are becoming unreadable”. This one is certainly one of the most readable blogs (dare I say) in the world, as well as being most inclusive.

    Please try to separate the blogs from the people who comment. I don’t think you will ever find Arnab being racist or communal. However, commentators are not so restrained, and line any other popular blog, this one also has its share of racist or communal readers, even trolls who revel in the anonymity of the online medium to vent their innate frustrations and insecurities. That does not reflect either on the blog owner, OR for that matter Indian blogs in general.

    No right thinking cricket lover denies that the Aussies are a champion side. It’s just that their easy assumption of that superiority and frequent declamations on that rubs people the wrong way. However, remember that we still aspire to that very situation! Whenever we talk about raising the standard of cricket, we always take the Aussie example. So there is a lot of respect also involved. After all, Both India and Sri Lanka lost in WC consecutive finals to this team!

    As for your wish that we lose. Sure, no problems there. After all considering that India and England have been the only teams in the last 5 years to give then any sort of challenge, it stands to reason that losing is not a fait accompli. You have to wish for it.

    When they play Sri Lanka, we all know what will happen – no place for wishes – only a grim certainty that they will whip your ass senseless.

    Cheers! ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Hilarious Arnab.

    Well with Sreesanth on field and Reddy off it , Mr. Ricky Ponting may regret having changed his decision to drop out of the Indian tour( I know , I know, it was for an injury).

    These days the Aussies are behaving increasingly like one Mr. George Bush, wherein they are prone to make judgmental comments about the entire cricketing world. Like a good Indian , I would say to them ‘ It’s my problem sir. Would you mind oiling your own charka, please.’

    @ Anthony Stephens,

    I regret that you probably have no idea about how much money Srinath/Kambli/Azhar/Jadeja/Mongia made in their careers. And I am not mentioning the amounts received from match fixing!

  18. Funnily, neither SMH nor foxsports came up with this incident. And what an ROTFL incident it was. ๐Ÿ™‚ Mandira Bedi to the rescue of 2 time Wc winner. The power of Spaghetti straps. For the first time probably in her life, she found herself as the uncoveted one amidst male company.

    Also did you see Warne’s latest blunder?

    “OK, so you’ve had the better part of a decade – and a series of similar bust-ups involving British nurses, South African temptresses and Melbourne strippers – to formulate your opinion, but this time it’s final. We think. And, again, an errant SMS message appears to have been Shane’s undoing; his fingers clearly not as adept with a mobile phone as they were a six-stitcher.

    In her latest interview with a women’s magazine, Simone Callahan-Warne-Callahan revealed how she terminated her relationship with her cricketing husband after he recently sent her a suggestive text message, supposedly intended for another woman. Simone divorced Shane in 2006, but had relocated to Southampton – Shane’s UK base – in an attempt to reconcile the relationship.

    “It was the wake-up call I needed,” said Simone, who’s certainly had a few in her time. “I’ve been very suspicious for some time that he was up to his old tricks, but he denied doing anything wrong. Then I got the text by mistake and that was it – I knew that my gut feeling was right.”

    According to Simone, the text message in question read: “Hey beautiful, I’m just talking to my kids, the back door’s open.” Simone then claimed to have shot back: “You loser, you sent the message to the wrong person.”

    Pure Class. LOL. ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. if people think that the reaction shown by the Australian team was just cuz of the fact that India aren’t exactly a cricketing superpower…and it had nothing to do with the Aussie sense of supremacy( i’d b a fool to doubt Australia’s cricketing prowess) ONLY in the way they play cricket ,then i guess i must respect that and make it clear that I don’t think so.And it could have stemmed from my innate sense of insecurity which is so very associated with communal/racist trolls like me.
    But it’s also that I can’t remain moderate/liberal/forgiving when gentlemen like Symonds behave in such a brotherly fashion.I really don’t believe in restraint in the face of bullshit.Whether that bullshit was racial or otherwise ,it’s an individual perception.

    p.s. And talking about Cricket ,I’m a big fan of almost half of the Aussie team incl Mr.Symonds ,but then what happened had got nothing to do with Cricket.

  20. @Shan: With respect to “After all considering that India and England have been the only teams in the last 5 years to give then any sort of challenge, it stands to reason that losing is not a fait accompli.”

    Its a bit hard to challenge the Aussies if you lose in the first round no? Its fine, you guys keep playing in your T20 sandbox. But wait, I read Murali, Jaya^2 and Sanga are joining IPL as well though.

    Fear not, in response, I’m sure the BCCI and ICC will dream of a new form of the game where India is competitive. Maybe in this form, the bowler chases the batsmen around the ground shouting “Kabbadi Kabbadi”. And once he catches him, pounds the pitch in celebration. Jai Hind!

  21. @Ram: Yes, pls celebrate a worldclass sportsman like Anand. Give him something for being a dominant player in an extremely difficult sport for years.

  22. @ Anthony Stephens:

    Sri lanka is my favourite ODI team after India. I was disappointed because they did not do well at the twenty20 world cup.

    aussies are the most competitive people in the world. i have a lot of respect for them. however, when it comes to cricket they are poor sportsmen. you will have to admit that the spirit in which india and pakistan played the final was exceptional.can you imagine a final with australia in it without words being exchanged or some crappy intimidatory tactic. look at what they did to murali because he was taking the stuffing out of them. like sunil gavaskar says, they are not loved champions like the west indies were in their hey day.

    that is why i would take great pleasure in ricky ponting getting kissed by a sweaty drunk man with a bushy moustache.

    @ indian cricketers make too much money:

    shall we go back to sociialism? should we kick shah rukh khan out of his palace?

    lalit modi gave yuvraj singh the porsche from his own pocket just the way indian cricketers have recieved cars from their fans for a long time. tendulkar, kapil dev, azharuddin -all have got cars from fans. those objecting should get their facts right.

    im sorry but an asia cup win in madras does not compare to this neither does the nehru cup win against syria.

    india is a country STARVED for sporting success. so half successful people like sania mirza are going to mint money. that’s the way markets work.

    and if one has to complain about politicans.. i think patronizing cricketers would come very low down on the list.

    p.s. viswanathan anand has been repeatedly felicitated by the tamil nadu government. and he is overpaid too as he is india’s top sportstar when it comes to direct earnings from sport. shall we ask the chess administrators to pay him less too?

  23. I think its extremely foolish to criticize people in general for going overboard in victory celebrations. Bollywood and cricket are opiums of our masses. Asking the public to take a stock of things and reevaluate the performance of the national team is like asking hordes of movie goers to stop seeing Shah Rukh Khan movies and watch ‘Last Year at Marienbad’.

    Deep down Symonds may have realized that a resurgent India may mean that sponsors would go to their players than the Aussie players. Its also a bit of a shock when you are suddenly reduced to being the cover band from being the big boys of Rock. GBs point is that it is ironical of Symonds to speak about all these issues. For example he never lectured Aussie crowds as to how to behave with a star player like Muralidharan.

    The undoubted prowess of the Australian cricket side is tangential to the discussion here…. and Symond’s question in general is actually an answer to the Vishwanathan Anand question. Mass appeal is something which can be modeled but seldom shaped by analytical discussion. The market researcher will acknowledge.

  24. Ha Ha Ha.The guy also said that if given a chance he would take Ponting home for a night. Methinks he should have it.[:P]

  25. @Ashish: Yes you can.

    @Dhananjay: Not that its working.

    @WTF: ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you

    @Srikanth: Maybe he is.

    @Pri: Slap and a kiss…what extremes.

    @Sriram: ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Ankan: Lick de India

    @Quicksilver: Hair today gone tomorrow.

    @Ravi: Indeed I wonder what the moral police would say. Nothing because this is one kiss in which the “foreigner” certainly did not enjoy (as opposed to old man Gere)

    @Nikhil: No he has been punished enough.

    @Alphabets: Yes I wonder when kissing great captains became part of our culture.

    @Kunal: I find the reference to Symond’s roots as something that can really be avoided. I have little regard for Symond’s chest-thumping when it suits him and his sulleness when others do it but I wouldnt bring his upbringing into it.

    @Dibyo: Smelling the leather as they say.

    @Anthony Stephens: I am sure they are unreadable. I am also sure they might appear a bit more readable if you could wrap your mind around the fact that this post in itself was not about “scorn for the Aussies” (though yes I do think they are boorish and deprecatory about the achievements of others) but aimed more at this Indian sense of entitlement, which is why Mr. Reddy feels that just because he has paid X amount of money, he buys the privilege of kissing a certain person.

    @Anonymous: I am sure they will.

    @Abraham: True

    @dEBoLiN: Whether we have achieved little or much is a moot point. Cricket is entertainment. The worth of the players is gauged less in terms of matches won/lost and more in terms of the entertainment they have provided and how much the investors in the sport have been able to cash in on their performance. In other words, their success is measured solely by the “passion” they can arouse in the aam-junta so that they watch the ads between the overs. By that definition of “success”, the Indian team has been successful and so they reap the spoils.

    @Random: Market forces…thats why Jhulan gets nothing, the Indian hockey team gets nothing..

    @Anirban: Sreesanth and Reddy—the devil and the deep blue sea.

    @Yourfan2: Yes I saw that blunder from Warne. You can see why Warnie, for all his greatness, never became the Australian captain.

    @Yaip: Drunkard? No no sir…in our culture…

    @Ram: Well nothing stops you from celebrating…let everyone celebrate what is close to his/her heart.

    @Sharmistha: Yes yes he should… Ponting ko lamba kar dega total Lambu Atta style…and maachish ki tili…yes…khamba ho jayega.

    @Fark: ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. Sreesanth was at it again…in the 2nd ODI. Even attempted to run Symonds out in a patently unsportsmanlike manner. This is, of course, besides jumping up and down and baring all his teeth like an ape whenever he got a wicket.

    I’m sure there are still people who will say – “We need this sort of aggression…”.

    I hope he gets banned for the rest of the series.

    I repeat. He needs psychiatric help.

  27. After yesterdays pounding, is it now time to get Mr Reddy in the Indian team? For psychological advantage?

    His ‘silly mid-on’ and ‘bat kissing ball’ would be something worth watching.

    He could replace Mr Powar (I could replace Mr Powar)….. Is Mr Powar the son of Sharad Pawar or sometin’? Otherwise, how come?

    How come?

  28. @GB: when i talked abt Symonds and his ‘Aboriginal etiquette’ ,i was making a reference to what he supposedly stands for and nothing else.but i did put it in a oblique fashion i guess.thats my clarification for you ….[:)]

  29. An interestin debate has ensued in media circles about whether India over reacted to the T20 triumph…?

    Wonder what the junta here thinks..?!?

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