Kissa Kissi Ka

34 Comments

There is something about cricketers, something about “ball misses bat bat misses ball howazzat” that just make those lips go out of control. I first came to know of this relationship between cricket and kissing during the Sportsworld quiz when the quizmaster asked “Who was the first Indian cricketer to get kissed on a cricket field” and the answer I found out was Abbas Ali Baig (One of the teams guessed Bapu Nadkarni to which the quizmaster pointedly said “Do you want me to repeat the question”?).

As a budding teenage cricketer it then became my dream to be kissed one day on the cricket field based on my heroic exploits, a fantasy that was captured by the Cadbury Milk Chocolate ad wherein a beautiful girl dances onto the ground after her man hits the ball for a six and share some sweetie time together (the kiss is not shown but we all assumed it was there).  Nothing like that of course happened to me as I passed my teenage days singing “Na Jaane Kiss Kiss Ne Kiss Kiss Ko Kiya Hain Ek Main Hoon Jisne Sab Kiss Ko Miss Kiya” , no doubt because of by my inability to clear the boundary or first base depending on which sport suits your taste.

As days went on I kept my eyes and ears open for such cricketing kissing stories and they came in from time to time, mostly apocryphal and third-hand like UFO-sightings and ghost-experiences like this time a senior at Jadavpur University was supposedly kissed by a class-mate after he batted our department to glory in an exciting run-chase against arch-rivals (noone I asked had exactly seen this but everyone knew about it).

I was rewarded after many years by this famous incident where in a sponsored event called “Take Home Ricky Ponting” , a certain cricket-lover, who had successfully bid for Ponting’s bat took the title too seriously as well as the possession of Punter’s bat too metaphorically and wet-kissed Punter. His logic was water-tight: “Ricky Ponting is a great captain and our culture is to kiss him”. This of course set in motion what I have claimed before on my blog a sequence of events that led to Australia’s downfall as a team.

From that incident, besides the look of sheer terror on Ponting’s face (I saw the face after that only once while facing Ishant Sharma),  I remember the indignation of the man after Ponting moved his lips away at the moment of impact. [Link]

In foreign you know, they hug and kiss, but he refuses to hug our Indians. I told him – you hug me – otherwise you get lost.

A sentiment that was mirrored recently when a female fan from Calcutta tried to kiss Irfan Pathan and Pathan, displaying the kind of pace  he displayed last in 2006, moved away with the polite sentence we committed men tell our ardent admirers ”  Shivangi mere ko maar dalegi ” [Investigative report here]

As the girl says, totally unaware of anything even slightly improper says :

When two people meet, don’t they greet each other with a hug or a kiss on the cheek?

To which I would have said “How come I never met anyone in Calcutta who feels this way” had I not been aware of my limitations. However what was even more uncannily similar between this incident and the Punter kisser was the wrath of the rebuffed admirer, something that both Punter and Pathan would do well to take note off unless they want to further lose their most ardent fans.

But he quite literally pushed you away.
Yes, I know. I was there, remember. He behaved as though I was committing a crime. I’m sad he responded in that manner. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. He should not have pushed me away.

And you still like him?
No! I don’t. He has hurt my feelings and I won’t forgive him.

Of course this is not the first time cricketers have been kissed in Calcutta. A few years ago Dhoni was also similarly grappled by a female admirer which might explain why he goes around with an all-female detail and why notifying WADA of a cricketer’s whereabouts would compromise their security.

And as to the rest of you wondering where the hell do women in Kolkata and India greet strangers with hugs and kisses eat your hearts out. Remember these are cricketers we are talking about and, as the Cadbuy’s ad goes,  “kuch khaash hai in sabhi main” which is why they, despite their best efforts,  are forced to taste  “swaad zindagi ka” in all its milky goodness.

[Picture courtesy Cricinfo and the Telegraph]

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34 thoughts on “Kissa Kissi Ka

  1. The Zee News report is depressing to watch in its unashamed hollowness… seems the standard of news in our country has already plummeted to that of the US.

  2. What would probably be very interesting to note is the ambivalent and silent attitude from the bajrang from North, Sena from West and another Sena from the South and M.Didi from the east over all these incidents. I have noticed that most of the times the virtues of morality, bhartiya culture, valentine day et all is limited to common janta and not to celeberities.

    The amount of debauchery which happens under the garb of ‘Page 3’ behaviour is not funny; but its absolutely not acceptable if you are a bhola from bhagalpur

  3. ““kuch khaash hai in sabhi main” which is why they, despite their best efforts, are forced to taste “swaad zindagi ka” in all its milky goodness.”

    My my! You are wicked 🙂

  4. Hilarious!

    You do hit on a fairly thorny issue. Why are our cricketers protesting against notifying WADA of their whereabouts? I really fail to understand that part. I have already lost a huge interest in Indian Cricket owing to the focus being shifted off the game. It is painful to see that cricketers these days are more concerned about hamming skills than batting skills. The passion is missing.

  5. “No! I don’t. He has hurt my feelings and I won’t forgive him.”

    Rakhi Sawant would be so proud of her.. When will Indian guys-the Mika’s and Irfan’s-learn to treat women with respect? 😉

  6. During 1999-00 India-NZ test series at Green Park, Kanpur (when the “dashing” openers Gandhi and Ramesh bored us to death)some girl got into the team toilet and wanted to hug Ganguly there. I suppose this news came out only in the local newspapers. I was one of the few lucky ones to be sitting in the ground, infact I was sitting very near to pavilion and we heard lot of “shor gulla” after that and saw visibly very upset Ganuguly and rest of his giggling team mates 🙂

  7. Well, leaving cricketers aside for a moment (if at all that is possible, they’re in your face all the time), I think one famous celebrity kisser in not-so-recent memory was Padmini Kolhapure, who kissed Prince Charles (on the cheek, silly, those were more demure days) during his visit to India.

    And as for the reluctant cricketers (including Ricky), while they may not have much problem with the act itself, they may have their preferences, no? (:-)

  8. How rude of him to have pushed her..what a sissy. As a man you just don’t push a girl who is only trying to kiss you -;).

    Point to be noted ‘Shivani mere ko maar dalegi’ – what if Shivani was never to find out about it ? It would have been all fine then.

    Silly girl you should have kissed him when the cameras were not there and there was no risk of shivani seeing anything, then it would have been all fine and you might have got a kiss and maybe a bit more in return.

  9. Gee…Being a crazy young girl!!!!!
    When I was in late teens, i was crazy for Rahul Dravid. Never got a chance to meet him or I too would have been on youtube. 🙂

  10. Arnabda, you missed Brijesh Patel in that 1974 or 1971 series (I don’t remember). A female streaker actually ran on to the field, and according to Gavaskar’s “Sunny Days”, planted a kiss on him DESPITE HIS BEST EFFORTS TO AVOID HER ….. yeah right, a batsman with a bat in hand and a small maiden …..Gavaskar goes on to say that Brijesh later had an interesting story to tell as a background to that incident, but Gavaskar did not want to divulge it in case Brijesh Patel wanted to write an autobio later on in life …. 🙂

  11. Its interesting that all the “kissers” (fans) who targeted the “kissee”s – Dhoni, Ponting and Pathan – did not have any charges filed against them in the police.

    Does that mean that the “kissee”s (is that even a word?) enjoyed the attention and did not feel threatened by such advances?

  12. i was in cal when t5his thing happened! nei kaaj to khoi bhaaj….also telegraph had a sunday special coverage on the major kissing incidents of indian cricket hostory right from abbas ali baig’s starter.

  13. GB…

    What would have happened if a male fan tries to hug and kiss a female celebrity… Straight to Police Station…

    Remember the incident with Shilpa Shetty & Richard Gere

  14. So, finally it came to GB notice that somebody tried to assault Irfan after all . Only since the person in question happens to be a woman we call it an attempt to kiss not assault. Indians are gender-biased after all. 🙂

    @ esbee,
    Irfan was just trying to respect the feelings of a woman. Just that in this case, woman turns out to be his fiancee Shivangi.

  15. I read this in sportstar a few years back
    On SA tour, while Tendulakar was captain, Srinath was fielding at the boundary (as usual). and a female wanted him to autograph her bra. Not the one she was wearing 🙂 The whole crowd behind was teasing him.
    He was mighty embarassed and kept pleading to Sachin for a change of fielding position.
    I clearly remember reading this, not a work of imagination. 🙂
    Anyone heard of this story?

  16. LOL – One of the teams guessed Bapu Nadkarni to which the quizmaster pointedly said “Do you want me to repeat the question”?

  17. @Sumit, Of course! you failed to detect the sarcasm in my comment..Rakhi’s reasons for not forgiving Mika were not exactly similar to Shabina’s reasons..lol

  18. still cackling over this kissa. You sure are well-endowed, milk, yoghurt and everything! Am salivating!! Savita Bhabhi has competition!!! So? you Ponting, me the punter????

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