The following list gives the conversion between “Old politically incorrect term” to the “New politically correct term” so that you may save yourself from fiascos like the Billu Barber “sentiment hurting” controversy.
Barber –> Hairdresser
Tailor –>Fashion Designer
Grocer–>Food Retailer
Pickpocket–>Economic Offender
Snake Oil Salesman–> Research Proposal Writer
Bonded Slave—> PhD student
Incorrigible Gossip –> Blogger
Mujra –> Item Number
Indifference–>Spirit of [insert Indian city name]
Copying–>Internalizing
Spousal Abuse–>S&M
Terrorist –>Misguided youth
Wife/Husband–> Partner
Partner –>Business Associate
Sleeping Partner–> Financier
Casting couch –>Talent show
Pakistan –> Front Line ally in the war on terror
Leching –> Aggressively Appreciating
Fat –> Healthy
Criminal–> Politician
Scary looking woman –> Woman of high moral character
Ugly looking man –> Bachelor of Engineering
Code coolie–> Software Engineer
The Greatbong Blog & Podcast 
“Scary looking woman –> Woman of high moral character”
LOL
“Scary looking woman –> Woman of high moral character”
LOL
me???
bastard –> son of unmarried parents
ass hole –> the posterior cavity of an Equus asinus.
choking during important moments of life –> being south african
prodigal sons –> masters students in usa.
White collared peon… ==> Software engineerr.. [:(]!!
Bashing Girls at Pub -> Protecting Indian Culture
Monkey -> Maa Ki…
Dracula (daayan/chudail)==> [edited] (GB adds: Do you want me to be sued for defamation? No no….)
piracy==> inspiration!!!
more here
http://www.funny2.com/dictionary.htm
Quoting from George Carlin:
rape victim –> unwilling sperm recipeint
Nice…
Ugly looking man –> Bachelor of Engineering
why are u so hard on engineers man/?
LOL @ “Bonded Slave—> PhD student” and “Ugly looking man –> Bachelor of Engineering”!
sweeper/janitor–> Grassroots level sanitation officer
Moron–> Intellectually challenged / Neurologically Disabled
Perennial Holier Than Thou Whiner –> Ricky Ponting (or is it the other way round? 😛
Snake Oil Salesman—> Research Proposal Writer
Bonded Slave—> PhD student
Brilliant!!!!
incorrigible gossip=blogger!!! now now!! somebody knows to take digs on himslef also
Other digs at self:
Snake Oil Salesman–> Research Proposal Writer
Bonded Slave—> PhD student (used to be one some years ago)
Fat –> Healthy
Ugly looking man –> Bachelor of Engineering
LOL! Totally agree with sandeip on Ricky Ponting. Grrr.
Copying — Channelizing (in fashion lingo)
GB, we need politically correct hindi words too. Remember in Ajaa Nach le, the word mochi (not the C word mind you) kicked up a similar storm?
@Chicken: Yes quite forgot that. Aaja Nach Le was definitely a movie for which apologies to the audience were in order but that was not for the lyrics.
Definition of..
Politicaly Correct Nazi:
An ubersensative liberal moron whose taken a not-to-bad idea to it’s absolute ultimate extreme to the point where we can’t say or do ANYthing because it’s not “politicaly correct” and may conceivably offend someone.
From: http://www.UrbanDictionary.com/define.php?term=Politicaly Correct nazi
here I was thinking “Politicaly” should be spelt “Politically”
Great compilation!!! I was meaning to do this since school but you beat me to it.
Looking for more such posts and your trademark movie reviews (instead of all the heavy stuff you are doling out by the dozen in the recent past)
I thought the title meant “Billu, Again & Again” So this is not the long-awaited Hindi remake of Groundhog Day?
Satire is redundant. In India real news has pwned it.
Ha ha ha ha!! I dont know kis baat ka zyada bura manoon!!
Incorrigible Gossip ka ya Ugly looking (wo)man ka!! :D:D:D
But hilarious. very very apt. Loved the euphemism for indifference!! 🙂
GB bhaiya apni khud ki dictionary banao!! :D:D
Thats a nice one!
I particularly like the Tailor –>Fashion Designer. Nice!
arre greatbong, good form, this! 🙂
delusionary > visionary
Too good.
Billu hairdresser
LOL! Indifference–>Spirit of [insert Indian city name] and Spousal Abuse–>S&M were too good 🙂
I am sure Billu the Hair Fashion Superstylist will do just as good.
Seriously, you never know what to expect in this country!
ROFLMAO!!
I followed the link to the word Sleeping partner expecting something funny, but you beat me to it!!!!!!.
Snake Oil Salesman–> Research Proposal Writer
My personal favourite( for reasons I would rather not divulge)
Can anyone pls clarify Spousal abuse —> S&M for me?
Great list GB, may one be permitted to add some as and when they strike?
Thanks 🙂
Hilarious.
@Shivani: S&M is the first entry in this list Wikipedia entry on S&M
I presume spousal abuse need not be explained.
Addition to the list:
layoff -> resource action (that’s what IBM actually says when they fire people!)
@ Bhuto: Thanks 🙂 Much appreciated!
I hope you know that http://www.thinkandgrowballs.com is advertising on your front page. With a tagline that reads “Discover How To Shrink Your Fear & Enlarge Your Courage… Start Now!”
I thought that was more hilarious than this article, which seems inspired (and I mean it literally) by an outstanding piece of comedy by George Carlin.
S&M is Sado-Masochism…If I am correct….for clarifications –
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sado-masochism
hillarious!
With all due respect Arnabda, not all BE/BTechs are frustrated ugly types …LOL ….
An aside:
strangely no Dev D torrents available after 5 days of release of movie, The UTV guys sure did something right and it could not have happened to a better movie.
@ Bong : Hillarious… why dont you put up a notice for NSFW…
This could have cost me my job… 🙂
@joyjit:
Can you give me a good torrent name to download movies. ?
One more Arnab Da,
Talibanistan => Federally Administered Tribal Areas
NO NO NO… u can’t just go from Fat to Healthy. Actually some of them have multiple levels:
Barber –> Hairdresser -> Hair Stylist
Fat -> Chubby -> Plus sized -> Curvy -> Healthy
Terrorist (in kashmir area) -> Freedom fighters
Sleeping partner -> Fuck buddy -> Financier
Bully -> Leader
Bhaiyya log -> U.P./Bihari -> North indians
Madrassi -> South Indian
Wanton girl -> Big brother contestant
Weird movie -> Art film -> Alternative genre movie
Thank you for this one. The PC brigade is at times more pissing off than the moral police
filed fpr Bankrupcy===> Lehman brotha’rd!!
Flop Movie> Critically Acclaimed movie
Crap movie> movie ahead of time
Indian> We are always right
lol
prostitute –> body entrepreneur
rotfl
Rerminds me of my IIT days when
MC became Matri Sambhogi
BC became Bhagini Sambhogi
Ugly looking man –> Bachelor of Engineering
Code coolie–> Software Engineer
Lol…Unfortunately, i’m both a BE and a software engg!
@ Prashant
So you are one ugly coolie 🙂
Bastard = Heritage Challenged
Ahahahah. A few more.
1. Pakistani terrorist = Universal Thespian (Non-State actor)
2. Duplicitous Pakistani politics = Dual role thespian
(like Kishore Kumar in Lookochoori)
3. Pakistani murderor in Paris = “INDO-Pakistani member in Paris”
(Like the movie an “American in Paris”).
1. PAKISTAN THREATENED BY “NON-STATE ACTORS”: SAYS ZARDARI
——————————————————–
[PTI, per Hindusthan Times, 24 Feb 2009]
Under attack from the global community for its inability in containing terrorism emanating from its soil, Pakistan on Monday said the country is threatened by the ‘non-state actors’ and sought China’s help in eradicating the menace.
…. and silly me thinking that the closest to a ‘universal thespian’ were Yul Brynner and Max von Sydow for their command of numerous languages and stellar and polyglot performances in movies of many countries. No, stupid. Its the 1m Pakistani terrorists wielding Kalashnikovs and scimitars !!
2. US SHOULD NO LONGER SUPPORT DUPLICITY OF PAK: US CONGRESSMAN
————————————————————-
[The Hindu, 24 Feb 2009]
An influential US lawmaker has said that the America should no more tolerate the ‘ duplicity’ of the government at Islamabad.
Congressman George Miller charged the previous George Bush administration of ignoring the “dual roles” played by the Pakistani military and intelligence … “In Pakistan, we can no longer suffer the duplicity of that government”
Another Congressman Ed Markey expressed concern over the recent developments in Pakistan including release of A Q Khan and peace treaty in the Swat Valley.
(Again, silly me, thinking that a dual role is akin to Gurudas simultaneously playing the part of Ramakrishan and Banakshepa in the same movie, or Kishore Kumar in Lookochoori. Or Dilip Kumar in Ram and Shyam. Rajendar Kumar did something similar. we Indians have a host of such luminaries on our silver and crayon screens.
But they are all hopelessly outclassed, outenacted (ehhh?) and outwitted by the incomparable genius of that holy trinity, Zardari, Musharraf and Durrani.
“INDO-PAKISTANI” LABEL IN PARIS MURDER DRAWS EXPATRIATE IRE
———————————————————–
(The Hindu, 24 Feb 2009)
Paksitanis are giving us a bad name”, say Indian expatriates
The term is meaningless and its use is unfortunate, says journalist
————————————————–
Paris: French police arrested six Pakistanis, including one woman, after the killing of a French off-duty policeman late Saturday in the Paris suburb of Courneuve. The policeman’s service revolver was found near the garbage bins of the building in which the six Pakistanis live.
However, media — including newspapers, radio and television — citing police sources identified the six arrested people as belonging to the “Indo-Pakistani community”, a term which has angered the Indian community here.
Angry calls
As a result, The Hindu’s office in Paris was flooded with angry calls from the Indian community. “I take great offence at the use of the term “Indo-Pakistani community” to describe people who are purely Pakistani nationals,” said a caller who identified himself as Naresh. “It would be the same if a French or German person arrested in India were to be referred to as belonging to ‘Franco-German or Franco British community’ simply because the two countries happen to be neighbours. The Indian community is completely separate from the Pakistani community and the two have nothing in common. We belong to different sovereign countries.”
A woman caller said: “The Pakistanis here are giving us a bad name. They are involved in all kinds of trafficking and it is suspected that this policeman was in some way linked to an extortion racket with those arrested. We should not be lumped with the Pakistanis simply because we come from roughly the same geographical area.”
Gilles Poux, Communist Mayor of Courneuve, was quoted as saying: “There appeared to be a quarrel between people belonging to the Indo-Pakistani community. Many shops in this busy locality have been bought by members of this community.”
[All of the above can be reviwed by visting samachar.com and viewing the relevant online paper]
You missed out definitions on reality tv shows – especially thunder thigh bhabies dancing their redeemed chance to famedom & easy money. And spoilt brats justifying their young gen attitude
MOST ‘UNFORTUNATE’ NAMES REVEALED
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7909561.stm
What do you call some of the most unlucky people in Britain?
“Justin Case, Barb Dwyer and Stan Still”. It sounds like a bad joke, but .. there really are people with those names in the UK.
Joining them are Terry Bull, Paige Turner and Anna Sasin.
And just imagine having to introduce yourself as “Doug Hole or Hazel Nutt”.
Retired airman Stan Still, from Gloucestershire, said his name had been “a millstone … when I was in the RAF my commanding officer used to shout, ‘Stan Still, get a move on’ and roll about laughing,” he said.
MORE UNFORTUNATE NAMES
Jo King
Barry Cade
Carrie Oakey
The names were uncovered by researchers from parenting group TheBabyWebsite.com
Blind, Lame, Deaf, Dumb- Physically challenged
Mad- Mentally challenged
Fat person- horizontally challenged
Short person- vertically challenged
Cobbler – Shoemaker
Strap snap- wardrobe malfunction
Married- marred
Unmarried- happy
Investment Banker- N/A
Ayan Rand- Ayan CSW ( Commercial Sex Worker)
Skoda Lauda- Skoda Private Organ
‘Pickpocket–>Economic Offender’- this one is the best LOL
I’m surprised nobody mentioned the well known:
Digital Restrictions Management (DRM) -> Digital ‘Rights’ Management
Treacherous Computing -> ‘Trusted’ Computing
War Of Terror (against small oil-rich countries) -> War ‘ON’ Terror
We truly live in the times of Doublespeak, where lies are passed on as truth and honest people (whistleblowers) are termed criminals (witness Julian Assange)