IPL 2.0 Snippet I

Mohammed Kaif [Image: Tribune],ย  Rajasthan Royal (the only team whose owner is a PhD)’s most expensive recruit, is taken to South Africa. He then plays one match against the Cape Cobras, scratches around as he has done for the most part of his career, hits one lofted shot to the boundary and then gets a leading edge to the spinner and walks back.

Next thing he knows he is on the flight back to India, his services no longer needed.

This is even the more shocking because an astrologer had said that Kaif will “rock” this year in the IPL. I presume that means he will be listening to rock music while the IPL is on.

At least it is good to know that while one Kaif is going out, another Kaif, who will definitely provide more entertainment to all, will fly in.

Of course it would be most inappropriate to say that Kaif has been fired. Not at all. Using the euphemistic vocabulary perfected by Indian IT majors none more than this company with whom the Royals have a tie-up, it should be said that Kaifu has most possibly been sun-setted/deprecated and will no longer be maintained.

25 thoughts on “IPL 2.0 Snippet I

  1. Ipod?

  2. “This year I’m sleeping with all of them.”
    Shah Rukh Khan the owner of the Kolkata Knight Riders, provides rather more information than necessary when asked how he plans to get the best out of his team

    ~ masaala for snippet 2?

  3. Savita Bhabhi,

    I read that in the morning. I was saving for that for my first KKR angry rant ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Well, have u seen MTV spoof cheque de India? U must if u havnt.

  5. Best part is, he will still get paid the $600k for this year and next, as the contract was for 3 years.

  6. I am going to support deccan chargers this time around. Since KKR are not playing in india, maybe u can change your loyalties to some other team too.

  7. What’s with the ipod?

  8. @ soundwaste

    GB gives Ipods for posting the first message.
    After posting 12 first messages, he mails tickets for a 7 course dinner at his humble 6 bedroom mansion

    After 24 first message postings, he mails a all-expense/services paid 3 day vacation trip to Hugh Hefner’s “Playboy Mansion”.

    He joins the trip with you.

  9. Rishi
    Welcome back.
    Long time no see? say something on election tamaha.

  10. Welcome back Rishi…long time..

  11. I’d be surprised if the Royals defend their title this time arnd.

  12. @ Savita bhabhi
    That long ?
    I guess so ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ Lalit
    Election tamasha..yeah.
    Was hoping Varun Gandhi will do a smackdown on Rahul baba in WWF arena.

    Hasnt materialized so far.

  13. Kaif will probably start his new rock band “Maggi”, inspired from Rock On!!!

  14. @ Rishi…yeah i have a penchant for word long ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. @ Savita Bhabhi

    “yeah i have a penchant for word long”.

    I can see that clearly.
    Btw, I was going “thick and strong” in Arnab’s previous post “The New London”.

    All mundane stuff. Nothing that might “grab” your interest.

  16. Oh…I missed you….

  17. @Savitha Bhabhi

    Oh I kissed (and hence pissed ) you

  18. @papadakoo…oh ur dreams

  19. Er… I believe Vijay Mallya, owner of Bangalore Kalyani Black Label or whatever, also calls himself Dr. Mallya. Pisses me off no end.

  20. Kaif gets $675,000 for taking a vacation! That’s life at its best!!..What’s more is that in all probability he will get one next year as well ๐Ÿ˜‰

  21. @Mohan –

    “Best part is, he will still get paid the $600k for this year and next, as the contract was for 3 years.”

    Umm..are you sure? So by the same logic people like Ponting will also get money for not playing any matches. This also raises the question of partial contract money. Lets say you play in only 3 matches and get the full contract amount, then this is an incentive for players whose international teams will play cricket during the IPL to have the cake and eat it too – they will play 2/3 IPl games, play for their country and get the full paycheque.

    This also raises the question- is the thought process of IPL bosses like this: “We dont give an f about who plays how many matches and if the disbursement of salary is proportionate to attendance. We just care about the star factor.” If that is the case, then the IPL will collapse in the long run. The reason will be that players will instinctively sense what is going on and start performing per functionally and take every excuse to not play. And the cricket lover will soon realize that this is fake cricket being played and TV will lose viewership. The reason why IPL 1 was a success was due to the level of honest competition. So in this regard the franchise is body which will keep the players honest. It has the incentive to do so. So Kaif going back shows that their franchise is tinkering with tangible parameters like form of a player etc. But of course the management of KKR evaluates things at a different and esoteric level altogether- with Sun Tzu and many many captains. So in case what Mohan said was true, I believe that it is quite possible that Ricky Ponting sensed that he features in a team under a ‘chodu’ management which doesn’t know what its doing and shirked out of IPL2.

  22. @yourfan2….aah…@yourfan2

  23. This is even the more shocking because an astrologer had said that Kaif will โ€œrockโ€ this year in the IPL. I presume that means he will be listening to rock music while the IPL is on.

    A bad PJ, i must say

  24. Yourfan2:

    As far as I understand, you are paid your full amount if you are dropped. The thing is “availability for selection”. If you are not available for selection due to country commitments, injury or due to personal whim (Ponting) you do not get paid. However if you are available and ready and the team doesnt select you, then that’s not your problem for your compensation.

  25. gb: correct.

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