Luck—the Review

39 Comments

Tamang (Danny Dengzopa): Ma Ka Cheeno

Ram (Imran Khan) [correcting him]: Mochachino……

And that my friends was the most entertaining moment of “Luck”, a firm reminder once again that a distributor’s strike, in today’s Bollywood, is a kiss of mercy even though it provides only a brief moment of respite before the floodgates once again open and we are assailed by a deluge of muck.

Like “Luck”.

Yes I know. That rhymed.

Just like:

Major (Mithun-da) : “Mujhe paison ki zaroorat hai”

Tamang (Danny) replies “Mujhe tujh jaison ki zaroorat hai”…

“Luck” is littered with such rhyme crime, clangers that becomes progressively so inane that all you want to do is to shout out, from time to time,” WHAT THE LUCK”.

No this isnt Gunda class. Not even close. Sure. There is a director whose last name is Shah. And there is Prabhuji.

But instead of zen wisdom like “Kyon tu baraf peeta hai whiskey main daalke?” there is boredom as exemplified in ” Kamra kareeb hone se insaan kareeb naheen hoti..”.

Instead of the sheer olfactory brilliance of Prabhu-ji telling Sushmita-Sandwoman in “Chingari”: ” Kitna durgandh a rahee teri shareer se” there are noxious lines like ” Wardi walon ke shareer se ek jaisi boo aata hai. Sach kahoon to bad boo” and “Saanp jaise neule ko dhoondta hai tu usi taraah unko soonkh ke nikaal le“.

Instead of the totally demented scary “amped-up-on-Vitamin Sex”  morally-conflicted but always endearing, legendary Chutiya, there is an apology for a villain Raghav Kapoor (a mass murderer who is released “ba-izzat” because apparently according to Indian law, anyone who is lucky enough to have the rope break during his , even though he be a serial killer, is set free) by “method actor” Ravi Kissen whose sound-byte about the preparation he went through for the role convinced me of just one thing. He indeed is Rakhi’s elder brother when it comes to publicity-seeking “overstatement”.

My character is like many animals rolled into one. Sometimes he’s a hyena, sometimes he becomes a rabbit. I avidly watched the National Geographic Channel for weeks to understand and imbibe animal traits. This is the most complex role of my career, and thank God for my co-stars.

And finally instead of the greatest assemblage of unforgettable characters ever captured on screen as was in “Gunda” there are weird freaks.

A disco Pathan-suit wearing Mussa (Sanjay Dutt) whose luck is evidenced by his surviving running across railway tracks blindfolded during office hours and in walking free after getting booked under TADA.

A hammy Tamang (Danny) whose job description simply is “main insaan ke luck main invest karta hoon”  which is Hindi for saying “I invest in mortage-backed securities and credit default swaps”.

A female camel jockey Short Kut (Chitrashi Rawat) whose dream is to drive a Lexus in Pakistan and play “Shaka Luck-a-Luck-a Boom Boom” Himesh songs full volume in it (mercifully a peace-loving shark takes a bite out of her to prevent her from making Pakistan even more disturbed than it already is).

A bored Mithun-da playing  Jabar Pratap Singh whose bad luck it is to be made to repeat a line (“Koi shaq”) from a very old movie of his after every dialog delivery.

A colorless Imran Khan who should not be blaming his luck for turkeys like “Luck” and “Kidnap” but instead look at his own lack of selectiveness.

Keen readers will note how many times I have used the word “luck” so far. If you think that’s excessive, wait till you see “Luck” [I am counting you won’t].

The word “luck” is the central thesis for the movie is and this fact is driven into the audience’s head with the subtlety of a sledgehammer with one character or the other using the word “Luck” in a sentence, every three minutes.

Why is that whenever Mussa (Sanjay Dutt) want to play a “game of luck” with someone can he dive his hand into the ground and get a gun, as if guns are buried everywhere a few inches below the surface?

The answer is Luck

How come Shruti Hassan inherits her mother’s drop-dead good looks but none of her father’s acting chops?

The answer is once again “Luck”

What did the director possess, besides the ability to execute montage sequences, jump cuts and other done-to-death “sleek” editing tricks, for which even in a time of global recession someone actually put up crores of rupees for such a high-budget Lame-DUCK project?

And the answer is…..

I think you already know.

[Image courtesy: Mid-Day]

Advertisements

39 thoughts on “Luck—the Review

  1. <jots down “Luck” in the list of movies to watch this weekend>

    GB, can you also do a review of Kambakht Ishq? I heard Kareena is playing a super-model and a surgeon.
    <sigh>

  2. commenting first time on your blog
    the good thing about ending of the strike is getting to read all these entertaining reviews on your blog.
    i was seriously missing them.

  3. “mercifully a peace-loving shark takes a bite out of her to prevent her from making Pakistan even more disturbed than it already is.”
    -Priceless!

    Seriously, if it wasn’t for her, maybe the movie could’ve been watchable.

    And in the end when Imran Khan’s heart was found on the right side instead of left, finally “ye to too much ho gaya”.

  4. @Anuj, That plot device I originally encountered in a Byomkesh Bakshi novel “Sojarur Kanta” though I doubt Soham Shah got the idea from there. Or perhaps he did.

  5. o great bong…Just to put the records straight..are you really giving out ipods ? If you are not then please make it clear.

    Too bad I have to download prabhu ji’s movie and then watch it…damn these Australians

  6. Luck has bits of 13 Tzameti and Condemned. But not really, it’s definitely flavored in a different way. Shruti is pretty but hey her Mom was also a brilliant actress…so combo of two great actors is never any good. For one Abhishek Bachchan.

  7. GB, noted the amount of times you have used LUCK here, already starting to get on to the bandwagon that keeps LUCK out of the home…forever!!

  8. Good Lord !
    I thank my stars that I have published my review few days before you. Else surely I would have been blamed that i kinda took inspiration from you 🙂
    Also, for White Feather lovers do check Sanjay Gupta’s comment here.
    GB, uncanny coincidence of usage of similar words and phrases! Anyway what were you expecting from this unKanti Shah who was the Kaalprit ?
    Next on plate would be Acid Factory…….

  9. Yeah, was so full of crap… Soham shah makes movies like Paris Hilton – Ocassionaly good to look at but full of crap… read more on my blog 🙂

  10. Posting for the first time….great blog and thoroughly entertaining (especially during office hours)…… managed to sit through the whole movie and got reminded of “Gunda”….agree that not the same class

    one thing missing from your analysis….Short Kut’s hindi is bambiyaa….am sure Urdu would have not sold with the rickshawallas….guess Mr shah thought that “by luck” no one wold notice the same….

    another movie for the hall of classics….MUST WATCH!!!

  11. @UH:I actually went and read your review coz what with the clever tactic about inserting the link in GB’s post and all. And I realised THIS is what buyers of Zune or Windows Vista must have felt after they got taken in by the marketing!
    No offence, but noone would have accused u of “inpsiration” – there is really no comparision between the 2 reviews. Yours is a decent convenional “fillum review”, the kinds ppl probably read before deciding whether to buy the tickets, and its okay as far as reviews go.But this here is a class tact.
    @GB: The dig at “mortage-backed securities and credit default swaps” was brilliant!

  12. 🙂 I couldn’t help but smile at “What the LUCK…”, because that was the one line that kept running through my head & the sheer overuse of “Luck” throughout the movie felt like they had to remind me every 2 minutes what movie I was watching. Entertaining to say the least.

  13. A disco Pathan-suit wearing Mussa (Sanjay Dutt) whose luck is evidenced by his surviving running across railway tracks blindfolded during office hours and in walking free after getting booked under TADA.

    A hammy Tamang (Danny) whose job description simply is “main insaan ke luck main invest karta hoon” which is Hindi for saying “I invest in mortage-backed securities and credit default swaps”.

    A female camel jockey Short Kut (Chitrashi Rawat) whose dream is to drive a Lexus in Pakistan and play “Shaka Luck-a-Luck-a Boom Boom” Himesh songs full volume in it (mercifully a peace-loving shark takes a bite out of her to prevent her from making Pakistan even more disturbed than it already is).

    A bored Mithun-da playing Jabar Pratap Singh whose bad luck it is to be made to repeat a line (”Koi shaq”) from a very old movie of his after every dialog delivery.

    Those intros were much better than the ones given in the movie…. GB you rock!!

  14. What is the translation of “Vinod Khanna” in English ? It is Clint Eastwood .. was watching “Oye Lucky Oye”, and read the subtitles .. it is hilarious ..

  15. It’s our good luck that Luck was made only so that we can enjoy an awesome review like this! Crores of Rs well spent.

    Loved the Urvashi and Snow Leopard post. Love the new RTDM sleek look and the sleeker GB.

    Udtahaathi: Pardon me but I could not help but see your comment as essentially implying that GB was somehow influenced by your review (“uncanny” resemblance of words). I read through your review and I absolutely agree with Sanjana. There is nothing in it which is even remotely close to GB’s devastating wit and the way he plays with words and sentences, something that I believe is one of his hallmarks. Not just stylistically but contentwise, your review is quite different in terms of what you choose to focus on with the only similiarity being that both the posts are reviews of the same movie.

    Once again repeating Sanjana , I have to applaud you for getting what you wanted… traffic on your blog since definitely Sanjana and I visited your blog and read what you wrote, with perhaps a few others doing the same thing.

  16. A hammy Tamang (Danny) whose job description simply is “main insaan ke luck main invest karta hoon” which is Hindi for saying “I invest in mortage-backed securities and credit default swaps”.

    Awesome line!

  17. “My character is like many animals rolled into one. Sometimes he’s a hyena, sometimes he becomes a rabbit. I avidly watched the National Geographic Channel for weeks to understand and imbibe animal traits. This is the most complex role of my career, and thank God for my co-stars.”

    Kissen doing a Mifune? :O I mean, that’s approximately what the latter did for preparing his roles in Rashomon and Yojimbo!

  18. Amrita,Rohan: Thanks for visiting my blog, reading my review and submitting your opinion/ compliments. Just to clarify, my intention was hardly to compare GB’s class of wit, which like many others I too find superior and unmatched. What I meant was similar observations on the movie, which now I presume was probably rather obvious.
    But, clever marketing only works for curious people.

  19. As awesome and funny review as always!

    I have been silent follower of your blog since few years.

    Your changed pic has presented to me a perplexing poser.

    Is the GB now younger or is the pic older?

    Or you got infected by H-man’s virus just by posting about him?

    😉

  20. I watched it today. I am keen to find out that Indian law part in Luck and with some luck I just might. ROFLMAO! What the luck! Not even close to the shoelace of Gunda. :l

  21. It wasn’t Raghav Kapoor, it was Raghav Raghuvaran. Not that it made any difference in the torture inflicted on us! One of the funniest/stylish-est thing was use of different rap song in the background when all these characters came together. For Mithun Da it was ‘koi shaq koi shaq’ 😀

  22. Pingback: staying.cool » movie-shoovie etcetera

  23. why are you so late with reviews…all the world is done with love aaj kal review…why so late..ami raja sen ke tomar kotha jiggesh korechim twitter e…o response kore ni…tomar review ta hoye gele oke ami link pathatam….

  24. Guru GB,

    Cut these guys some slack. This was more believable than that turkey “Wanted” that employed v.highly paid and talented actors – Ms.Jolie and Mr.Freeman – to play sleepwalkers. Luck had plenty of one-liners and was unintentionally funny in the wrong places. I am impressed that the producers actually paid someone to create this script.

  25. Arnab,
    LUCK has already been jhado-fied by a spanish film named INTACTO. No need to see the film or even read it’s synopsis. Just see its Poster and you’ll see a Sanjay Dutt look-alike running blind-folded with his arms tied behind him.
    I tell you, these foreigners never have any original ideas! KOI shaq?

  26. hey bong, your stuffs simply awesome… I stumbled upon these 2 vids.. see if you find anything intresting bout them… 🙂

    and

    LOL…

  27. Was planning to watch this movie but every time I thought of going for it your review came to my mind haunting me!
    instead watched Love Aaj kal and again god wasnt kind to me…barely came out alive …sad part was missed a Papa CJ live stand up act just to watch this overwhelming piece of trash. Pls also review this classic of Pataudi Jr and Ms Padukone.

  28. Pingback: movie-shoovie etcetera « staying.cool

Have An Opinion? Type Away

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s