Recently the Telegraph, a Kolkata-based newspaper published what I can only consider an attack piece on Bangali men in the same vein that Karan Johar attacked Marathi manoos by using the “B” word in “Wake Up Sid”.
It is just because we Bengali men do not have a Raj Thackeray in our midst that Telegraph can get away with this. In an ideal world, we would have an army of MNS (“Moonmoon and Nirad Chowdhury Shoinyo”) supporters throwing smelly “shoontki maach” in front of Telegraph offices till the said reporter apologized and the paper retracted this insulting article. But since most Bangalis have no energy left over from burning buses and singing along with Babur Suman to protest on the things that matter, namely the vilification and the emasculation of the Bongosontan, nothing like this will happen.
Given that, let me make my humble attempt to frisk this piece as a representative of those who have been so ridiculed.
A significant number of contemporary Bengali men, unlike their forefathers, condemn fish. Excepting ilish, for the men love it too. “I don’t have fish, only ilish,” many men have been heard confessing in a tender moment. Since they love ilish, they will not care if others do so as well.
Now I know that there are a few Bengalis, the same minuscule minority who detest Sourav Ganguly and support Salgaocar in football, who say “ami maach khai na” (I don’t eat fish) and may be prejudicial when it comes to fish. But I can say, no assert, as a representative of the contemporary Bengali man, that just like our forefathers we not only love ilish but also swear by chingri (shrimp) and kaankra (crab), worship our bhetki and bhola maach, lust for small tengra maach cooked with brinjal and salivate over pabda, parshe, pomfret and rui, in the same manner that we do over Roopa Ganguly. The day we cease to do so, Bengal will become like Gujarat in that there will be development and industry. Since that is not so, it shows that we still love our fish. Of all types. QED.
There is also some other innuendo that Bengali men are petty enough to hog the “peti” pieces and more specifically leave the “stricken with thorns” gada pieces to the women. Alas the author knows not the pleasure Bong men derive from munching on fish bones though yes sometimes they do have a nasty habit of getting into the windpipe. If you ever see a Bengali man silent, then that’s possibly the reason why he is so.
A similar Powerpoint presentation will explain why the leg piece of the chicken is also reserved for the man at the table. There is an additional reason here. Growing Bengali boys, who keep growing into growing Bengali boys, need more “protein”, which is good for the “brain”. The “brain”, when encased within the head of a boy, is a collective Bengali obsession. Nurtured by his parents, Horlicks and chicken legs, it will be a potent weapon when he grows up: it will be the highest point reached by a man with a steady, decent job, besides being the embodiment of sex appeal. A Bengali man draws women towards him with his “brain”.
Again I do not see where the problem is. According to legend we like to believe, millions of years ago, when the Great Enlightened One (whom we Bangalis call Jyoti-Babu) made the universe, he asked the Bangali man which organ would be like to be made robust and strong. To his surprise, the Bengali man, perhaps to be contrarian, said “My brain”. And from that time onwards, Bongo-sontaans have stayed away from the light in their dark studies solving “sums” from KP Basu and KC Nag and studying the intricacies of gerunds from Wren and Martin while every other children of man have gone about exercising their powerful organs in more pleasurable ways.
Given the choice that the first Bangali man made, what is the problem if he likes his Horlicks and has a Maltova Mom and has a fondness for chicken legs—why should that be a matter of derision? What is the problem if the second most sold medical product in Bengal is the brain tonic Brainolia (the first being Livosin which no self-respecting Bengali with his chronic stomach problems would ever be caught without).
And before I forget. The chicken leg. Every waking hour the Bangali man leads a meek apologetic life, being flattened like sardines in a sweaty public bus, working low-paying jobs under non-Bangali masters, forced to endure the increasing insignificance of our state to the rest of India. Beaten and bruised throughout the day, when he sits for his dinner, his equally bent and ancient stainless steel plate becomes his castle and empire. There he wants to sit, like a king for ten minutes, his hand balanced on the side of the plate caressing the grains of the rice like a tender lover as his hand sensuously gets wet with the watery daal. It is then that he expects and demands that his chicken not be a size zero Kareena Kapoor bird. Is that too much to ask ?
But men actually look down on women for chewing fishbones. Or for eating green chillis on the side with their meals
Bengali men do not have green chilllis? Really? Dear Telegraph author, what kind of Bengali men have you been interacting with? Do you not know that the first quadrant of the Bangali man’s plate, right next to the leboo (lemon) and salt is the region we call “Sri Lanka” ? (Lanka is Bengali for chilli)
Many men still make that slurping sound as they eat. They sneeze, cough and yawn louder.
Here is a question I want to ask the author. Has he/she ever experienced the pleasure one gets from draining the tea from the cup into the saucer and drinking it with a noisy contended slurp? Note the double-standards dear readers. While the newspapers sex columns will advice the female reader to vocalize her pleasure, the standard are different when it comes to men. Cause if a Bangali man, deriving carnal pleasure from his lau-sukto so much as makes a contented slurp then it is derided as downmarket, sloppy and so very “issshhhh”.
In public, they admire Nandita Das. In secret, they want to be Salman Khan
Please do not generalize. I for one do not admire Nandita Das one bit. For me there is only one. Nandana Sen. And as to our desire to be Salman Khan, thank your lucky stars it is a “secret” desire—-if we started taking our shirts off at every opportunity the sight will not be pretty I tell you.
Once they would only be doctors, engineers or IAS officers. Now they will be MBAs. The rest is “same to same”.
Perhaps this is the only place where the author speaks the truth. Bengali men have two dreams in life—-to lord over others and to not do any real work. Getting an MBA allows them to do both.
Romance means lots of poetry and sublimity
Again this is shown as a negative. Evidently things would be better if we said “chalti hai kya nau se baraah” rather than quoting from Neru-Da, Nero-Da (any bald-headed intellectual) Deri-Da and the great Dero-Da (the bearded one—-Rabindranath Tagore). If indeed this be the case, women only need to say it. We will be equally comfortable singing “Challenge nibi na sala, panga nibi na sala” if that is what is needed to get the Suchitra Sens today all warmed up.
Which doesn’t take away from the fact that few Bengali men look good in jeans and a tee. For the same reason, they seem to be rolling on the dance floor. From where they are often not picked up. Understandably.
Don’t make me laugh. Bengali men do not know how to dance? Two words. Tito De. I challenge Prabhu-Deva to do Sukhen Das’s belly dance in “Hoyto amake karu mone nei” or Hrithik Roshan to execute Tapas Paul’s “Jai Baba Phootballnath” jig in as graceful a manner. If there is anyone who can out-dance a Bangali man it is one Gauranga Chakraborty better known as Mithun-da. Oh wait I forgot. He too is a Bangali.
For a video demonstration of the Bangali male dancing style, I ask you to watch this.
They think growing hair on their upper lip will make them more “manly”.
Yes right. All Bangali macho men have hairy upper lips—Uttam Kumar, Soumitro, Biswajit, Tapas Pal, Bumba-da? Right? Wrong. Let me say dear Telegraph writer, if you are looking for a region where the mustache is worshipped you are in the wrong part of the country.
Dressed as they are in their executive suits, they are often sighted at a sweet shop gorging on langcha, mishti doi or telebhaja at the para shops, looking guilty, before returning home from work.
While men from other parts of the country would go for comfort to a female friend, this act of eating sweets and oily fries is the most egregious expression of rebellion against marital authority that a Bangali man will show. Yes that is the sad plight of the Bangali male. From the mid 30s onwards, the Bangali body, not a marvel of engineering at the best of times, starts developing some problems arising out of a lifetime of sugar coursing through its veins both from rosogolla as well as from Subinoy Roy’s syrupy Rabindrasangeet and also from more than a bit of cholesterol accumulating in its plumbing not to speak of the whale blubber that cover the six-packs.
This is when their Bengali wives start “monitoring their diet”. Which shorn off the euphemism essentially means that they impose a regime of healthy eating at home through a series of measures even the Stasi and the KGB would find excessive. And it is to break those strict controls that scores of Bangali men stand in front of mutton roll shops or “mishtir dokaan”, furtively looking over their shoulders, as they bite into a chomchom or a Kobiraaji cutlet with the guilt and a fear of a married man going to a house of ill repute.
Now reading this piece, one would be surprised that this is the case. Cause according to the learned author, Bangali men totally dominate their women giving them the bad pieces of fish, making them do the dishes, being boorish and chauvinistic. Nothing can be further from the truth. In a Bangali family, it is the lady who cracks the whip and while the husband may be granted the odd bit of license like getting the gossip page of the newspaper first thing in the morning, on the things that matter the Bong woman is firmly in control. Of course the Telegraph plays up to stereotypes of the coy and submissive Bangali wife, oozing with sensuality and all eye-fluttering femininity. In reality, the Bipasa Basu thing is only an act and within a few years of marriage, Bangali women reveal their true selves and become a Mamata or Matangini Hajra.
Which brings me to the last line of the article.
The Bengali boy’s mother thinks he’s “flawless”. He secretly agrees.
The truth is slightly different. The Bangali’s “mama’s boyness” which is being lampooned here is essentially a concomitant of his being afraid of women. Before marriage, he is mortally scared of his mother as he is forced to, whether he likes it or not, to become a “khokon sona” . Then he gets married and a power struggle ensues. The wife is pissed at the son’s unquestioned subservience and the mother’s insistence that the son, being a reflection of the mother, is perfection personified—a sentiment reflected in this Telegraph piece. What it misses (mischievously no doubt) is the mother’s perspective as she rues how her son has become “distant” and “different” after marriage. Very soon brass utensils are being banged a bit too loudly, poisonous glances are being exchanged, mother tells son to “stand up and take control” (i.e. listen to your mother) while the wife says “How long are you going to let others take your decisions for you? Be a man” which is Bangali woman-speak for “Worship my every word”.
Torn between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (which is which I leave to the judgment of readers) the Bangali man sits at the dinner table, looking down at his plate, morosely biting into the chicken leg or the “peti” fish piece with the weight of the world on him, from the peasants of San Salvador and Singur to whether he should wear the punjabi his mother presented him (but wife says “It’s …mm….okay) or the Chinese collar shirt wifey insists looks smart on him (but mother looks and says “Does not bouma’s brother also have one of these?”) for Ashtami dinner.
And it is at this poor Bangali man that the Telegraph author unleashes his/her sarcastic bile , grudging him his only diversions—a bit of extra meat or fish or the privilege of massaging his pot belly or of liberally applying talcum powder to avoid “ghamachi” (prickly heat), a disease he hates even more than the common cold.
Shame on you. Chi chi. Khoob dushtu tumi. Very naughty you are.
[Picture courtesy Abhik Ranjan]
The Greatbong Blog & Podcast 
whoa first one to comment
i will read the article now
2nd
So true…so true…used to notice all my Bong friends in school skim over sentences and math problems like a bee buzzing from flower to flower, pollinating everything inbetween. Well observed and well written too.
“…Bongo-sontaans have stayed away from the light in their dark studies solving “sums” from KP Basu and KC Nag and studying the intricacies of gerunds from Wren and Martin while every other children of man have gone about exercising their powerful organs in more pleasurable ways”
To call Bengalis male-dominated is an insult to Robi Thakur! For has not Gurudeb said that Bengalis are truly a matriarchy, and that man who sides with his mother before marriage and his wife and mother-in-law after it shall live in happy contentment all his life? I am shocked and appalled that The Telegraph would scorn these learned words to wilfully. Chhi chhi.
😀
satirical, critical and a nice fun read!
I totally stand for all bengali men. Down with this article in the telegraph.
Hilarious… and sadly very true 🙂
One of your very best articles if not the best.
Thanks Great Bong for defending the now endangered “Bangali Bhodrolok” !
I think the author forgot to take his/her daily dose of “Brainolia”, thereby getting all the facts wrong and writing this “Bhul-Bhal” article.
Sorry! But the article developed reasonably well only in the latter half of it. I guess too much of anything spoils…..if you care to take it positively Arnab-da.
Fundoo post Saar! A fitting reply..!
OMG! Awesome! But I must say you should have mentioned “The Brain” instead of just “the brain”. It is of more importance you see.
And what about the “mete” when mutton is to be had, for more vitamins and protiens?
🙂 its good to see you back. The unimitable Bengali Man with the right Brains.
Awesome! It should of course be “The Brain” and not just ‘the brain’, but since the rest of the article had me laughing out loud dangerously in office… I will let that pass 😀
Wonderful, Mr Bangali Bhodrolok with Brains!
:-). i was waiting for this one after the telegraph list…..and no doubt turned out to be even more hilarious than the original
Mithin is looking more and more like Obama with every passing day
“In reality, the Bipasa Basu thing is only an act and within a few years of marriage, Bangali women reveal their true selves and become a Mamata or Matangini Hajra.”
Soooooooo true my best Uni mate married his Gf (both bongs). Lo and behold…the cool hippie gym freak pothead male model turned into a remote controlled cheap chinese toy car..with no switch off button. It was terrifying.
Another dude married a non-bong but alas no escape..the non-bong was brought up in cal..so back to the doghouse..something about the weather i guess…or maybe something to do with the respect for women absolutely drilled into bong boys.
Too much respect leads to slavery.
“working low-paying jobs under non-Bangali masters…”
LOL .. low pays are due to lack of pro business environment in state!!
Hi GB,
Both the newspaper article as well as your blogs are a treat to read! ..enjoyed it so much……
Regards,
Sowmik
Wonderfully written. But I ruefully wonder why bongs are against non-bongs!
Brilliant Prose.
Shared on Reader.
Oh God, GB, this was so hilarious! Going to wipe off my tears of laughter now, before colleagues think I’m crazy.
GB, when one thought you have already produced your best, you come up with something better! This was priceless!!!
@ Suddhasheel Bongs are not against non-Bongs at all. They just believe in two things.
1. What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow
2. Hindustanis (non-Bongs) are vegetarians, and hence cant claim to be better. This of course is due to the sad exposure mainly to Marwari families. Many South Indians have been taken to Calcutta’s bosom and are not considered inferior at all.
Now, if you are brought up with these two dictacts, is it not to be expected that Bongs prefer Bongs? Afterall, who else loves their rui, ilish and Tagore as much?
Same goes for any group you look at.. Gultis, Mallus, Gujjus, Tamils, Punjabis, Marathis all have dedicated critics and their share of ‘traits’. Great job defending. But you must admit, Kolkata is probably the only place where ppl would say ‘Dada should hit a century but India should lose against Bermuda’. Atleast half of the ppl in my Kolkata office were of the same/similar view, the rest were either not keen on cricket or not bongs.
N ya hilarious post and as usual a very special pic there..is it an imaginary kalashnikov he is tryin or an iron jack plane!?
G.B! Superb. Please send this link to The Telegraph reader’s mails section. I wondering if this a retaliatory article of the Anando Bazar Group menfolk where I guess Sananda and the Anandalok girls and offcourse ‘Mokkhirani’ rule the roost.
Loved : ‘Mamata to Matangini Hazra’ & ‘Moonmoon Nirad Chowdhury Shoinyo’.
“And from that time onwards, Bongo-sontaans have stayed away from the light in their dark studies solving “sums” from KP Basu and KC Nag and studying the intricacies of gerunds from Wren and Martin while every other children of man have gone about exercising their powerful organs in more pleasurable ways.”
One of your best articles ever, if not the best! The above takes the cake! Growing up in a small town in Bihar about 250 km or so from Kolkata, these have been my fate during those years! LOL!
Bengali men take themselves too seriously:) one can make out by seeing so many replies…
sat koti sontaner hey bimugdho jononi, rekhechey bangali korey manush to koroni. baba use to say these words when maa used to pamper me, just felt like that when I read the article, eventualy you came to our rescue man!
Superb. One of the best ones in recent times. Outclasses the article.
How dare they!! Kumar Sanu’s wrath be upon them!!!!
Brilliantly written. Reminded me of how much i am missing my double egg chicken roll.
I would like to draw the attention of relevant authorities to IIM Calcutta. Someone please tell the buggers that it’s Kolkata. We need a Raj Thackeray here!
@dips
3rd generation marwaris like me do admire tagore, ray and rosogollas!
great read!!! you have as usual been brilliant!
one for posterity,
bravo
encore
excellent!
also,bong men have grown to use brains,pschologically manoeuvre like women than use muscle power.
they express themselves better on paper.
mostly try to weasel out of the situation than confront it.
hence,more often than not,take the course of custom tied arrange marriage.
will take ur article as diwali sondesh.
bhalo boy!
cheers
For God’s sake please get yourself some sense of humour!
One needs to be completely secure in their image to be able to take a joke on them.That was a funny article on Telegraph just like any other funny article or jokes aimed at many others.We never hear the Sikhs complaining about the numerous jokes at them.
We all know what great men we had from Bengal and we also know that Bengal produces some of the most brilliant people in the country.So please learn to be proud and take a joke once in a while and laugh along.
@Rakhi,
“For God’s sake please get yourself some sense of humour!”
Thank you. And likewise 🙂
Also it would be helpful to get your facts straight.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7126184.stm
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/Mumbai/Sikhs_ask_cops_to_ban_Sardar_jokes_on_Net/articleshow/1776258.cms
Ok,so I agree,I did not know the facts and by that I mean I did not know two random incidents in five decades of having joked about Sardars.
But hey we are all trying to be reasonable and I can see no reason as to why if some article is trying to make fun of stereotypical Bengali guys, you guys go ahead and make a larger than life issue out of it and basically prove the fact that every guy is indeed like the guys described in that article.
I am not saying that all Bengali guys are like that and in fact coming from a Bengali background myself,I know how they are.They are smart,witty and all that jazz.But by writing all this and creating a ruckus,you guys are just making yourselves look bad.That’s all.
Absolutely hilarious post. I was expecting a fitting reply from your side ever since I read the article in The Telegraph.Thank you GB, for upholding the pride of the “Bangali Bhodrolok” 🙂
Well written…But I think I agree with Rakhi too…
Personally, I loved both of them…quite hilarious!! (Even tho, might I add that I don’t agree & disagree with either of them..)
but I would be proud to say that I am a bengali, not because of the above mentioned or un-mentioned facts… But because I am mighty proud of who I am and what my Bengali ‘Culture’ entails…& I can laugh about it just as much I would laugh about any other cultural stereotype..
And not to mention, a true bengali would rather enjoy the literary talent.. than get too consumed into petty regional prejudices…
How will you better this one huh??
I think it’s all right to alright to object to that story(or any other thing). And a reply with satire in it is a good take. I am sure the post has not been written in offense and Arnab da has put the point forward in the best. Moreover, being a Bengali himself, it’s his right to evaluate so direct and generalized an article about Bengali culture and people. I would like to follow the same approach if someone questions similar things about people from my region. Blogs and overall the life would be dull without constructive and humorous objections and discussion.
Clearly the telegraph canard is just another brick in the BNC (Bango Nari Conspiracy) wall diligently built over centuries to stave off competition from NBW (Non Bengali Women). And given the value of what BNC is hiding behind that wall, can you really blame them? Here is what BNC will never tell NBW –
1. So much of a Bengali man is about food. He can’t a) starve to death and b) get used to microwave dinner. Just pretend you can’t cook, or even better, make a terrible mess for just three days. You will get a free personal chef for the rest of your life.
2. Food again. Being genetically stingy and chronically underpaid by NBB (Non Bengali Bosses), he can’t afford to eat out every night. See 1.
3. If he tries to assign dish-washing responsibility to you in the name of fair division of labor, break his favorite mutton-cooking pot into pieces or make sure the pressure cooker never works again. You will be set free.
4. After shopping, flutter your eyelids and express sincere concern about his ability to carry all the bags, given his ultra-thin wrists. For the rest of his life, he will carry up to fifteen bags without a single complaint. He may fall behind a mile or so, but will never drop a single bag.
5. Repeatedly remind him how good he is with kids. Rest is history (his story).
6. Totally focused on Maths and Physics, he flunked high school biology classes, so he knows nothing about paternity tests. And if he ever wonders how come his five year old daughter/son is stronger than him, blame it on recessive genes. He will nod knowingly.
7. He will happliy watch with you your favorite chick flick if you tell him that it’s an art film and got great reviews in a French magazine.
8-10. Diabetic and guilty-faced, he will always go down under. Happily. And will stay happy no matter how long the flight takes. And, no, we are not talking about that one time when he spent his entire retirement account to watch England playing Australia at MCG.
Hashte hashte pet e byatha hoye elo.. dushtu tumi!! 😀 😀
First, they refuse to admit that Netaji lives and will return . They persecute Bengalis, deny them all the glory that is due to the Bongo-santaan. Then they drop Dada from the team. And now this article in TT… its the latest edition in the age-old anti-Bong conspiracy against us by all non-Bongs of the country
Arnab, are you telling me that the awesome Tito, he of the mile long afro, and appearance in every Saroj Khan choreographed dance was Bangali? When I read that article the dance thing struck me the most – because I immediately thought of Prabhuji and the deep sense of hurt and pain this irresponsible statement would cause all Prabhu-bhakt
Prabhu jir shongey challenge nibi na saala!
That upper lip hair affliction is decidedly not a Bengali problem – not even in the villages where you’d expect such tributes to macho-ness.
I think the Telegraph article was a bit unnecessary. Why pick on Bengali men when some of these traits are displayed by all men. The rest is just nitpicking – as the author of this piece points out, I’d rather be serenaded by poetry than “chalti hai ka nau se barah”! 🙂
This was hilarious. What a fitting response to the Telegraph article hahaha! 🙂
@Rakhi
I think you need to go through the archives of this blog to understand the spirit of this post. This is GreatBong brand of wit, sarcasm and humour — take a chill pill!!!
Firsssttt from bottom !!
@lalita
Wasn’t that premature?
Again first
Telegraph journalist, if you are still hell bent on knowing what we thought of your piece – “Shame on you. Chi chi. Khoob dushtu tumi. Very naughty you are.”
As a non-Bengali who has lived most of his life in Calcutta, I found this article to be extremely witty and correct. In fact, I found the piece more interesting and humourous than the one in The Telegraph, where I have worked twice. Great work! Keep it up!
I didnt get whats this Ipod funda?
Why people ask for ipods if they comment frst
Excepting ilish, for the men love it too. “I don’t have fish, only ilish,”
Man….this is quite close to name of the guy Fakhi Fawant is dating these days.
Gurudev ke dari-da bolaa ???? dara , tor hochhe. CBI toke Nobel churi-r jonyo dhorbe
Rakhi ,
Are You from the Sawant Clan?? I doubt so..
Chicken egg roll, Double egg chicken roll – for every bong worth his chicken leg piece, Telegraph got it completely wrong.For the strong bong the double egg chicken gives him double energy to go back home and face the double music from the great bong ma and bouma !
critically if given an after ….
after livosin and branolia …what comes next….?
my brownie points for arnica plus triofer (triple action hair vitalizer)….
bhaisahab exceptional writing. phod liya.
yahan Rakhi naam ki mahila kahin Rakhi Sawant toh nahi?
Arnab,
This article’s a gem. I am indeed missing much of the mentioned dishes in Mexico City. I’ll send a buck to anyone who can reccomend a good Indian grocery store in this place; I’ve had no luck. My girlfriend (from the US) calls Ilish “stinky fish” and states that she nearly threw up from the smell when it was served in Calcutta. I, of course, along with my very ‘saheb’ first cousin devoured enough to give us ‘ambol’ all afternoon. About food: you missed ‘fish head’ or ‘maacher muro’, which is a must for the Brain. For the uninitiated, this means eating the eyes, and then sucking the brains out with a slurp. Disgusting, yes, but delicious? Yes!
Vasabjit
The Telegraph should hire you as a columnist – it would double its sales overnight! 🙂
Hey u forgot “Joaner aarok ” while listing most sold bengali medical products 🙂
@ Vasabjit Banerjee
Next time you bring your girlfriend to Kolkata, don’t forget to feed her Sutki Maach. She will never again call ilish ‘stinky’ 🙂
as far as the mahatto ( greatness) of fish head is concerned, this may just be an useful information…
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1091015/jsp/calcutta/story_11615582.jsp
Hence proved
man, u cud be speaking for my part of town: Kerala. Only difference being that there we do worship the pussy tickler above the lips…
weird article .. we have a general impression of the bangali man being hen pecked and here this telegraph reporter writes all this ..
Vintage stuff…kudos…
two words – Nandana Sen….. maaannnnn kyaa cheeez cut piece…..boss, she is bloody something……amazing figure, amazing….
Nice one. It was great to see you take on the Telegraph writer for his highly flawed analysis. How those pieces of crap get published on reputed newspapers is not in my understanding!
Brilliant read
hEY ..!! Has the author ever counted the no of bengali scientist or research student or students doing higher studies across India? I think that one no is enough to convince the girls to marry bengali boys..so guys! dont care..You are the best!!! Since you sit on the top,they try to pull you down giving stupid reasons..
The article in the Telegraph: So true, sooooo true. The responses: not so much. They live in a Bengali man paradise. By the way, Hey Telegraph reporter, get in touch with me, you have missed a few very important traits of the proud, bashful Bangaali babu.
Simply fatafati…
jata level…guru tumi k?
offtopic but useful info: there is consumer protection association CGSI in mumbai …which provides kits for testing Milk adulteration(Rs.35) and Food adulteration(Rs. 100).
I wonder why such useful products are so difficult to procure!!!
http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report_check-milk-adulteration-at-home_1171217
This was a fine read and truly helped me gain more perspective about myself 🙂
GB after reading this post again I feel this was probably the most brilliant uptil now this year. bhery nice!
Khub Khub Khub bhalo likhechen
I think you missed a couple of things. With Branolia and Livosin should come dulal chandra bharer taal michri, arnica plus triofer, deys medical keo karpin, and…..Glandiner. Look the last one up.
Livosin and Brainolia !!! Hilarious…ROFL
I remembered reading the post in The Telegraph and chuckling to myself, but this post is simply “bepok” 🙂
“Jai Baba Phootballnath”
Arnab, Could you please direct us to a link on the web featuring this musical masterpiece?
Hi G.B!
Please give your views in the defense of La Dada who refused to appear for Bigg Boss current season inspite of being offered a blank cheque! And guess who took up the task .. Tha Kaka – Rajesh Khanna. Bangalore Mirror printed a nice cartoon of the bimbo and Rohit, both daydreaming on the prospects of seeing Dada without shirt.. now, they will have to come in terms with Mr. Khanna!
And also please watch the clippings if you can, of the special interview of OC Atindra (on that very day)by Star Ananda channel, after he was released by the Maoists. This took place on his terrace complete with audience and inane questions such as ‘how his mother felt when he was captured?’ and ‘what kind of food he used to eat’ with ‘footnotes’ running under the screen that steel utensils were used to serve food! The Govt. however took the cake in these events as the official debriefing/interrogation (word picked up from reading too many thrillers) happened 3-4 days later!! They could have simply watched the programme!
How could they allow such an interview to take place is a bigger point to ponder. Any takes on that? I was also dumbstruck by the fact that the families of policemen who have lost their lives or are missing must be watching this circus of tv.
phata phati stuff, to put it mildly this made my day. Now all i need is to make sure my better half reads it.
The pacifist (matha phatiye debo) bong man completely domina(n)t(ed) is under represented in this mean wide world. A big step for bongkind.
Netaji would be proud.
“Neru-da and Deri-da” amazing detailing Greatbong! 🙂
Cholbe na, cholbe na
Signed,
The Greater Bong (The women of course)
too good.. probably one of your best piece ever.
While I agree to most of it, need to strech my imagination and sense of humour a bit too much to compare Tito with Prabhu Deba..but that’s not to say Bengali men lacks their dancing skill.. the guy doing the Dayal Baba ( if you haven’t watched the video yet, watch it on You Tube now) dance can serious ly be a challenge to many..
I really enjoyed reading this piece (incidentally, the Telegraph piece and your rejoinder were forwarded to me by a Bong girl friend of mine). Though I am not Bengali, the ‘problem’ has a universal feel
We actually need to discount everything that is published by the great ANANDABAZAR GROUP starting from their unabashed support of DR ( sic!) Mamata Banerjee to their lively pieces on upholding righteousness and virginity written by Aparna Sen ( married as known to the world 4 times). The articles are biased, not researched, erroneous and to say the least not grammatical ( unputdownable or whatever). I had the misfortune of subscribing it for 2 days before switching over to a national newspaper. The 28-30 pages of nonsense are however proving very handy as wrapping paper for my slippers when I am on tour.
I laughed so much…!!!
Beautifully written. I personally sent an e-mail to the editor voicing my distaste against the main article, which in an attempt to be humorous bordered on offensive and judgmental. I applaud your article and being a pure bred Bangali salute your defense against a very poor attempt at humor.
Amazing stuff. Am a Bong, who’s never lived in Bengal, but this is Bong hilarity at its best. Cheers 🙂
“Yes right. All Bangali macho men have hairy upper lips …”
well sorry to say but there is no such thing as “Bangali macho men”, Bengali men and masculinity just don’t go together. Hopefully u guys one day come out of your mom’s anchal, cause frankly girls like guys who have some masculine traits like having guts to stand up for themselves. Ever wonder why so many bengali girls go with boys of other communities but very few girls of other communities marry bengali boys.
hebee article GB….HILARIOUS…long long time since i read an article and burst out into belly laughter…the khokhon shona comment was outstanding…so many of my prospective grooms have fallen into that category 😀 its gud fun to read every word and nod sagely and say ‘shoteee’…you may like to add in another article if u write on this topic as to how they will decorate the outside of their plate with the machher kaata and then give a satisfied dekhur..ha ha. too much and i can go on and on…to end..’joto shob kando’..
The Bengali does this and does that. OK, accepted that he has his shortcomings. He loves fish, sweets and tele bhaja. Is that such a big deal? Bihari men love their litti pani, Gujrati men their dhoklas and so on. Food habits are region specific. It seems that the fish diet of Bengalis is the reason of scorn for other races. Scientifically proved, fish is a far better food than the rubbish the rest of India gulps in the name of food.
Bengalis value their intellect. They want to be employed in jobs which require exercise of the mind. While Bengalis themselves should be proud to see more of their numbers joining the armed forces, the author’s observation of lazy Bengalis is yet another myth. The average Bengali farmer toils from dawn to dusk, as they don’t have the power to purchase modern equipments. So do many others. Bengalis are many things rolled into one and that gives essence to their creativity. More than three decades of bad politics have no doubt put the Bengalis on a lower pedestal. But it will not be long before we see a turn around.
@ sugato mitra
“It seems that the fish diet of Bengalis is the reason of scorn for other races”.
I didnt know there was a Bengali race.
How much do I have to run to be in the Bengali “race”.
“Bengalis are many things rolled into one and that gives essence to their creativity”.
Tell me somebody who is not :).
easy mate.
Who has written this?
fatafati!
simply hilarious!!
i2 feel v irritated whn t2 columnists pick on bengalis for no apparent reason!!
bt the way u replied is outstanding!!
lovely sense of humour!! 😀
Your writing has given me a lot of inspiration to start writing myself. Hope my readers don’t blame you for the ‘atrocities’.
P.S. The last part of this mail has helped me understand my Bong wife a lot more… 🙂
Very nicely written….don’t know how much of you all agree with it….according to me bengali men are very strong mentally and have enough respect for women……some families are dominated by female and i agree with it……be a mama’s boy by loving,respecting her but don’t do everything what she says,i agree that we are not macho types like the punjabis and delhiites but does it make a difference to our personality,we love fish,chicken and other non vegetarian food so what….may be the strictly vegetarian people can’t digest it….we all men are and ahould be proud of our bengali roots…dat’s it
Yup.I do agree with all that has been written.Only thing its very rare of a bengali man winning the fight at home and then living a peaceful life for next few days.Unless he appologises for even he is not wrong..So summary of the story “No matter how much we fight..we eventually have to live with them”
Sumeet basu: “i agree that we are not macho types”
Who says Bengali men are not macho? To find the answer to my question…
Just read the online book on my blog
Sanghatik article ta… r to d telegraph columnist.. from Byomkesh Bokshi to Pheluda everything happened thru ‘The Brain’ (Mogojashtro)… kajei otake choto korben na…
good article written by telegraph.came to this blog while searching for other things.if bengali men doesnot marry it will be helpful for us.have you forgotten that our city won the first nobel prize of the entire british empire-1902.asia’s first nobel in literature,physics,economiocs also has come to this city.the besy physist of east-satyendra bose(whose work has won atleast half a dozen nobel prize,the latest in 2001 when 3 won for bose einstein condensate.and in various ranking by amazon.com list-25th,lev landau rated him at second with newton,wigner and all fathers of quantum).second one is polymath jc bose-father of radio.microwave optics,solid state physics,electronic response in metal and a pioneer in plant biology.ever since IEEE has publised his work on coherer and wireless telegraphy he has become a phenomenon in america and most of europe among science community.dr subhas mukhopadhya-vitro fertiliztion or test tube baby creator for which nobel prize was awarded in 2010,but he died in 1981-two other chembridge scientist who did same work in 1978 one of them one the prize(his co researcher also died in 1988).so a total; of 6 nobel prize directly from bengal(I have included bangaladesh also) and three genuine nobel prize winner who missed out(SN BOSE AND SUBHAS MUKHOPADHYA DIED BEFORE THEIR WORK WON NOBEL+JC BOSE).and most importantly all these men have done their work in bengal-not even in europe or america(although amartya sen did his research in abroad).we are still bragging these men-so instead of thinking those crap who wil marry whom-think when one of us will become next satyendra bose or jc bose.and remember swami vivekananda was not married.
and two of the greatest scientist of all time sir issac newton and nikola tesla remained lifelong bachelor.be proud for our heritage because most of first world’s city hasnot produced so many nobel prize winners or likes those legendary scientist-and also think about future.
Hello, I’m from Khulna, Bangladesh. I’m a Bangali and Bangladeshi and very proud. I love Kolkata, as I consider it my 2nd home. I’m very proud of my language, culture. I like to eat Fish very much. I’m very surprised to see that article of the Telegraph. The article is not only biased but also very politically incorrect. I think, the columnist is somehow racist and sexist or may be he/she has some hidden agenda or may be he is insane. How can a newspaper like the Telegraph publish article like that? We are all human-being. May be our skin is dark but blood is red. Nobody should hate other races or nations. Everybody should to be peaceful and respectful to other people. We are Bengali but we should not hate other nations. But we should have our dignity. If someone is trying to downgrade, we should protest, because, we have rights to protest peacefully with our intellect (the Bengali Intellect which has been developed by eating good foods, such as: Fish). And I would like to thanks GB for this blog. It is very nice to protest peacefully here, as we Bengalis have “The Brain”. Its much better to protest this way rather than fighting with bamboo-sticks, as we Bengalis believe in non-violence. That doesn’t mean that Bengali people are coward. In 1971, Pakistanis killed more than 3 to 5 million Bengalis. But Bengalis didn’t kill any Punjabi, Shindhi, Baluchi, Bihari and other Pakistani nations or tribes. How many Pakistanis were being killed by Bengalis? Look, Bangladesh still keeps diplomatic relation with Pakistan, not because they are Muslim, but Bangladeshi people know how to forgive. Can anybody show any example like this? Behold, there are many Bengalis are being killed in Tripura. Why? Only because, they are Bengali. Bengalis are one of the most intelligent nations not only in Asia but also in the whole World. We Bengalis know how to sacrifice our lives for our mother-language, our motherland and our culture. We Bengalis don’t have particular religions but we respect all religions. We Bengalis love Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Muhammad, Nanak, Kavir everybody. YES, WE LOVE OUR MOTHERS, OUR MOTHERLAND “MAA BANGLA”, OUR MOTHER TONGUE “BANGLA”, OUR GODDESS “MAA DURGA”. Does anybody have problem with it? If somebody has any problem, I would like to suggest him to go to see a very good psychiatrist. Our culture is unique. We Bengalis are patriotic, free-thinkers, liberal, universal, modern, rational, scientific-minded and civilized. We Bengalis are not racist, not sexist. We are educated, not ignorant. We know how to respect others. If someone is saying something bad about us that proves that he/she is jealous. We love Fish, we eat Fish, we ate Fish before, we will eat Fish, we won’t stop eating Fish. Because, WE ARE BENGALI AND WE ARE PROUD. Does anybody have problems? JOY BANGLA
Please, read this article: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bengali_people
Hey everybody read this blog. The blogger of that blog is saying that Bengali men are wimpy: http://wewereallthereonce.blogspot.com/2005/10/on-bengali-men-wimpy.html
Guys please read this article: http://www.tehelka.com/story_main45.asp?filename=hub100710bengalimen.asp
Bengalis are the second largest single ethnic group in the world.
Guys read here is another Bongophobic blog!
http://ramblingsbybones.blogspot.com/2009/04/kolkatans-who-are-these-people.html#idc-container
Here is another Bongo-phobic blog. Read it please!
http://forums.sulekha.com/forums/wo-men/bengali-men-and-women-198745.htm
Dada, Byapok likhecho! Ekke’re phataphati! 😛
just 1% of our own lady folks are lowering the prestige of the whole community. why Govt of India is not initiating human slavery cases against the haryan, rajasthan & western UP inhabitants who “bought” bengali girls. it is a systematic approach of hindustanis to degrade bengalis since the time of nehru, who is certified anti-bengali. a systematic approach is going on to defame- degenerate bengali boys to gain control over bengali girls. in fact non bengali man, particularly hindustanis are more violent against woman. in spite of that just 1% examples, like- sharmila thakur,jaya bhaduri, rakhi etc instigating others to hunt for bengali girls. this is fueled by some (1%)calcutta girls too who fights with parents & eloped with non-bengali morons. this actualy made them stereo-typed and ultimately people starts thinking negative about bengali boys.
we certainly need raj thakrey
no govt of WB ever made their voice against the discrimination & name calling of bengali passengers travelling through bihar. i am daily passenger in Patna- Buxar route and witnessing daily harassment of bengali passenger in Bengal or Delhi bound trains. whereas bihar govt is taking up the issues of bihari bashing in Bombay or Delhi very seriously and judiciously. even CM taking personal interest in kidnapped sailors in Somalia. have you ever anything from any Govt of WB?
bihar Govt is very proud of their citizens working outside of bihar and organized many functions for them, whereas Bengalis of bengal condemns probasis leaving in other states of India but welcoming even beggars of other states in their state (that’s why not a single protest about demo-graphical changes unlike Maharashtra or Assam).
i am very pessimist about the future of bengali race as a whole.
@debashis
why are so much concerned about girls?they will not bring any laurels to bengal.ignore those things.but u r right about bengali culture being destroyed ever since we have mixed with bunch intellect deluded irrational fools from rest of india.the bengal renaissance which took place during british era happened just because bengal was an independent society at that time.nowdays it’s not possible to produce atagore,jc bose,sn bose in calcutta.if person like subhas mukhopadhya comes once in 50 years,he has to commit suicide-alas!
this is sad to see this type of propaganda. very unfortunate.
being a kolkata based newspaper, telegraph is involved in this kind of shameless bollywood type advertisement against male part of bengal. this makes me sick.
telegraph, please let us know, who is the writer?
Most of the famous Bengali men were unmarried or married with white or Jew.Vivekananda,P.C Ray ,Manilal Bhowmick were all unmarried;Economist Amartya Sen is married with Jew,Another famous one Partha Dasgupta is married with an English woman,Tagore won Nobel prize when his wife died;while J.C Bose,S.N Bose etc were married with Bengali but see all those genius missed Nobel prize because of their ill fate.So stay away from Bengali women but other Indian women are even more predatory/dumb.
The people also say that Bengalis are shorter than North Indians. Yet when I went to a Hindi temple and a Probasi, they looked the same. Also there is are clips of two Indian travelers eating in Bhubnasewar and Cuttack in Orissa, and the same people eat in Haryana/Punjab. If you see the clips, the people look the same height. I’ll find the clips on youtube later.
If anyone say such thing tell him to read the BLOG_Indian/Chinese IQ puzzle
Ever since one/two Bengali guys,specially someone with surname Chakraborty posted,even American girls are searching on google-are Bengali men hot/intelligent etc…so if anyone speak bad about us such as Mama’s boy then tell him to read that blog and comments of those guys…Bengali guys were smartest among all Indian/Chinese,White ,Jew etc.
these r non-bengalis generally punjabi pigs who r defaming bangla boys. Unfortunately bengali balas r following them mindlessly
To all bengali girls who think bangla boys r inferior to others go and see a good psychiatrist before it gets too late . and further fact is it is boys who refuse the bengali girls, and not them not going with us becoz of their declining moral values
Hi Arnab,
You found a new admirer for your “Brain” … Frankly, have been a Bery “secret” admirer of your blog for a long time now.. and always waiting for the next “Brainstorm” !!
SY